200 - Upki Girl

< My Dream! > This is absolutely overwhelming. As the officiant's words and the sound of our children’s tears alternated, a ripple of unease started spreading among the guests. It's not only the atmosphere that's become chaotic because of us, but at this rate, my voice might go hoarse, jeopardizing the wedding song. “...Lastly, I want to say something especially to the bride and groom.” *Sniffle... Sob, sob...* “Um... Is my speech that moving?” Fortunately, the officiant had a good sense of humor. Seeing that Eun-bit was about to completely lose herself in tears, the officiant decided to pause the speech. It seemed wise to take a break. “I've officiated quite a few weddings, and I've seen the bride or the parents from both families cry, but this is the first time I've seen guests weeping so sorrowfully.” Siba felt compelled to reply honestly. “This is just so sad, sir! Waaaaah!” “Well, it's rewarding to be officiating such a heartfelt ceremony. Are you from the bride's family?” “No, I'm just a close friend of the bride here to sing for the wedding! Waaaah!” The emotional dam broke. The fact that she said she was close to the bride was savvy and decently perceptive. But the slip at the end with that ‘wah’ in Siba's voice caused the hall, which was already about to burst, to finally erupt. “With all that sobbing, how are you going to sing the wedding song properly? Go outside and collect yourselves a bit. Isn't there another team for the wedding song?” Luckily, the bride had another team of friends prepared for a song. After they went first, I led the kids outside as a group. Even after tidying up our faces in the restroom, everyone's eyes were red. “Seriously, you guys are driving me crazy. Why did you all break out in tears?” “It's not like we wanted to cry. The tears came automatically.” “I was really moved by the bride's father’s letter.” “Yes, Allyah couldn't hold back either at that part.” Siba, catching her breath after crying, asked me a question. “But hey, oppa, who will walk me down the aisle when I get married?” “Ask Grandpa Kim Gyudon.” “Oh, that’ll work.” “Emgot Mmoomwoon, who'll walk Allyah?” “You should ask Grandpa Kim Gyudon too.” “Can't Moomwoon do it for Allyah?” "Fine, I'll give you that. I'll do it." “But do I really need to hold my dad's hand to enter? I just want to enter with the manager.” Seowon’s nonsensical comment was quickly silenced by Yona. “Seowon unnie, be careful what you say in front of everyone.” “Oh, right. Sorry, my bad.” *** “Yes, next will be a congratulatory song from the groom’s friends. I hope they’ve finished crying.” “Hahahaha!” “They are quite the topic of conversation these days. I'm quite a fan myself. The five fairies, Upkey Girls.” Those “fairies,” my goodness. Seowon and Eun-bit took the stage, facing the bride and groom. The reason only the two vocalists sang is because the wedding hall could not handle five microphones with its sound system. Holding the microphone, Eun-bit offered a light congratulatory message to the bride and groom before starting the song. “We sincerely congratulate Jonghwan oppa and Yeeun unnie on your marriage. We look forward to seeing your cute honeymoon baby coming soon. Cute niece or nephew galore!” “Hahahahaha!” With the laughter from the guests, the musical accompaniment began. Eun-bit began Upkey Girls' performance. “It took a long time for us to become one, you and I. Thank you so much for not letting go of my hand. Now, I’ll be the one not letting go of the warmth in your hand.” Eun-bit's clear and simple vocals streamed through the speakers, instantly calming the previously chaotic atmosphere. Renowned as a favorite among women, it was also a popular wedding song, which helped the audience immerse themselves. If Eun-bit’s vocal was a straightforward line, Seowoni’s was a heavy, encompassing hook. Seowon flawlessly took over the ambiance Eun-bit had established. “For those long nights we spent worrying, for the hundred tears, the thousand joys, and the ten thousand pledges that created today—let's never forget it. We cannot forget.” Phone cameras focused on the two in no time. Some even rubbed their arms, goosebumps rising from Seowone’s singing. The first refrain, with Eun-bit holding the main line and Seowon layering a third harmony, made the bride look at Jonghwan with tender eyes, almost pouting. And in the second verse, she couldn't hold back her tears, prompting her helper aunt to offer a handkerchief. Mission accomplished: making the bride cry, as Eun-bit had privately pledged before the performance. “I love you, I love you more...” “My dear~” ―Waaaaaah! ―Clap, clap, clap, clap! I realized for the first time that this level of cheer could erupt even for a wedding song. It was the day I witnessed the loudest cheers and applause at any wedding I'd ever attended. However, the real performance was just beginning. ―Pew pew pew! ―Yo DJ, drop this party party party~ As familiar mechanical sounds and a turntable scratch resounded, the audience excitement soared once again. Eight years ago, it famously went