第96話 あの日の影響 - I Was Cheated on by My Girlfriend but My Devilish Junior Now Yearns for Me
The sound of basketball dribbling echoed throughout the gymnasium. The smell of wax teased my nostrils, and as someone who was part of the basketball club throughout my junior high and high school years, this place felt comfortably familiar. Today was the scheduled activity day for the basketball circle, "Start," that Reina and I had promised each other we would attend. The basketball shoes I was wearing were my favorites, and I carefully tied the laces. As I stood up and rubbed the soles against the floor, the satisfying squeak they produced was music to my ears. The floor seemed to be in good condition. "Hey, Yuu." "What is it?" I responded to Toudou, who had spoken to me from the side. "It's not 'what is it,'" he said with a smirk, motioning behind him with his thumb. At the gym's entrance he indicated, Reina was standing. "If you brought a girl that's not your underclassman, isn't that your ex-girlfriend?" "That's right." Toudou raised an eyebrow, seemingly puzzled by my straightforward acknowledgment. "Did you guys get back together?" "No, we didn't." "Then why'd you bring her along? You got cheated on, right? What made you change your mind?" Toudou looked at me with a slightly exasperated expression. He seemed to want to say, "What are you thinking, bringing a girl who cheated on you?" If the situation were exactly as it appeared, I'd probably think the same. "Just to be sure, you haven't talked about that to anyone, have you?" When I asked, Toudou immediately replied, "Of course not." "I'm pretty clear on where to draw the line. If it was something like you falling for someone, sure, I might spread it around." "Then you're drawing the line in the wrong place..." Toudou chuckled, shaking his shoulders slightly with amusement. Despite lingering concerns, if I ever doubted Toudou, it would lead to distrust in people altogether. Though our relationship started in college, he's the person I spend the most time with among my male friends. That's precisely why I wanted to share what happened with Reina. Though it's hard to show my pathetic side willingly, if it clears Reina's name, it's a small price to pay. "I've got something to tell you, Toudou." I sat down beside Toudou once again. Glancing towards the entrance, I saw Reina curiously observing the circle members shooting hoops. —Reina was waiting patiently, as I had asked, until I finished explaining everything to Toudou. A few friends, including Ayaka and Toudou, understood when I said the reason for our breakup was Reina's infidelity. In this circle, only Toudou knew, but eventually, I'd have to correct everyone. Reina had said, "You don't have to do this just for me." To her, my planned actions might seem like mere self-satisfaction, with little genuine meaning. But to me, it was the bare minimum of respect. An essential condition to interact with Reina without any regrets in the future. So, my form of respect, which outwardly appeared to be for "Reina's sake," was nothing but self-preservation. Even so, if it led to a fresh start with Reina, it would give that self-preservation significance. Talking with Toudou was the first step towards that sense of respect. Taking a deep breath, I gathered my resolve. "I did tell you she cheated on me." Toudou made a skeptical face as I began to unravel my words. As I recalled the events from last year, recalling each detail with a sense of self-reflection, it took time to talk it all through. Initially, Toudou listened with a casual demeanor, but gradually adopted a more serious expression. Toudou is dedicated to his girlfriend. Perhaps, after this, he might hold me in contempt. Given his nature, he wouldn't show it outwardly, but what he thinks internally is unknown. I was aware of the possibility of a dear friend's withdrawal only after I began speaking, but I couldn't stop midway. And so, several minutes later, I finally managed to convey everything. While I hadn't explicitly mentioned Ayaka's name, Toudou might still figure it out. In reality, the entire situation was due to my lack of consideration, and Ayaka herself bore no blame. However, probably only I could properly understand that. Because the relationship between Ayaka and me was only understood by us. Even Toudou wasn't privy to why Ayaka and I had a unique relationship that set us apart from others. The current relationship was due to the shared experiences of our high school sophomore years, but merely explaining it with words wouldn't help others understand. Ayaka and I both knew this. That's exactly why, thinking Ayaka might reconsider her relationship with me because of this incident with Reina, left me somewhat unsettled. Yet, even after I informed her about what happened with Reina, Ayaka still spoke to me just like always. In that, I felt a small sense of relief. Because while the relationship might seem distorted to others, it's something I find irreplaceable. That being said, what happened with Reina and my actions towards it were completely separate issues. Now, I needed to confront the reality that my lack of consideration had caused this. Talking with Toudou was the first step in doing just that, yet throughout my explanation, Toudou didn't interject a single word. —Surely, he was disgusted. The more I spoke, the clearer it became how awful the situation really was. Toudou must also have been pondering how to respond. Waiting in silence, Toudou eventually let out a heavy sigh. "…I'm really glad I didn't tell anyone." "…Sorry. I made you look out for me unnecessarily." Just like Ayaka, Toudou had shown me concern, at least initially after my breakup. But that was only because of the unique ordeal of being cheated on. If it had merely been a breakup, Toudou probably wouldn't have shown any particular concern. Though, Ayaka had laughed it off, and Toudou had chosen to tease me instead, taking unusual approaches. Toudou seemed to have read my mind as well, as he chuckled, "I was just messing around." "But Reina's got it rough." I nodded at Toudou's remark. "I'm truly sorry. … Even if you despise me, I wouldn't blame you." With a dark tone in my voice, Toudou surprisingly let out a small smile. "No, to be honest, I kinda understand your perspective, too. I've had my own experience of unwittingly making my girlfriend angry by enthusiastically updating her about every fun little thing." "You too, Toudou?" I felt a bit surprised, given his reliable reputation. The circle had welcomed many new members, and it was only Toudou's leadership that brought so many people to our basketball club, among countless others. He was someone who could interact with anyone warmly without bias, admired by both seniors and juniors alike for his charm. Even setting aside any bias as a friend, it's rare to find someone in our age group with as many respectable qualities as Toudou. The thought that Toudou had made the same kinds of mistakes as I did brought a slight smile to my face. "...So even you slip up sometimes, huh?" "Of course, I do. I'm only getting along with my current girlfriend because I messed up so much early on. I got dumped by my last girlfriend because of arguments stemming from those very slip-ups." "Really? I always thought you had that kind of awareness naturally," I teased. Toudou smirked. "Nah, not at all." "When you experience failures first, you can keep your cool while everyone else is stumbling through theirs. The impression you have of me is just the result of that. It's quite an advantage." There was an undeniable weight to his words. It seemed like a personal conviction Toudou had developed through his own experiences rather than borrowed wisdom. It struck me as a versatile theory applicable to romance and perhaps life in general, and it resonated deeply. "They say adults have composure, but maybe it's because they've already experienced failure," I mused, getting to my feet. Failure is the stepping stone to success. If what happened between Reina and me was a failure, then perhaps the time will come when I can use that experience to my advantage. Whether that time is six months, a year, or even further down the line, I don't know. But as long as I don't forget the incident with Reina, that time will surely arrive. "Who'll that person be?" Toudou wondered aloud with a sly grin. I pondered for a brief moment before giving up on the thought. "It might just be you." "Stop it!" Toudou exclaimed, jokingly jumping in his seat. I chuckled as I started walking toward Reina. Reina, who had been cautiously peering in from the entrance, met my gaze. I had told Toudou everything. —Now, perhaps, I'd be able to speak with Reina without any residual worries. Surely, the answer would come soon. Whether the decision to restart was good or bad, probably so. I raised my hand toward Reina, signaling to her that I had finished talking to Toudou.