95 - Upki Girl

< Absolutely Safe (1) - 19+ Content Warning. It's Okay to Skip - > What? Today’s good? Does this blasted info screen take me for some pauper? They tell me to stop, then turn around and act like they’re doing me a favor. Do I look like a pushover to you? Am I your puppet? Your slave? Stop trying to control my life. ―Beep, beep, beep "That’ll be seventeen thousand five hundred won." It's been ages since I last bought condoms. I had no idea what I was doing, so I went for the priciest one, at six thousand won. The convenience store clerk duo was comprised of a young man and a woman, and of course, the young woman ended up assisting me. Though she scanned the barcode without batting an eye, I couldn't help but blush. "We accept cards. Would you like a receipt?" "No, I'm fineh. Ahem, hm!" Damn. My voice cracked. "Take careh. Hm! Hm!" It cracked again. Trying to mask my embarrassment with adult nonchalance only made my voice falter more. Why is it so awkward buying something I'm paying for with my own money? Had I known it’d be this awkward, I would've ordered online. Yunho Kim, 35. Has it really come to this awkward middle-age where buying condoms feels so strange? Jaehee was sitting under the convenience store parasol with her hood drawn over her forehead. We were waiting for the designated driver to take us back to her apartment. "What'd you buy?" "Oh, some hangover drinks and coffee for the driver." "You're such a gentleman, looking out for the driver too." Not really. The coffee was just a decoy to make buying condoms less embarrassing. "Here, drink this." —Pop I handed her a bottle after opening the cap, but she scrunched her nose, saying she doesn’t usually drink stuff like this. "Then, would you like some coffee?" "But that's for the driver." "You can offer the driver one of these instead, just in case, right? What if he drives under the influence?" I was obviously joking, and she giggled. Then she scolded me for sticking with formal speech. "You switched to casual speech with Suhyun right away. Am I making you uncomfortable?" "Of course not." "Then why?" "Umm... maybe because I consider you... special? I want to cherish our—" "Wow, that was pretty smooth for something off the cuff." "Well, it became a habit. And using formal speech feels special sometimes, doesn’t it?" "You're cute." "Being called cute at my age isn't exactly a compliment..." But I didn't mind. "Who cares about age when it comes to being cute? Even my grandparents are cute. They still hold hands when they walk." "Okay, that does sound cute. I'd like to grow old like that too." "You'd like to, huh?" "This world doesn't make it easy." "When was your last relationship again?" "Over three years ago." "Not even a crush in that time?" "Well, there was this almost-thing with a coworker, but it ended as just a drunken mistake." "...None." "Really? You paused too long." "Seriously, none." "What does ‘Singsing Girl’ say?" "She tells me to at least bring home some bossam. She wonders why I don't hit nightclubs and then says since I quit, she doesn't want me around until I become a trendsetter." "Ahaha, I love your mom. I'd really like to meet her." Could it be possible? Could Singsing Girl and Jaehee become in-laws? What face would my mom make if I introduced her as the future daughter-in-law who owns a building? She’d probably start breakdancing on the spot. Not long after, the driver arrived, and we headed to Jaehee's apartment. We sat in the back. Jaehee leaned her head on my shoulder. Our entwined fingers rested on my thigh. The driver seemed to be in his early forties, and though he might know of her from Flanel, Jaehee’s deeply draped furry hood kept her incognito. Plus, he didn’t seem to care. I inhaled deeply, imprinting Jaehee's scent into my olfactory memory. A captivating mix of alcohol and cosmetics clung to her. The warmth from her body radiated through my coat, yet there wasn’t any unpleasant odor. Thankfully, the lingering scent of the body cleanser I used in the morning remained. The car was filled with the smell of attraction. Our mutual consent to nurture our genes—a harmonious blend of biology. The unity of male and female, the natural symbiosis, a beautiful confluence. My heart pounded. I felt a stirring sensation. Tonight, it would happen for sure. The darn info screen gave the green light, so no obstacles remained. We were both consenting adults, unattached and free of obligations. Even if it ended as a one-night stand, there’d be no one to criticize. Let's go. Onward, boldly, to the