156 - I Unknowingly Rejected My Favorite

EP.156 #156. The Reason for Parting "Ah... where should I begin this story..." Clover, who had been watching the bubbles in her beer glass, seemed to struggle to find the words. "No... never mind. I must be crazy, talking like this from the first meeting." "No, no! You can't just leave us hanging like that; it's torture!" Doa gestured eagerly, urging Clover to continue her tale. Honestly, by now, my curiosity was piqued as well. What was it? Why did you break up on the very day we were supposed to go on a double date, of all days? Usually, when people break up, they do it privately, right? "Hmm... then... since Taemin isn't familiar with it, I'll start from the beginning." "Yes, yes. Make yourself comfortable." "Taemin, would it be alright if I speak informally just for this story?" "Ah, sure. You're older than me anyway. Please, speak comfortably." Considering she was an older sister figure to me, speaking informally didn't feel strange. "I met him five years ago, when I was about to start my sophomore year. He was a junior, having returned to university after a hiatus." Thus began Clover's tale of romance. What must it be like to spend your entire early twenties with one person? As if she sensed my curiosity, she sipped her drink with a deeply melancholic expression. Clover, a well-known Vtuber famous for her soft-spoken tone, effortlessly painted a vivid picture of how beautiful those times were for us. Even without showing a single photograph, it was clear. The early and middle stages of her romance had been as warm as spring. "So, I waited for him to finish his exams." "What! Isn't he just a jerk? Seriously, sister?" "Ah... after supporting him like that, he just dumped you..." Our indignant reactions only prompted Clover to calm us down. "No, it's not like he suddenly met someone else or anything like that." Her revelation was enough to stop our excitement in its tracks. "The issue started when I became a streamer." "A streamer? Why?" "Because he truly cared for me." Understanding what she meant by 'truly cared' didn't take long. "He wanted to marry me." The thought seemed so distant to us, as a couple not even a year into our relationship. "Isn't it strange? After dating so long, wouldn't it be weirder not to think about marriage?" The wry smile she gave voiced her complex emotions. "As a teacher, he wanted me to become a teacher too. And initially, I planned to." "But then, almost as if fate played a trick, as graduation approached, I found internet broadcasting incredibly fun." "I was obsessed, staying up late into the night. It was a whole new and exciting world for someone who'd lived unaware of it." "So, I thought, let's just delay graduation by half a year and try this out.” "I figured it's something I'd never get the chance to do again if not as a student." Oh... the suspense... Knowing the ending didn’t lessen the tension; Clover's story was captivating. "At first, he supported me. He said to give it a try, do it so you don't regret it." "But... it turned out to be much more fun than I anticipated." I glanced at Doa. She was munching on peanuts with both hands, like a hamster. "I even started to make a decent living from it. It wasn’t as much as now, but during my personal broadcast days, I could cover my expenses." "Then one day." Tears streamed softly down Clover's cheeks. "I still remember it clearly." "It was the middle of the rainy season." Taking a moment for composure, she continued. "He asked me how long I planned to keep doing it." "When I asked why, he asked if I intended to stay a streamer." "Would I not be returning to school this fall?" "So I told him honestly, this thing I'm doing now, it's much too fun, and I want to continue for a bit longer." "But he looked at me with such a cold expression and said this." [I prefer the person Shin Seo-jung over the streamer Clover.] [We talked about becoming a teaching couple. You enjoyed being a streamer for more than half a year, didn’t you?] [But you’ll continue to live like that? Earning little from random guys, flirting online?] [I endured because you said you liked it. But I never liked your broadcasting!] [Get real, Seo-jung. Do you think our parents would approve of the marriage if they knew?] [Why! Why must you do this, forsaking a secure job with a lifetime pension!] My nails found themselves being chewed. Even though I wasn’t the one being scolded, I couldn't help but be engrossed. Doa seemed just as involved, gripping my thigh tightly. "So... what happened next...?" "It wasn’t good... it wasn't bound to end well..." Constant arguments followed every meeting. But they couldn’t break ties due to their attachment. Clover, yearning to pursue her dream as a streamer, and her boyfriend, grounded in reality, trying to win her back. Two people unable to bridge their gap. Had she not gained popularity as a streamer, it might have been different, but as Clover grew more successful on Closer, quitting was no longer an option. "So today, I wanted to meet you both." "Us... together?" "I wanted to show that I was doing well with my colleagues." "It would have been nice if Jennifer, being the senior, were here, but she doesn't have a boyfriend..." What comforting words could I offer? With my inadequate skills in offering comfort, I couldn't think of anything to soothe her heart. It's not like I could suggest, "Why not marry a wealthy Clover fan?" "Not all streamers are mindless or foolish people like some might think..." The empty seat next to Clover felt even more vacuous. "Aha... I'm sorry. Ah, really... I'm sorry... you guys..." Apologizing once more, perhaps regretting sharing such a heavy story, she spoke to us again. "No, no, it's okay, unnie. Please, don’t cry..." Doa, already tearing up, got up and enveloped Clover in a warm hug. Suddenly, the scene turned into an emotional mess with tears flowing everywhere. I turned my head to look out the window opposite them. On such a beautiful spring day. It's almost tragically undeserved. Clover shook as her emotions overflowed. Doa held her hand tightly. My throat kept drying up, prompting me to chug down the beer I didn't even like. As I felt the gentle buzz of alcohol creeping into my face, the two of them slowly regained their composure. "Ah... Taemin, I'm really sorry..." Her face was a mess from crying. "No, it's fine. Really." "D-Do you think we should be going now?" Clover apologized for causing a scene, and letting Doa support her, she stepped outside. "Hey, I'll take unnie back to her place." "Yeah, go ahead. Take your time if you need to." "Got it. Thanks." "Call me when you’re on your way back home." After seeing them off at the bus stop, I could only watch as the bus carried them away. "Damn..." No matter how hard I tried to forget, Clover’s tear-streaked face lingered vividly in my mind. I kept replaying her words in my head. While it wasn’t about us, I couldn’t help but try to relate. If Doa wanted to continue as a streamer indefinitely— If she wanted to quit school and live as Luka-tan, what would I do? Unlike Clover’s boyfriend, I understood internet culture very well. I even enjoyed it more than most. Yet, I could sympathize with the boyfriend because the real world often evaluates us by similar standards. "How can things be so different?" Unlike my first vibrant meeting with Humming, this second encounter at Closer was completely different. With a heavy sigh, I pounded my chest with a fist to shake off the heaviness, glancing up at the night sky. "Kim Luka." I took out my phone, gazing at Doa’s face on my home screen. Right at the top was the Twitch app. As soon as I logged in with my thumb, there she was—my favorite, Luka, winking with her pink hair. "You know I’m cheering for you, right?" At least from me, you’ll never hear that enduring you is an act of patience. Yeah. If that much is clear, we’ll be alright. Doa called in the wee hours of the morning, her voice echoing across a late-night sky.