105 - Upki Girl

< Shibakkobugi Get Out > In every group, there's always that one member who embodies the 'ice princess' persona, commonly coined as the 'cold beauty'. Typically, the company assigns this concept, but if someone naturally possesses a stoic or aloof personality, their image organically solidifies through fan perception. Due to this disposition, their interaction with fans may appear limited compared to others. However, there's a surprising number of fans who gravitate towards this image, often placing these members among the top in popularity rankings. Han Saem of Lizy Girl, who often contends for the top spot in individual brand evaluations, and Ryu Jin, a face genius from Charming Carpet and one of the current top three visual members, are quintessential 'cold beauty' examples. In our group, Upki Girl, Seowon occupies this role. Up until now, the most intense form of fan interaction she's granted has been a handshake—a simple clasp rather than interlocking fingers like Yona might. Seowon's fans are so thrilled even with this minimal contact that the aftershock of her recent hug performance was inevitably intense. After her game partner shouted, "I hit the jackpot!" and returned to their place, other fans couldn't hide their excitement, as if it happened to them. "Wow, that was some serious fanservice." "Are Seoducks finally getting their heart-stopping GIF moment?" "Isn't this the first time for Seowon noona? She must have really hated the punishment." While everyone was voicing their opinions, one female student hit the nail on the head. "I think she's reacting this way because of her school bullying trauma. I was ostracized briefly in middle school, and to this day, I still hate being punished in front of crowds. It feels like public humiliation." Those acquainted with Seowon's personality, including our company staff and members, already suspected as much. Seowon tends to take even light-hearted jokes defensively if she feels attacked. She might interpret fans' reactions to her punishment outfit as ridicule or aggression. Like the student suggested, this could be the aftermath of past school bullying trauma. Despite continuous therapy, it wasn't something that healed overnight. Even if Seowon got a punishment, the members would have made sure to keep it mild. Nonetheless, Seowon chose not to evade but to tackle it head-on, even if it meant breaking her own identity. The members were the most surprised by this unexpected turn of events from the second biggest underdog. Though unspoken, everyone probably pegged Seowon for the lower tiers, so seeing her scoring high on her first try left them dumbfounded. "What the heck, why is Seowon unnie trying so hard?! How is a score of 76 even possible? Was there a mistake?" Yona's cute complaint echoed through the mic, amusing the fans. Seowon lowered her mic to privately confess. "I hate wearing weird clothes in front of fans." "But what's Gollum? I've heard of it but…" As Eunbich tilted her head in confusion, Aliyah confidently answered. "You know, that green monster from Disney animation? Something trash-related? Cream puffs? It had a name like that." If you're unsure, just stay quiet. Come to think of it, it's commendable that Seowon even knows about Gollum. The first Lord of the Rings movie came out the year Riyah was born, and the others were probably still toddlers. The generational gap really shows. At least Hong managed to correct one thing. "The green monster Riyah's talking about is Shrek, isn't it? That was my nickname back in elementary school." Not even Fiona, calling a girl Shrek, you devils. And Hong, why are you broadcasting that like it's something to be proud of? I subtly warned him through ventriloquism. "Hong, your mic, your mic…" "Ah…" As fans who didn't know Old Hong buzzed with Shrek? Shrek?, Eunbich seamlessly continued the game. With a playful demeanor, she strutted to the center stage. "The second contestant of Heart-pounding Revolution is me! Come on in!" The venue buzzed with excitement as Yu Eunbich, Upki Girl's official fangirl, entry recruiter, and a top contender for victory, made her appearance. Would she be able to quell the underdog's rebellion? "Me, Candidate No. 2 Yu Eunbich! I'll take responsibility for your hearts and give them a good thrashing! Don't hesitate to put your hands up if you want to play with me!" Over a dozen hopefuls raised their hands, and Eunbich selected the participant who had traveled the farthest. A 26-year-old man from Busan, who was introduced to idol fandom by Eunbich and rode the KTX for the first time. "Come up on stage!" "Yay!" The man, evidently lively like a Eunbich fan, expressed his joy with a Cristiano Ronaldo-style celebration, prompting Eunbich to counter with two Taekkyon kicks after a long time. "Ik-heh! Ek-heh!" Followed by some classic self-deprecation celebration. "Are you a fan of mine?" "Yes, I wasn't interested in singers or anything, but I became a fan after watching your show." "What do you think my charm is?" "Cuteness?" "Like a Bagel Girl?" "No, you're just cute." "Anything other than being a Bagel Girl?" "Your tone when you sing is amazing." "You mean