140 - Upki Girl

< Teaser Performance Revealed, Who's Number 1? > “It's Eunbit who seems the most disappointed about it. She really wanted to do the radio show. Yes, exactly. Yes, please contact us next time. Yes, thank you. Goodbye.” What a shame. Even after hanging up, the feeling of regret lingered. The permanent guest spot for ‘Janggo's Music Wantchu’ offered to Eunbit had to be declined. We needed to focus our efforts on ‘Replay Girl,’ since it offered more merits. Radio shows require punctual attendance, and it inevitably clashed with the ‘Replay Girl’ schedule. Today, the members without any scheduled activities were fully devoted to practicing for the ‘Replay Girl’ mission. While the girls practiced, I sat in the office, monitoring online community posts related to Upkick Girl. Whenever I spotted any unfavorable comments, it was my job to counter them immediately by posting responses underneath, orchestrating a counter-drama like a well-organized cyber team. Hehe. After the Hong-incident with the male-phobia controversy, there has been a noticeable decrease in negative comments—probably due to all the lawsuits we filed. 『“No Way!” Upkick Girl's Eunbit goes serious on a live radio broadcast』 What a clickbait of a headline. This article was clearly intended to grab attention, yet it was ranking first in the entertainment section. —PanKu: Look at that provocative headline. SMH. It's because the listener texted while driving, and she told him not to. —ExtremePolar: Shouldn't a journalist distinguish between viewers and listeners at least? —Hwoong: I'm telling you, if this team’s next album hits, they’ll soar. I upvoted each of these top comments and added my own. —kyh0830: Upkick Girl, truly sensible idols. ^^ On YouTube, a song sung by Eunbit and Seowon during the radio show had become a viral video. Though it wasn’t on visual radio, one uploader extracted their voices and edited it with pictures to create a music video-like presentation. The quality was so good that despite being uploaded for less than a day, it had already surpassed 70,000 views, landing it among today's popular videos. “I see, you really don’t know me yet….” As I hummed along to the playing song and continued monitoring comments, the phone line for the public relations team rang. —Ring ring! “Yes, thank you for calling. This is Hum Hum Sound Agency. Yes, it’s Upkick Girl Management. Ah, please hold. Let me transfer you to the person in charge. Chief!” “Yes?” “A call from Defense TV.” Defense TV, eh… Ah, the Military Consolation Train! Oh wow, it's finally happening! “Please transfer the call to me.” —Ring ring! “Hello, I've taken the call.” —Hello, this is Song Ji-seon, the head writer for the Military Consolation Train airing on Defense TV. Her polite and amiable voice was as welcoming as a telecom receptionist. “Yes, of course, I’m familiar with the Military Consolation Train.” —Well, actually... “We’ve been eagerly waiting for this. We agree without any hesitation.” —Sorry...? “Is this a call inviting Upkick Girl?” —Yes, that’s correct. “Our members have been eager to participate. We were actually planning to reach out to you, so it looks like our wishes aligned.” —Oh, is that so! Thank you very much. “No, thank you. Our group members still have this mystique about soldiers.” Hearing this, Writer Song let out a pleasant, hearty laugh. Then, suddenly, she sounded apologetic while speaking in a more subdued tone. —But we have a limited budget, so our appearance fee isn't very high... I was already aware of this point. “Participating in the Military Consolation Train isn’t about the money. It’s about cheering on our soldiers who sacrifice for the nation.” —Oh, truly, thank you. The Military Consolation Train is a performance almost every up-and-coming girl group experiences at least once. Due to its limited budget and the fact that it's mainly conducted in regional areas, even reaching out to A-list singers is a stretch. However, the soldiers' responses are so enthusiastic that singers often receive immense energy from it, leaving a lasting impression, causing those who’ve been once to desire returning, and drawing rookie groups desperate for fame to willingly participate despite it being a financially negative event. Who else in Korea, or globally, reacts more enthusiastically to girl group activities than Korean soldiers? Two things people tend to like, even if they didn’t before joining the army, are Choco Pie and girl groups. I was no exception. In my early twenties, deeply immersed in the rock spirit, I didn't even regard idols as musicians and thought K-pop was rubbish. But within three weeks of being stationed