Prologue - A Story About a Married Teacher Who Becomes Obsessed With Her Female Student

**The Beginning** I believe the one moment in life that truly feels like the end is when someone commits murder. With my imagination, that's the conclusion I reach. So, just how close am I now to the end of my life? Am I even there yet? I certainly have the sensation of my toes nudging against a wall, and a pressure at my lips. But the pressure on my lips is soft, and just a slight touch and intake will bleach my mind clean. From that space, the whisper of my name sends shivers down my spine. Dragged unwillingly into confronting my own situation and what is happening right now, I am overtaken by a cold shiver. Yet through the center of that chill runs the warmth of human touch, and the abrupt change between hot and cold made my skin cry out, but even that cry is soon buried within the overlapping sounds around me. If only I had had more leeway, perhaps things wouldn't have come to this. If I hadn’t been so blessed. If I hadn’t been so happy. If I hadn’t been so fulfilled. If I had been more exhausted. If I couldn’t have looked up. If I hadn’t been so committed to my work. If my vision had been worse. If I had night blindness. If I hadn’t spoken to her. If I hadn’t followed her. If I hadn’t noticed her. If it hadn’t been a school uniform. I haven’t killed anyone. No one has been hurt yet. Trying to find solace in the loneliness I discovered. And yet, here I am, on the verge of ending my life. Everything I've gained in my arms is burning me alive. Ten years my junior, a high school girl, my student, in a uniform, with a skirt, with blue underwear, taller than me, a sophomore, a minor, while I’m married, a teacher, off-duty, with a home, a husband, in an affair, with a high school girl, 17 years old, a married woman, with a high school girl, an affair, at the prime of my life, in infidelity, with a high school girl. To gather so many factors that spell personal ruin, all at once. Being with such a partner, in her home, on her bed, sharing a kiss. Even now, the scent of a high school girl so overwhelming that the scenery blurs, twisting my mind in forbidden ways. I still think about that time. If I hadn't had the time, I wouldn't have turned back.