64.小悪魔との関係性 - I Was Cheated on by My Girlfriend but My Devilish Junior Now Yearns for Me

After finishing my ramen, I headed straight home. Yet, inexplicably, Shinohara was sprawled out in front of me. Seeing her lounging as if she were getting ready to relax as usual, I couldn't help but say something. "Why did you follow me here?" "How rude!" Shinohara snapped shut the manga she was about to read. "Weren't you supposed to have plans with Natsuki? Normally, you'd go to her place, right?" "I can go out to eat with Natsuki any time." "You can come to my place anytime too." Upon saying that, Shinohara wagged her finger with a little tsk. "You're missing the point, senpai. Today only comes once in a lifetime, right? It's only natural to want to spend a precious day satisfying your desires." "Ah, I see." "Don't brush it off!" To appease my disgruntled junior as she flailed her limbs, I handed her a vegetable juice I fetched from the fridge. I grasped a straw with my lips and gulped it down. The sensation of nutrients soaking into a body tainted by unhealthy meals. Feeling somewhat alleviated, I exhaled. "Your place is really nice, senpai." "Is that so?" It's a small room with no problem for the two of us to spend time, but I've always thought that once I become a fully-fledged adult, I’d like to rent a one-bedroom apartment even if I live alone. For someone like me, who enjoys spending time at home, this room isn't quite satisfying. "It is. It's clean too." "That's because of you, though." "True. But there's an even better reason." "What’s that?" Shinohara turned her face toward me from where she lay on her back. “Because you’re relaxing in the same space, senpai.” ...Taking such words to heart would be never-ending. The peculiar relationship between me and Shinohara, different from with Ayaka, is maintained by my not taking her words seriously. That's why I usually let comments like these slide, but after realizing I'm not favored by Natsuki earlier, her words of affection felt more uplifting than usual. ─Indeed, I'm quite indulgent. "Thanks for everything, as always." "...What's up with you, senpai?" Shinohara sat up and placed her manga back on the bed. As I was about to deliver a sizable boomerang of "Put back what you took from the bookshelf," Shinohara spoke first, perhaps sensing something. "Let me just say one thing." "Hmm?" "I have more fun spending time with you, senpai." "…You mentioned earlier that was why you came." "It seemed like you were in a sensitive mood, so I said it again! Don't reply so calmly; give me a more emotional response!" Shinohara, muttering "always so calm," walked towards the fridge. The fact she’s here proves her time with me is more enjoyable than with Natsuki. It's precisely because of this thought that I ponder. What exactly is it about me that appeals to Shinohara? Looking into the fridge, she seems to find nothing inside and lets out a grand sigh. I momentarily put aside my musings to speak to her. "Don’t sigh. It can't be helped." "It can't be helped, huh?" In the times Shinohara doesn’t visit, I usually subsist on convenience store bento or instant ramen. I know full well that cooking for oneself is healthier and more economical, but lately, I haven't been feeling up to it. Living truly alone makes me deeply appreciate what my parents do, and those who take care of household chores. "But you know, senpai, if you'd stocked up even a little while I wasn't here, I could whip up a late-night snack for you, you know?" "...Damn, I should've stocked up. But there's ice cream in the freezer." "It's cold enough, so no thanks." Refusing, Shinohara lay down with her head resting on a cushion. Seeing how relaxed my junior is, while I hesitate to admit it, feels somewhat endearing. "Senpai, should I come over and make breakfast for you tomorrow?" "Can I count on that?" "Yes, I’d like to have breakfast together!" A guileless smile unseen with Natsuki, paired with straightforward words of affection. When directed at me, I find myself unable to accept them head-on and escape into unproductive thinking. Being in her presence makes me realize this truth. ─Accepting affection requires a certain capacity. I lack that, and perhaps that’s why Shinohara feels comfortable enough to relax here. "...Pathetic." "Huh? Do I need a reason to want breakfast?" "That’s not it!" "It’s confusing to hear 'pathetic' out of nowhere!" Acknowledging her completely valid point, I apologized while my thoughts wandered again. There was an event worthy of being called a "turning point" in the process of forming a deep relationship with Ayaka. That’s why our relationship is one I’m satisfied with and find genuinely pleasant at heart. However, with Shinohara, there was no such event as with Ayaka. No dramatic incident to become best friends or a ritual of a confession to become romantically involved—just her