795 - I Am This Murim’s Crazy B*tch

Devour the World of Murim! Previously... The most dreadful thing in the world is food. Therefore, I will erase it from this world. I will chew it all up, little by little. Ximen Qing, consumed by resentment towards food that makes all the cuisines of the world tremble, had only that thought in mind. Driven by a ravenous urge for vengeance, Qing rampaged through the kitchens of Zhongyuan, and eventually dared to assault the heart of the Central Plains, Beijing, and even the imperial kitchen in the Forbidden City. But a shocking revelation, an incredible twist! This dreadful glutton who ate like a beggar was, in fact, of royal blood, a princess! However, possessed by an intense hatred of food, Qing ignored the noble dignity of her lineage, shocking the entire palace with her subhuman table manners and insatiable appetite. Even the kindhearted emperor turned pale at her horrid table manners and ceaseless consumption. In the end, the emperor declared. Such a pig, you are not my daughter. Moreover, he deemed the imperial cuisine tasteless, and offered her a VIP pass to eat anywhere without queuing, begging her to leave the palace. Thus, the voracious devourer of imperial food, who devastated the royal granaries through merciless slaughter, the Berserk Glutton Qing, successfully returned to the world of Murim! The distinguished opinion of Murim may not be so pleased. Thus, having devoured even the rations of the Righteous Orthodox Martial Academy, Qing turned her gaze to faraway Yunnan. Through every city, the groans of weeping chefs and innkeepers who lost all their goods echoed, creating a flood of sorrow. From Nansohyeon in Henan to Deungju County. Through Hubei, passing Luohu County, Yangban County, Namjang County, and Hongsan County... And finally, reaching the front yard of the Divine Maiden Sect, famous not for martial arts but for its beauties in Murim. At this point, a righteous group stood up, declaring they would stop the relentless food massacre of the Glutton Qing. Finally, in Jagui County, at the massive banquet hall of the Seolga Trading Company, standing before a mountain of food on a giant table, they challenged the Glutton Qing face-to-face, daring her to eat if she could... "Ugh, I'm so full. I might burst." Qing said, nibbling on half a fig (remarkably, "fig" is the same in Zhongyuan), using a spoon. Despite the gaze of her companions alternating between Qing’s bulging stomach, the mountain of figs piled up to eye level on the table, and her busy hands splitting another fig with rapid movements strong enough to cut it with her nails. But Qing was unashamed. Fruit is fruit, not a meal. Therefore, no matter how full she felt, she could eat it because it helps digestion, is good for health, and wouldn’t make her gain weight. Isn’t this a truth guaranteed by all mothers and grandmothers in the world? "Ah, Grandpa Ryang. I'm thinking of staying over tonight." "Why the sudden decision to stay over? I thought you saw this place as just another eatery, always gobbling down a meal and rushing off?" "Oh, come on, Grandpa Ryang. Even if I stay over, still the same?" "Can only stay over when it suits? Tsk, tsk." Choi Ryang said, but couldn’t hide the involuntary smile tugging at his lips. It could be because of the child resting her head on the old man's shoulders, nodding off. Despite not having walked much herself, the child was somehow completely tired, although children always are. Yet, a sleeping child who would nod off even while eating made Choi Ryang's eyes shimmer. He was finally enjoying the ultimate luxury of cradling what he assumed was his granddaughter (to himself) into a peaceful sleep. Previously, though he had been starkly different, a laughter-filled Grandpa Ryang seemed genuinely happy with just one night's stay. The customary reason for dining at the Seolga Trading Company's evening feast and then heading to the Divine Maiden Sect is because one couldn't linger in the front yard without greeting the master, but since she wasn’t there... After an abundant dinner, Qing went searching for Seol Ganom, the top intellect among the Three Cities, their greatest sage class intellect. Seol Ganom is now quite the beauty. Naturally sculpted, quite handsome, and looking like someone who might excel in sports, a well-groomed beauty, if you