114 - Upki Girl

< Who were they…? Ah! <Additional Lyrics> > "Don't touch me, if you lay even a finger on me, I'll sue you for sexual harassment!" "So, please get in by yourself. We’d rather avoid any physical contact." "What did we do wrong?" "Let me explain again. You trespassed into someone else's office, vandalized property, and disrupted work, so we received a report, and you need to come in for questioning." "We didn’t trespass! The door was wide open; doesn’t that mean we could come in? If this is going to be an issue, then you should lock the door." I held my tongue from saying, 'The door's always locked, but your kind broke it yesterday,' remembering the counsel of Attorney God-Godtak to avoid speaking with these people entirely. Now, a familiar officer warns them once again. "If you keep acting this way, we will have no choice but to take you in by force, understood?" The three members of the group “Hangnam Phobia” (hereafter referred to as “Hangpo”), who had brazenly barged into the office and caused a commotion, calmed down a bit only after the second warning. However, one of them, still defiant, mumbles nonsense, her eyes visible through the gap in her mask. "Alright, then just bring a female officer. How can we trust male officers these days? Didn’t one assault a sexual assault victim during questioning not too long ago?" "Yes, yes, it’s truly embarrassing for us as fellow officers as well." The seasoned officers were unfazed by their provocations. It wasn't until the female officers arrived, as they wished, that the three Hangpo members got into the police car. Though they might think they came out on top, they will come to realize just how unfavorable it is to provoke the police during the testimony process. Fools. Yeom accompanies them as our side's witness. Despite having made it clear through press releases that we won’t go easy on them, these Hangpos still come to the office acting like martyrs. While they might start off with bravado, nine out of ten end up calling us, sobbing, in less than two days, once they realize the seriousness of the situation during the police investigation. Most of them, being first-time offenders, will get off with a fine, but a fine is still a criminal record that will last for two years, potentially complicating social activities like employment or job hunting. Attorney God-Godtak's team, with whom we have an agreement, will thoroughly apply charges of obstruction of business, special trespass, vandalism, threats, defamation, dissemination of false information, etc., to indict them properly. There’s even a substantial civil lawsuit waiting like a dessert after the main course. When it comes to legal counsel, we have no worries. Attorney God-Godtak alone is more than enough, but if necessary, we also have access to the Alia Hotel legal team. Lalagat, the leader of Hangnam Phobia, made two grave mistakes. First, she completely lost touch with reality because she was always surrounded by people who praised her like a queen. It seems she appeared in a broadcast to spread Hangnam Phobia widely, but the public isn't naive. As soon as '16th Round Cipher' aired, her SNS and Hangnam Phobia site were thoroughly scrutinized, revealing all the ugly actions and words she had carried out in secret. The most significant revelation was from a Hangpo member, a daycare teacher, who bragged about harassing male children as a mirroring of men's Lolita complex and shared unauthorized photos taken at daycare, which is now under thorough police investigation. Lalagat's second mistake was believing the 'Girl Crush' production team was on her side. The production team, having exploited feminism as a catchy theme, distanced themselves from her by stating that "the participant's opinions are personal and not endorsed by the network" once the predictable controversy arose. Overcome with rage, Lalagat made claims that the staff sexually harassed her and encouraged her to emphasize feminism, but no broadcasting network is foolish. They released all the correspondence and interview footage they had with Lalagat, counterattacking spectacularly. Now, she's been sued by the network for defamation and spreading false information, while the remaining Hangpo remnants are causing trouble. Public opinion is so negative that an anti-feminist movement is spreading among some women. Lalagat’s parent forums, Womad and MeGalia, are also under heavy criticism. Meanwhile, Hong is celebrated as a "rational celebrity," known as "Hongdarque" or "Radiant Hong," though