163 - Upki Girl

< [‘Kim Yoon-ho’ has stopped thinking] > The Upkey Girls, the hopeless quintuplets, have shown up! Aliya, who revels in her supreme autonomy and an “I am my own way” attitude, perched atop absolute power. “A singer can drop by to watch their manager's blind date. It’s no problem, right?” Then there’s Han Seowon, who takes everything further without lacking anything. “Exactly. We can even join them on their honeymoon.” Yona raises suspicions that she might be the true mastermind subtly encouraging the two. “The sisters’ new cover is stunning. I should’ve tried convincing Dad to let me join in.” The most clueless are Yoo Eun-bit and Yeon Hong, who follow along with goofy grins, unaware of the trouble they’re inviting. “Sis, I want to do a Maxim photoshoot too. I’m fine with semi-nude, by the way—is there no way?” “Manager, can I have a caramel macchiato? I’m thirsty, hehe…” Jung Ah-yoon casts bewildered glances over the five girls, struggling to make sense of it all. Eventually, her gaze lands on me, and she leans in, eyeing people around us before asking worriedly, “Is it okay to be so conspicuous? People are probably going to notice us...” The cafe on the second floor of busy Nonhyeon-dong was nearly packed. It’s hardly surprising that five young women gathered here were drawing attention. Moreover, these girls are part of a girl group frequently hitting the trending searches, making it inevitable that they capture more than just glances. Though we’re past the days when people would rush over to greet celebrities, our presence subtly steered conversations in our direction. People were glancing at us, whispering among themselves. “It’s okay. We like it when people recognize us.” It was Eun-bit who answered Jung Ah-yoon’s worried inquiry. “We didn’t wear masks on purpose. We're betting on who’ll get recognized the most today.” Is that so? Despite it being her first meeting with Jung Ah-yoon, Eun-bit easily slid next to her and started her charm offensive, as expected from a master at being friendly. “Sis, I really want to do a Maxim shoot. I can handle it. I don’t even need the modeling fee—please, just one chance?” Jung Ah-yoon, returning from a momentary mental lapse, lights up, glad to meet someone they talked about during the cover shoot. “There’s a fan of yours in our team, really big one.” “Really? They must have a good eye. By the way, what perfume are you wearing, sis?” “Why?” “It smells phenomenal, like something you want to savor.” Jung Ah-yoon stifles a chuckle at Eun-bit’s cheeky comment. Aliya, sniffing slightly in her direction, promptly identifies the fragrance. “Lanvin Jeanne Women Eau de Parfum.” “Yes, that’s correct.” “Aliya likes that scent a lot, by the way.” “Oh, I see~” Jung Ah-yoon had no choice but to accept the situation—or at least pretend to, given the atmosphere. She glances around and remarks to me, “Shouldn’t we move to another table? There’s no place to sit.” At the four-seat table, Eun-bit had settled next to Jung Ah-yoon, and Seowon beside me. “Aren’t there open seats inside?” Feeling sorry for the three left standing, Jung Ah-yoon got up to look for empty seats. “No, they’ll leave soon.” I cut in firmly and asked Yona, “Yona, can you take the others…” “Hello?” This brat... Feigning answering a call, Yona turned her back on me. “Riya, sit on her lap.” “Oh yay.” Eun-bit placed Riya on her lap. “Excuse me, could you scoot over a bit?” Hong edged onto Seowon’s chair. “Hey, it’s tight, pig. Sit on your bag on the floor.” “We can share. Friends are supposed to split even a bean.” “You’d kill a friend if they didn’t share, wouldn’t you?” “What are you talking about? Members shouldn’t backbite. It’s just a bean, meat would be different.” “Hey, don’t push.” “I’m barely taking up a third of the seat here. Can't you see this side is literally in the air?” “Your hips take up space easily…” Despite claiming otherwise, Hong playfully pretended to be