1011 - Childhood Friend of the Zenith
Chapter 1011: More Than Just a Second Calamity It wasn't just a second calamity. A being meant to bring about disaster. Mother spoke of herself as such, and indirectly, it means she referred to me as the disaster she mentioned. This implies: 'I was destined to be born as a calamity from the beginning.' Moreover, my mother claimed she wasn't meant to play the role of a calamity. The purpose was in giving birth to me as a disaster. 'To have the purpose of birthing a calamity…' The world sought to scrutinize every process after the failure of the Blood Demon. They lowered the threshold for martial artists and calculated scenarios where failure was an impossibility. This was… 'Was the intention to bring a calamity into existence in Zhongyuan from the start?' My mother was the conduit, and she met my father to birth me? '…How?' How could they believe that giving birth to me would result in a calamity? Did my mother meet my father with this knowledge? Then what about the life I've lived until now? 'Could everything that brought me here be the will of the world…?' Is it possible that even my experiences of regression were part of this grand design? 'Do you truly believe your regression was a coincidence?' "..." The words of Yeon Ilcheon lingered in my mind. 'You are the calamity.' The thoughts of Yeon Ilcheon, whom I met at the Shin Ryong Temple, spoke the truth. Could it be that he said it with this understanding in mind? "…Haha." I raked a hand through my hair. A sense of exhaustion washed over me. Shin Noya once told me that if I didn't find those thoughts true to myself, then they aren't. He urged me to trust in myself. I’ve persevered until now by believing those words. "…What am I supposed to believe in from here?" With the situation escalating to this point, what is left for me to trust in? Especially when even my own mother claimed she gave birth to me as a calamity. What can I hold on to believe in? '…Was it doomed from the start?' Was my very birth the problem? Or was it the struggle to live a better life that was at fault? Despite having regressed, striving for a different life seemed in vain. '…If everything was predetermined from the beginning.' What have I endured all this for? Everything was on the verge of becoming meaningless. As I bit my lip, feeling the turmoil inside me swelling, "Son…" Mother spoke to me. Her voice was forlorn, her eyes sorrowful. Seeing her, I let the question escape that I had been holding back. "If your purpose was truly as you say." It was a question I never wanted to ask, yet here it was, needing to be addressed. "Does Father know about this?" "…" She met my father with the purpose of bringing forth a calamity. Wasn't there supposed to be an adversary to stand against? Someone meant to counter the calamity whenever it rose. Noya said that Yeon Ilcheon was intended to be the adversary of the Blood Demon. If Mother came as a calamity, then Father was supposed to be my adversary. Was it? 'Mother said she wasn't the calamity.' If my fate meant I was to exist as the calamity of Zhongyuan, 'Does that mean my father is my adversary?' It's a ridiculous notion. Having a destiny to stand against one's own child. 'After all…' In a past life, I killed my father with my own hands. Could this life be the opposite? As that thought crossed my mind, deepening the furrow of my brow, "Your father didn't know." Mother spoke. "…He didn't know?" "Yes… I didn't know either. It was upon bearing Ryeong-hwa that I came to realize." "…" Mother confessed she realized it when she gave birth to Gu Ryonghwa. "When I first fell into this world. I knew nothing. All memories had been shrouded. Knowing about the karma shouldn't have been allowed." "Why not?" "Because knowing would bring about anomalies. And indeed, it did." So she lived all those years unaware of her identity as the Mistress of the Myriad Worlds? That whole time? 'Then, upon giving birth to Ryeong-hwa, she understood.' Narrowing my eyes, I tried to rekindle memories of the past. Frankly, it's a confusing tale. There's not much age difference between Gu Ryonghwa and me. It's hard to recall any particular change in mother after her birth. Moreover, 'Must I doubt even this?' That I find myself doubting even mother's words was exhausting. But what's most important here isn't any of that. In the end, "What’s your purpose, Mother…?" What is Mother's true purpose? Summoning me to this place, creating an illusion through the Divine Tree to converse with me. There must be a significant reason behind it all. Also, 'I wanted to believe that purpose wasn't about making me a calamity.' Surely, things couldn’t be that abysmal, no matter how turbulent my life was. I held that as a minimal bastion of belief. The dialogues with Mother imbued me with a degree of assurance. "You said something about covering the eyes. What exactly do you mean by that…?" She intended to cover the eyes of the world. That’s the purpose Mother claimed to hold now. And in covering those eyes, 'Does that mean she is hiding my fate from being seen?' Then what is the reason for feeding me the Heavenly Pill? And what sort of plan is Mother preparing? Through that plan, 'Could I not become the calamity?' I was curious about everything. Could this plan alleviate my anxiety? In the first place, 'How would I even become a calamity?' Even if such was my fate, how exactly would I transform into a calamity? Becoming merely stronger doesn't equate to becoming a calamity. 'Destroy all life in Zhongyuan.' Something that transcends the very concept of killing—an idea that could rightfully be called a calamity needs to exist. 