2.8 - A Story About a Married Teacher Who Becomes Obsessed With Her Female Student

Chapter Two: "Looking up at the Fallen Star" Part Eight "Of course. The subject of our discussion... Well, I can't get into too many details, but let's just say it was about romance," I confessed. If I mentioned the name, Togawa-san would probably understand in an instant. Yet, I had to separate my special view of Togawa-san from my professional role as her teacher. It was necessary to maintain such discretion if I wished for her to keep calling me "sensei." "Romance... Are you saying she likes sensei?" Her tone was probing, tinged with fear, unable to hide a slight edge. It made me think, "Ah." Ah. Cute. When I think about how to describe this girl, it all boils down to that very simple word. "No, not at all," I began, attempting to say "It's okay," but then paused as my mind froze with the question, 'What does 'okay' even mean?' "...Sensei?" Togawa-san looked at me suspiciously as I stood there, locked in place. And then, a voice called out, breaking the moment. "Oh, Ichi-sen... and Rin." I turned around, a chill running down my spine as if reality had gripped my neck. It was some of my students — three girls seemingly stopping by on their way home. "It's Rin! What was up with you today?" one of them asked. I could sense Togawa-san's uneasy gaze darting toward me. While trying to absorb their attention, it felt like the entire upper half of my face had turned invisible, numbing me entirely. "Student Guidance," I replied smoothly, even though my head and peripheral vision remained blank. With deliberate gestures, I pointed to Togawa-san across from me, not attempting to hide anything. "I got caught and I'm being scolded," Togawa-san chimed in playfully, joining my act with surprising aptitude, leaving me impressed. "A friend of hers spotted her and contacted me," I added with a light sigh, as if to say, 'What a hassle.' Had these students seen me sprint out of school, I would have seemed suspicious, but fortunately, it seemed I had evaded them. "And so, this is technically work, too. Don't worry about it," I said, awkwardly lifting the coffee I'd ordered. "Oh, and... please keep it secret that I'm ordering this while on duty," I concluded with a wry grin, earning light laughter from the students. They didn't seem particularly suspicious and soon settled at another table, allowing us to navigate the situation. "Sensei, you're good at lying," Togawa-san noted. "I thought so too," I admitted. In truth, I was too flustered to react properly. It felt like something else within me took over and handled it adeptly. As the whiteness in my mind slowly cleared, I let out a sigh of relief. "Chasing after a student who slipped away from school... it's not entirely a lie," I said, although perhaps only half true. "Shall we go?" I suggested, sensing the futility in continuing our conversation here. I gulped down what remained of my coffee, choking slightly as I stood up. Picking up my bag and observing the materials mixed in, I realized I'd brought many unnecessary things away from the staff room. I laughed at myself for being so messy, so hasty, and so desperate. Exchanging a light farewell with the other students, I led Togawa-san out of the café to continue our conversation as part of her guidance. However, once outside, I reconsidered where to go next, aware that after-school station areas could be crawling with students. When Togawa-san started walking, I naturally followed without overthinking. To the left of the café, a small slope led downward to a short connecting path, while upward would take us to the clock tower. In the slightly dimmer passage, Togawa-san stopped. The walls of the corridor were made of glass, currently displaying artwork from a junior high art contest. While the path wasn't entirely devoid of people, being in the shadowy area brought some comfort. Togawa-san perhaps shared a similar sentiment. Although I felt we had reconciled, I still couldn't shake the desire to remain close. "Sensei," she called, and before I could ask what was wrong, she grabbed my sleeve and elbow, her grip tight with what seemed like desperation. "I'm not a troublesome girl, you know," she whispered. "Togawa-san?" Togawa-san, who I usually had to looked up to, suddenly seemed to shrink back. Her shoulders slumped, her knees were bent, and here vulnerability was laid bare. "Really, I'm not troublesome..." Please, don't hate me. Unspoken words hung in the air. The essence of this child's being was, perhaps, a craving for companionship. I have this conceited belief that I’m the one who can be closer to that loneliness than anyone else— That’s why... No. I shook my head. "It’s okay if you're a troublesome girl." I said. I want you to show that to me more. While Mori-san’s troublesomeness was just mentally exhausting, I'm actually happy that Togawa-san has exposed her troublesome side to me. I was becoming a very biased and terrible teacher. So terrible, I can even do things like this: "Togawa-san, cover your ears." "Sensei?" she asked, confused. "You have to, no one else can hear this," I instructed, gently guiding her hands to her ears. Bewildered but compliant, she covered her ears, and I placed my hands over hers. "What I'm about to say, no one else should hear. Togawa-san, you mustn't either." Contradicting my own words, I leaned in closer to her face. Togawa-san looked down at me, nodding with a trusting gaze. Saying that she could hear me, I pressed her hands even firmer. "Togawa-san is the most important to me," I murmured. Something shameful for a teacher. Showing favoritism toward a particular student. An extreme bias driven by affection. A tilt so steep, it feels like I could tumble straight into love. My heart was beating as though it might burst, and I was terrified yet filled with certainty. "Of all my students, Togawa-san is the most important to me." Never, not to anyone. These were my true feelings that should never be heard. Cold sweat beaded down my back. Blood rushed loudly past my ears, almost deafening. "Did you hear me properly?" Togawa closed her eyes and nodded slightly again. "I can hear you," she said, as I let go of her hands. Togawa smiled, her ears red from being pressed down so hard. She finally showed me her smile and sparkle. The air that had been stuck in my chest suddenly escaped. "Sensei, you know..." she started, using a soft, melty voice but then stopped herself. "Ah, never mind." "I'm curious now but... I suppose I'll let it go too." Perhaps it's something we both weren’t ready to articulate yet. Togawa-san's steps were as soft and airy as cotton candy. There was an air about them that made me hope they could continue like that forever. Though aware of the potential repercussions if anyone caught onto our current exchange, I was surprisingly unafraid. Maybe it's because I staked my life over a trivial matter during lunch break. If for Mori-san, I could risk my life, then, for Togawa-san, I would certainly risk something immeasurably heavier than my life. Whether such a thing truly exists is uncertain, but the willingness to take that risk was undoubtedly real. "Mm," Togawa-san suddenly remarked, tossing the cotton candy aside and touching her nose. "The tip of my nose is dry," she observed, rubbing it thoughtfully. "Is something wrong?" I asked. "No, nothing," she replied. Not ready to part with Togawa-san just yet, I continued walking beside her without any particular destination in mind. Escorting Togawa-san home seemed like a fitting end to our day. After that, I'd have to return to school to finish my remaining work. Togawa-san wiped her nose with her finger once more, grimacing slightly. "It's always like this," she murmured, almost as if anticipating something I couldn't quite grasp. The next day, Togawa-san was absent from school.