pushed, perching herself slightly on my knee. “See, I have no choice but to sit on the manager’s lap.” Sigh, with all these people around, there’s no way I can just shove her off... The duo of Eun-bit and Riya kept at the perfume discourse with Jung Ah-yoon, and Yona had fetched an extra chair to sit loftily at the head of the table. [‘Aliya’ is pleased with this view] “Wow, Yonna, center stage instinct over here is something else.” Fortunately, the table right beside us wasn’t paying us any attention. Three middle-aged men were engrossed in their contractual discussion, wouldn’t recognize Marlyn Monroe if she were resurrected, let alone us. Nevertheless, at some distance, a few tables were muttering about us. From one of these, five guys by the window, seemingly in the same age range as our girls, their voices were distinctly audible from the start. Two of them were undoubtedly familiar with the Upkey Girls, while the remaining three had a vague idea. “It’s them, the Upkey Girls.” “Yeah, it does seem like it.” “They're taller than I thought.” “Who are the Upkey Girls?” “Weren’t those the ones caught up in drug issues recently?” “No, no, those are different girls. You don’t know the ones who were runner-ups on *Girl Crush*? They've been appearing in girl group auditions these days.” “It wasn’t a win, it was runner-up.” “Oh right, the winners were Choi Shika’s team.” “I watched *Girl Crush*. Who was the runner-up again? Ah, it was Yeon Hong, wasn’t it?” “Yeah, that’s right.” I’m annoyed with myself for getting caught up in occupational habits, monitoring their conversation so closely even at a time like this. “Oh, it’s that team? I know Yeon Hong. Which one is she?” “The one in the red turtleneck and beret.” “She doesn't seem as chubby as I thought. Actually... look at her chest…” “The one sitting alone is Yona.” “Wow, she is stunning... just wow.” “These guys are totally girl group fanatics.” “Come on, they’re popular these days. It’s strange you guys don’t know them.” “You dumbasses, you laughed at the prank video I shared in the group chat. You don’t know Chamdomdol?” “Oh, are they those guys?” “They’re sitting together there.” “They’re so cute. Are the other two their stylists or managers?” “Probably.” “Seeing them sit on someone’s lap like that, they wouldn’t be partners, right?” “Are you crazy? They wouldn’t do that in plain sight.” “In the current world of girl groups with all their scandals, this is nothing.” “Ah, I see.” Could you guys lower your volume? The drug scandal has pretty much tarnished the image of girl groups as a whole. Not adjusting your wristband in the middle of the melon fields is the saying, but having someone sit on your lap in public is like outright stealing the melon field owner's dignity. I subtly slipped my left thigh from under Seowon, sharing the seat with her. Suddenly, Eun-bit, having taken an interest in the group, initiated a conversation out of nowhere. “Hey, would you like us to take a picture for you?” “Pardon…?” “Should we come over, or would you like to come to us?” The guys, caught entirely off guard, widened their eyes in surprise. They had been whispering loud enough for us to hear, yet Eun-bit’s direct engagement left them flustered. A guy who seemed to recognize Upkey Girls well approached with his phone first to take a selfie with the Eun-bit-Riya duo. This triggered the rest to gradually approach, and Eun-bit fully embraced the chance for public marketing. “Anyone else want a photo? We are Upkey Girls, a group raised with your support, currently appearing on *Replay Girl*!” “See, I told you, it’s Upkey Girls!” “We want a picture too!” “Sure, come on over!” The unexpected autograph session had begun. As if they’d miss a lucky chance by not taking photos, almost every table but the older gentlemen beside us stood up to take pictures and get autographs. “You’re so pretty, please win first place!” “Thank you very much!” Jung Ah-yoon snapped photos of