my tone is sexy?" "Pardon? Oh, yes..." "What else is there besides a Bagel Girl with a sexy tone?" "Hmm..." "That's it?" "No, your, um, personality is good too." "No, no, not that. You know, someone who's cute in everyday life but sexy and alluring on stage, with smoldering eyes or something like that." "Yes…?" An interview famously known as a "Pre-determined Sexy Answer." The answer's set, so just say I'm sexy. Eunbich's audacious demand for sexy compliments is notorious among fans, but seeing it for the first time left the Busan man visibly flustered. Sick of the repetitious sexy propaganda, the audience united in booing. "Boo!" "Give it a rest, you sexy psycho!" "One Yon-na sexy is enough for Upki Girl!" "There's Hong-na sexy too!" “In my eyes, our Gumiho is the sexiest! Love you, Han Seowon!” “Dance Riya is the real winner!” Honestly, you have to give credit to Yu Eunbich's ability to stir things up. Her name was the only one not mentioned, but she continued her spiel with the defiant expression of a hearing witness maintaining their innocence. "Alright, let's move on to the heart-pounding revolution between the sexy charisma of Upki Girl, Yu Eunbich, and our Busan oppa! But before that, let's give a big round of applause for Upki Girl's sixth member and today's impartial judge, Director Poompaengpaeng! Applause!" ―(Clapping sound) Using me as bait to divert attention, what a sly one. I held out a smartphone toward the Busan guy’s chest. "Just place your finger on the lens part." “Um, are we starting right away?” At his words, Eunbich nodded with a determined look. As anticipation builds for her next move, the man pressed his finger to the lens. “Pressing start now. Go!” Given Eunbich's history, one would assume she'd go for another overly suggestive appeal, but she unexpectedly switched gears to a display of cuteness. Wearing a naive expression, she mumbled with a half-broken tongue. "Oppa, I'm kkongkkoddo. Kissing kkongkkoddo. I'm scared now." Cute, cute. This is top-level cute overload. Separately from the cringing, it was admittedly adorable. However, the critical issue was that the Busan guy seemed unfamiliar with the reference. He stammered hesitantly, unable to figure out how to respond. “Ah, uh… I see…” Eunbich, flustered by his lukewarm reaction, asked, “You don’t know ‘kissing kkongkkoddo’?” “Uh? Oh… sorry. I don’t usually follow these things…” After ten seconds, his heartbeat rate stood at a mere 11. A far cry from topping Seowon's record of 76, it barely reached the average. At this rate, she was definitely heading for a major defeat. “Uh…” In a desperate move, Eunbich resorted to copying Seowon’s hug strategy. "Just hug, go for a hug!" “What? All of a sudden?” “Quickly, quickly!” “Yes, yes…” Even then, they were out of sync, wasting precious time awkwardly flailing their arms in the same direction. “No, I'll hug your shoulders, so you wrap your arms around my waist!” “I think I should be the one doing it since I'm taller...” “Oh, is that so? Then, you hug me.” “But I’m sweating a bit due to nerves, so under my arms it's…” “Ahhh, it doesn’t matter, just hug already, you silly thing!” But the Busan guy was hesitant for a reason. In truth, there was indeed an odor from him. Unfortunately, he’d taken off his parka before coming on stage, making his sweaty underarms too embarrassing to bring close to Eunbich. He awkwardly placed his hand on her shoulder, and unable to bear his passive stance, Eunbich finally erupted. “Gah! I'm telling you to hug, why can't you manage that! Do you not know what a hug is? Come closer! Pull me in! Tightly! Tightly!” Though Eunbich advanced, the Busan guy, his face the color of a red crab, kept retreating, reminiscent of Mayweather's shoulder roll, refusing to close the gap. Amusement spread across the faces of recording fans. “Look, another iconic shot?” “As expected, it’s exactly as we thought.” “An intense distance battle between infighter and outfighter.” 27, 28, 29… “Time's up! Thirty seconds! You two can separate now!” “Nooo!” Eunbich stomped in frustration, and the man, overwhelmed with embarrassment, couldn't meet anyone’s gaze. “I’m really sorry. Bbut I think my heart was definitely pounding fast…” “Really? What’s the score, oppa?” Eunbich looked at me with a flicker of hope, but it was dashed within a second. Guess Shibakkobugi should step away for now. “Forty.” “Ahh, total failure!” “Yu Eunbich scoring at forty!” “Ah… I’m sorry…” While Eunbich's reaction contrasted her partner’s, excitement spiked among the audience, and I added some fuel. “Yu Eunbich with a score of 40 from the proposed game! Out of two teams, she’s dead last! A solid last place! Punishment confirmed!” “Agh, I get it, okay, stop that!” Her playful protest was another comedic setup. Despite her flustered response drawing waves of laughter, Eunbich, reverting to her usual playful self, handed her prepared gift to the partner with thanks. “Here’s a voucher for a stay and a meal at Oscar Hotel, take your girlfriend out. I hear there's an Oscar Hotel in Busan too.” “Uh, but I don’t have a girlfriend…” “Cease fire! He’s one of ours!” “Haha, I’ll give it to my parents instead.” “Alright