will. However, it seemed somehow mismatched considering he was absorbed in sewing under the lamplight. Yet, thoroughly focused on stitching, what he sewed was the prosthetic chest for the Secret Thief’s Deception. “What’s this? Is cross-dressing a newfound hobby? Have you finally found your true self?” “Don’t say something so dreadful. It’s merely work, I assure you.” "Ehh, another honey trap?" Seol Ganom chuckled bitterly in response. “That's the essence of men, isn’t it? With a brain tied to their... desires, every time they see a woman, they lose their mind wanting a go. You know that well, don’t you?” "I've encountered many such rogue types." “Well, I didn’t mean stabbing with a knife. You know, whenever a man meets a woman, they want to...” “I know, okay? Do you think I wouldn't, given all those outlaws trying to stab you with an actual knife?” “Geez, could you at least pretend to be embarrassed?” Their typical banter proceeded naturally. Of course, Qing was impervious to it anyway. “So, what did you come to ask this time? I don’t quite get why you ask a brute like myself when there’s the Zhuge family.” “What brute? If Seol Ganom is a brute, then the world’s nine out of ten must be monkeys. Being too humble is just a disguise for negligence, isn’t it? The highest intellect of samseong shouldn’t say such things.” “Now, what kind of half-baked logic is that?” “Fine, fine. Do you know anything about the Half-Body Tribulation Sword, Heaven-Rending Slaughter, and that Heaven-Shattering, Blood-Overturning, Heart-Piercing Decisive Strike? Gosh, why is it so long? Anyway, do you know anything?” Seol Ganom’s expression hardened. Qing had visited repeatedly, even in Tiangshan Shenshi to ask about such issues. After all, wasn’t she an intimidating woman who would dig pits and master martial arts in secret? “Even I must admit, going for the World’s Eleven Great Demon Arts is quite... besides, even if you learned them, why pick those three? They’re insane on every level.” "What do you mean by 'insane'?" "Here, I mean," Seol Ganom said, tapping his own head. And then he made a face like he couldn't believe it. "…If you don't know, just say it. No need to make faces. The only advantage you have is your stunning beauty, so why waste your expression like that?" "Hearing that from Seol Ganom is truly unfair. Seol Ganom is not only a top intellect of the Three Cities but also a stunning beauty, so it's incomparable. Wow, I feel inadequate. Just the youngest to reach the Transformation Realm is nothing... no bragging rights whatsoever..." "Ahem. This... truly..." Seol Ganom shook his head lightly. No matter how brilliant the top intellect of Samseong, Seol Ganom, even he couldn't contend with Qing's sharp tongue. "I'll tell you what I know. The Half-Body Tribulation Sword involves feeding people to create a demonic blade, and rather than wielding the sword, you become wielded by it. What would happen to someone controlled by a sword?" Qing wasn't so much interested in what kind of martial art it was, but rather where it could be found, or if Seol Ganom knew anyone who had mastered it. Still, she was curious enough to listen. Heaven-Rending Slaughter is also known as Angcheonso, a sound-based martial art that produces powerful laughter to confuse the mind and disrupt the enemy’s internal energy. While it didn't have the formidable effect of exploding heads just from laughter, if one’s lung capacity could support it, it was a potent martial art allowing the practitioner to maintain dominance while laughing throughout a fight. However, the problem lay in that such diabolical laughter could not emanate from a sound mind. The more one mastered it, the more one tended towards insanity. "Heaven-Shattering, Blood-Overturning, Heart-Piercing Decisive Strike is a mental technique, reportedly reversing the flow of internal energy. You progress from the danjeon, up the conception vessel, touching the upper dantian, and descend through the governing vessel reaching the perineum. Hmm. The perineum. Do you know where the perineum is?" "Are you asking as if I’m a ten-year-old? Why the obsession with the perineum?" For reference, the perineum is a pressure point located between the legs, precisely between the genitals and the anus. “But reversing the flow of internal energy? Can that even be done? You're bound to fall into a state