she’s gained a proportional number of anti-fans. An attack from 'some' pseudo-feminist female netizens has begun. At Humming-Humming, we have collected negative comments from around 50 heavy cyberbullies and handed them over to the police. As promised, there is absolutely no settlement. For potential acts of terror, we’ve contracted an external security company for events and schedules. From the start, we've contracted with a female security team to prevent any sexual harassment controversies. “Ignorant people with beliefs can be incredibly dangerous.” “Now they’re even crawling in. Should we move the office at this point?” The fatigue from engaging in a mudslinging contest with femi-nazis is palpable, separate from the satisfaction of seeking justice. Even though we’re giving it our all since it’s come to this, if I could turn back time, I would choose to ignore Lalagat’s provocations. "Whew—" Hyun-dong took a deep breath as he watched the police car drive away, puffing on his e-cigarette. With a health-conscious craze sweeping the office, everyone had switched to e-cigarettes. Since staying with the kids in the dorm, I’ve been taking medication to quit smoking, but never have I felt a stronger craving than these days. "Ah, I want a cigarette." "Cluck, just have one." "The kids will scold me." "Our Yunho’s a good guy." "At least give me that." Out of frustration, I took a puff from Hyun-dong’s e-cigarette, but the taste was so unpleasant that I immediately gave it back. "Ah, feels like my body isn’t mine anymore." "What can you do? The kids look up to you. Let’s go inside, it's cold." Hyun-dong and I, lamenting our fate, returned to the office. Inside, chaos was brewing. The Hangpo troublemakers had broken a pot in front of the shoe rack. It was an air-purifying plant, a gift from a fan to Seowon. The kids had even named it and were raising it with great care… "Leon, don't die." "Li, Liyaya, don’t touch it, you’ll hurt yourself. Let me handle it." "Yunho oppa, what about our Leon?" "If we re-pot it, can it come back to life?" Silverside and Yona looked at me with pleading eyes, like hungry kittens, while Seowon bit her lip so hard her jaw muscles tensed. "Bukseuleuk jja... I'll bukseuleuk jja..." Her expression sent shivers down my spine. If we’d come out two seconds later, there would’ve been a physical altercation with the Hangpo trio. If that had happened, it would definitely have made it to not just entertainment news, but even the social news section. "I'll go buy a new pot," said Jang-woo as he emerged from the media room, putting on his coat. "Is there a place nearby?" Silverside sniffled and asked. He mentioned a nearby flower shop. "Please do, oppa. Who will take care of the office’s air without Leon?" Yeah, the air purifier. "Hang in there, Leon. Jang-woo will get you a new home." "I'll be back." Just as Jang-woo was about to ascend the stairs, Mi-jeong from the PR team, who had been diligently working amidst the uproar, called out urgently from the former CEO’s office. "Manager! We just hit number one on WeNotF!" "Woohoo!" "Really?!" "Yona’s 'Idol' is fourth, and 'Hug Me' is at twenty-third!" "Holy moly!" "'Hug Me' climbing up the charts again is amazing!" Forgetting Leon for a moment, we all rushed into the office to check the monitor. 1. We Do Not Need a Feminist (Prod. by Dante) ― Yeon-hong 2. Oh My God ― Mining 3. The Reason I Live (Prod. by Jakdu) ― Choi Sica 4. I Doll (Prod. by Jakdu) ― Yona . . 23. Hug Me ― Upki-girl Whoa! Aside from Hong, Yona’s fourth place for “I Doll” and “Hug Me” re-entering the charts were something to celebrate. The awareness Upki-girl had gradually built up was now being ignited by Hong and Yona’s joint appearance on 'Girl Crush.' While we had expected decent chart results from 'Girl Crush', the kids were over the moon about the unexpected re-climb of “Hug Me.” I pulled out my phone to inform Manager Kim Sang-in, who was in a program meeting. At that moment, an information window popped up in front of me. ―――――――― ―Member Yeon-hong Title Change: Idol Yeon-hong → Number One Rapper Yeon-hong Upon winning Girl Crush, it’s possible to gain the 'Hip-Hop Queen' title. ―――――――― Congratulations on topping the charts, Yeon-hong! Great job! As a congratulatory gift, we’re sending a ‘spoiler’ scene. Use the spoiler to overcome a crisis. ★GOOD LUCK★ ―――――――― A spoiler? A video popped up inside the information window. It was a broadcasting staff badge hanging around someone’s neck. ‘SBS Variety Team, Jin Sang-yun’ Why him? Though