lands of desire and pleasure. I fiddled with the small paper package in my coat pocket, using it like a totem to steady my breath. Yet, a worrying thought nagged at me. ...It’ll work, right? The morning wasn’t conclusive, and not reacting yet was a bit concerning, but surely, during the main event, things would come alive, right? I rarely smoke, and I’ve cut back on drinking. I’ve never had an issue before. Surely not now, not with someone like Jaehee in front of me. Absentmindedly, my gaze fell on her hands atop my thigh. Long and white. Traces of bluish veins visible on the back. The crescent-shaped red nail art at the tips of her nails, and the silver ring engraved with a ‘P’ on her index finger. It’s the friendship ring she matched with her Flanel bandmates, wasn't it? I never had fantasies about women’s hands, but oddly enough, this one seemed sensual. Wow. What is this involuntary reaction coming from below? My thighs were now sporting a noticeable bulge! Have I unlocked some new domain? Whatever the case, it's a relief. I am still alive. As tough as steel, I am alive. But is this okay…? If this somehow leads to dating Jaehee, what would I tell the kids? There's no issue with Numbers 3, 4, and 5. It's Numbers 1 and 2 that are the problem. They treat me as a man they’re interested in, consistently showing affection that I pretend not to notice but am fully aware of. If they found out about my entanglement with Jaehee, they’d be disappointed… Even though I’m not in a romantic bond with those two, I can’t shake off this misguided guilt. Maybe I shouldn’t? Maybe we should just hold hands till dawn? In this chaotic world, wouldn't that be a romantic gesture worth savoring? The courage to say “no” when others say “yes” to sex. The pride in cherishing and protecting Jaehee. Wouldn't that be admirable? Wouldn’t Jaehee be expecting that from me? "Oppa, I’m going to freshen up. Feel free to drink more if you like." "Oh, yes. Umm, should I freshen up in the living room bathroom?" "We don't use it that much, so there's no shampoo or anything there." "Oh, really…?" "I'll give you a toothbrush. Want to at least brush your teeth?" "Uh, sure? Please." Entering Jaehee's home for the second time. As soon as we were in, she lit a candle without much ado and declared her intent to shower. Whew, wheeew. We’ve nearly reached the tipping point. With the toothbrush kit Jaehee handed me, I headed to the living room bathroom. Staring at my reflection while brushing my teeth, I saw a man’s gaze smoldering with desire. Yet internally, my conscience was still at war. Do it? Don’t do it? Do it? Don’t do it? While Jaehee was showering in her bedroom, I sat in the living room’s comfort chair, checking the chat log shared with the kids. Current time 12:48 AM. If they were asleep, they’d at least let me know, but there was no word. In reality, there was little cause for concern. Though I was jittery, by now someone like Yeom, Cash, Jang-Woo, or Director Kim Sang-in would have reached out if anything was wrong. They might just be laughing amongst themselves, having forgotten about me. Wait, hold on! Damn that info screen! When it said ‘today is possible,’ it didn’t mean before midnight, right?! It’d better not mean things are void now that it's past midnight! I rechecked the info screen out of paranoia, but there was no mention of any restrictions. Therefore, it was genuinely okay. Trust it and move forward. Right. Jaehee had subtly suggested we get closer twice before, and each time, I had inadvertently rejected her due to that damn screen. For a woman to even hint at such a thing isn’t easy, and in her heart, she might have felt deeply embarrassed. If I don’t proceed today, having come this far only to shy away, it’d be akin to belittling her. Today, it's not just nice; it’s almost a moral obligation. Cast aside distractions. Be present in the moment. I decided to switch off my phone entirely and pocket it. "Oppa, time to wash up." "Yes!" I washed in Jaehee’s bathroom, still filled with steam, using her toiletries and a noticeably pink shower ball, likely the same one she'd just used. Her hair tangled around the shower ball, as if to flaunt itself. Alright, from every nook and cranny, even between the folds of my skin, I scrubbed with fervor like I was peeling layers away. Scrub! Scrub! Thinking of how Jaehee might have used this same shower ball, an inexplicable excitement coursed through me. Unbelievably, just like that, my second self was up and ready. You little rascal, truly alive. At this moment, every