863 - Childhood Friend of the Zenith
Chapter 863: The World's Greatest Friend Memories emerge. Most of them are recollections from my past life. The events following my mother's departure. The gradual deterioration of my own self. The times when I would break and throw things. How I mistreated the servants. The wretched moments when I yelled over trivial matters. Those who worried for me, and even my own affections appeared as malice back then. As I was falling apart each day, someone was watching me from afar. 'Father?' Whether I was crying or angry, my father watched me from afar as I curled up and wasted away. When was this memory from? I can't pinpoint it. Frankly, it feels odd to even call it my memory. I didn't even know I had such a recollection. Could it be an illusion? It seemed right to dismiss it as such, but it didn't feel like one. Then, is it truly a memory? A memory unknown to me? 'Why?' Why is this surfacing now? I can't comprehend it. Moreover... ‘Why is he making that expression?’ Why is Father looking at me with those eyes? He always appears expressionless, but something was different. What kind of look is that? Contempt, or perhaps disdain? I used to think those were the only emotions in his gaze during those days, yet now it seemed different. Worry was interwoven within his impassive eyes. Worry, he was worried about me? Watching me from a distance without approaching, his hands and feet move slightly as if he's contemplating coming closer. After a long while of gazing, Father suddenly closes his eyes tightly and turns away. Why? Why does he not approach and walk away instead? Why does he make such a face? I have no answers. Then, suddenly the scene changes. When was that? Judging by my age, it seems similar to now. Ah, I think I know. It must have been shortly after I became the young lord. -You still haven't come to your senses. How long do you plan to continue living like this? Father, with a rare expression of anger. Why was he so upset? I know the time, but not the situation. In those days, right after I became the young lord, there were many instances like this. To his words, I replied with a contemptuous curl of my lips. -Why? Are you planning on caring now? I had such an insolent expression, how could I wear a face like that? It was even before my transformation, making my face appear even worse. -Why do something you haven't done before? Just leave me as you usually do. -... Father, who was scolding me, suddenly stopped as if my words struck him. Back then, I must have been filled with fear inside. Despite that, the reason I raged was probably due to the many things built up within me. Though, of course. -If you're trying to play the role of a father now, I don't need it. Such a pathetic attitude couldn't be justified. What a fool I was. -... Father said nothing more. After staring at each other for a long time, -...Leave. The order was given. -You are to be on probation until you leave for Henan as punishment. -Yes. Let it be so. With those words, a squabble ended, and I stormed out, slamming the door behind me. What mistake did I make? What did I do wrong to receive such a punishment? None of it was clear to me. The only thing I could discern was that after I left, Father rubbed his forehead and sighed mournfully. That expression felt strangely familiar. ‘Why…’ Why are these things being shown to me? The scene shifts once more. This time, it's a drizzly day. My heart sinks. I knew immediately what kind of day it was. My father, collapsed and bleeding. His hair, whitened, and his face aged with many newfound wrinkles. Even his once vivid eyes slowly losing their crimson hue. It was that day. The day I killed my father with my own hands. The final conversation with my father, whose breaths grew weaker. This is undoubtedly a memory from that time. -I forgive you. The day he forgave my attempt to make him kill me with his own hands. -Live. His last command to his pathetic son to live. It's a memory I wish not to see. One that is so dreadful and repulsive I'd rather it be erased forever. If I could intervene, I would run to that fool and destroy him. [You have never moved on from this moment.] I recall the words of the Nine Wheels Flame Technique. I understood. I remained trapped in that moment. Rain poured down, and the day's cold calmness settled. Father's lips, from which soft breath escaped, gradually ceased to move. His life was ending. I crouched, quietly watching such a father. And he, too, was watching me. As the scene unfolds before my eyes, they widen. Perhaps because I saw memories from my childhood. I realized something belatedly. ‘...Those eyes.’ From when I first started seeing these memories until now. The eyes that looked at me were the same. I thought they were filled only with contempt and anger. Yet, my father's eyes, from the beginning, held an essence of worry. Why worry about me? Why not despise or hate me? Then, has he never hated me to begin with? My head spins. If that's how it truly was in my past life. ‘Then what about now?’ What does Father's gaze look like now? What were those eyes like when they looked at me? I ponder this and come to a realization. Ah, I've never truly met my father's eyes properly, not in my past life nor this current one. Thus, I can't know if he really looked at me with those eyes. It's a heavy feeling that roils inside. At the same time, a thought strikes me. Was I unaware of this? Or was it that I refused to know? ‘...It must have been the latter.’ I'm certain it was. [I despise you.] I understand the words of the flame. I, too, despised myself. [Why are you alive?] I want to ask myself. Why am I alive? Just the desire to live. Even though I answered that way, it felt too insufficient to be the only reason. Despite knowing this, I had to live. Or rather, I felt I must have lived. Why, though? It's a question I have pondered countless times when asked by the flame. Yet, strangely, I feel like I finally understand now. "Live." Father's words resonated in my heart. "Please live." "Continue living." "Survive." The words different people said to me as I was falling apart echoed once more. Why are these words resurfacing now? It was as if they were trying to reveal the reason I am still alive. It feels narrow-minded and petty. Remembering their words now and trying to use them as a reason for living. It's terribly petty and insignificant of me. Is this acceptable? I don't know. Right now, more than anything, I really just wanted to see Father suddenly. With that thought, the obscured vision before me became clear. ******************* Uuuuuung. My vision was blurry, and my ears were ringing. The tinnitus filled my ears. It felt as though all my senses were blocked. An overwhelming sensation. But this was merely a momentary experience, as my senses slowly started returning, one at a time. The first to return was my sense of smell. It felt as if a clogged nose had cleared, allowing me to perceive scents. The musty smell of dust mixed with an indistinguishable floral scent. What is this? Why do I smell flowers? Before I could dwell on the bizarre incongruity, next to return was my sense of touch. I felt constrained, as if something were binding my body. What is this again? Why does it feel so stifling? Though I couldn't see, as I tried to move my body, my sight miraculously returned as well. It started out blurry but slowly sharpened into focus, just like the rest. Then I understood. Why I felt as though I were bound. I was truly tied up. Not with ropes or anything of that sort, but held down by human hands and bodies. ‘…So that's where the mixed smell of dust and flowers came from.’ The strange scent was also understood. Of course, the dust was understandable given the space, but the floral scent emanated from those binding me. The first thing I saw was a crown. A mixture of silver and blonde intertwined together. Naturally, it was Namgung Bia and Wi Seol-ah. Both clinging tightly to me. I could even tell, subtly, from the small vibrations that both were trembling. Observing quietly, I asked. "...What are you two doing?" At my words, their bodies jolted dramatically. Then, the blonde, Wi Seol-ah, cautiously lifted her head from where it was buried in my chest. Our eyes met, and now, I was the one surprised. Her face was a mess. Terror-stricken, with eyes red and swollen and tear stains evident everywhere. "...You?" Why are you like this? I was about to ask when suddenly. "H-hik..." "What the..." Wi Seol-ah abruptly began crying in front of me. Not just crying, but tears poured down her face. “What, hey…!” It was the first time I witnessed Wi Seol-ah cry like this. Caught off guard, I tried to do something, anything to help. Squeeze. But my body remained restrained and couldn't move. Thankfully, Wi Seol-ah's grip had weakened, but Namgung Bia still held tight, even stronger than before. “What's going on...? Why are you crying?" “Hooohoooonng." It's a complete mess. Now she's sobbing aloud. What should I do about this? I should console her somehow, but with my body immobilized, I couldn't console or anything else. Should I break free? If so, I'd need strength.... Fwrooom--! "Huh?" "Waaa... Ah!" “…!” The thought of how to free myself brought an unexpected change in my body. My body passed right through their hands as if seamlessly cutting through air. Caught off guard, they both stumbled backward. I looked down, examining my hands. Swoosh—. My hands had transformed into flames. Not just my hands. To others, my body might seem intact, but I knew. If I wished, I could convert my entire physical presence into a flame. I didn't know how this was possible, but I knew instinctively. ‘...I've reached it.’ This is it, this is reaching it. I had reached the pinnacle of one profound technique and obtained its title. Great Mastery (大成). At this moment, I was touching the very end of the Nine Wheels Flame Technique. There couldn't be such a sensation otherwise. ‘How?’ How did I suddenly achieve Great Mastery? Though I grasped the end of this sense, I was nowhere near making it mine nor holding it properly. ‘...Could it be.’ Was it because of what just happened? Was it thanks to defeating that clone of me formed by the Nine Wheels Flame Technique? It seemed so. Nothing else came to mind. The problem was. “What is... this now?” Not only my body but the flame itself had changed. Swoooosh—!! The flame flickering around my hand. It was neither the black hue of demonic energy nor the blue I gained after my transformation. White (白色). It was an incredibly radiant, pure white flame. hwawol72 2024.10.21 18:29 Report Feel free to put on a flame show. 0 Yeonwoo 2024.10.28 08:02 Report Now that he's achieved the white flame, Namgung Bia should be the main wife. 0 Only logged-in members can post comments. 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