158 - I Unknowingly Rejected My Favorite

EP.158 #158. Doa Vigil. "Lalalalala~ lala~ lalala~" I hummed, trying to layer a melody onto it. The accompaniment was more or less clear now, I thought... I wasn't sure if it was because I couldn’t sing well, but creating a melody seemed much harder. With Yoonje's help, I had somehow managed to put together the second draft. There were only about ten days left until the submission deadline. I was feeling the pressure, no doubt, but there wasn’t much more I could do. Creating art isn't about efficiency over time, after all. As a first-timer, I had to constantly make compromises with myself. Still, Yoonje seemed to enjoy helping me with my project and supported me enthusiastically. Living life, I finally saw the value of having a friend. -Knock, knock, knock. “Hey, Hantae Min.” When I opened the door, there stood Yoonje Seo, the guitarist with whom I'd recently been spending a lot of time. He set his guitar, which he carried instead of a bag, beside the bed and plopped down on the floor. "You said you'd come around four. Why are you here so early?" "The professor had something to do today. So, I’ve got free time!" "That's nice." As I sat back in front of the monitor and played the revised version, Yoonje listened closely with his arms crossed. “Hey.” Yoonje clicked his tongue as if something was lacking. “Yeah?” “Are you really going to submit it digitally recorded like this?” “I think the keyboard sounds fine like this. You said you’d handle the guitar.” “No matter how I look at it, I think we should record the drums and bass too.” Even though he had already suggested it once and I declined, he still seemed attached to the idea. “But that costs money, right?” “No, if we do it through my friends, it might be free.” “Still, it feels awkward to ask for that...” Friends of a friend, acquaintances of acquaintances. This might be a common network for Yoonje, but not for me. I don’t even have many friends, and I hardly use the term acquaintance! "I told you, you just need to go..." "Ah, I said no." They suggested covering it by secretly having drinks with girls, but I’d rather just pay and hire someone officially. I didn't want to do anything that could hurt Doa. I already owed her enough when I left the agency, and if I secretly went to something like that now... “I’d rather find a part-time job and pay for it myself. Really.” How spoiled am I? Even with that thought, I shook my head firmly, resolved not to change my mind. “You’re quite the upright guy, huh.” “Yeah, I’m definitely upright. Seriously, why would a guy like me, sitting in a room watching vtubers, not be?” Already outed as an otaku, there was nothing left to lose. “Wow... Both you and Doa are something else, you know.” Shaking his head with an amused smile, Yoonje took out his guitar and started to play the melody. "So, your dilemma is whether to raise this part a key higher or not, right?" "Yeah, even one key higher might sound good?" “I think…” Hearing thoughts turn into sounds was a rather mystical experience. Conveying intentions not through words but through something else. Of course, acting involves many important elements beyond just dialogue, but it feels quite different compared to music. I never appreciated my mom forcing me to learn piano before, but... At this moment, that enforced education felt immensely grateful. My mother, who ran a small piano academy, was gentle with her students but not with me. They say being someone else's child saves you from punishment, but... Without that minimal protection, I had to learn while crying under the rod. “If the drums come in syncopated here, it might feel more vivid.” “Really? Hold on... Let me add that in.” Yoonje, taking my place at the computer, clicked the mouse a few times to incorporate my request. “Playing it now?” And as the music played, with the modified part... “Whoa...” We locked eyes. No words were needed. We both understood that our opinions aligned. “Join our band.” “Oh, come on. I’m a third-year now, what band?” “No, not school. I’m also graduating from the school band, so I was told to make a personal one.” “What’s this about, all of a sudden?” Caught off guard by the sudden proposal, I had no intention of accepting. “You’ve got a pretty good sense. I, a complete amateur, can attest to that.” “Thanks for the compliment, but no.” “Why are you so emotionally distant?” “Don’t you think you’re being a bit much?” How can someone cling so much to a guy like this? “Why don’t you want to? At least tell me your reason.” “Well...” Isn’t it obvious? “Performances, right?” “Of course. If it’s a band, you perform, right?” “Exactly, so I won’t.” “Don’t tell me it’s because you’re shy. You’ve even been on drama.” I don’t like crowds. I don’t like attention. And if I do