151 The Distance Sendai-san Chose - Story About Buying My Classmate Once A Week

The Distance Sendai-san Chose Chapter 151 I've been spending more time in the shared space than before. More accurately, I've been consciously increasing the time I spend with Sendai-san. This hasn't changed even with the arrival of June. "Miyagi, what do you want to do once you're finished eating?" Sendai-san asks, twirling her fork in the mentaiko pasta from dinner. "I feel like having something to drink." "Then I'll make some tea." It's become difficult to visit Sendai-san's room ever since then. Sendai-san doesn't invite me over either. She lingers in the shared space instead of going straight to her room, which means that if I want to spend time with her, I'm naturally spending more time in the shared space. I wrap the last bit of pasta around my fork and take a final bite. I don't intend to make any major changes to our life here. I wish to continue living together with Sendai-san just as we are and to remain roommates. If I want to make this wish come true, I can't keep running away from her. Even if it's awkward, being together should bring us closer to how we used to be. Besides, staying by Sendai-san's side makes me uneasy, but I also can't relax when I'm away from her, so I have no choice but to be with her. "I'll do the dishes." Seeing that Sendai-san's plate is empty, I get up. "Thank you. I'll leave it to you." I clear away the dishes for the both of us and turn on the water. If only I could wash away everything that happened on Sunday as easily as the water flows down the drain. But I find it hard to simply erase what transpired between Sendai-san and me. The more I try to forget that day, the more vividly it lingers in my mind. Where did Sendai-san touch me? What voice did she whisper in? The memories resurface. Her hand, her lips—thanks to the countless times Sendai-san has touched and kissed me in the past, these sensations are easily recalled. Sendai-san, though perhaps not as troubled as I am, is also concerned about what happened on Sunday. If we continue to be burdened by it, we won't be able to live as roommates for four years. Everything should return to normal soon. What's done is done. I go about washing the dishes, one by one. The plates are clean, the pot is clean. I wash everything we used for dinner and sit back down in my chair. "Sendai-san, I'm done." "Alright, I'll make the tea." With that, Sendai-san stands up. It's not a ritual to drink tea after dinner—sometimes it's orange juice, sometimes it's barley tea. Yesterday, we had ice cream. The menu changes based on the occasion. It doesn't matter what we eat or drink. What matters is sitting here together. "Sorry to keep you waiting." Sendai-san's voice reaches me as she places a mug in front of me. "Thanks." I take a sip of the tea and look at Sendai-san seated across from me. Her expression hasn't changed from yesterday, the day before, or the day before that. She's probably trying to keep it that way. To dilute the awkwardness between us, the only choice is to act like nothing happened. So, while Sendai-san behaves like her usual self, I can't help but notice an occasional sense of distance that wasn't there before. Despite her previous ease in approaching me, she's not approaching now. I want to know what Sendai-san is thinking, but as I look at her, I can never tell. What can be understood from just looking is limited. If there's something I want to know, I should ask with words. I understand that, but asking is difficult, so I just observe her. The reason for the clear differences in Sendai-san, though she acts the same as before, is unclear to me, but I want to know. However, inquiring would probably mean touching on that day's events. "Sendai-san, when's your birthday? It's in August, right?" I inquire about something I didn't know before instead of what I truly want to know. "That's right. But why do you ask all of a sudden?" "I just realized it's coming up soon and was curious." Despite having been with Sendai-san for so long, I don't even know her birthday. I feel that even learning something insignificant about her might help me grasp a fraction of what I truly wish to know. "August 23rd. It's at the end of August, so it's not that soon. How about you, Miyagi?" "September 25th." I have never shared it before, but today I answer straightforwardly. If I didn't have to respond to Sendai-san's questions, I would rather ask about her family than her birthday. I remember her displeasure quite well when I asked about her family last summer. She still doesn’t appear to be in contact with her family. I don't mean to intrude into her family matters, but I am curious. The reason I refrain from asking Sendai-san about her family is that if she asks me the same in return, I can't respond. While I can answer about my birthday, I'm reluctant to discuss my family. "Is September 25th Virgo or Libra?" "Libra." "I see. I heard Libras are sociable, but..." "What?" "Oh, nothing. I was just thinking about what it means to be sociable." Sendai-san chuckles softly. Clearly, she doesn't think of me as sociable. Fortune-telling is arbitrary. If everyone conformed to their horoscope, there would only be twelve types of personalities. Blood type would result in only four types, if you believe in such predictions. "So, do you believe in horoscopes, Sendai-san?" "I only believe the good parts." She smiles warmly and takes a sip of her tea. We continue engaging in trivial or perhaps meaningful conversations until our mugs are empty. After having a second cup, I eventually stand up. "I'm going back to my room." I say as I clear away my mug and then Sendai-san approaches me. "Miyagi." She calls me softly, taking my hand. Then, she presses her lips to my fingertips. Since I allowed it once, she has taken to kissing my hand when I leave the room after dinner. Sometimes she simply grazes it with her lips, other times she licks my fingers or the back of my hand. However she touches me, it's not as though I've given her permission to continue indefinitely. But I don't have a reason to stop her either, so I let her do as she likes. It's not a big deal. We've done this countless times before, and now Sendai-san does it unprompted. Something moist is pressed against the first joint of my finger. It seems she doesn't intend to stop with just a kiss today. The warmth of her tongue is felt more distinctly than her lips, moving toward the second joint. The sensation of my fingers getting damp connects back to the memory of Sunday. It's fine. It's okay. A small sound is made as she kisses the space between my first and second joints. Her tongue touches my finger again. Feeling like my hand is getting hotter than Sendai-san’s body temperature, I tug on her bangs. "That's enough." When I say that, Sendai-san kisses the back of my hand before lifting her face. It's at times like these that I feel the distance between Sendai-san and me. It was me who first created the distance by running away from here. Before I could close that gap myself, Sendai-san came to meet me. This time, I thought I would try to bridge the gap I had created by spending more time together, but I find myself questioning if what I'm doing is the right approach. It feels as though I'm inadvertently increasing the distance. In the past, if it were the usual Sendai-san, she wouldn’t stop at just kissing my hand. The fact that she stops at awkward moments makes me more aware of how things have changed. If we wish to keep things as they were before, then on occasions like this, she should continue as she used to. Ever since returning from Maika's house, Sendai-san feels unnecessarily hesitant. I turn away from Sendai-san and head back to my room. In front of the black cat on the bookshelf, I gaze intently at my own hand. Nothing changes just because Sendai-san touched it. It's simply my hand. I press my lips to my fingers. The sensation is different from when Sendai-san touched them. I take a tissue from the top of the crocodile tissue holder and wipe my fingers before sprawling out on the bed.