of Qi deviation and run amok.” "That's why I said it's insane." Can it be done? No. Would you fall into Qi deviation and run amok? Actually, yes. "So, have there been any sightings of these insane people? Are they known to have appeared anywhere?" “They’re so far gone that if they showed up, rumors would spread rapidly. Have you heard any?” “Well, I'm not one to catch rumors easily. But surely, someone as well-connected as Seol Ganom would hear a lot, right?” Seol Ganom let out a deep sigh. “If you really want, I’ll look into it.” "But don't go around asking openly. What if there's a rumor that the Seolga Trading Company is looking for the World’s Eleven Great Demon Arts?" "You know that, and... well, fine. I suppose you have your reasons. Hmm. You must have your reasons, right? I mean, you have a plan?" "I may lack foresight, but there's no need to overly emphasize that, is there?" "It seems I need to emphasize it..." Because no matter how much it is emphasized, it's never enough. Qing simply asked Seol Ganom, thinking that as a large trading company, they might be sensitive to rumors and that the top intellect of Samseong, Seol Ganom, might have heard something. However, to the members of the Seolga Trading Company, it was a different story. The Supreme has commanded! This is the glorious command from the Supreme! Half-Body Tribulation Sword! Heaven-Rending Slaughter! Heaven-Shattering, Blood-Overturning, Heart-Piercing Decisive Strike! Find them! Even if you have to scour the entire world! The devotees, who were quietly engaged in their livelihoods, felt an uncontrollable zeal flame within them, following the wise and strict leadership of the Sage-God descended to the mortal realm. The next day, the Seolga Trading Company felt oddly empty. "Hmm. Doesn't it seem quite deserted?" Typically, while wandering around the Seolga Trading Company, Qing was enthusiastically given snacks by the staff. Although she never particularly wanted them, today seemed unusually quiet. "Uuunng. Is it always like this? It only gets busy during big sales, normally it’s like this." ‘Unng’ from Gyeon Poo Hee meant affirmation, ‘Uuunng’ meant disagreement. From what Qing heard, it wasn't usually crowded at the Seolga Trading Company. After breakfast, she escorted Jin Jangmyeong to the Divine Maiden Sect. “Is Great Matrimonial Uncle here? And Senior Jin, too.” "Oh, but where’s Jayeo?" "Jayeo is below. Planning to stop by the Head Lord to pay respects and head to Yunnan shortly." "Wow, leaving as soon as they arrive?" Somehow, the entrance of the Divine Maiden Sect felt calm. Without any commotion, it felt a bit emptier, as if something was missing. Well, that’s because they weren’t around. “Hmm? But what about Sarang and Yeonseo?” “They were on watch from yesterday afternoon through the night. They had a feeling Great Matrimonial Uncle would visit, it seems their intuition was a bit off. They must be asleep now. Shall I wake them for you?” Actually, rather than intuition, they usually receive advance notice of Qing's visit dates through the provisioning route of the Seolga Trading Company. However, this time, Qing chose to stay over. "No, if they're taking a break after duty, let them sleep. I'll see them later." Qing stopped by briefly to tidy her attire and then headed to the Sect's main hall. She paid her respects to Wang Joo-hee, who with her increased presence, now lived up to the moniker of Heaven-Sealing Sword at the Divine Maiden Sect. Taking some time to look over the disciples, she enjoyed a lavish meal, dining heartily on the delicious foods of the Divine Maiden Sect. And only after that did Qing once again set out from the mountains. She felt that it would be nice to rest at her house for a few days, but since she was already going, might as well go quickly and return. “Safe travels. Don’t stay too long.” Jin Jangmyeong bade farewell to Qing. Unfortunately, Wang Joo-hee did not permit Jin Jangmyeong’s frequent outings. Given that he had already been away for over a season. How is one supposed to train if constantly wandering? Unless you’re someone who, at the very least, reaches the realm of Transcendence? Feeling wronged, the only option is to become a master. Thus, after a brief period of returning home, Qing once more set out for the Jianghu. The distance remaining to the Wudang Sect was about 4,500 Li.