107 - Upki Girl

< Yona, Under Fire > "Why is that guy lying over there?" I asked Seowon, who was smiling the most leisurely. He gestured for me to lower my posture, as if to explain in a whisper. I dropped my shoulders and leaned in to listen. Then, almost to the point of being inaudible, he murmured in a mix of 90% air and 10% sound. “He's gone mad. He asked fofo for a kiss on the cheek, but got refused, so he kissed her hand and pressed it against her face...” “What are you saying?” “Why? Is the sound of whispering tickling your ear exciting?” “Ugh, seriously...” Excitement, my foot. It felt as though I were being approached by a slimy snail leaving a sticky trail, as if he contemplated men responded like a snail's antenna when touched. Pulling my face away in discomfort, he coaxed, “Alright, alright,” and provided a proper explanation. “He asked for a kiss on the cheek, and Hong refused. Instead, she kissed her hand and pressed it to his face. That's why he’s like that.” “Because he liked it?” “Yeah. He’s smiling because he's happy.” The man, who seemed like someone who would've arrived on a Harley Davidson, was grinning contentedly. Seowon muttered under his breath like a ventriloquist. “Ugh. Creepy. If he were my fan, I’d have told him to leave.” “What was his heart rate?” “Eighty.” “Amazing. So Hong is in first place?” “That's why I'm annoyed.” It was as shocking of an outcome as Leicester City winning the Premier League. Seowon was in denial, crossing over into some alternate universe. “Isn’t that measuring device broken? Reinstall the app and try again. It must be broken. I suspected the scores were off since Yona. Besides, the first person always has a disadvantage, so in reality, I'm in first place. Right?” “Yeah. Of course, you’re number one. Keep telling yourself that.” “Stop teasing. Even the fans say so. They ask how harsh I must have been treated to say such things.” He continued to counter with ventriloquism, and I replied in the same manner. “Who said you're not pretty? Just don’t blow into people’s ears or anything like that.” “Jeez... What did you talk about with Riya?” “What you’re thinking.” “No way. Did Riya tell the truth?” “Let’s discuss it at the dorm later.” To ensure smooth proceedings, the man lying on the floor was helped up by security. After he left, the true fan signing event commenced. More fans arrived than expected, and after deliberation with the children, we decided to accommodate an additional 50 people. However, due to the venue’s schedule, it wasn’t feasible. Once the signing session was over, I conveyed my gratitude and apologies to the fans on behalf of the group. "Hello, I’m Yoonho Kim, the manager of Hum It Sound." "Manager, you’re handsome!" “Haha, thank you. I’m blushing. Um... I’d like to sincerely thank all the fans who came today. We intended to select an extra 50 fans for signings, but due to another event immediately following ours, it seems it won’t be possible. We’ll be sure to plan more carefully next time.” A chorus of disappointment resounded. This was the largest turnout we'd ever had, and our kids felt the most regretful and sorry. They were exchanging words with their fans or camera lenses with their mouths as best as they could. The unofficial fan club president, Riya, spoke into the mic. "We’re really disappointed too, you know. So next time, let’s not be so petty with first-come-first-served. We should rent a place like Jamsil Stadium and do it just among us." “Wow! Riya is the best!” "Yeah, thanks a lot." She went ahead and even announced the founding of the fan club. "While we're on the topic, don’t you think it’s time we start a fan club? I’ve thought of a name. Want to hear it?" “Yes!” They were thrilled. "We're the girl group you’ve practically raised, right? So how about naming the fan club ‘Backcarrier’?" Backcarrier, huh. I like that sense of creativity. The fans responded well, and the other members were also in favor. “Backcarrier. It’s pretty!” “Sounds nice. Backcarrier.” “I’m in favor.” “Me too.” "For the record, Riya will be the fan club owner because out of everyone here, no one loves our sisters as much as Riya does. Agree?" The fans mirrored Riya's playful language back to her. “Agreed!” “Approved?” “Yes, confirmed!” It seems like everyone thought Riya was just joking, but they’ll rethink once her name is actually listed as the club administrator. The formation of Upkick Girl’s fan club is currently under discussion at the company. However, it hasn't been finalized yet, so it’s reckless to announce it impulsively. Thus, I stepped in to resolve the matter from the company's perspective. “We’re having ongoing discussions concerning the fan club at a company level. While there's some opinion that it's still a bit early, our members are eager for it, so we’re planning positively. The name Backcarrier seems good, but what do you all think?" “We love it!” “Then we’ll tentatively decide on Backcarrier as the fan club name and finalize it after further communication with fans through