unfamiliar with his face, the name was well known. He was the CP (Chief Producer) of ‘Replay Girl’, the girl group revival program Upki-girl was slated to appear on. It's a project Manager Kim Sang-in had been in meetings about for over two months, and anticipated to be a critical milestone for Upki-girl's mini-album activities at the start of next year. With each member’s solo popularity soaring, the complete group activity is intended to cement their status. The information window zoomed out, revealing the badge owner’s upper body. After removing the badge from his neck, he stuffed it into the car’s glove box. His real appearance seemed older and more worn than the picture on the badge. Upon seeing him, he seemed somewhat familiar. But the exact time or place of our meeting did not come to mind. Did we meet when we greeted the entertainment team during the Trendy Gayo show? No, I hadn’t been introduced to anyone as a CP. CPs, or Chief Producers, are situated between producers and department directors, managing multiple programs with over 15 years of experience. Like a scene transition in a drama, the setting soon shifted elsewhere. The screen, resembling footage from an exposé program, showed from a 45-degree angle under Jin Sang-yun’s upper body, deducing from the table’s shape and attire that it was a room salon. Someone across from him asked: ―Which manager came by? Jin Sang-yun toyed with his on-the-rocks glass as he replied: ―I heard it was the former team leader from Plan-L? He's working temporarily as a freelancer for a new company's request. ―Manager Kim Sang-in? ―Yeah, that’s right. He was referring to our company. The voice and intonation of the other person felt familiar. I could easily visualize his image. It was Kim Seok-won, the former CEO of Yona’s previous company. Eye Contact was also said to appear on 'Replay Girl,' wasn't it... As if trying to check the time, CP Jin Sang-yun turned on his phone screen on the table. Thus, I could confirm the date—instead of recent, the conversation was from September, three months ago. It coincided right after the first meeting between agency representatives post-release of the program proposal. Indeed. Back then, no one from Karma Entertainment participated. Kim Seok-won and CP Jin Sang-yun were discussing the program privately. Why is our company being mentioned? ―Did Kim Sang-in come alone? No other managers with him? ―Seemed like he came alone. Why? ―Didn’t you check the profile of Upki-girl? ―Man, do I have time for that? Manager PD and the writers handle the cast management. "Yona is from that team, right?" "Yona? The one who left your team?" "Yes." "What, she said she wasn't going to sing anymore and then switched to another company? That's betrayal." "She's already performing. We even had a confrontation when we met at Trendy Gayo with our group." "Why?" "You'd be really surprised to know who their real manager is besides Manager Kim Sang-in. Back then, why..." Just as Kim Seok-won was about to continue, “Manager!” The real Yona suddenly appeared in front of me, causing the holographic information window to blur and disappear. "Huh?" "Are you feeling unwell?" "No, just lost in thought. What's up?" "Oh, you suddenly went quiet…" In the midst of celebrating Hong’s number one track, I had momentarily stopped moving, which must have seemed odd. Everyone was looking at me. Silverside grinned with a Squirtle-like smile. "Were you just so happy that you zoned out?" I tried to excuse myself to check the rest of the spoiler, saying, "I need to go to the restroom…" but then Yona and Jang-woo came into my view at the same time. Ah, I remember now. So that person was CP Jin Sang-yun! I clearly recalled where I had seen them. These sneaky bastards, are they planning behind our backs with our team? *** <Song Information> We Do Not Need a Feminist (Prod. by Dante) Lyrics: Yeon-hong Composition: Dante ―Intro― "At the company, they ask me to rap 'nice’ Dante says, maintain your image But how can I rap nice When people are harmed innocently? If that’s feminism, then I’m anti-femi Not a woman-man issue but a common-sense frame" ―Verse 1― "Ah, before I start, let me introduce myself If you want to criticize, show your name card first Born in 1997, in Gwangju My name, Hong, has been a bright stock since birth A rapper raised by Humming-Humming sound If you want to know more, open the search engine, all my cards are shown Now let me speak as I see and hear Just like some unnie running a feminist group That unnie is