viral for its goofy charm, dragging South Korea into a frenzy of ironic humor followed by genuine addiction. It was the signature sound of ‘Yeouido Tinkerbell’s "Yamuyamu." Riya entered from the groom’s guest section, Yona from the center aisle, and Hongi from the bride's side, forming a triangular path to the stage. Eun-bit and Seowon stood behind them, completing a lineup facing the guests. ―Sexy Turtle Eun-bit! ―Mysterious Fox Seowon! ―Leader Yona yon~ ―18-dish Hongi! ―Dance master Riya! ―We’re the girl group you raised with your love! ―Up! Keeyyyy~ girl! This performance was lip-synced. With pre-recorded member slogans capturing the energy of the infamous Upkey Girls' fighting pose, the guests erupted into laughter, gripped by chaotic hilarity. Even those who initially weren't filming pulled out their phones, creating a frenzy. The girls began lip-syncing their recorded parts with exaggerated facial expressions and charmingly lively choreography. (Eun-bit) “Oh my, where are you looking? Staring at me so slyly makes me tremble, ya-mu ya-mu!” (Yona) “Oh no, a bug! Ha, gotcha! Don’t fall away like that. Just ya-mu ya-mu it. Ya-mu!” (Riya) “I may seem tough on the outside, but I'm a delicate peach, soft inside. Not the hard peach, silly, the soft one. Ya-mu!” —(A wild group dance that seemed like limbs might fly off) “Oompa Loompa! Oompa Loompa!” (Eun-bit) “Ya-mu-ya-mu-ya-mu-ya-mu! Don’t ask or quibble - just ya-mu-ya-mu!” (Seowon) “Such a high-quality, sculpted beauty~ How can I resist ya-mu’ing someone like you? Being like kimbap at a buffet before meeting you, now I’m ya-mu-ya-mu upgraded!” (All together) “Ya-mu-ya-mu upgrade!” (The only live segment, Yeon-hong’s self-written rap) “Hey Cherry Boy, yup! I love you all the way to your curly little hair. I’m the outgoing beauty without an exit. Not that you entered as you pleased, but leaving will be tougher. So give up. I’ll assault you with my charm and threaten you with my body, then lock you in my heart. Not heart-heart, you dummy, life sentence! Heo-doo-heo-doo Yeon-hong hell!” Friends filming on their phones couldn't help but ask questions. "Kim Yunho, just to check, your kids aren’t on any kind of hallucinogens, right?" “Watch what you say.” “Did they have a drink at the convenience store?” “They're sober.” “Then why do they seem so out of control? I always knew they were a bit unusual, but this looks like it’s beyond normal behavior.” I felt proud hearing such comments from my friends. The MC today was a seasoned professional brought in by the agency, yet even he couldn’t help but gape at the madness of the performance. The humor transcended typical absurdity, reaching the peak of whimsical absurdity. If they performed this on a Ripple Girls stage, they might redefine the quirky idol persona of Pink Candy. But it remains sealed away. “Thank you!” “Be happy!” “Yes, let's give another round of applause to the Upkey Girls for their passionate performance.” Upkey Girls' first wedding song performance successfully captured both the elephants of emotion and humor, ending in a triumphant success. After the performance, we had a meeting related to a new program by author Eumsung-mi. Following that, I headed to the office to finish the Ripple Girls practice, and returned to the dorm at 2 a.m. “Great job today. Jonghwan passed on his gratitude. His relatives and company folks said they thoroughly enjoyed it, and it was a riot. The bride’s father, who’s an executive, took my contact info to invite you guys again for a company event. They want to catch up after the honeymoon.” “You too, manager. You worked hard.” “Thanks, everyone. Rest well and see you tomorrow.” Back in the annex, after showering, I lay on the bed. Curious to see if the wedding song video had been uploaded yet, I checked YouTube and other sites, but found no footage. Instead, reactions to the recent foot-washing fan sign event were gradually surfacing. ―Yonglin: World-first foot-washing fan sign, hilarious LOL. ―seanw: Is it really necessary to go to such lengths? It’s rather disheartening. ㄴHagisarang: As someone six months into being an Updeung (Upkey Girls fan), let me say, trying to understand actions in Upjinnyeo mode with normal perspective will drain your mental energy. Just stop thinking and clear your mind. Upmany-upmehoom... ―Neurinsigan: I knew Upkey Girls were crazy, but it seems their fans aren’t normal either. ―tuha: What’s the fuss about? Upjinnyeo just did her thing. ―Haso-ah: Meanwhile, the visuals are indeed impressive. I’m not a fan, but imagining marrying one of them and having my feet washed every day sounds lovely. BTW, not into girl groups. ㄴKim Tae-hoon: Why make it so difficult to admit you've become a fan of Upkey Girls… ㄴHaso-ah: Oopsie. ―Sungkeo-nam: Seriously though, is it normal to flock to have your feet washed by young girls, some of whom are minors? It’s baffling for a regular person like mehaark understand it. The strangest part is loving and obsessing over this, but hey, that's me. I seriously love it. I want to do the foot-washing, too. I’d love to