our official forum. As for today's signing, we may need to conclude here due to venue time constraints.” “Aww~” “Yes, we're also disappointed, and our members are probably the most regretful. We honestly didn’t anticipate such a large crowd, and while we apologize, we’re also grateful from the company’s perspective. Thank you so much. We’ll work harder to repay your love with Upkick Girl and Hum It Sound.” After handing the mic over to the kids, I stepped off the stage first to ensure an orderly exit. A young woman with a pretty face gestured to me from outside the guideline. She was recording herself with a selfie stick, possibly for a video. “Excuse me, manager, can you spare a moment?” “Yes?” “Could you take some time to speak with me?” “Yes, what is this about? What are you filming?” *** “Good work, everyone. Time to head back to the dorm.” “You did well too, Jangwoo.” “Everyone did a great job.” “Ugh, I’m sleepy…” As the car left the event venue, Seowon, sitting behind me, asked in a flat tone, “Who was that, that plastic surgery monster earlier?” “Huh? Who?” “I saw you passing something with some woman. Did you exchange numbers?” “Ah…” I was about to explain, but Eun-byeol and Yona didn’t give me a chance. “I saw it too. She was the one who looked decent because of heavy makeup despite her bad skin, right?” “She was pretty but went overboard with the eye surgery, didn’t she, sister?” Hong joined in on Yona’s negativity. “Really? I was distracted by her chest and didn’t even notice her face. She seemed ready to launch any second, like a missile.” “Even Aliyah thought she was too artificial.” Upkick Girl’s passion turns fiery when gossiping. “She seemed interested in you, Munho. Did she ask you out? Did she push those missile-like chests at you?” “No, it wasn’t like that.” “Then what was it?” “It looked like you were exchanging numbers…” “She had so much filler under her eyes, I couldn’t tell if she was smiling or crying, right, Eun-byeol?” “But you looked like you were over the moon.” “Hey, let me speak!” After I explained, “She claimed to be a famous BJ, known by only a handful of fingers. She was broadcasting live from there. She enjoyed the fan signing event and asked if we could appear on her show sometime,” the kids unanimously rejected the idea. “No way we're going on that show. If we’re going to appear somewhere, we’ll do our own thing. How famous does she even think she is? What’s her name?” “Sohmyeong? She moved to YouTube after starting on Afreeca.” “Yeah. Never heard of.” “Tell her we’ll consider it if she pays each of us a billion won.” “We aren’t appearing on such a tacky show.” “I’m not interested either. I don’t think it would be effective for promotion.” “I also oppose, based on majority decision.” “Manager, delete that woman’s contact. Actually, give me your phone, and I’ll do it since you’re probably tired.” Seowon stretched her hands toward me as if to throttle me. “No, no. I'll delete it. Anyway, you won't have time to appear on shows like that anymore.” “No, I don’t trust you. Hand it over.” “Ah, cold hands! Where are you putting those?” “Eun-byeol, quickly grab the manager’s phone!” “Leave it. He said he’ll delete it himself.” “No way. Do you trust men? He shouldn’t have taken her number in the first place! Then after a few drinks, he’ll call her.” Her obsessive imagination running wild again! “Oh, that might happen. Oppa, give us your phone.” Now the easily influenced Hanseonka Pirate Crew’s Eun-byeol chimed in! “I’ll take it.” Even Strong Hong, the strongest in the world, joined in. Three or four hands stretched from the back, rummaging, groping, and pinning me down. “Woah, it’s dangerous, sit down.” Jangwoo’s warning was futile. “Hey, he said it’s dangerous! Alright, alright! I’ll delete it right now!” “Erase it in front of us. Quickly.” “Fine. And who’s touching my chest, Seowon! You’re dead!” “Huh? It wasn’t me! Who was it?” “It, it was me, Hong.” “What the...?” “It wasn’t on purpose. Just brushed lightly…” “Then, I’ll also…” Agh! “Seriously!” I shook off the hands like a drenched dog shaking off water. Then I turned to face them, trying to delete the contact in front of them when my phone buzzed. <Incoming call from JH> I had a call from Jaehee. “What’s ‘JH’? Who’s that?” “Jeonghee? Juhee? Jeonghyun? Juhyun? Jihyun?” “Jaehee.” “Oh, it’s Jaehee unnie!” “From Plan L?” “Yeah.” After I admitted it, the pirate crew leader interrogated me persistently. “Why didn’t you save her number under her name? Why the initials like it’s a secret?” “She's an entertainer, you know.” Eun-byeol retorted, “We’re entertainers too. Did you save our names as initials?” “Yeah. I didn’t save yours with your names either. I usually don’t use real names.” I tapped the call button and took the lead. “Yes, Jaehee. I’m at work right now, I’ll call you back later.” “Oh, okay. Take care, oppa!” Even after she hung up, questions like why she spoke informally and why the voice was so sweet, why I postponed the call, pursued me relentlessly. Where’s my