148 - Upki Girl

< Sexiopath Yoo Eun-bit > "Hello, this is Jung Ah-yoon, an editor from Maxim Korea." Her voice melted smoothly! Just hearing it could make you want to rip off your clothes and pants; such is the allure of this editor... But that's not what's important here. The tantalizing headline "Female Celebrity XXX in Maxim Photoshoot" is irresistible bait for any Korean man. Even when you know it's not true, your body reacts first. It's bewitching. I've had a fair share of moments too, trembling in anticipation while surfing communities as part of Upkick Girls’ monitoring. The reason I can't help but react is that the name in the headline is someone who you would never expect to see as a model in Maxim magazine. The allure grows stronger because you know it's not true. Clicking with that lingering hope, only to find... of course, it's a refined and elegant Maxim coffee mix model, leaving you cursing the post author: "Curse you, rogue! Why, you rascal!" In this age where a single click can get you any adult video, what is it about a magazine photoshoot that teases our hearts so much, despite revealing nothing tantalizing? Without a doubt, the Maxim editorial team is a national treasure for understanding precisely the parts that would make men tingle. The word "Maxim" carries a dual meaning in Korea, either bringing laughter or tears to a man's heart. The Maxim in the phone call now was the one that promised such tingling. The editor, who introduced herself as Jung Ah-yoon, complimented the Upkick Girls and the 21st Division Maxim episode, saying she found it thoroughly entertaining. She expressed her newfound admiration for the Upkick Girls team. "We have a section on the Maxim website for cover model recommendations." "Oh, really?" "Yes, and recently, there have been many recommendations for the Upkick Girls members." "It seems the impact of the morale-boosting tour was quite significant." "Of course. Our main readership consists of military personnel." "But doesn't it feel a bit like teasing?" They say fans often reflect the personality of the artist they follow. Perhaps because Upkick Girls are naturally full of quirky charm, their fan cafe is filled with talented and playful fans, which made me wonder if they were just joking. "No way, go check the site yourself. Readers are sincerely requesting it." She formally requested Hong Yi and Yona to be cover models for the upcoming month, and I told her I’d discuss it with the members before getting back to her. Then, I informed the girls practicing in the dance studio. Eun-bit, the most eager among them to grace the Maxim cover, reacted first. "Wow, amazing! Dreams do come true when you truly desire them! My prayers have been answered! Eight cylinders! Eight cylinders!" Eun-bit had developed a habit of turning her 113-bead rosary every morning, a practice she had picked up during a temple stay. She had been wishing for a Maxim photoshoot since the morale-boosting tour. She knelt with a pose reminiscent of the soccer player Park Joo-young, hands in prayer, trembling with joy. "Thank you, Buddha! Buddha hands-up! Let’s chant together! Mahā-prajñāpāramitā-sūtra..." She was so delighted that I hesitated to tell her it was only Hong Yi and Yona who had been requested. "Eun-bit, sorry but it’s just Hong Yi and Yona they've asked for." "Euh... Why? It was my dream! I prayed to Buddha for this! It's so unfair!" "Why blame me? They specifically wanted those two." "Oppa, please, just once, support me in this. I can really do well. I can make the soldiers want to rip off their clothes and pants." "Let's aim for the next opportunity." "No, no, don't say that. Just once, ask if they can add me as a plus one for free... Isn’t three better than two?" "...I'm sorry..." "...Well, it can't be helped..." Realizing I couldn’t change the situation, Eun-bit eventually smiled faintly and slowly swept the floor of the practice room in resignation. I then turned to Hong Yi and Yona. "What do you think? You know what being a Maxim model entails, right?" Both nodded. While Hong Yi seemed stunned, Yona spoke her mind right away. "I don't think I can do it." It was an expected response. Her father would undoubtedly be on her mind. Although they had argued and she left during her last visit home, the very next day, as planned, the Upkick Girls members and staff had dinner at Yona's house. Her father said he would try his best to understand her idol activities. Although she hadn’t told him explicitly, Yona seemed to have decided to avoid any overtly sexual concepts, considering her father’s social standing. Maxim photoshoots, which inherently carry overtones of male sexual fantasy, were a no-go. "What about you, Hong Yi?" "I, I... um..." Hesitant, she asked for my opinion instead. "What