100 - Upki Girl

<Opening, <Girl Crush>> A week later, at the dorm. Everyone gathered to watch episode 2 of ‘Raised Idol Group’, titled <Manager, Manager, Our Manager>. The kids were having the time of their lives during the segment where I gave individual critiques to each member after the prank section had ended. The real-time comments, primarily from the Uppy Girl fandom, were also hilarious and entertaining. It didn’t come off as cringy and hit just the right amount of whimsy, resonating well with the audience. Now, only my video letter to the girls remained to be watched. Writer Um Seung-mi asked me a question. "Any final words you want to say to the members?" "Um…" “Ugh, why’s my expression like that? I got way too serious all of a sudden.” I murmured, embarrassed at seeing my face on screen, but the kids were already looking serious. Hey, no, don’t get too absorbed. It was embarrassing to realize it now, though I hadn’t noticed it at the time. I couldn’t bear to watch any more and sprang up from my seat. "Where are you going? Don’t run away!" Seo-won caught hold of my sleeve. "I really need the bathroom." "Suddenly? Right at this crucial moment?" "There’s no timing for the bathroom. You go when you’ve gotta go." Eun-bit eyed me suspiciously. "Freeze. You didn’t say anything weird, did you?" I confessed frankly. "No, it’s just unbearably cringy thinking about it now. I can’t watch it myself. You guys watch it." "I want to hear it. All the cringy stuff the manager says…" At Yona’s comment, Riya chimed in. "Yololo and cringiness don’t mix, man. That’s why I want to hear it even more." In the meantime, on-screen Kim Yunho was beginning to speak with an intensely serious face that was hard to watch. "Guys…" Argh! Just that one word made goosebumps run all over my body. "Ah, this is so awkward... hahaha." "Eek! It’s not me; it’s a demon! Everyone, cover your ears!" I tried to shake off Seo-won’s arm and escape, but— "Where do you think you’re going!" "Ugh!" Eun-bit clutched my legs instantly. Ever since she started learning jiu-jitsu from YouTube, she’s been constantly pinning people down or jumping on them. "Ugh, for a wannabe!" "How dare you! That’s an insult to Gracie!" "Who even is that!" A wannabe’s a wannabe; she’s just a girl. I managed to pry off the squeezing hold of Eun-bit Gracie's arms with some brute force. "Uchaa!" "Argh, how can a guy use his strength so unfairly!" After shaking off the sloth-like Eun-bit, I tried to make a quick getaway, but— "What!" What’s this enormous strength! Suddenly, a different kind of pressure clamped down where Eun-bit had been holding me. It felt like I was ensnared by an anaconda. "Nice, Hong-hong unnie!" I turned around to find Hong-yi, hugging my lower body like she was holding onto a tree trunk. It was unbelievable strength for a girl. Trying to pull out one leg, I lost my balance and toppled forward, ending up on my knees in a push-up position. From behind, Hong-yi coiled around my torso like doing a submission hold. It seemed like she, not Eun-bit, had learned jiu-jitsu. "Hey, have you been working out lately? How is a girl so strong?" "Why do you keep trying to run away?" "It’s too cringy to watch! I must have been possessed by something briefly." "Gosh, that just makes me more curious. Let's watch together." Pinned down in a mating dog position by Hong-yi, I inadvertently turned my head toward the screen showing the broadcast on the projector. "Ahem, let me start over. Hi there, guys. It’s Manager Kim Yunho." "Ugh... Did I really say that? It’s horrendous, horrendous. Please, let me go, Hong-ah..." "Pfft, Manager sounds like an elementary school kid giving a presentation." "Let! Me! Go!" In a desperate twist to escape the red-haired hell, I momentarily surged with strength, but oops! Instead, I ended up flat on my back, with Hong-yi mounting my stomach in a full mount position. Neuge Hong secured my torso between her sturdy thighs like an expert. Her grappling skills were impressive enough to make even Georges St-Pierre weep. She then crossed my arms in an X shape, rendering me like a Tutankhamen mummy discovered in Egypt after 3,000 years. Not only did she possess impressive non-feminine strength, but her techniques were so clean and swift that I had no opening to counterattack. I tried to squirm and bounce, but only succeeded in creating inappropriate, suggestive postures. As Eun-bit the cicada assisted, pinning my legs, she held my calves with her hands and pressed her chest against my knees. Smiling down at me with amusement, Hong-yi tickled my cheeks with her flowing hair. What was this fierce, seductive air I sensed from Neuge Hong? Hong-ah, when did you become such an enchanting woman...Lu, Lukaku pretending to be a woman all of a sudden! "Hong-ah, get off me while I’m being polite. I’m seriously getting angry." "Aww, our manager looks so lovely just staying still like this." "Aren’t you... tired?" "I am." Liar. Not even a breath is unsteady for someone who's tired? Finding her serene face unnervingly terrifying, but what made me cringe more was the voice of Kim Yunho from the screen. "Our Uppy Girls, you’ve done really great so far, haven’t you?" Cheesy, unbearably cheesy! I was dying to reverse the chart ranking out of sheer longing! “…Just kill me. Please just kill me, Hong-ah…” "Aww, Manager, Seo-won said she’d die with you if you die." "Then put us both out of our misery." "Ah... Manager, that line was killer. So thrilling… Hong-ah, then let’s go die together with the Manager." Crazy Han Seo-won, stop liking it so much! "Hey, everyone, quiet down! I can’t hear anything!" In the midst of the chaos, the leader who had been silently focused on the screen finally exploded in anger. Instantly, the living room