770 - I Am This Murim’s Crazy B*tch

"Ahem. Ahem, hmph. My, my." These were the ambient sounds from all directions as soon as Qing rubbed her eyes inside her veil. After all, it's not a good look to boldly rub one's eyes in front of an elder, let alone before the Emperor himself. Of course, Qing was too absorbed in shock to hear any of it. Why is it zero? Can a person’s karmic deeds truly be exactly zero? He wasn't newly born nor had he lived to old age meticulously balancing his deeds like some arbiter of equilibrium. Moreover, he's not even considered malicious? The measure of good and bad deeds certainly cannot be the sole yardstick to judge an individual. Still, the numbers should provide some degree of insight into one's inclination, especially as one ages, shouldn’t they? Having observed his deeds thus far, I’d expected record-breaking evil karma in Zhongyuan's history. But why? Could this perhaps be some special privilege conferred by the Emperor? Considering everything happens within Zhongyuan, do his good and bad deeds perfectly cancel each other out to zero in this manner? Qing’s mind swirled with confusion. Meanwhile, the Emperor began to speak directly to the point at hand. “Listen well, ministers and officials. Though various trials have beset the land of Zhongyuan, the grace of the celestial dynasty has time and again dispelled these trials. There were uprisings like the vile Demonic Cult, we overcame rebels led by Jung Nan and Cho Heum, and quelled the thieveries of Deungmujil’s bandits... and the treason of Shino and Chibeon... Yet just as mortals cannot defy the heavens, neither could these insurgents…” The Emperor recounted the history of rebellions in Zhongyuan. Rebels who dared challenge the court were all vanquished. “Yet remnants of these traitors still linger to disrupt the peace across the realm, none more prominently than the depraved faction calling themselves the Blood Cult. Their atrocities reach the heavens... consuming human flesh, sowing discord to incite conflict... using grotesque rituals to offer live humans as sacrifices…” The Emperor's speech then elaborated on the Blood Cult's atrocious acts. While it's true the Blood Cult's malevolence was not entirely eradicated, leading to accusations against them whenever deeds exceeded bounds, it wasn’t without reason. The civil and military officials hardened their expressions. An extended speech from the Emperor typically heralded ominous tidings. A lengthy preamble usually prefaced significant bestowals, and this instance was unusually protracted even by such standards. Furthermore, he had not yet concluded. To put it bluntly, with an opening as prolonged as this, it wouldn't be surprising if it ended with the appointment of a great general. “…In these times, a commoner of Jianghu has stood with valor against the Blood Sect’s leader, So So Ma, delivering a fatal wound to repel the vile traitor, all with the body of a lone woman. The courage shown in confronting such a celestial adversary, her righteous spirit, is a virtue all should aspire to. Thus, I, the Emperor, shall bestow great honor upon the youthful hero, Ximen Qing.” The civil and military officials gulped in anticipation. What in the world might he bestow? Simultaneously, they sucked in a breath. Whatever commendation followed such an elaborate preamble, they would likely need to vocally oppose it. “Declare Ximen Qing the Crown Princess, so that all under heaven may revere this virtue.” The hall fell into silence. Even those officials who had inhaled in preparation for protest were struck dumb, frozen in disbelief by the outrageous proposition. Then the silence was abruptly shattered by a sharp voice. “Your Majesty! What outlandish words are these?” It was a pointed cry from the Empress, seated on the right throne of the Phoenix. The officials, regaining their senses, exhaled their held breath in a unified, thunderous objection. “Not so, Your Majesty!” “We beseech you to reconsider!” “We implore you to uphold the honor of the imperial lineage!” The resounding outcry echoed throughout the grand hall, enough to shake all of the 720 pyeong of the Huanggeuk Hall. What— what is happening? Qing, who had been pondering the Emperor's karma, was jolted back to awareness by the overwhelming volume. With the Emperor’s words being tedious and lengthy, zero was the only peculiar number that caught her attention, engrossing her thoughts. Then, the sudden uproar, akin to a tumult in a pancake house, forcibly pulled her back to reality. A courtier abruptly stepped forward from the left. “Your Majesty! Such a statement is unthinkable! How could a mere commoner girl, who is... utterly disgraceful, be considered for such an unfathomable position! How