do you think, director?" "Well, it has its pros and cons, but for you, Hong Yi, I don’t see any harm in giving it a try. As long as your mother approves." "I do want to try it, but..." "There's no rush. Talk it over with your mom and take your time." "I've decided. I want to do it." "We have until the end of today to respond, so there's no rush. Discuss it with the other members, too." Hong Yi's decision remained unchanged. After talking it through, everyone agreed that showing a wholesome form of sexiness wouldn’t be a bad opportunity for her. Even CEO Yeom and the other staff had positive reactions. They assured me that if the photoshoot was too provocative, we could negotiate the level of exposure. Hong Yi’s mother gave her approval, saying she trusted the company and Hong Yi's judgment when it came to her entertainment career. I called Jung Ah-yoon to inform her that only Hong Yi would be available. However, her response was somewhat ambiguous. "Uh... We're planning four versions of the next month's cover, each with contrasting concepts featuring two shots per member. Ideally, we’d need two members. Is there no possibility of including another member? As long as they're not a minor..." Ugh, do I ask or not? The remaining members are Eun-bit and Seo-won... Eun-bit doesn’t really fit the sexy concept, and Seo-won… well... “I’ll do it.” The moment I asked, Seo-won eagerly accepted the opportunity as if she’d been waiting for it. It seemed like the Seo-won and Hong Yi duo would be set, but... “Whoa, you startled me. Why are you standing like that?” Turning my head, I saw Eun-bit gazing at me with a forlorn expression, much like a disheartened character from a drama. Murmuring with a melancholic gaze, she said, "Director Kim... I want to be a Maxim model..." "Eun-bit, I think it’s better for you to avoid a sexy concept based on your image." “Why not?” “Sigh, I haven’t mentioned it before to spare your feelings, but honestly, you doing sexy is like creamy miso pasta—it just doesn’t fit.” "Chuchupó, that’s a bit harsh, isn’t it? Remember words hold power too. It must sting to hear that harsh truth." Yeah, you just confirmed it. Eun-bit's lower lip quivered slightly. Lia tried to offer some comfort. “Don’t be too disheartened, Bit-bit unnie. Even if creamy miso pasta doesn't work, who cares if it’s crazy pasta? The world is vast with diverse tastes, and someone might like it. Even just Aliya loves your flat...” “Kyaaa! I'm not flat!” With that outburst, Eun-bit’s spirit returned, refusing to accept the one-sided exclusion and suggesting we leave it to the editor’s judgment instead. “If they choose Seo-won unnie, I'll gracefully step back. An opportunity should be fair, right? Right, oppa?” Editor Jung Ah-yoon said either candidate would be fine. Although I subtly pushed for Seo-won, she suggested letting Eun-bit show a new side of herself could be refreshing. Photographers sometimes draw creative inspiration from unexpected sources. "When we discussed internally, if it ends up being Eun-bit, the contrast with Hong Yi would be intriguing—Hong Yi with a sensual, classic sexiness and Eun-bit with a fresh, pure vibe. Seo-won could portray a decadent, dreamy aura." A major meeting erupted in the office. When I relayed Jung Ah-yoon's opinion, Eun-bit confidently delivered her piece to everyone. “Experts do see things differently. See, that’s what I’ve been thinking too. Sexy doesn’t always have to be like Hong Yi or Yona unnie. Sometimes, what seems unlikely can look even sexier. Like Senior Lee On.” Seo-won countered immediately. “But you’re not Lee On, Eun-bit.” “Why not? My fair skin and slim figure are similar.” “That’s why they say you have a childlike figure.” “T-that goes for unnie too.” “Hey, you and I are different. My slender build has an inherent quality. If anything, I’m closer to Lee On.” Seo-won wasn’t backing down either, eager to claim her spot. Eventually, the decision came down to a vote. Anonymously, from the staff and members via their group chat. “If you lose, you don’t bring it up again, Eun-bit.” “Yeah. I’ll admit defeat gracefully since it’s a fair vote.” With members excluding herself, three from Upkick Girls, seven employees, and one lesson student, a total of 12 people participated in the vote. Before announcing, I took a peek at the results. Ugh. The margin was embarrassingly large. There was no surprise. "10 to 2, Seo-won wins. Overwhelming victory." Even as she won, Seo-won shook her head, looking displeased, while Eun-bit honored her promise, clapping for the winner. “Congratulations, Seo-won unnie.” “Ugh, even winning feels awkward. Just take the spot. It’s not that serious.” “No, doing so would be killing me twice over. Please be sexy enough for both of us.” The short thrill of tension