that, it feels like I’d end up drinking all the time with you and people like you. “I’ll think about it if this goes well.” Unable to be harsh to someone helping me, I chose to evade. “If you win, I’m kidnapping you for sure.” “Let’s see if we win first.” The chatting stopped there. Yoonje continued to work at my place until dinner and then left. * * * Lately, Doa seems to be extremely busy. With the second album prep in full swing, recordings during the day, broadcasts at night. But still, she found time to send me messages filled with emoji expressing all sorts of emotions. [I got praised! Oppaaaaa!] Sometimes she sent an emoji of a grinning cat. [Ahh... They won't let me leave... I'm so hungry... Why... Why not let me go...] She sent me an emoji of a cone disintegrating into dust. Even when too busy to respond, her solo antics in messages always made me smile. [Are you home now?] After seeing Yoonje out, I checked my phone and replied. [I came home a while ago.] A hamster puffs up its cheeks, glaring at me as if upset. [I was working with Yoonje and didn’t check my phone. Sorry.] [Aren't you hanging out with Yoonje oppa a bit too often these days?] [Hanging out? We’re working on the song.] [I’m getting jealous.] It’s funny to be jealous over a guy. [Want to meet up now?] [Aren’t you already full from dinner?] Ideally, I should say I haven’t eaten yet and suggest we eat together to make a nice scene. But having just had dinner, I rolled my eyes and replied. [Well, I did eat, but...] [Doa commands.] Saying that left me with no choice. Instead of texting back, I slipped into a cardigan, put on my slippers, and headed next door. -Knock, knock, knock. “Who is it?” Doa’s voice came from inside. “It’s me.” When I answered briefly, my girlfriend dressed in hot pants greeted me. “...You already ate, didn't you?” “You didn’t see it.” My answer must have been satisfactory, as she invited me inside. “But oppa, I have to head to my broadcast soon, you know?” “I know. I’ll drop you off at the studio for the first time in a while.” “Ooh~ sounds good!” Feeling better now, Doa giggled and poked my belly. “This is my dinner!” From the black bag, Doa took out a convenience store hot dog. “Will that be enough?” “I wanted to eat something delicious with you... but Luca-tan said I have to eat alone.” She pretended to cry, and I felt guilty, so I offered to heat it for her, putting the bag in the microwave. “Did the recording go well?” “Uh-huh... I think it wasn’t bad. Much better than during the 'Boundary' sessions.” “Won’t you give me a sneak peek of the song?” Doa sometimes shared insider information with me, but this time she didn’t let me hear even a sample. “Nope. I want to keep it a secret.” She chewed the hot dog with delight. “But really, you can look forward to it. Ahh... The song is great, and I saw the music video that’s being produced? It’s sure to be a hit.” “It’s already a hit, what more?” “No, no. It’s going to be even bigger.” “You’re headed for global stardom.” “Just wait. Soon you’ll see me on a billboard in New York.” The thought of it actually happening was a bit daunting. “What’s tonight’s broadcast about?” “Tonight, I’m doing a surprise collab with Rover unnie.” “Suddenly?” The name was not unfamiliar, which made me flinch a bit. “Ah... Unnie said she was having a hard time handling streams on her own lately...” “I see.” During her individual streams, she always seemed fine, leading me to think she’d recovered. People do carry their own shadows in life. “She said she’d do it with other members in rotation, but tonight it’s me first! Heh.” “Okay, have fun.” “Eh, why say it like that? You have to watch too.” “Oh. Of course, a collab is a must-watch.” I stayed with Doa for a while and then took her to the studio before coming back and displaying Luca's avatar on my monitor. [Hello everyone, Luha-ruha~] The greetings poured in from fellow comrades. Fans from the ‘Pingdukdan’ club passionately welcomed her as always. After a brief chat, Luca cleared her voice and gave a playful cough. [Ahem... everyone. Today, we have a special guest that will really surprise you all! Drumroll, please~] As the drumroll played, the screen beside her revealed... [Tada! It's Clover!] The chat was flooded with question marks. But unannounced events were always a hit. The Pingdukdan fans swung their cheering sticks exuberantly to welcome her. During the pleasant chat, I nearly choked on Clover’s comment. [You know, I mentioned I went to Seoul recently. I had a meal with Luca-tan then?] [Ah! Unnie! What are you trying to say!] Doa was evidently flustered as it wasn’t something they’d agreed on beforehand. I also felt anxious, my hands becoming sweaty. [Guys, Luca is way cuter than you think.] Hmm. That’s spot-on. A perfect summary, I nodded in agreement.