Medusa, look at her and it's trouble She thinks even her dad is a predator But don’t worry, I guarantee No one's looking at her Why look at muck when surrounded by flowers A mental victim at max level doesn’t even hear such I understand how it feels, having been down before Though in a slightly different sense, I was a troll once too But I was saved by Korean men, U know?" ―Hook "U know? Korean police are men U know? Korean soldiers are men U know? Firefighters are men In danger, who will protect you but men U know? Who cleans the streets? U know? Who handles high-voltage electricity? U know? Who cleans building exteriors? Take a look at who does dangerous and dirty work" ―Verse 2― "Men are the sky, women the earth How dare a woman interrupt a man's speech Women and dried fish need a beating every three days When a hen crows, the household falls What era’s words are these, I haven’t heard Unnies, have you truly heard this? My mom says it was that way in the old days She nods, saying back then it was really like that Today’s men are too gentlemanly, she laughs Today’s girls are too enviable, she admits If my dad were like that, he'd be carried around Here’s a question: Why should an unnie be compensated for past inequality? Why blame today's generation for the wrongs of past fathers and grandfathers? The world has changed, yet why live in the past alone Men have much to say too, listen and it’s the same Not a gender issue but a role issue, not women or men but a people issue" ―Hook ―Verse 3― "Already in verse three, so much more to say, let's speed up No need to look at the lyrics, my diction is killer Today's feminists are like garlic, peel them off and you're praised Keep peeling, and it turns into an onion But that's not what I want, absolutely not Not cloaked as 'concept’, but just measures of common sense More labor intensity should earn more pay Demanding equal treatment leads to accusations of thievery Openly spreading hatred, dividing and taking sides Manipulating statistics, twisting facts, what are you really after Back to 1941, hail feminazi I’ll only do what I want, picky buffetmi If men back off, who really loses, use your brain Don’t hide behind the word woman, reveal your name and speak up Today, my stance is clear, Yeon-hong here to hit the unnies from Dante's purgatory Got permission too, do you know Upki-girl? Seowon is light and to me, Yeon-hong is truth with Back Hug and Humming-Humming" ―Hook [B Music Listener Comments] ―Gunmusiki: God Hong, you are… ―buunuu: Protect her ―WhyIsThisInterestingly: She’s 21 and wrote this? I bet my egg-fryer that Dante ghostwrote it LOL ―SangSang: Hong was awesome ―traness: Hong, back hug♡ ―qkqhdpffl0: It was amazing. Undoubtedly the best performance this competition. ―GoldenSeaSo: Hey, for your information, the members of Upki-girl read a lot. Check out Yeon-hong's ‘Diet’ on YouTube first. ―adjective: It’s refreshing, but why does it worry me? Protect her. ―GrumpyScholar: Leaving Idol ―ImukBaek: Guys, am I the only one who finds these lyrics satisfying? ―DarkCloudSwordsman: Hong, back hug♡ ―RedChamisul: Yona, back hug♡ ―UnshapedSwordsman: Hong-10 hit the mark lol Hong, back hug♡ ―Eerang: The boys will flip, they’ll flip and burst ―PatrioticAutonomy: They won't just flip, they're about to herniate lol ―Sohanee: Doesn’t the agency manage this? The kid is really showing how empty-headed they are. Learn what feminism truly is before you speak. Sweetie, feminism isn’t that simple of a term, you know. LOL ―GodAmericano: You can tell by my profile, I’m a guy, but this is just disgusting. ―AngMoLrang: At some point, the comments started getting weird. The trolls must have coordinated an attack LOL. ―HongLuv: I don’t know if Hong unni will see this, but as a woman, I support you. I don’t need feminism either. ―CorruptPleasure: The most confused right now are the “insect men” LOL. ―HateBugs: Currently, on Ilbe, “The enemy of my enemy is my friend, so let's support them for now" LOL. ―bb2164: There’s an announcement on the Upki-girl agency website. They’re telling Ilbe to back off LOL. ―SmartOne: "Don’t laugh, this is about you" enactment LOL. ―Lv999: Let’s actually protect her this time. Stop just talking about it, keyboard warriors. Hangnam Phobia is raising funds for lawyer fees to sue Hong and the Upki-girl office. ―ProbablySo: Seriously, Hangpo is raising funds again? Feminism really does make money. ―gfdrkgdfg: I agree with the standard of common sense. Hatred needs to disappear. <Who was it…? Ah! <Additional Lyrics>> End