fell silent. All attention was now on my face displayed on the screen. Unable to face it directly, I closed my eyes. But there was no stopping the cringe-worthy and awkward voice that made me break out in a cold sweat. "I have something I really want to tell you. It's okay if you don’t get first on music shows or line up on the music charts. You guys just love singing and dancing, right? You all know how grateful and precious that is, right? So let’s not worry about rankings and just keep enjoying ourselves, laughing and chatting like we do now. And don’t get sick. Got it?" "Ah… This is really cheesy..." I braced myself for ridicule and admitted it had been a poor decision... What? Instead of laughter, the living room was filled with quiet gasps and sniffles. Opening my eyes, I saw everyone wiping tears and covering their mouths, lips and cheeks trembling. "What’s up with you guys? Did you get emotional?" "…Manager, don’t get sick either…" "Ugh! Hong-ah, you're suffocating me…" "Sniff… Oppa…" "Hey, hey, Yoon Eun-bit! Watch where you’re burying your face! Ugh!" Hong and Eun-bit, who were each clinging to my upper and lower body, started squeezing closer, followed by the other three piling on top, pressing down on me. "Whiiing! I’ll do better!" "Sniff, even if we’re trending before we die, we should at least get a number 1 hit..." "Yololo is so moving these days, Ally almost cried, y’know." Just when I thought it was over, the finale unfolded. "Ah, this is so awkward. I'm done here. Hahaha…" "Just one last thing, tell the members you love them and make a finger heart." "Ah, writer. I’m really not good at things like that!" "Aww, but the members say they love you and can’t live without the manager, showing all kinds of aegyo. Just once, for the sake of the show. Do it for Uppy Girl." "Guys, I love you. Is it good now?" "Ah, come on, that’s not it. Put your heart into it." "Ha… Eun-bit, Seo-won, Yona, Yeon-hong, Riya. You know I think about you all a lot, right? Let’s continue to get through tough times by supporting each other, okay? Love you!" "Wheee, it doesn’t suit you, making finger hearts!" Even Ally burst into tears at the —out of nowhere— heartwarming point. Now, they were all huddled together, sobbing loudly. "Let's do well, let's really do well." "Sniff, sniff, Ally, you know that I really love the sisters, right?" "Of course, I love you too!" "Hong-ah, I’ve been so sorry for everything until now. I promise I won’t do it again…" "Forget it, I don’t believe you, you fool!" "Really, I mean it…" "Let’s all sleep together tonight, okay?" "Yeah, we haven’t slept together in ages." "I missed the sound of Hong-hong unnie snoring…" "I also missed Riya groping around in her sleep." I wonder how much they’ll cringe from this the following morning. Without joining in, I quietly made my way upstairs to my room. As expected. The next morning, every single one of them awoke with swollen faces, reluctantly facing an awkward breakfast. *** Two days later. It was the day of the final preliminaries and the first filming with producer mentors for the female rapper battle ‘Girl Crush’, which Yona and Hong-i were participating in. Originally, only Yona had been scouted. However, Manager Kim Sang-in offered conditional pay to include Hong-i as well. The condition was that if Hong-i didn’t make it to the quarterfinals, she wouldn’t receive an appearance fee. A total of about 200 female rappers, both professionals and amateurs, participated, and Yona and Hong-i easily advanced to the final preliminaries, where 32 would be selected. However, this was essentially a showcase, as the 32 had already been pre-selected by the production team. Unfortunately, the remaining hopefuls were likely to be eliminated, no matter how well they performed. Out of the 32 final contestants, only 16 could proceed to the main round. Four producer mentors would directly judge and each select four mentees. Jang-woo drove the Carnival van to the Sangam Studio, where the final preliminary was to be held. I sat in the passenger seat, with Yona, Hong, and the enthusiast guest Ally in the back seat. The most excited person at this moment wasn’t Riya, Hong-i, or Yona. It was road manager Jang-woo. As a fan of hip-hop music, he frequently attended shows and knew a lot about not only the current rappers but also the first-generation rappers from the mid-90s onwards. "Who would you like Yeon-hong to be in a team with?" Jang-woo asked with an excited tone, and Hong-i replied with a lack of confidence. "I-I’d be grateful to be picked by anyone…" "And Yona?" "I’d be relieved to be in any team. Ah…" "Hey, don’t worry. You both will pass the preliminaries. Even if I’m tone-deaf, I’ve got a good ear for listening. You both will make it to the main round: Yona to the quarterfinals, and Hong-i to the semifinals." "Th-thank you." "I really hope it turns out like that." In the past, Riya might have interjected around now with a "Bbam, our sisters need to control their condition, so tell Jang-woo to zip it," but Riya had changed. Instead, she directly spoke to Jang-woo. "Mr. Lee, who do you think the sisters would match well with?" "Hmm… Yeon-hong would go well with Jakdu, and Yona seems like a good fit for Dante." "Oh, I see. I don’t know much about hip-hop, but in my eyes, our sisters are the best." Why even ask if that’s how you feel? Soon after, they arrived at the Sangam recording studio. For reasons unknown, the production team had gathered all 32 contestants in one area and sent all the managers and staff outside. It seemed like the production team was thoroughly prepared to grab viewers' attention early on. The brief glimpses I caught of the contestants suggested they weren't ordinary by any means. <Opening, <Girl Crush>> End