at my base, I was entirely transformed. I learned the names and the numbers of members in girl groups that debuted back then. —It’s a strange feeling knowing Laye-na from Rosemarie, whom I used to admire, is a judge for this Replay Girl show— How often the name of the group was mentioned by soldiers—who essentially live to watch music shows—is sometimes seen as a barometer for success. During my time, watching live broadcasts was a must, but these days every barracks has IPTV, allowing repeated viewing even after the live broadcast. Yona also appeared twice during the Eye Contact era, recalling it as the most memorable performance of her idol career. The rest of the members were extremely envious. Discussing schedule specifics, a sudden curiosity led me to ask the Military Consolation Train writer a question. “Which girl groups are popular among soldiers these days? Especially newcomers.” She responded, “Not just saying this, Upkick Girl’s popularity has genuinely surged,” then she mentioned a few more groups. —They tend to favor those who are just starting to rise rather than teams already on track to success. These days, Freeyami and Tenswit are the trend. ‘Freeyami’ signed on to appear on Replay Girl but bailed once their popularity spiked. They were replaced by Seowon’s friend Yujin’s group, May Queens, who recently snagged a top spot on a cable music show and are on a roll. ‘Tenswitch,’ on the other hand, isn't known for chart-topping songs, but they're renowned for having an overwhelmingly male fandom. The common thread between both groups is their concept of pure, innocent idols—a first love theme. Both have now reached a level where they're too big for the Military Consolation Train performance. “So it seems soldiers these days like the sweet and fresh style.” —Yes. While sexy concepts get good stage reactions, they rarely perform well in popularity polls. “So, we prepare two songs, right?” —It'd be great if you could prepare one more for an encore in case the atmosphere is good. “Then we’ll prepare a total of three songs.” —I wasn’t expecting much due to your tight schedule, so we’re really grateful. “Oh no, not at all. Even if the performance were tomorrow, we would be there. Thank you for calling us.” —Considering how cold it is, please make sure the outfits are warm. “Yes, understood.” The call ended in perhaps the warmest, most amicable tone possible. The recording is next week in Yanggu, Gangwon Province. The girls will love it. Excited to share the news about the Military Consolation Train invitation, I rushed over to the practice room. “Hey everyone... wha...?” Sigh, what are they up to this time...? It was sheer chaos. Seowon and Hong were on opposite sides, shrieking at each other. Yona was trying to calm Seowon, while Eunbit and Riya were clinging to Hong's legs, being dragged along. Upon closer inspection, Yona appeared to be protecting Seowon, who was hiding behind her, looking terrified. “Hey, hey! Come over here! Hold her leg properly!” “I’m trying, but it’s not enough!” “Ahhh, we're being pulled! Attack of the Hong-Hong is real!” “Han Seowon, this ends today. Apologize now.” “Fine, I'm sorry! I misspoke!” “Not good enough!” “What do you want then?” “Make up with your actions.” “Kyaa! Manager!” Spotting me, Seowon abandoned Yona, rushed over, and clung to my back for protection. Hong, too, redirected her path towards me, dragging Eunbit and Riya like fluffy boot adornments on her legs. Even after losing weight, Hong’s strength remained formidable. “Oppa, please calm Hong-Hong unnie down!” “Moonyun, save us! We're being dragged!” Usually unflappable, Hong must have had her nerves seriously pricked by Seowon. “Why is Hong so upset?” In response to my question, Seowon whimpered, clearly feeling wronged. “I told her to shed some thigh fat as a joke, and she threw a water bottle at me. Hit my forehead with the cap. It hurt.” “It’s your fault then.” “No, I was just joking around.” Hong exclaimed hotly in defense. “I told you this morning it was a red day. I'm already irritable from being hungry, so why provoke me?” Ah, I see. Turns out, it was the dreaded 'Hong-Kajjima' period overlapping with both dieting and menstruating. During this time, teasing Hong is a huge no-no, and Seowon seems to have forgotten. “Hong, Seowon apologized, didn’t she? Let it go just this once.” Hong, struggling to hold back tears of frustration, bit her lip and quivered. “She targeted me precisely because she knows how hard thigh fat is to lose...” “Hey. What's wrong with your thighs? They look healthy and beautiful. Even fans say not to lose any more.” Hong finally ground to a halt, lowering her