fondness for me. Even though we are this close, I don’t understand the reason. Perhaps that’s why I'm bewildered. Despite being aware of how useless and trivial these thoughts are, they unintentionally cross my mind. ─Why is she always spending time with me? "You seem close with Natsuki." "Yes, we were quite close at our part-time job." "Do you know why you’re close?" Shinohara tilted her head, unable to grasp the intention behind my question. "Do you really need a reason to be close with someone?" "...In an average relationship, I don’t think much about it. But, I sometimes wonder when it comes to someone particularly close." I avoid explicitly stating that I’m referring to Shinohara. She pondered for a moment before speaking up. "Hmm. Why I'm close with Natsuki? Maybe it’s because she's cute." "Huh?" "…What’s with that face like ‘Is this girl serious?’" After giving me a sidelong glance, Shinohara sat cross-legged, looking up at the low ceiling as she gently swayed. "Today, Natsuki seemed a bit tenser than usual." "Is that so?" "When waves of customers flood our workplace, there are times when Natsuki gets tense too. Her work pace affects other employees. She never says it outright, but it’s noticeable enough for someone close to her like me." "Interesting..." "To be honest, I dislike those who are so emotional." "Huh?!" A strange voice escaped me. She didn’t even try to sugarcoat it with something like “dislike”; she outright said hate. Seeing my reaction, Shinohara waved her hands hastily. "Oh, don't get the wrong idea. It's just that I don't like emotional people in general; it doesn't mean I dislike Natsuki. It's just that if a complete stranger were like that, I'd rather not get involved." "Then why are you close with Natsuki?" "Because I realized her personality after we became friends. Haven't you ever found initially disliked traits of someone more amusing once you got close to them, senpai?" ...Come to think of it, there might be some truth to that. Shinohara perfectly fits that example. I'm not fond of people who intrude into my private space at home. It feels incredibly burdensome to have my pace or routine disrupted by others, making it difficult to accommodate such disruptions. However, I don't particularly mind Shinohara's presence. That's because, as she pointed out, I discovered those aspects after we became close. The depth of our relationship broke through the walls I had built. Once you allow someone in, it becomes easier to maintain that relationship. The state of my relationship with Shinohara now affirms that statement. "…Perhaps so." As I replied, Shinohara nodded with satisfaction. "I want to stay friends with those I've grown close to." "What about Motosaka?" At my teasing question, Shinohara pouted. "Well, he betrayed me first. I'm not so naive as to keep my affections for someone like that." Responding to malice with malice. Straightforward yet somewhat elusive. "I also have something I want to ask, is that alright?" In a tone as if she suddenly remembered, I replied briefly, "Hmm?" "Do you like Ayaka-senpai, senpai?" "Ugh!" The abrupt question caught me off guard, causing me to blow out in surprise. Shinohara looked up in astonishment. "What!? Do you really like her!?" "N-no! We are close, but I don't have romantic feelings for her!" "But... if that's the case, you're a bit odd yourself, senpai. Because, isn't Ayaka-senpai incredibly beautiful? Honestly, I think there aren't many people who surpass her in terms of beauty." I genuinely agree with that. Despite being together since high school, there are moments I find myself startled by her allure. I'd love to meet a man who remains entirely unfazed by Ayaka's sudden displays of femininity. I can't deny Ayaka's attributes, so I had no choice but to nod at Shinohara's words. "Yeah, maybe." "…Well, I'm cuter, though!" "Why compete over that!?" "It irks me when you acknowledge Ayaka-senpai, senpai!" Shinohara turned her face away in a huff, crossing her arms. It was clear from today's encounter that nothing had improved in their relationship. Even if I asked for a reason, Shinohara probably wouldn't say anything. Ayaka had mentioned she'd explain someday, but she didn't seem ready to adhere to that promise yet. ...Well, there's no rush. Even if their relationship remains strained, it doesn't affect my individual interactions with either of them. "So, putting Ayaka-senpai aside, what exactly were you trying to say, senpai?" After contemplating whether to respond, I shook my head. "…I don’t know." The thought of asking why we were so close was merely a fleeting impulse. That's all it was. When I brushed it off, Shinohara responded with a wry smile. "What was that about?" Watching her lay down again, a vague thought crossed my mind. Had I voiced my question about what I wanted to know, perhaps our relationship might have changed a bit.