188 - Story About Buying My Classmate Once A Week

Chapter 188 Wait until I say it's okay. Sendai-san has yet to break the promise sworn to my earrings. She's merely on the verge of breaking it. If I express the reason for not wanting to be with her, it would count as keeping the promise. But, unfortunately, I lack a compelling reason strong enough to render Sendai-san "unable to do anything." Since she said, "If there's no reason, just make one up," theoretically, I could fabricate one. But creating a reason capable of stopping her is easier said than done. "Miyagi, what's your reason?" "...Sendai-san, you once said you don't need a reason to kiss. In that case, I shouldn't need a reason to not want to either." Before I can think of or create a valid reason, I'm pressed to answer, causing me to utter a justification that I know won't satisfy Sendai-san. "That kind of reason won't stop me from doing anything, you know?" Sendai-san gently strokes my arm exposed from my T-shirt. Her soft hand glides smoothly along my skin, touching my upper arm delicately. "Is it okay?" Her voice is kind as she asks, but it's clear she doesn’t intend to wait for my reply as her lips press against my neck. They attach, detach, and attach again. The hand that was stroking my arm slips beneath the hem of my T-shirt before I can capture it, fingers grazing my side, and she nibbles sweetly at my neck. This isn't good. There's no way continuing this is right, but her hand stirs inside my T-shirt and the feel of her lips against my neck steals my thoughts. I'm unable to come up with a reason robust enough to convince her. The hand creeping along my side settles on my chest. Not wanting my expression to be seen, I'm conflicted about pulling Sendai-san closer. This room is way too bright. Everything I want to keep hidden is in plain view. Ideally, I'd prefer the lights off, but I doubt Sendai-san would turn them off for me, and I can't bring myself to do it either. If so, I would rather draw her in and disappear from her sight. But drawing her in would seem like granting permission. The hand on my chest begins to move slowly. Her fingers trace the outline as if to confirm its shape, softly caressing. They pause over my chest's center, and I find myself responding to the touch. My body is reacting the same way Sendai-san's did when I touched her chest, and I know she realizes that. Yet, not wanting her to see, I capture her hand through the fabric. The hand that grabs me presses more firmly against my chest, refusing to let go. It was as if she was telling me what was happening at the center of what she was touching, and my cheeks grew hot. I looked away from Sendai-san. "Stop." I can't look at her face now. "What's the reason?" I have no answer to her question. She nibbles my ear. Her breaths sap the strength needed to push her away. "If you can’t say it, just let it continue." Her whisper at my ear weakens me. The hand I clasped escapes to freely roam over my chest. Fingers deliberately rub a place clearly reacting to her touch. Her fingers make the spot tingle as though it's charged with electricity. I bite my lip hard. I want to stop Sendai-san's hand, but my attention is drawn to the spot where her fingers are touching. A feeling arises that I don't want to put into words. Despite the air conditioning, the room feels hot, and my breathing turns erratic. "Doesn't it feel good?" Sendai-san attempts to draw out the emotions I'm trying to look away from, and I want to deny it immediately. But when I open my mouth, I fear the words will betray me, so I keep it shut. "Tell me, Miyagi." The hand on my chest and her whisper in my ear swirl around in my mind. At some point, Sendai-san's hands began to easily destroy my sanity. The walls that were supposed to reject her crumbled away, letting her in. It was scary, and I desperately wanted to run away, but it felt good, and I couldn't help but pick up my crumbled sanity, as I felt like I was no longer myself. If I wasn't able to protect myself, I would be too scared to be by Sendai-san's side. Thus, I piece back together my reason like a puzzle, restoring it to its original place, reconstructing my usual self. I hold my breath, releasing it slowly. Grasping Sendai-san's hand over my clothes, I meet her gaze and voice whatever fragment of reason I muster. "...No." "If it's a no, then give me a reason." Our eyes meet. Her patient, expressionless eyes fixate intently on me. "It's too bright, everything's visible." I glare at Sendai-san, peeling her hand off my body and pushing it outside my clothing. "But I want to see Miyagi." "I don't want to be seen." "Is that your only reason?" I'm aware it doesn't suffice as an excuse to stop her, but I can't find any other reason. As I fall silent, she grabs my hand. "If you're embarrassed to be seen, you could just cover my eyes." She uses my hand to cover her eyes, adding, "Now I can't see." "This isn't what I meant." I respond firmly, retracting my hand. However, she tightens her grip instead of letting go, attempting to pull me back. "Do you dislike being touched? If so, you can touch me too." My hand is placed firmly on her chest. The warmth through the shirt isn't enough. I want to touch more. Like that time when I touched Sendai-san—. No, she's attempting to mislead me. It's not simply about disliking being the only one touched. We were talking about something entirely different, yet because of her antics, I find myself wanting to touch her more. "Doesn't this make it even?" "It's not even." "Miyagi, if you want to touch directly, you can. I'll be touching you too." Guided by Sendai-san, my hand finds its way inside her T-shirt, and once again, I'm close to being misled. As my hand rests under her chest, the speed at which I repair my crumbling reason lags. The warmth in my palm feels soothing, and I wrap my hand around her back. Stroking the smooth skin and sliding my fingers upward, I encounter the bra clasp, hearing, "You can unhook it." My heart pounds as though it's doubled in size. I unhook it and touch her