2.14 - A Story About a Married Teacher Who Becomes Obsessed With Her Female Student

Chapter 2: "Looking Up At The Fallen Star" - Part Fourteen Her straightforward words and kindness push me against the wall of a position I must maintain. These moments are increasing more and more. 'I understand.' Today, for various reasons, facing Togawa-san is difficult. Yet, I still want to see her. I want to see her and, surely… I close my eyes. I had sensed that resistance would be futile. During the morning homeroom, I briefly mentioned that Togawa-san would be absent due to a cold. Normally, her guardian should inform the school, but that's impossible to expect in that household. Her mother doesn't even know her daughter caught a cold. Even her classmates and friends remain unaware of her current situation and likely can't visit her at home to offer support. Contemplating this, I can't help but wear a forced smile. A momentary sense of foolish superiority overtakes me, and I shiver with fear at myself. What am I doing to my students? The children I should be teaching and guiding... I'm struggling to find the right word—but I'm almost viewing them as rivals rather than anything else. I'm competing, in my mind, to be the closest person to Togawa-san, something I set in motion without anyone knowing. My head starts to ache, realizing that this essentially places me on the same level as Mori-san and Togawa-san. Ironically, I've become the kind of teacher Togawa-san's despicable mother talks about—one who gives special attention to a particular student. Thus, I no longer have the right to criticize Togawa-san's mother. Unlike my anxious pace of yesterday, today my stiff legs betray the tension of facing whatever awaits. My heartbeat and footsteps align perfectly, causing a physical ache in my chest. Mingling with this is an undeniable excitement, so despite walking with an air of calmness, inside I am a swirling mess. Although she said she didn’t need anything, considering the future, I stopped by the pharmacy to buy various medications. It seems I've been buying things more frequently with Togawa-san in mind. Could this count as relationship expenses? Of course, today too, I've put my work on hold to visit Togawa-san's home. It's been two consecutive days, if I include picking her up from the café, it might be the third. Such disruptions to everyday life aren't good because they can lead to others noticing something. Moreover, today, my worry is only about half the reason for coming here. The rest is something I shouldn’t direct toward a student. The house was within sight. As I approached, I heard the sound the lock turning, just as I had notified her that I would soon arrive. The door opened, and she peeked out, breaking into a relaxed smile. "Welcome back, sensei." Whenever she greets me, Togawa-san always uses those words. No matter how captivated I am by her, I cannot yet find it in myself to respond in kind. "…Yes." I've grown accustomed to entering Togawa-san's house seamlessly. I take off my shoes, lining them up beside hers. Noticing that the sizes of our feet are almost the same makes me smile softly. "How’s your fever?" "Still there, but better. I think I can go to school tomorrow." As she claims, compared to yesterday, she seems much more lively. Her hair, no longer messy, suggests she tidied it before I came, which wraps my cheeks in a feeling of affection. "Honestly, though, I kind of want to keep the cold a bit longer." "…Why is that?" I didn't even need to ask. "Because sensei comes every day." See? "…I won't come tomorrow." "Even if I have a really high fever again?" She asks playfully. Of course, I would definitely come if that happened, and she knows it too. She's being playful, knowing exactly how I'd react. "I want you to stay healthy, so that's not allowed." "You can’t just tell a cold, 'You're not allowed.'" Even as she says this, Togawa-san laughs as if savoring something satisfying. "Oh, right. Sora-nee sent a message apologizing to sensei profusely." "Hoshi-san… Oh, about that incident." Referring to the incident with Mori-san, it seems Sora talked to her afterwards. Since neither Mori-san nor I ended up getting significantly dragged into anything, Sora probably managed to smooth things over well. "She said she'll apologize later." "No… it's alright. If I meet her, it'll probably just complicate things again, so I'd rather she didn’t speak to me." From how things sound, that person involves herself with many others, and the thought of becoming the target of their grudges makes me feel ready to cry. "More importantly, here. I bought some medicine, so please keep it somewhere easy to find." I handed the pharmacy bag to Togawa-san. "Aren't you worried about your allowance, after buying so much yesterday?" Amused by her high-schooler concern, I couldn't help but feel fond. "As a teacher, I don't usually spend much, so it's not a problem." I'm not on an allowance system, but I said it anyway. "Thank you. It really…" Togawa-san almost finishes her sentence, her lips quirking into a smile before she stops. After taking the bag, she glanced around, then opened the sliding door to the nearby Japanese-style room. She placed the bag in a corner of the room and, empty-handed, reached out to hold my hand tightly. Her grip was warm, sharing both heat and tension. "Come on, sensei." What if this girl were an evil demon, deceiving people into giving up their souls? Even if I had a hundred souls, it’s clear that I would meet my doom. I squeezed back the hand meant for such a devil. Togawa-san likes holding hands. It probably brings her comfort. Meanwhile, my heart races, worried about others seeing us. But inside this house, no one else is watching. So, indeed, I might as well purely feel her hand in mine. Together, we ascended the stairs to Togawa-san's room. Each step up carried the weight of coming to this room once more. With what happened yesterday, I knew something was bound to occur today. Fully aware, I came to this house and held her hand. From the open door of the room, the fan’s sound could be heard, sending a breeze carrying an unmistakable scent. Having been close enough to touch Togawa-san yesterday, I learned something. This room is filled with her scent. Realizing this, my mind feels on the brink of melting. "Sensei, come here." Seated on the bed first, Togawa-san gestures for me to sit beside her, pulling my hand. I place my bag down and sit, and she guides my hand to her neck, letting it rest there. Damp with slight sweat, the warmth of her accelerated pulse tapped against my fingers. "Sensei… I feel uncomfortable from the sweat again." Togawa-san tilts her head, leaning into me. Larger than I am, her weight bears down on me, so I brace myself with my hands on the bed to remain upright. My heart feels as if it’s being squeezed, the beat clamped uncomfortably tight. It felt like something that had nowhere to go was going to overflow from my mouth. "Can you wipe it again for me?"