2.11 - A Story About a Married Teacher Who Becomes Obsessed With Her Female Student

Chapter 2: "Looking Up At The Fallen Star" Part Eleven Even though Togawa-san is hiding under the futon, when I close my eyes, I can see her usual self behind my eyelids. Could it be an illness? Lately, when I am alone in the room, I occasionally pick up on hallucinations of her calling me. Could this be a serious illness? "It's odd for a teacher to say this, but... first of all, you have a beautiful face. Your gentle eyes and the beautiful line of your nose are easy to look at. Yes, it's the kind of face that immediately makes an impression. That's what I've learned about well-proportioned faces. And it might be this familiarity that you're so good at exuding. It's nice how your smile reveals a slightly childish aspect in your cheeks, appropriate for your age. Likewise, your tall stature is quite striking. Seeing you in casual wear the other day, I noticed your legs are beautiful—long and quite surprising. Your slender waist is another factor enhancing your good style. It's not right to compare you to other girls, but with your symmetrical features, you seems even taller. To put it bluntly, I really do think of you as a beautiful girl. You have to be quite popular at school. Cheerful, approachable, yet a little lonely and slightly clingy, which is the most adorable thing..." Well maybe not most. Togawa-san fiddles with the hair falling over her ears and murmurs to herself. I found myself speaking freely about Togawa-san. I realized and cut myself off halfway, but honestly, there are still plenty of things I could praise. There's hardly anything negative about her—she's a bundle of likability. I've never met anyone like her before. Even with my husband, living together brings about disagreements. Togawa-san rolls over to face me. Her forehead, which I had wiped earlier, was now sweating again. "Itsuki-sensei, are you, like, really watching me?" Even though her mouth is covered by the futon, her uncontainable smile is evident just by looking at her eyes. "...It's because our eyes always meet." Even in the fleeting moments a teacher and student share in the classroom, whenever our eyes meet, she always seems happy. All of these developments were not good trends. If I didn't cover my ears, I feared my feelings would overflow and become impossible to conceal. It felt like staring down the path to ruin. "Togawa-san, you're watching me, too." "Of course, in class, I always look at you, Sensei." "More than the blackboard." Togawa-san inches her way over with the futon, her eyes taking on a teasing glint. "You’re such a tease, Sensei." "Huh!? ... Wha, huh?" Pausing to express my shock once more, I found I couldn't keep up with her candid observation. "So, you were looking at my legs after all." I remembered how she pointed it out when we exchanged phone numbers, and how I tried to brush it off. I felt ashamed for being so blatantly obvious, nearly burying my face into Togawa-san's bed. "Anyone would look." When a beautiful girl walks through town, your eyes can't help but follow—it's human nature. And naturally, you'd notice because she stands out for having such beautiful legs. I was just an ordinary human being. "Anyone, huh? I don't like that... I'd prefer it if it were just Sensei." Her eyes, moist with heat, waver as if to entrap me. Look, here it is again. Togawa-san's troublesome side knows how to torment me. "...Please get some rest, okay?" I give her shoulder a gentle push through the futon to coax her back to the center of the bed. Without resisting, she lets herself be nudged back into position. The lively conversation almost made me forget, but she was running a high fever. She probably didn't have the strength to resist. "Are you feeling uncomfortable?" "Yeah, a bit sluggish, but I'm okay. How was school, Sensei?" Finally, a topic suitable for a student and teacher arises. Other than the part where a teacher is making a home visit to a student, it was, at last, a more decent situation. "The usual classes, usual tasks... nothing particularly noteworthy." But as I couldn't maintain this topic, it seemed I couldn't return to normal. What does 'return to normal' even mean? "Hmm..." There wasn't much for Togawa-san to respond to. Or so I thought. "Even without me, it's just the same for you, huh, Sensei..." Even knowing she's feigning sulkiness, hearing her say it weighs heavily on my heart. "That's not the case." "Right... after all, you’re a proper teacher." She continues her pout, determined to make me say it. What Togawa-san wants to hear and what I truly feel are the same. Voicing it would mean betraying many people. Yet if I stay silent, I betray Togawa-san. Weighing these on a scale, it seemed my head would tip under the guilt. I stopped being stubborn, my stomach doing somersaults and facing the ceiling. "Honestly, I couldn't stop thinking about you, Togawa-san." Even as I mechanically conducted classes, I saw neither the room, nor the students, nor the blackboard. Repositioning myself to lean on the bed, I hugged my knees, the pose reflecting a sense of loneliness without needing words. The classroom felt tasteless without Togawa-san. I was a terrible teacher. I used to be content, even with such small things, when interacting with the students in the classroom. Now, to some extent, exposing my true colors made it hopeless. "It feels like I'm making you say that." Togawa-san seemed quite pleased as she aid that. "It's the same for me, remembering unpleasant things... but right after that, I start thinking about Sensei, and I kind of wanted to see you. Just a little bit, really." "...Hmm." Just a little, huh? I stared deeply at Togawa-san. Our roles in this exchange shifted dynamically. "Just s little bit." "Oh, really?" "Would you be upset if it were just a little?" Hmm, a skillful response. Not just defending but countering too. What kind of battle are we having? "Even just wanting to see me a little is nice." I feign a model's composure, smiling from my contrived bravado. "Okay—" Togawa-san turns her back on me as if concluding the matter. She remains unmoving. Both of us waited for the other to grow impatient and move. Somewhere in the room, the sound of a clock's second hand echoed like rain droplets. In this silence, alone in a student's room... wait, just a moment. I suddenly remembered there were still tasks awaiting me, reminding me that I had to leave. "Hey, really just a little?" I decide to yield. As I peek at Togawa-san, she smiles with closed eyes, her shoulders shaking gently. "Oh, come on." As I feign annoyance, Togawa-san reaches for the phone on her bedside. After some operation, she hands it over to me. Unsure if I should peek, I give in to curiosity and see our messaging log, with an unsent message left behind: 'I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you' The message, which was left unsent, sends chills down my spine. "I wanted to see you so badly I nearly cried, and I did end up crying." Togawa-san covers her eyes with her hand. As I return the phone to her, my lips move softly—delighted. "It was worth coming."