could one think to assign such overwhelming responsibility to such a lowly, base creature?” Insults flew freely. Lowly and base creature? Out of nowhere? Then another stepped forward from the right. “Indeed! Before such a significant affair is finalized, the individual's purity and faultlessness must be confirmed. What if she has consorted with countless men and is thus impure?” Who knows whom she’s been with? Qing’s eyebrow twitched. Now that seemed excessively harsh. “Though she accomplished a feat, she is still a martial artist, Your Majesty! Martial artists are but knife-wielding butchers and bandits amassing wealth through the slaughter of men. How could you even suggest such a notion!!” Qing’s forehead vein throbbed involuntarily. Sworn to have never slain a person unjustly, Qing had only ever cut down non-human threats and collected rightful rewards as payment for purifying the world. But what was this now? Inviting me here just to surround and hurl insults in turns? Did they plan this from the outset? No matter their distaste for martial artists, what is this even about? At that moment, a grim voice, likened to the gnashing and grating of teeth, emerged as though from the bowels of hell—a voice that could hardly belong to a devil rising from the inferno. “Your Majesty. Their words... are just.” This came as an interjection from the Empress, set with clenched jaws. It wasn't just her voice. The expression on the Empress's face was quite remarkable as well. Her face had turned beet-red with blood rushing to it, countless veins showing, and only her jawline was pale from her clenched teeth. Especially those piercing eyes—if the concept of murderous intent were to manifest in reality, it would certainly take the form of her terrifying gaze. Seeing the Empress take a stance, the officials bolstered their courage and, one by one, stepped forward to voice their opinions. "Look at that vulgar display! It's said that women with large bosoms are naturally lascivious, so what should we make of such a beastly form? Even the late Emperor instructed against bringing such a woman into the palace!" The Empress's head snapped toward the speaker. Now with a face resembling a vicious spirit spewing fire from her mouth, she glared at him as if to say, “I will remember that face.” The official who promoted the theory of large-chested women being lewd was taken aback, but... “Your words are wise, Your Majesty,” he murmured, finding comfort in her silent agreement, even mustering a smile. Madam, rest assured we stand united in our concerns. The Empress thought, "That one, I will deal with personally later. Personally." Then, glancing down at Qing, she pondered, "Dear child, this is for your own good. If you were to be harmed, how could I bear it? Though I wish to rush to your embrace, it’s a relief your face is hidden. If a shadow of sadness touched your face, how could I endure it?" But it's all for you. Forgive this harsh mother. As the Empress composed herself once more, “How can we bring someone into the court who doesn't even know proper manners? It's already shocking that she dared to touch her own face in front of her elders, yet how does such a reckless person belong in such a position?” Gritting. “Look at her stature! Women of that height naturally look down on others and disdain them. How can such a woman understand respect? Surely she’s of the kind that would scorn and crush her elders!” Grinding. The Empress's teeth endured considerable strain. Qing, too, felt irritation boiling inside. What? You insist I refuse the position if offered? I’m not even getting any official position, just barrage after barrage of personal attacks! Perhaps I should simply reject and mete out a stinging rebuke to each and every one of them? At that moment. “Enough. Let there be an end to this. My intent was to provide an opportunity for the martial realm to respect, harmonize, and show loyalty to the nation. But, seeing your objections, I shall instead confer upon Ximen Qing the title of Lady.” The officials, realizing their mistake, panicked. It was negotiation tactics: demand beyond reason, then introduce what you’re truly after under the guise of compromise. Demoting from Crown Princess to Lady was a sizable thrice-downgrade, making it harder to oppose outright. Moreover, the Crown Prince's meeting with the Heavenly Sword Flower, his reception despite resistance—all these plans seemed to have led to this arrangement. No wonder the Crown Prince refrained from opposing and instead seemed to arrange matters. But Qing failed to grasp the situation. Conferring the title of Lady? Must one seek the Emperor’s approval to be called a lady in Zhongyuan? After calling someone in, holding them in suspense