head, and grumbled poutily. “I... I hate being called voluptuous... I want to be slim like the others. I look so big on stage, it's unbalanced…” Though no one would use the term voluptuous in front of Hong, she must have seen online comments. Alia and Eunbit began soothing Hong. “Hong-Hong unnie, then Alia will gain some weight. I'll match your balance, so let it go, okay? We’ve practically mopped the practice room floor being dragged all over.” “I envy you the most, unnie. Just standing there, everyone calls you alluring. I've never seen anyone criticize your body...” Currently, Hong is, without a doubt, Upkick Girl's most popular and recognized member. Having bravely confronted anti-feminist issues, she's revered as a goddess of sensible thought on male-dominated sites, and her second-place finish in the Girl Crush competition skyrocketed her public recognition. It's strange she’s not more popular; her curvy body and pretty face certainly contribute to her appeal. Still, if she doesn't like her own body, that’s how she feels. Although frustrated with her glamorous figure, it aggravated her already sensitive mood when Seowon prodded that weak spot. Wait, hold on a second? Someone who wants to be that slim begged for two pieces of chicken with pigtails and begged cutely? What? Can anyone be as adorable as Hanul? Hmph? Her eyes practically popped out for that chicken. Such contradictory Hong behavior is off the charts. “Anyway, Seowon, if you tease Hong one more time, you’re in for it. Everyone else might, but never you. Understood?” “Yes...” “And you, too, Hong.” “Yes...” “Who told you to change the company’s established concept on your own? We've said your figure is perfect as it is, so just maintain it, haven't we?” “Y-yes...” “They’re making costumes to fit your size right now; they’d have to start all over.” “I’m s-sorry. I won’t do it again...” “And Alia.” “Yes?” “Go kneel in the corner with your hands up.” “But why, Moonyun! Alia didn’t do anything wrong! I’ve only been dragged along the floor!” “Oh, I just remembered you snooped through my phone call logs.” "I'm really sorry... I've committed a grave sin." Who would've thought Seowon and Riya could be tamed like this? Feigning anger, I inwardly chuckled at their diminished demeanor. "Sigh, I came with good news, but seeing the way you guys are behaving, I don’t feel like sharing it." Silence ensued. "Yona. Should I tell them or not?" "Please, tell us..." At Yona's timid response, I tossed the news as if doing them a favor. "We got invited to the Military Consolation Train." "Kyah!" Before I could even finish speaking, Eunbit let out a pterodactyl-like scream, and all five of them began jumping up and down. "I love soldiers so much!" "Let's do a female soldier special!" "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh!" "Does this mean we get to eat military meals?" In all my life, have I ever seen anyone, male or female, be this thrilled about the army? Even Riya, who is usually wary of men, has a soft spot for soldiers and police officers. The Upkick Girl members were over the moon, planning how they could give back to the soldiers, and they remained elated for days. *** "It went live!" "Quick, click, click!" With the launch of the Replay Girl website, teaser videos for the 15 teams were unveiled. For the next two weeks, a first impression voting session would take place based on these teasers. Rankings would update every hour, making the initial hour crucial. Casual viewers would naturally focus on the teams leading the ranks. Along with the rest of the team at Hum Hum, I messaged friends with a pre-written text as soon as the website launched, encouraging them to check out Upkick Girl’s performance video. Awe, sheer awe! "Our girls are unrivaled when it comes to talent." "But ultimately, it’ll come down to the popularity contest, right?" An hour later... The first set of rankings was released. As expected, Teenagers and Love One, groups from the same company with an existing boy band, occupied the 1st and 2nd spots. This much was anticipated. The issue was the third place. "What? Eye Contact got over 3,000 votes?" "This reeks of manipulation." Eye Contact had claimed the 3rd spot. As a result, our Upkick Girl was in the 4th position. Eye Contact, with a weak fandom and average performances, being 3rd was suspicious to everyone. However, it later became clear that Eye Contact's ranking was not due to manipulation but was the result of an unforeseen factor—an exploit. Riding on this loophole, Eye Contact impressively, or rather luckily, climbed to the 1st spot on the first day. < Teaser Performance Revealed, Who's Number 1? > End