privacy? *** Two days later. Today was the main recording day for Hong and Yona’s ‘Girl Crush’ semi-finals. The mentors were decided during the last qualifying rounds. I hoped they would be paired, but as Jangwoo wished, Hong was paired with Jakdu, and Yona with Dante. We kept in close contact through offline meetings with the mentors, discussing production direction and style. In the morning, separate shoots were held with each mentor; Hong was with me, while Yona was with Manager Kim Sangin. Jangwoo and I handled the current set shoot. Up to the semi-finals, or the top four, are conducted as a recording without an audience, and the finals will determine the winner with on-site ballots and mobile voting in front of an audience of about 200 people. < Yona, Under Fire > Today, ahead of the official 16th-round battles, recording was scheduled to determine matchups through interviews and disses. The 16 contestants gathered in groups of four at the center stage. Although there was an unspoken rule that members of the same mentor group would not face each other, it was essentially an individual competition where such distinctions became irrelevant as the show progressed. This was also a matter of pride for the mentors, to see which of their mentees would last the longest. "Recording starts in three, two, one, action!" The four producers, who also served as mentors and MCs, began speaking according to the script. "Today is the first battle after teaming up with mentors. Based on today's diss battle rankings, the top eight rappers will challenge the bottom eight." "But first, let’s hear from the 16 contestants about their predictions on who might win and who might get eliminated. Let’s start with Midori." The first question was directed at a cute-framed rapper in a black Adidas tracksuit. "Did you watch the preliminary round videos?" “Yes.” "Who do you think will win?" “Of course, I will.” Midori's confidence earned her a thumbs-up from her mentor. “I like that. I chose her for this boldness.” Dante inquired further. "Then, who do you think will be eliminated from the top 16?" "I don’t even consider them rappers, so I'll just say the ones who are mediocre." “Whoa, that’s harsh.” “The ones I consider mediocre and bound for elimination are the two idols.” Ah, they were undoubtedly referring to our kids. It seemed Midori particularly had a problem with Yona. She swaggered over to Yona, then turned to the mentors, asking, “Can I do a freestyle rap?” “Oh!” Even if it was partly prepared, the unexpected proposal excited both the staff and mentors. Upon receiving the green light from the staff, Dante snapped his fingers excitedly toward the pink-bobbed—big-chested—DJ. "Okay, DJ Hello! Drop the beat!" —Doom tss doom tss doochie potchee doom tss potchee “Yo, yo, what rap from an idol? Like bobsleighing in summer, it’s all a contradictory f—king hate. Just do your usual, flaunt your tits and shake your booty. I got this stage, you go fleece those pathetic otaku uncles. I’ll own this joint, turn the f—k up. Don’t go crying after getting handled by the big sister, just sit down while I’m kindly asking, shut the f—k up!” Despicable. Did it really make her feel better to crush them like that? Even though this antagonizing concept was anticipated, my heart ached as our kids were singled out from the first interview. Thank goodness Aliyah had missed this because of the hotel assembly. Otherwise, she would have been clutching her neck and collapsing. “Wow!” “Oh my s—t!” The reaction from other rappers and the mentors was predictably intense. Whispers spread openly. “She mentioned two idols, who’s the other one?” “The one in Dante's team wearing the red checkered coat.” “Oh, right. I thought they both looked rather pretty. Are they in an active group?” “Seems like it.” “Then why are they here?” “Probably to stir up some buzz. They’ve got nothing to lose even if they get kicked out.” No, that’s not it, you guys. Given their hip-hop backgrounds, they were uncensored. From their perspective, targeting Yona and Hong had its perks. They were easy targets, and creating such a conflict would ensure more airtime. Midori was just the first. The jabs at Yona and Hong wouldn't stop with her. Sensing the moment, a writer relayed instructions to Jakdu via a sketchbook. ‘Jakdu: Next interview, Yona’ “Hey, Yona.” “Yes.” “Aren’t you angry hearing that? As your mentor, I’m a bit upset.” “I am angry. I expected some attacks for being an idol, so that's fine. But referring to our fans in that manner ticks me off.” “What did she say? Pathetic otaku uncles? Haha, picking on fans is crossing the line, right?” Midori’s mentor, Sojak, chuckled provocatively, while Yona nodded coolly and looked at DJ Hello. “Give me the same beat.” “Oh!” Ha. Midori or whatever her name is, she picked the wrong rival. Given the anticipated idol-targeted diss, we came thoroughly prepared. —Doom tss doom tss doochie potchee doom tss potchee Over the same beat, Yona launched her counter-diss with precision. < Yona, Under Fire > End