for days, is the grand declaration “You’re now a lady,” really all they have? Then what was I before? Although, I had no intention of being a so-called lady, as I shall remain forever bound to my manly spirit. “Your Majesty! Did I not say this couldn’t be? How can you handle such a major state affair concerning the Crown Prince’s marriage without due process? I cannot accept such a person as the Prince’s consort!” Qing was startled back to awareness. What is this sudden talk? The Crown Prince’s consort? The Empress’s vehement opposition. It gave the officials cause to oppose. “Indeed! Your Majesty, even if the woman’s merit is significant, there must first be a formal assessment in line with the court’s norms!” “How can the position of Crown Princess remain vacant while a secondary wife is installed first? Even commoners abhor such impropriety, how can the imperial family act thus? The entire world looks to you, Your Majesty!” Qing understood the situation exactly. This wasn’t an assembly to collectively criticize; they were opposing the plan to marry her to the Crown Prince, using every conceivable excuse in protest. No wonder Her Majesty took their side. Yes, good, keep opposing. Oppose even more. Though the festival of criticizing the Heavenly Sword Flower and the rapid deterioration of the Empress’s dental health continued, “This is the celestial will for the nation! If the hero who defeated the Blood Cult ascends as Empress, all the people will emulate her to eradicate the malicious cultists! Moreover, the martial world, inspired by the young hero’s rapport with the imperial grace, will embrace its fairness in guiding the world!” The Emperor’s exasperation boiled over. “How can you oppose this divine intent with outdated customs and misconceptions about a woman’s qualifications based on outward appearance?” The officials fell silent. However, their furtive glances, looking to each other for cues, suggested they were not persuaded and were merely biding their time until they could voice opposition again. Even though his words were correct, they were unwelcome to the ministers. Should they merely watch as the imperial house gains the martial world’s support? It was then. Qing cautiously spoke. “Your Majesty, may this humble warrior have the honor of addressing you?” All eyes turned to Qing. “Granted.” “Such bountiful grace granted to this girl... I have no idea how to fully repay.” Her voice rang clear, crisp articulation that entered the ears as smoothly as any melody no instrument could match. Upon hearing it, the almost demonic visage of the Empress softened into a gentle Buddha-like smile, though this went unnoticed as everyone’s eyes remained fixed on Qing. "However, I am but a clueless maiden, and I believe that the foremost duty in such a great task is for the individual to maintain their health to remain in the role for a long time. If the country's mother were to be frail and any unfortunate calamities were to occur, think how dire that situation would be..." The officials' faces brightened. Ah, it's the sign of an excuse, a lead-up to an illness. Yes, precisely, well said. If the Crown Princess were frail, it would result in considerable turmoil, and heaven forbid if she were to die, it would be said the imperial favor is absent in the palace, diminishing the very authority of the Forbidden City overnight. And Qing did not disappoint the expectations of the officials. “However, I was severely injured during the battle with the Blood Sect's leader, and my qi was depleted. Even if I were to rest throughout the remainder of my life, it’s uncertain how long I may enjoy my natural lifespan. Therefore, I wish to retire quietly to my hometown to recuperate, so please, grant me this request.” “...Is this truly the case?” “The detailed diagnosis was confirmed by the eunuch who accompanied me.” At that, the Emperor turned his head slightly. Eunuch Wi Basin, who had been standing quietly to the side, bowed low. “What the young hero Ximen Qing says is true, Your Majesty. With my humble skills, I determined that the essence-absorbing poison, known as Sosuhan Poison from the Blood Sect, has filled and overflowed her dantian. We prescribed the Sun-Boosting Elixir to temporarily control it, but her condition remains critical.” The Emperor wore an expression of lingering doubt. “Then let us assign an imperial doctor to examine her condition—” “Aah, no..!” The Emperor didn't finish his sentence. Falling to the floor, the Empress suddenly lost consciousness and tumbled from her seat. “Someone! The Empress!” “What are you all doing? Call the imperial physicians at once! Escort Her Majesty!” “Your Majesty, I shall attend to her!” And with that, pandemonium erupted in the hall.