1.4 - A Story About a Married Teacher Who Becomes Obsessed With Her Female Student

Chapter 1: "The Scent of the Sea Doesn't Reach Me" - Part Four After watching TV with my husband for a while, I realized my neck was about to start complaining from the tilt of my head, and decided it was time to call it a night. "I'm going to bed." By that point, I'd taken in less than half of what was on TV. "I'll handle locking up." "Okay. Goodnight." I turned off the fan, tidied up the bath towel, and headed back to my room. My private room is just an extension of the living room. I don't share a bedroom with my husband, but that doesn't particularly bother me. My room is small, with just enough space for a vanity and a bed, plus a cramped closet tucked in the back. Due to the layout, when I roll over in bed, my face sometimes appears partially in the vanity's mirror, which occasionally startles me. It's surprisingly unsettling to have the sensation of being watched in the dark. I sat in front of the vanity and applied moisturizer to my face. My husband once asked, "Isn't it bothersome to do makeup and skincare every day?" He also mentioned, unprompted, "Shaving every morning is a hassle for me." I responded, "I'm used to it, and I do it because I want to look nice," to which my husband replied with an understanding nod. Of course, not all values and judgments align between us. Yet, when I'm tired, I admit it can feel a bit of a hassle. As I thought back on my husband's shaving routine each morning, I completed my pre-sleep care and slipped under the covers. When I spread out my limbs upon getting into bed, the threads holding my fatigue unraveled and dispersed throughout my body. Feeling the mattress absorb my weight and weariness was an inexplicable pleasure. I felt on the verge of hearing my own sleeping breaths, even though I hadn't yet drifted off. When I closed my eyes, random scenes flickered across my mind. My thoughts came and went like being whisked away by static. I briefly recalled a class session, then suddenly became curious about the novel I was reading. After visualizing some whimsical character leaping around, I found myself watching rippling water from an unknown perspective. At the edge of dreams and wakefulness, where seams come undone and I begin to seep away— Unconfined. Seamlessly. And there, out of nowhere… I remembered seeing Togawa-san standing against a wall. A game of tag with Togawa-san unfolded. Togawa-san's retreating steps were like shards of glass. I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling, waiting for my mind to reset. "Why so much of Togawa-san?" As if removing glasses, I raised a hand to my eyes. Even though I'd just applied cream. Perhaps the unusual events at the end of the day left a stronger impression. To the extent that it threatened the steadfastness of my drowsiness. "…Is it really that much?" I wondered, feeling an inexplicable anxiety rising within me. I craved a cold breeze. A shake to my skin, so I could think of nothing but the bed. Rolling my eyes sideways, I met my own gaze in the mirror. It's difficult to discern what I might be thinking now. But being aware of someone's gaze gradually calmed me. Or, to be precise, allowed me to feign calmness. I grabbed ahold of the tail of waning sleepiness and pulled it over my head again. I closed my eyes. Let's sleep. Sleep and reset. I tried to think about work tomorrow, but my consciousness cut off before I could manage. Togawa Rin. A female student from my class, Year 2, Class A. She's taller than me. Her behavior in class is unproblematic, with a calm demeanor and no involvement in conflicts among students. Even now, she enjoys lively chatter in a mixed-gender group, appearing the same as when we interacted yesterday evening... Is it appropriate for her to behave the same way with both classmates and teachers? That's what I knew until yesterday after school. And now, a new piece of information complicates things. To simply disregard everything from last night and remain an uninvolved teacher could be considered a form of healthy detachment. Plainly healthy. Evenhanded equality. The exact opposite of guiding and teaching students. It raised questions not just about the students, but about what I, as a teacher, sought to achieve. Considering I didn't pursue teaching for lofty reasons, answers didn't come readily. I believed being a teacher didn't just mean creating test questions and grading. Yet, I found myself at a loss, glancing at Togawa-san. Our eyes met briefly, but I quickly averted mine to avoid an awkward moment. "…………………………………………" Togawa-san is always in her school uniform, whether in the sunlight or at night in the city. I thought to myself that Togawa-san would look better in a summer sailor uniform than her current winter clothes. After concluding the morning homeroom, I left the classroom. Thoughts and sighs lingering, work switched into gear. "Sensei," A voice called out as I stepped into the hallway, and I turned, internally surprised. Togawa-san peeked out from the classroom entrance, offering a cheeky smile that seemed to flicker above my eyes. "What's the matter?" "Sensei was watching, so I wondered if there was something," I didn't intend to make eye contact, but perhaps she sensed my stare. Togawa-san, half her body protruding into the hallway, skipped over to me. Her carefree approach and unreserved laugh created a slight instability in my typically composed teacher persona. "Did you go straight home yesterday?" "Yep. Went home, cleaned up, took a bath, and went to bed," She responded in a tone reminiscent of an elementary school report. "That's admirable." "Thanks." I noticed her recount excluded studying, but since I'd already praised her, I decided to overlook it. "Make sure to head straight home today too." "Okay, okay," Her lighthearted reply mirrored her carefree steps. It was likely she wouldn't adhere to it. Recognizing this, parting with "See you then" would be the normal teacher reaction. And being an ordinary person who embraces normalcy, it was simple to know what to do. "…………………………………" Togawa Rin is taller than me. Looking up at her for too long felt dizzying. "If it's alright with you, could we talk a bit during lunch? It's fine if you have plans with others." Togawa-san murmured "a talk" as if repeating it to herself and nodded along. "Sure! Sensei… so, the staff room?" "No, I'll come get you from the classroom at lunch." "Wow, it's like a date invitation!" It's not. "I never imagined being invited to lunch by Sensei!" Laughing cheerily, Togawa-san returned to the classroom. Almost swayed by her smile, I glanced around. "I said I wanted to talk…" I inadvertently ended up joining her for lunch. Well, it wouldn't hurt once in a while, I reasoned, as I headed toward the staff room. In the end, I couldn't turn a blind eye. After all, she's taller than me. Skipping over things wouldn't work. Making lunch plans at school was something I hadn't done in a long time.