then, when you do get a girlfriend, make sure to visit. I’ll give you another one then.” “Thank you. Eunbich, you really are sexy.” “You’re finally realizing it. Who’s sexier, Yon-na unnie or me?” “Of course, Eunbich is. The world’s most dazzling sexy charisma!” “Hahhhahahah!” He likes it, clearly. With the Busan man, wholly convinced of Eunbich’s sexy charm, off the stage, the third contestant, Yona, stepped up to the center. In line with current trends, Upki Girl’s stage outfits only matched in colors and materials, with each tailored to different styles. Yona's dress code today was an elegant and graceful announcer look. A snug H-line skirt and a blouson with a stand-up collar extending up to the neck, with hair neatly tied and draped down, exuded the most mature allure among the five members. The breathy exhalations of the Yondeok fans in the front row were audible on stage. The Yondeok fans are unique in that the male to female fan ratio is roughly even at 6:4, compared to the usual 8:2 for male fans. “Anyone ready to have their heart stolen by Yonna, please come forward!” ―Screech, scrape! ―Drag, clatter! Chairs noisily scraped against the floor. Two entire rows from the front stood up simultaneously. However, the famed attorney, Geotak God, chose not to participate, perhaps to give others a chance. Yona's method for selecting a partner was a nerve-wracking 'guessing game', and the last person standing was none other than the well-known Yonna fan, known in the fandom as 'Yonna-Bob' ('Yonna, Have Your Meal'), a middle-aged fan in his forties. According to rumors, he’s a guild leader in a popular online game, and every time he visits, he comes with gifts like luxury bags or necklaces. Although our group politely declines such lavish gifts, especially since we have underage members, today he arrived in hiking attire, proudly carrying a main shopping bag for Yona and bags for the other four members as he strutted on stage. “This one is for Yona, and the others are for the members.” “Yes, thank you.” The Chanel-logo-bearing shopping bags were handed to Jang-woo to be moved to the gift storage area. I could almost hear Aliyah's voice resonating. “Women and Chanel, you know. But Aliyah only wears designer labels, so the rest can take them.” Standing face to face in the middle of the stage were Yona and Yonna-Bob. “Hello, Yonna-Bob.” When Yona greeted first, his face lit up with emotion. “Oh, you remember me?” “Of course.” “Did you have something to eat?” “Yes, did you, Yonna-Bob?” “Yeah, I just ate with some friends I hadn’t seen in a while.” After the brief pleasantries, they began measuring his heartbeat. Yona's tactic was to slip into ‘girlfriend mode.’ “Have you made any New Year’s resolutions yet?” “No, not yet...” “Then make them with me.” “Yes...?” Yona gently extended her pale, slender pinky finger, and Yonna-Bob hooked his thick, chunky one around it, causing his heart rate to climb steadily. “First: quit smoking.” “Oh... do I smell? I used deodorant, though.” “Non-smokers can always tell. Next time you visit, I'll give you a smoking cessation kit, so make sure you quit!” “I’ll try.” “Not just try—actually do it!” Grin. Yonna-Bob grinned widely, as did everyone watching. The pace was promising. In 10 seconds, his heart rate jumped to 21 beats—a pace that didn’t surpass Seowon’s 76 over 30 seconds but could accelerate in the remaining 20 seconds, turning the tables. “Second: stop bringing expensive gifts.” “Oh... I just do it because I want to. Don't worry about it. I can afford it.” “Then since I love flowers, bring me flowers instead. Start with one, and add one each time you come. By this time next year, we should aim for 100.” “That means I'd see you every three days or so?” “Oh, that would disrupt your life, wouldn't it? How about 30? Promise?” “Yes, promise.” “What did I ask you to do?” “Quit smoking, bring flowers instead of expensive gifts, and reach 30 by year’s end.” “That’s right, good! Seal it with a stamp, copy~” “Copy…” A well-crafted engagement. Yona completed the 'promise trifecta’ and, for the final touch, changed to her signature interlocked hands gesture—a sweet embrace of clasps like an arm-wrestling match. Whoosh, his heart rate gained momentum. With about 7 seconds left, Yona delivered her finishing move. “The last promise now.” “Yes.” “Keep your eyes only on me from now on.” Honey is practically dripping from her words. “Woww...!” “As expected, a fanmeet pro!” The combination of sultry gazes, a soft voice, and precise gestures sent the audience into sincere admiration and delight. Some were so moved, they shivered or rubbed their arms to calm goosebumps. Yonna-Bob displayed his overwhelming happiness transparently on his face. A bright smile bloomed over his rugged face, as if a field of Jeju canola flowers had suddenly come into view. Struggling to contain his bubbling emotions, he tilted his chin upward in jubilant exclamation, like someone encountering divine rapture. “Hooaa...!” “Time’s up! Thirty seconds! Please step back!” “What is it? What’s the number?!” Thump! Finally, it seemed the heartbeat had exploded with excitement! <Shibakkobugi Get Out> End