1.11 - A Story About a Married Teacher Who Becomes Obsessed With Her Female Student

Chapter 1: "The Scent of the Sea Doesn't Reach Me" Part Eleven The next morning, I made sure to pack the glove that had been left by the shelves before I forgot. It was the first thing I did, even before fixing my bed hair. I had taken care of the glove as I was taught, breaking it in. Maybe it needed more time, but I couldn't wait. I figured I could catch a ball without fully committing to it. I also got a ball from the sports shop. Embarrassingly, I didn't know much about the difference between soft and hard balls; though I had heard of them, the concepts had often gone in one ear and out the other. I finally understood that those terms referred to this very thing. Supposedly, this is a softball, though it felt quite firm for something labeled as 'soft.' Seeing professionals throw and hit something even harder than this made me marvel at professional baseball that I watched on TV. As I stood up with the bag containing the glove, I peered out the window to find the morning sky still dimly lit with distant dawn. "Oh, dear..." I sighed. Today, the alarm clock, which I usually relied on, was unnecessary. Don't get too excited. I decided to get on with making a packed lunch and headed to the kitchen. During the various moments before commuting, I imagined about ten scenarios where I would end up in awkward situations with Togawa-san after receiving a lukewarm reaction from her. By preparing myself thoroughly like this, I could minimize any disappointment. "Oh, no glove here. This could be your first step towards the Koshien!" "I'm not aiming for that." "Then where are you going?" "School." My husband doesn't actually play baseball, but he enjoys watching it on TV, especially high school baseball during the summer. He doesn't seem too biased towards local teams and enjoys watching and celebrating regardless of who wins. With my usual bag and the crinkling bag from the sports shop, I headed to school. On the way, I pondered how I should reveal the glove to Togawa-san. Wouldn't it be off-putting to show her the glove first thing in the morning? If a teacher approached me like that when I was a student, I would be wary. Is it a bad idea? Should I back out? I struggled with these thoughts about three times before reaching school. Even during the morning homeroom, I kept contemplating how to show the glove. It's fine to be fond of Togawa-san, although it's not entirely fine. But if it affected work, that wouldn't be ideal. Despite these thoughts, I managed to conduct the homeroom without issue, talking fluently. Maybe I'm strangely handy in this regard, or perhaps there's really no substance to me underneath. In the end, I couldn't come up with an idea by the end of homeroom, so I thought I might as well just call out to Togawa-san. It would be best to invite her to the teacher's prep room as I didn't want to show it with other students watching. "Togawa-san, do you have a moment?" Just as she was about to start chatting with the students around her, Togawa-san raised her head. After checking who called her, she softened her expression with a gentle smile. "What is it, Sensei?" Because she's always so pleasant to people, I can't gauge her true feelings about me. Though she probably just sees me as any other teacher. Other students' eyes were also on us. The sudden silence from everyone who had been lively a moment ago was a bit tough. Trying my best to maintain a calm facade, I brought up my point. "Could you drop by during lunch break?" Togawa-san looked puzzled, and the pause felt awkward. "Oh, it's not a summons or anything." Though I felt like I might have made things worse by saying so. Calling her even though it's not a summons makes it seem personal. My mind spun in circles, fearing further slip-ups if I spoke any more. "Sure. Same place as last time?" Togawa-san's quick acceptance provided a lifeline. "Yes." Having exchanged the minimum necessary words, I attempted to leave without appearing hurried. "What's happening lately?" "Is Sensei in love?" Unable to respond to Togawa-san's playful remarks, I pretended not to hear them and left the classroom. Once outside, I walked straight to the wall and briskly pressed my forehead against it. "What am I even doing?" A lonely echo of miscalculation, like playing tug of war with oneself. I remained anchored to the wall until I grew accustomed to the creeping regret. As time flowed restlessly and tingly nerves dashed beneath me, lunch break finally arrived. Having woken up early, the morning felt particularly long. For someone conducting lessons, feeling the urge for them to end quickly was truly shameful. How large a presence does Togawa Rin hold in my life? I pondered this while I sat, waiting for Togawa-san to arrive. Togawa-san didn't come right away. By the time I started wondering if she'd forgotten and considered whether to head to the classroom, there was a knock on the door. When I called her in, Togawa-san peeked her face inside. I felt a sense of relief at her arrival. "Welcome." Trying to appear composed as I greeted her, I grasped the glove that had been waiting behind the chair, likely creating an odd, slanted posture. Could I not execute this a bit more smoothly? It seemed as though I was catching a case of teenage excitement. "I was waiting, thinking you'd come to fetch me again, Sensei." "Oh... right. Sorry about that." "It's fine." Togawa-san's forgiving smile shone, as if she had switched to it in advance. Togawa-san is always like that—smiling without edges, hooking onto nothing. That's why I might not be able to grasp that which doesn't stick. "So, what's up? I didn't run into you last night." "Actually..." The moment had finally arrived. After much deliberation on how to unveil it, I raised the hidden glove. "Ta-da..." Immediately regretting the "ta-da," my words started to falter. But what better way was there to show it? The glove, swinging clumsily in front of me, spurred erratic thoughts. Should it have been "bam"? Would that have been cooler? Should I say it again? No, that would only layer more embarrassment. Togawa-san's eyes widened. I felt my blood run cold, thinking that there could have been a better way to show it. What should I do? The smell of the leather gloves made me want to call for help. Just then. Her wide eyes shifted as if understanding. Then, blindingly, almost enough to dazzle my eyes. Togawa-san's smile lit up. Her previous smiles had seemed like masks; this was something entirely different. "Did you buy that?" "Yes..." "For a game of catch?" "That's right." Togawa-san's eyes widened further, shining so brightly it was staggering. "For me?" Of course, I didn't possess any predictive powers. But occasionally, in life, moments arise where such a premonition seems to tug at the soul. Ah, I sensed that how I responded would determine if I could leap over the small step in front of me. And it was that kind of question standing before me now. Aware of this, I spectacularly stumbled.