'I.' Never had any intent of such. At least not now—given my current state, how could I morph into a calamity? Even if things somehow lead up to that, I found it untrustworthy. This uncertainty gnawed at me, as I remained oblivious to what might cause a drastic change in myself someday. Attempting to address the situation, I inquired. "I cannot tell you." Mother furrowed her brow and spoke to me. "…I can't tell you." "You can't?" "At least not now… with the current sequence of events, this is as much as I can reveal." "The current sequence…" Something dawned on me. "Does that mean things will change when I encounter the next Divine Tree?" Mother smiled faintly at my words. "My son, you're clever." "…" I hit the mark. In the land of Yawol, the Divine Tree appeared. My mother appeared there, and there were five Divine Trees present in this realm. It implied that my mother's apparition was present in each of these trees. "…And the first one was the Divine Tree of Yawol?" "That's right." "So did you anticipate… that I would touch the Divine Tree? Or did you arrange for it somehow…" Before I could finish the thought, Mother interjected. "I entrusted many to make it possible for that to happen." "…Entrusted, you say." Noya immediately came to mind when I heard this. Moreover, it wasn't just Noya involved. "Son." Mother called me. I looked at her, my expression unwavering. "I know it's hard. I'm sorry… but please, hold on a little longer…" "…" What was there to say? Should I utter words of resentment? Why, indeed, did she give birth to me, if this was to be my life? Should I voice such childish concerns? A part of me yearned to, but the years I've lived make such sentiments feel out of place. Hence. "Mother." "Yes." The words I should utter are not ones of blame. "You told me to go to the hill on a full moon night. Is this related?" "Huh?" Mother's eyes widened at my words. "…When?" "A few days ago." "Was that me?" Is it truly I? Her question made me furrow my brow slightly. Her language implied she knew her current form was missing memories. "I’m not certain, but I think so." "…I see." "I understand the full moon part, but I have no idea about the hill." "…The hill." Upon hearing that, Mother nodded slightly. "It’s probably where the next Divine Tree is." "The next Divine Tree?" "Yes." "By the next Divine Tree, you mean—" "Go to Marryong Mountain. It must be the hill around that area. I’m sure that’s the place I'm referring to." "Marryong Mountain…" Where might that be? It isn’t a place I know. I’m not familiar with how regions in this realm are structured. 'Marryong Mountain…?' The only clue lies in the description of it as a hill, connecting it to past conversations. 'To speak of Marryong Mountain so confidently.' Mother knew at the time that I would soon touch the Divine Tree of Yawol. At that moment. Crack. "Ah." With a small sound, Mother let out a gasp. As I turned my gaze to her, her hand began to crumble. "Oh dear…" She gazed at her hand with a sense of loss. "…It seems time is up." Was there some set time? Unconsciously, I took a step forward at the sight. I reached out to grasp Mother's wrist. Yet, before I could touch her, she disintegrated. "There must be so much you wish to ask… I'm sorry I couldn't tell you more." "…Mother." "I really wanted to see you. It's such a pity I cannot even touch you now." Her crumbled hand rose to brush against my cheek. Yet there was no tangible feeling. "Son." "…Yes." "Though it may sound strange coming from a mother, don't worry." She smiled as she reassured me. "Mother will somehow make it alright." Saying this, her body continued to disintegrate rapidly. I could do nothing but watch. I had so many questions but couldn't ask them. There was much I longed to hear, yet it remained unspoken. My mouth felt weighted down with stone. Unable to utter a word, I could only witness as Mother disappeared. "When you get back, seek out the Abyss. That child might have something to share with you now." "…The Abyss?" "Yes. They are truly a grateful soul. Please convey my gratitude in my stead." With a sound like crumbling rocks, My mother vanished almost completely. "My dear son. Mother has missed you so much. We'll… meet again someday." With those parting words. She entirely crumbled away, vanishing from sight. "…" The fragments on the ground vanished, too. Nothing but emptiness remained in the space. It felt as though I had been alone all along, with nothing tangible left behind. With that sensation, I glanced around. Turning slightly, I widened my eyes in mild surprise. "What's this…?" The Divine Tree I'd been touching moments ago had disappeared. Where had it gone? As I pondered this, Thump-! "…!" A sensation emanated from my heart. This was… 'The Divine Tree?' The energy previously felt from the Divine Tree now coursed through me. It wasn't strictly their energy nor malevolent energy. Instead, it felt subtly akin to the Divine Tree itself. Similar to the sensation I had near the immense Divine Tree of the Hwasan sect. Calming and serene, like a pristine lake. Rubbing my chest, I contemplated the feeling. Could I have absorbed the Divine Tree somehow? As I mused upon this, Mother's words echoed through my mind. 'I have missed you truly.' "…" Such a simple phrase lingered within me like a blooming flower. "…Yes. Me, too." I whispered back, the words slipping out amid the fragrance of that memory. 2 Comments 3.1 / 81 Yeon Woo 2024.10.30 17:33 신고 Aww, it's sad even for the mother. 0 Himmel 2 days ago 신고 What does she mean by ‘covering the eyes’? Is she trying to make her son a god or something? 0 Only logged-in members can post comments. 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