4.10 - A Story About a Married Teacher Who Becomes Obsessed With Her Female Student

Chapter Four: "Quiet As The Depths of the Earth" Part Ten Before leaving school, I found myself reapplying my makeup in the bathroom mirror. Last night's intense self-loathing had temporarily receded. The prospect of meeting Togawa-san later seemed to have eased it. Now wasn't the time to wallow in self-hatred. Here I am, a woman lying to her husband about visiting a student at home, just to see a younger girl's naked form. "Peace," I replied without expression, forming a peace sign before stepping away from the mirror. For some reason, I was smiling as I left the school. Even now, I couldn't fathom what I found amusing. Yet, today's lunchtime encounter surprised me. As if eavesdropping on my thoughts from the previous night, Togawa-san suddenly asked me, "Am I amazing?" Fortunately, talking over the phone allowed me to conceal my agitation. I had considered, albeit seriously, the possibility that my constant thoughts about Togawa-san were somehow being telepathically relayed to her. If everything were exposed, well, I'd already confessed so much to her that embarrassment wouldn't be drastically different. "You are amazing, Togawa-san..." Instead of heading straight home, I made a small detour. Unsure of her tastes, I figured that anything sweet would suffice. "Hello," I greeted softly, knocking on her door before stepping back. Considering how she might jump at me upon opening the door, like last time, I created some distance. This time, a sudden embrace would be inconvenient. Behind my back, I held a box, hoping to keep it out of sight for the moment. "Sure, sure?" Togawa-san, in her school uniform, tried to leap at me enthusiastically, but the gap I'd created left her grasping at air. Anticipating her closing the distance, I playfully hopped backward. "Boo." "We'll save that for later," I replied. Certain circumstances made letting loose unwise. Togawa-san, left with her energy unspent, retreated by hugging herself. She then mimicked giving an imaginary version of me a kiss, prompting a flustered "Stop that!" from me. "Welcome back, sensei." "...Yes." Unable to fully process it, I just nodded. Once inside the house, I faced a familiar dilemma about how to present the gift. Offering it simply with a 'here you go' seemed lackluster. However, conjuring up an engaging way to present it eluded me. After much deliberation, I found myself at the same dead end as before, resignation pricking at my back. "Ta-da..." I offered, unsure of any other introduction. The plain white cake box prompted an "Oh!" from Togawa-san. Spotting the shop's name printed on it made her eyes sparkle. "Oh, I know this place. It's the expensive cake shop near the shopping district, right?" "Expensive... yes, indeed, expensive," I agreed. With prices rising everywhere, 900 yen per cake might be pricy. Though I rarely buy from there, their flavor is exceptional, so I accept it. Each cake leaves a pleasant aftertaste—perhaps 'clear' would describe it best, melting away like fleeting snow. Unsure of her preferences, I bought a selection beyond just two cakes. "We can't eat out, but maybe it'll feel a bit like a date," I mused. The imaginary Hoshi Takasora peering into the cake box chuckled, "You spoil her." "Thank you, sensei," Togawa-san smiled, the scarf of her uniform swaying as she did. Sweet things beyond desserts awaited me—an acceptance beyond my taste buds. "How about a kiss?" "...Later, please," I declined, aware it wouldn't end with just a kiss. After clearing the kotatsu table and placing the cake box on it, I headed to the kitchen. Though clean, it bore no signs of use—an array of aged kitchenware lined neatly. Shelves revealed similarly unused dishware. I chose two sets of forks and plates for washing. While washing, I recalled Togawa-san's lunchtime meal choices and surveyed the kitchen. My rising anger towards her mother bubbled beneath the surface, prompting several deep breaths. Expecting her to act the mother now seemed futile, nor was it desired. What I couldn't forgive was her causing anguish to Togawa-san. Having set the table with washed plates and forks, I realized I'd forgotten drinks. "Do you have coffee or tea, Togawa-san?" I asked as I turned to face her, only to be struck by an unexpected sight. Togawa-san, observing quietly, had begun to sob, wiping away fresh tears trailing down her cheeks. "What happened? What's wrong?" Panicked, I rushed to her side, holding her as she nearly collapsed. We sat together on the floor, and I held her hands. Unsure of what I might have done to cause this, I stayed by her side, her hand in mine until she calmed down. Perhaps I'll never grasp this feeling fully. Maybe this proximity hints at what it means to have a child. "My dear girl, with tearful sobs interspersed, offers me what I desire most." "Mm," I answer, contentedly accepting her gratitude for the cakes. Though I could guess why Togawa-san cried, articulating it felt intrusive. The air surrounding us, permeating through the wooden house, already affirmed it. Sitting together, I felt as though I'd always been a part of this house alongside Togawa-san. The time we'd actually spent together was minor, but love, perhaps, isn't something measured in time. Or so I hoped. Otherwise, I'd lose in the competition for Togawa-san's affection. Having mostly stopped crying, Togawa-san let the last remnants of her tears fall onto me. "Sensei." "Yes?" "I love you!" To support the snuggling Togawa-san, I pressed my hand against the floor for leverage. I want to protect this child. Prevent her from being hurt. I want to keep her untouched by anyone or anything else. Both these feelings stood as tall as I did.