skin directly. The present and the past overlap. How I wished then I hadn't turned off the lights. I wanted to see her expression, to understand it. Now I can see her face. When I call "Sendai-san," she meets my gaze. Her cheeks are flushed, and my name, "Miyagi," spills gently from her slightly parted lips. Sendai-san's hand touches my skin directly. Her fingers trace my chest slowly as though exploring its texture, and her palm presses against me as if sealing its warmth. Although her hand is warm, my body feels even hotter, and a breath escapes. Her hand fits so snugly it seems it might never peel away. Breathing became difficult, and my desire for more of Sendai-san grew stronger, prompting me to wrap my arms around her back and pull her closer. Her lips landed on my neck, gently lapping at the skin. In a far corner of my mind, a fragment of my suppressed reason flickered. Even though I had pulled her in, I still felt the need to stop her. I needed to quickly find a reason to halt her exploration of my body, but the heat slipping in made it elusive. My emotions were swayed by the hands that never ceased their wandering over my body. Amidst the crumbling shreds of my reason, something emerged that I did not wish to see. It was something I had turned away from for a long time. Deep within my heart, a part of me that no one— not even myself— could see was trying to surface. I had always turned away from it. Making sure it was shielded from the light, returning any sprouting buds back to the soil before they could fully bloom. What was it? Even coming to terms with it likely wouldn’t serve as a good enough reason to stop her. Sendai-san's hand caressed my side and moved downward. Unsure of what to do next, I called out to her. "Is it just today?" "What do you mean by just today?" "Is this kind of thing something that only happens today?" "I want to do it again and again from now on." When I grabbed her hand, she pressed it flat against my hipbone. "This isn't what roommates do." If this repeats several times, I feel like I'd become unable to separate from Sendai-san, just as her hand couldn’t separate from my hip. If we ended up bonded so closely, tearing apart would surely hurt deeply. I couldn't imagine enduring that pain. "...Do you not want to be anything more than roommates, Miyagi?" Though I wish nothing would change, Sendai-san seems eager to transform. Into something more than just roommates. Into something different from what we are now. I understand remaining the same isn't possible. But I can't match Sendai-san's pace. "...Can we stay as roommates, for now?" I'm finally growing comfortable in our role as roommates, changing it suddenly would be unsettling. I can't keep up with Sendai-san's speed. Sometimes I need to pause, struggle to move my feet, and can only progress so slowly that I end up wanting to give up on pursuing the ever-distant Sendai-san if she goes too fast. The thought of Sendai-san disappearing somewhere is unbearable. That's why I wish she would slow down a bit. "Sendai-san." I clutch her clothes. She exhales softly. "Alright. For now, being roommates is fine. I'll stop here." Sendai-san withdraws her hands from my body. And then, she looks directly at me. "So, Miyagi. – Praise me." Her unsteady voice reaches me, and I instinctively caress her hair and gently stroke her head. "...Thank you." I doubt these are the words Sendai-san wanted to hear, yet I find no others. I run my fingers through her long, untied hair, studying her quietly. "That doesn't really sound like praise, but it's okay." Sendai-san spoke in her usual voice, then sat up and began adjusting her disheveled clothes. I turned my back to her, fastening the undone clasp. "I'm heading back to my room today." I turned toward the voice coming from behind me. "You said it's a sleepover." The words slipped out inadvertently, prompting a flustered response from Sendai-san. "...Is testing my patience a hobby of yours, Miyagi?" "That's not my intention, but you're the one who swore by the earrings, and you're the one who suggested the sleepover." I realize I'm being a bit selfish. But I want Sendai-san nearby. Though terrified that everything might change if I accept everything, I'm equally scared if she chooses to leave my side. "Sendai-san." I tug at her T-shirt as she tries to leave the room. Still, she doesn't relent, and when I pull strongly, the fabric stretches, causing Sendai-san to plop down onto the floor. "Miyagi. I'm not lying when I say I'll wait, but I don't think I can wait forever. I've realized that a lot of things are no good." "Don't give up." "It's okay, I'll sleep quietly tonight." "Are you really going to sleep?" "I'm going to bed now. Miyagi, you can stay awake." With that, Sendai-san removed my hand that held her T-shirt and lay on the bed without asking permission. "That's my bed." "You coax me to stay, only to tell me to sleep on the floor?" She smiled sweetly, handing over the tablet that had been on the bed, leaving me no choice but to accept it and place it on the table. I exhaled deeply, when suddenly the power to the lights cut off, and darkness enveloped the room. "Are you still awake, Miyagi?" "I'm going to sleep." After nudging Sendai-san towards the wall, I turned my back to her and lay down on the bed. Closing my eyes, I felt her embrace, pressing snugly against me. My entire back became Sendai-san's, and I could feel the softness of her chest and her breathing. A clash of comfort and discomfort. Those contradictory feelings mingled, compelling me to complain. Yet before I could, Sendai-san spoke softly. "This is my reward for holding back earlier." Her insistence was gentle, leaving me with nothing to say. I don't know what lies ahead for us. I only wish for this moment to last forever. Precisely because we can't remain the same forever, for now, I want to lean into Sendai-san's kindness and keep feeling her warmth by my side. I grasped the hand she wrapped around me. I hope that tomorrow is a continuation of today. I silently wished as I closed my eyes.