these moments too. As Hong and Seowon's excitement still radiated, they planned to post it as after-service on Maxim’s social media. Once the impromptu signing session, which lasted about ten minutes, ended, we decided to move our seating. I intended to send the kids off, but Jung Ah-yoon insisted we all eat together. “What? No, that’s not necessary.” "Oh, come on. We’re just here to save face for our intermediaries. You for your sister-in-law, and me for a friend. Let’s just eat together since we planned to have a meal with the members anyway.” “No, it’s better to plan it separately next time. Yona, before the manager gets mad, make sure you take the kids…” “Riya, didn’t you say you’ve made a reservation at a restaurant?” This sneaky Yona, cutting me off again! Definitely leading as usual even in this setting! “Yona, stop avoiding…” “Ah, I got a call. Hello?” “Bong-bong-bong, this was the plan all along, Aliya booked a restaurant. Let’s go.” Deus ex Aliya. Are we, again, just pawns in Aliya’s master plan? The slight downgrade from bong-bong-bong to bong-kang-kang indicates she’s not completely happy with something. Aliya had reserved a traditional Korean restaurant nearby. In the reserved room, Jang-woo was sitting alone, on his phone. Apparently sent by Aliya for the reservation. I pulled him aside to understand what was happening. “What power do I have? I wanted to text you, but Yona caught me, and then Hong restrained me and took my phone…” “Alright, let’s just go eat…” “Yes…” Inside the room, conversations were already in full swing. Even though Jung Ah-yoon firmly kept the lines clear, she was now inevitably on the radar of Seowon’s suspicion. The ‘Keep your friends close, and enemies closer’ strategy was in full effect. “Sis, you can drop formalities with us. We’d prefer it. It’s more convenient for work too.” “Shall I?” “When I first saw you, I thought you were a model. I was so surprised to hear you were an editor.” “Hahaha, no way!” “But it’s true! Total model vibes!” When did Han Seowon become so slick? “Sis, have a drink.” “Oh, thank you.” Go on, drink up. Forget that it’s a blind date or anything, just drink and get drunk. I warned Riya while pouring myself a drink. “Riya, you know you can’t drink, right?” “Yep. Aliya poured Fanta for herself. When we’re out, we should follow the rules, right?” “Follow the rules, huh… I can’t trust your words anymore…” “Aliya is just worried about Rangkang-kang. It’s been a while since you had a blind date, and you shouldn’t make mistakes.” No, your entire setup is a mistake… “And Yona, as the leader, if you knew something like this was happening, you should ha—” “Woohoo! Let’s all toast and enjoy ourselves!” ...Ignored again. Could today be one of Yona’s notorious days? We all raised our glasses and downed our drinks. “Ahhh,” Eun-bit let out an older gentleman’s grunt as she swallowed her drink, promptly refilling Jung Ah-yoon’s empty glass. It seemed they were cooking up a plan to get her drunk today. “But the world is really small, isn't it? A friend of a friend of my sister-in-law turns out to be an editor like you.” “Yeah, I couldn’t stop laughing when I found out.” “Why would someone as pretty and well-shaped as you go on a blind date with our manager? You’re too good for him.” “Why? I think Manager Yoon-ho is fine. I said he was a handsome guy when I first saw him at the photoshoot, didn’t I, manager?” “Yes.” “Forget handsome, do you know he’s thirty-six years old?” “Yeah, I heard. But he doesn’t look it.” “Do you know he’s a porn fanatic too? Has his hard drive packed with it, hiding it in his desk drawer.” “Pff! That’s funny. But honestly, there aren’t many guys who don’t watch porn.” Oh, Eun-bit, you’re dealing with a top male magazine editor here. As if she’d bat an eye at something like porn. With Jung Ah-yoon not reacting as they expected, they took turns embarrassing me further. “Since you said it’s not really a blind date, I’ll tell you, our manager sheds hair ridiculously.” Following Seowon, Riya added, “Yes, the bathroom floor and toilet are covered in curled-up hair.” “And when he watches TV, his toes wiggle like crazy. Then he touches his face with the same hand.” Hong, how could you do this to me? “Our manager grinned quite mischievously looking at your KakaoTalk profile picture.” Yona, please... let’s at least not make things up. Jung Ah-yoon, eyes twinkling with curiosity, asked, “Which photo?” “The one with you in stockings, legs up on the desk. He was all like ‘Black stocking queen!’ Wasn’t he, Riya?” “Yes, I clearly saw it with my own two eyes.” “Oh, that photo... Hehehe, did you really, oppa?” Yeah, to think when was my body really mine? Might as well go out with a bang and turn the tables. Let’s see, it’s about time for a flip. “Yes! I did drool over Ah-yoon’s legs in her sexy heels and stockings! And I don’t watch porn unless it’s in Blu-ray quality and hardcore! I always drop hair in the toilet and get scolded by mom! What else? Oh, right, I eat food like an Indian with the same hand I peel dead skin off my feet! Happy now?!” “Hahaha! The self-destruction is golden!” “Seowon, I think manager is really upset.” “Yeah, let’s stop.” “Yona, you’re the worst! How much did I look after you because you're the leader?” “Oh come on, it was just kidding.” “And you too, Hong!” “S-sorry.” “I haven’t even said anything yet, why are you apologizing! Don’t jump the gun!” “Ah! Oppa is really mad. This is serious.” “I’m sorry, Ah-yoon. Let me just scold the kids for a bit.” “Uh? Oh... okay.” After asking for Ah-yoon’s understanding, I began my reckoning. “Seriously, crashing a blind date? Isn’t that going too far? Especially one arranged by my sister-in-law! Aliya, get on your knees and raise your hands.” “Aliya was genuinely worried about Moo-moo...” “I said hands up.” “Kihing…” Primary instigator Aliya, hands up. Next up, Han. “What’s that? Joining the honeymoon? Han Seowon, you know I dislike even joking about that kind of stuff, don’t you?” “I do... but it was just a joke...” “Mm-hmm. Hands up.” “Tch…” Han, gg. “Yona, you ignored me how many times today?” “Four times.” “Raise your hands.” “Sigh…” Yona being cute. Yona’s the cutest when she’s not being her usual self. “S-sorry.” Hong preemptively raised her hands. Then came slightly annoying Yoo Eun-bit. “Yoo Eun-bit.” “Iiiing... it was a joke…” “I’m telling you in advance, don’t cry.” “But oppa’s genuinely being scary, how could I... huh, not cry…” “I said don’t cry. Drop even one tear.” “Ugh... Ugh... Ukkeop... Hmph…” “Hands up.” “Ugggh…” “What’s with the groans of unfairness? Feeling wronged?” “No, the sounds are from holding back tears. I’m not wronged…” “Manager, my arms are sore.” “It hasn't even been 20 seconds.” “How long do we keep them up?” “One minute.” “Tsk…” “Two minutes.” “Why though.” “Three minutes.” “Hey, Seowon. Don’t talk back to the manager... It just keeps adding up.” “Jeez... fine, let’s make it 90 seconds.” “Geez, still doing whatever you please even during punishment, gosh!” “Yoo-moo, Aliya’s arms will fall off. Knock it down to just a minute.” “Manager, punishment is punishment, but as leader, can I suggest something? How about we play rock-paper-scissors, and the loser takes all the punishment?” It really must be one of Yona’s days. Yona, what on earth has turned you into something you’re not? What’s so important about a blind date on routine holiday… “Guh! Gugh! Kyuhhhhh!” Even amidst all this rebellion, seeing Eun-bit biting her lip, trying to hold back tears, evokes sympathy. “Hng! Hng! Hng!” Tics flared up for Hong, causing her nose and brow to twitch incessantly as she let out soft, nervous coughs, making me feel like a criminal. "Sigh..." [‘Kim Yoon-ho’ has stopped thinking.] [The members of ‘Upkey Girls’ are sincerely troubled by ‘Kim Yoon-ho’s’ anger.] "Alright, I was wrong... let’s just eat." < [‘Kim Yoon-ho’ has stopped thinking] > End.