nibble between Upkey Girls’ toes. ㄴKigannang: Your brain's been marinated in hitomi… ㄴRustC: You crazy guy LOL. ㄴRefo: Holding a straight face until bursting into laughter. ㄴk712: Can you even manage daily life? ㄴGamste: Upkey Girls’ agency is known for being quick on the lawsuit draw, better delete your comment… ㄴSungkeo-nam: Damn, tried to delete the comment, but someone already reported it. Who reported me? Come forward. I’ll forgive you if you confess. ㄴHashisi: It seemed like a dangerous comment, so I reported it… ㄴSungkeo-nam: You *&%#@, fall into hell. ㄴHashisi: Look at that attitude after saying you’d forgive them. Sending an email to Upkey Girls’ company^^ ㄴSungkeo-nam: Please, no. The chaos with Upkey Girls and their fans is something else entirely. Considering all this, it seems like our girls would appeal mainly to niche fans, yet they actually enjoy mainstream popularity. It's quite intriguing. These days, I end my day imagining the potential success of the mini-album to be released after Ripple Girls concludes. It should do well, right? There won’t be any ridiculous incidents overshadowing it, like with ‘Hug Me,’ right? Oh, wait. I almost forgot. The most important task remained. Having prepared myself, I turned the light back on and sent a message to Eun-bit. Me: [Are you sleeping, Siba?] Siba: [Just finished cleansing and laid down. Why?] Me: [Are you upstairs?] Siba: [Yes] Me: [I have something important to tell you, so come to my room secretly without the others knowing. Hurry.] Siba: [Okay] In less than a minute, I heard the front door open. I lay comfortably with the blanket pulled up to my chest. ―Knock knock “Oppa.” “Yeah, come in.” Siba entered nervously, looking puzzled when she noticed me lying down. “What’s up? What’s the important thing?” “Well, I’m about to sleep, but can you turn off the light? Now that I’m lying down, I’m too lazy to get up.” “You didn’t call me here just for that, did you?” “I did.” “No way…” “Ha-ha-ha-ha-hak.” “…Still, I called you to help pick out clothes. Asking me to turn off the lights is too much…” “Then maybe you can pick out my clothes for tomorrow before you go. Kekeke.” “Geez…” Like a displeased Maltese, she jutted out her lower jaw and wheezed. “Siba, are you upset? Are you upset right now?” “Yeah, I am.” “Well, earlier, I felt an even greater sense of anger and futility.” “You're being petty… I was just falling asleep, you know.” “Then turn off the lights quickly and go back to sleep.” “I don’t care. I’ll sleep here.” ―Click Oh. I didn’t see that coming. Instead of returning to the main house after turning off the lights, Siba advanced toward my bed. In the brief interruption of sight caused by the sudden darkness, she burrowed into my embrace like a mole. “Oh~ Kim Yunho, your warmth is melting me.” “Alright, alright. I’m sorry! It tickles, Siba, kikikik! Stop it, Siba!” “That’s what happens when you disturb a sleeping Siba’s nose hair!” “Heh, okay. I was wrong. You’re such a good Siba, right? Stop fooling around and go back to sleep.” And then it happened. Suddenly, the lights switched on, and Seowon's cold voice cut through. “I knew it. Are you seriously doing this, Yoon Eun-bit? Get out, now.” “What? How did you know I was here? I thought I slipped out perfectly undetected.” “You might fool a ghost but not me. I sensed something odd while trying to sleep, so I peeked out the door and saw you sneaking on your shoes at the entrance.” “Wow.” “Glad you’re here, Seowon. Please take her away quickly.” “I don’t care; I’m too lazy to go back. I’ll sleep here too.” “Exactly, unnie. Let’s all just sleep here. Life’s short, you know?” “No, both of you, please don’t.” ―Click Seowon, after turning off the light, snuggled in on Siba's opposite side. “Oh, come on…” As I attempted to escape, both grabbed an arm and held on tightly. I felt like Gulliver tied down by Lilliputians. “Don’t resist and just sleep. I’m tired.” “Yeah, let’s just sleep, oppa. It’s easier if you give in.” ―Click What now? The lights turned on again by themselves. “I told you not to do this to the manager.” It was Yona. Behind her stood Hongi, looking fierce. The atmosphere they projected was so icy that the playful fairies clammed up, not daring to release my armpits they clung to. “Do you want to come out voluntarily, or be dragged out?” “I’ll come out quietly, unnie.” “What about Seowon unnie?” “Wow. Now it’s outright threats. Don’t forget I’m your unnie.” “But I’m the same age as you.” Hongi’s single line was more impactful than a punch. Seowon got up before Eun-bit did. Not to be outdone, Eun-bit quickly followed suit. The culprits were soon escorted by Hongi, who held them by the scruff of the neck, towards the front door. Yona, her hand poised on the light switch, tilted her head to the side with a smirk. “Good night, manager.” “Yeah, good night, Yona. See you tomorrow.” “Yup, have sweet dreams.” ―Click Finally, peace returned to the annex. Through the partially closed front door, I heard a soft, breezy voice. “My dream.” A mischievous spirit, forever fey indeed! My Dream! Ends.