dissipated, and I informed Jung Ah-yoon that Seo-won was confirmed. "Bit-bit unnie, I was one of the votes for you. I thought you’d get zero, so I voted, but someone else did too." "I-it was me. I also thought you’d get zero and voted..." So much for the anonymity. Hong Yi and Ria both voted for Eun-bit out of sympathy. “Haha, what! So, without those sympathy votes, it's technically 12 to zero! So harsh!” Eun-bit couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity. Then CEO Yeom asked. “Yoo Eun-bit, why are you so fixated on being sexy? You suit the cute concept just fine.” “Awh, men like sexy things, don’t they?” “Depends on the person.” “So, CEO Yeom, do you dislike sexy?” “Well, I like it better than not sexy.” "See? Yoon-ho oppa is totally a sexy maniac." Whoa, why is the spotlight suddenly on me? "Me? What makes you say that?" "I know what's on that external hard drive in your desk drawer." Gulp. People who had begun to return to their tasks stopped and focused on Eun-bit. I quickly shot back, "What hard drive? I don’t use one." "Oh, come on, you know, that giant one at your house in Mokdong." Gulp! "Why... why are you poking around other people's things?" "I didn’t mess with it. I just saw it plugged in once." "What, what was it? You’re not saying it was filled with, uh, adult videos, are you?" Yona asked, and Eun-bit knitted her brow thoughtfully. "It's quite a lot, honestly. The entire drive is packed with them, meticulously organized by actress." "I’ve heard that guys often collect those." Yona, every time you speak with such seasoned experience, the director here gets a little scared. Yona’s name might as well mean "mysterious", "eerie", or "bewitching". "I-I've never seen those before..." "It’s okay, Hong-hong unnie. I first saw them thanks to oppa's hard drive. I was surprised by how pretty all the actresses were." I do have a particular taste. "Wasn’t there a lot of that actress, Ai..." No, no, not "Ai", it’s Airi Suzumura. I once had quite the affection for her. “What era are you people from?" "Have you seen them, Seo-won?" "Never mind, why am I discussing this with kids?" As the conversation turned to adult videos, the guys laughed awkwardly and discreetly left the room. I, too, eventually admitted it calmly and sat back down as if nothing had happened. The kids giggled among themselves and moved to the dance studio. Hong Yi showed particular interest. "If we ever visit your place, bring it along..." "Should I?" "In a way, our unnies are so innocent. What’s the big deal about a few videos?" "L-lia, you’ve seen them too? At your age?" Wait a minute. So, is Eun-bit a "sexiopath" because of my adult videos? From her naive perspective, collecting such videos must have led her to conclude I have a proclivity for sexy women. This goes to show you really must be careful even when drinking cold water around kids. I was tending to my duties when Yeom let out a languid sigh and mumbled to himself. "Hoo... Now, who should we choose as the producer..." He was pondering the mini-album due to follow Replay Girl’s conclusion. We had settled on six tracks, with our company trainers and new composers already offering feedback on four of those. However, we had yet to choose a composer for the crucial title track. Upkick Girl’s growing recognition meant we could now approach A-list producers, but choosing one posed its own set of challenges. The concept of the entire album rests on the title track, necessitating a cautious decision. Most A-list producers complete their assignments upon acceptance, leaving little room for revisions other than a couple of tweaks within the given reference framework. I asked Yeom, who was clicking his tongue in thought. "Any word from the composer next door?" "He said he'd send something when he had it ready, but there's been no news yet." The "composer next door", who wrote the lyrics for Yona’s solo ‘OPEN’ and composed Upkick Girl’s title track ‘Hug Me’, had a somewhat eccentric personality that drew me to him for some reason. Even though "Hug Me" didn’t become a runaway hit like "Red Shadow" in the original timeline, it consistently climbed back into the charts whenever Upkick Girl gained attention, indicating the song itself was solid. Much like how the Upkick Girl members and I were connected by a purple aura, I felt a similar bond of destiny with him. It seems my instincts weren’t wrong. The moment his name passed my lips, a message arrived. As usual, it was a curt message straight to the point without any greeting. Neighbor Composer [Had a sudden inspiration and sketched something out in 30 minutes. Give it a listen.] Neighbor Composer [Inspired by the image of Upkick Girl members enveloped in a purple light.] Neighbor Composer [(Violet.mp3)] < Sexiopath Yoo Eun-bit > End