part of me pulsed with life and unity. "Oppa, just a second, I need to grab my phone." "Darn it!" I had my legs splayed as an ‘O’ while thoroughly scrubbing my nether regions when Jaehee waltzed into the bathroom. It seemed she forgot her phone. While I was safely in the shower booth hidden behind the curtain, the compromising posture I was in made me instinctively huddle up. "Wait. What are you washing with?" "Umm?" "Please tell me it's not the pink shower ball?" "Huh? But it is…" "Ah… that’s what the cleaning lady uses for scrubbing…." "Damn it! No wonder it was clogged with hair! And it felt kind of flimsy." "Hahaha! Here, use this one." A white hand slipped through the shower curtain, holding a taut, green shower ball. I felt an insane urge to grab that hand and yank her in to indulge fervently. But first, with the green shower ball foamed up, I imagined lovingly caressing her between the chest and thighs, tenderly teasing the start before moving to the main act—a position celebrated in the romantic escapade narrative, the bathroom fling. Her torso and chest would press against the glass booth, unleashing a torrent of thrilling actions. Of course, these were hopes veiled within a daydream, beyond my experiences and daring. "I’ve left some comfortable clothes on the towel rack." "Yes, yes!" Starting afresh, I scrubbed thoroughly before stepping out into the room. Jaehee, clad in an ivory microfiber bathrobe, stood directly at the vanity just outside the bathroom, blow-drying her hair. Her toes, adorned in fuzzy slippers, tapped gently, revealing tantalizing glimpses of her plush heels and slender Achilles tendons, drawing my gaze. Her calves were as sleek and smooth as if meticulous soldiers had worked tirelessly overnight. The thought of them soon draping over my arm led to yet another transformation in my second self. Fortunately, my snug underwear concealed any evidence. “You seem to read a lot?” “Not that much, just whenever I have a moment before bed or when I wake up.” I noticed the pile of books stacked beside her bed the last time I was here. Like decorative accents, they ranged from self-help, classic literature, to beauty. I even spotted drama scripts and movie screenplays, including those from released works. "Have you read all these books?" "I've read all the ones I bought. There’re a lot of gifts that aren’t my taste which I haven’t touched." By her pillow was a book marked with a bookmark, suggesting her current read. Paulo Coelho's "Eleven Minutes." I remember reading this in college. While I forget most of its plot, I recall it touches on the sacredness of sexuality. I opened to the middle where the bookmark lay and found highlighted passages. "I love this man before me. I do not own him, nor does he own me. We freely give ourselves to one another..." Loving without possession, huh? That would be nice. The atmosphere between us was already cascading toward sensuality. Jaehee, her brown hair half-dried, with a languid expression as if wordlessly announcing ‘I’m going to sleep now,’ turned off the room light and switched on a soft orange lamp. Then she nestled into her bed covers, lying flat. She closed her eyes. Half of the bed was empty. Gulp. As I tentatively moved to join her, it hit me—condoms! My coat was left in the living room. As I was about to head out, Jaehee abruptly opened her eyes and asked in a slightly urgent tone. "Where are you going?" "Oh, uh... just grabbing something..." “What. Your phone?” "No, uh..." “You're staying over, right?” “Huh? Uh... I guess I am?” With a hint of suspicion and mischief, Jaehee gave me a look that carried a tinge of pity. “Just to be sure, you’re not into men or anything, right...?” "No, I really like women." “Or maybe you have some kind of trauma?” “In what aspect...?” “Well, you know, in bed or anything...?” Damn. Is that how I came across? Jaehee was noticing it too. I needed to strongly convey that wasn’t the case. Confidently, I declared my intentions. “I bought condoms earlier at the convenience store. I was just going to get them. I’m not just leaving tonight.” Jaehee burst into laughter, muffling her face with the blanket. After a hearty laugh, she waved her hand dismissively and said: “Oh, that’s hilarious. It’s okay, just come here.” What? Does that mean condoms aren’t needed? Why? Wasn’t tonight meant for that? Was I just getting ahead of myself? With a sultry whisper, Jaehee, her eyes half-lidded, revealed: “Today, I’m completely safe…” End of < Absolutely Safe (1) - 19+ Content Warning. It's Okay to Skip - >