831 - I Am This Murim’s Crazy B*tch

If you travel southeast along the road from Gaegu County, passing through high mountains on either side, you will arrive at the city of Hagoo County. Hagoo County is a border city divided into two halves; the northern part belongs to Zhongyuan (Central Plains), while the southern part is part of Daeyue Country. In this era, borders are typically formed by difficult-to-cross mountain ranges or large rivers, so it’s only natural for high mountains to stretch out on either side. Among them, the high mountain blocking the west is Dochasan. This was the mountain Qing had to cross. Drawing a straight line westward from the entrance of Hong River in Hagoo County, you would find Geumpyung County, where Odokmun is located, which is surrounded by Dochasan. However, Dochasan is quite notorious in the southern region of Yunnan Province. This is due to its rugged terrain, but more so because tropical rainforests begin to unfold southward from here. In fact, there is a tendency among Zhongyuan’s martial artists to underestimate the rainforests. Zhongyuan is littered with treacherous mountain ranges, which our martial artists have overcome even their sheer cliffs. And a rainforest? Why would a mere dense forest pose any danger? Moreover, the people from Qing's hometown tend to underestimate mountains entirely. This is because the hills in her hometown are gentle and smooth, leaving them rarely to be caught off guard. In short, because there aren’t any genuinely dangerous mountains in the country, mountains are considered the haven of the heart and even the best places for company bonding. And Qing belonged to both categories. As a master at the Creation-Transformation[Harmony] Realm (化境) with an immune body to all poisons, what danger could a mere tropical rainforest present? bWpnL1VNWWVlR0h2N0IyVWd5ZUJTNjRuS1pHWVRmTExSZ3dwSEtNT3N1UWRvZDQ1V2liRWtKRzVzOWRJem41TQ Thus, Qing sets foot on Dochasan. Today's theme is a woman out gathering herbs. She wears shabby clothes and carries a wicker basket on her back. If she encounters someone, word could easily reach the ears of those Blood Cult rascals. Even without that, it would look too suspicious if a martial artist emerged from the pathless mountains upon reaching Geumpyung County. But herb gatherers are everywhere. Qing was worried about her identity being discovered, not even considering the rainforest as dangerous. Of course, is that truly the case? The rainforest is no pushover! First, the exhausting terrain. The soggy ground and piled leaves force enormous physical exertion just to walk, and the water on every leaf quickly soaks your clothes, making your body feel heavier. Furthermore, the air is so hot and humid that a short walk leaves you drenched in sweat and panting. It's to the extent that those from the far West call such rainforests a green hell. So, how will Qing conquer this, the rainforest's extreme climate, with its one hundredfold irritating discomfort index that is exhausting even while merely breathing? “Oh, this is making my chest feel chilly….” The steel breastplate feels cold. The (寒心公) Cold Heart Art she was exuding throughout her body would typically circulate inside her clothes, but because her chest was tightly bound, the steel simply got colder. Hmm, she didn't foresee this side effect. Ximen Qing versus the rainforest, Ximen Qing scores one victory! However, the terror of the rainforest isn’t entirely over. The rainforest is a paradise for poisonous creatures. According to scholars back home, the harsh land led them to evolve with venom as a means of survival. The rainforest is teeming with numerous venomous plants and animals that pose threats to people. It’s said never to ingest anything in the jungle unless you're absolutely sure, and even if you are sure, don’t try it—since rainforest creatures could be different, the poisonous creature’s paradise indeed. Just as those from the far West called it a green hell... “Ooh, what’s this. It looks tasty.” Qing casually plucks a red fruit whose name is unknown—cherries? Or raspberries?—and pops it into her mouth without thinking. Then, upon chewing, an ensemble of sourness, bitterness, and spiciness explodes, making her scrunch her face! “Ptooey! Ugh, that’s poisoned, no doubt. It’s tasteless. Ew, ruined my appetite.” Qing rummages through her pocket, pulling out a piece of jerky to cleanse her palate. Originally, Qing was an expert at scavenging as the poorest of the poor. For her, poison was a spicy, tangy delicacy that didn’t even phase her blood-poisoning constitution. Ximen Qing versus the rainforest, Ximen Qing scores a second victory! Yet however, the rainforest's menace isn’t finished. The rainforest is a ruthless survival battleground teeming with dangerous predators. The beasts thriving in this extreme nature are, without exception, agile, cunning, cautious, persistent, and thus formidable foes even for humans. And there comes the narrative from the West and their obsession with the so-called green hell… Particularly among these beasts, the most feared one is the great tiger. With its mighty weight manifesting into great power, its terrifying bite, and its ability to climb trees at will, a tiger stalks defenseless prey as the ultimate predator and assassin of nature! Even now, a pair of yellow eyes look down at Qing from the dim branches above! With a mighty leap forward, the tiger propels itself at the unwary intruder in its territory, augmenting its speed with a powerful kick from its hind legs as it pounces! And then, thud! Yelp! Hiss, ugh! The tiger lets out a sorrowful cry as it crashes to the ground. Despite its thick hide and muscles, it has never encountered the pain of a terrifyingly disregarding defensive strike. “Wow, a tiger! Shh, calm down. Yes, that's right. Oh dear, what's with this tantrum? Calm down, let's shake hands.” A fair hand clasps the tiger's outstretched forepaw. Though startled, the tiger swipes with its other forepaw, but it too is immediately caught. Now standing unnaturally on its hind legs, the tiger finds itself kindly shaking hands with a human. The tiger, sensitive and clever as it is, realizes that though it'll never see such a peculiar creature, one incredibly powerful, it harbors no hostile intent and slowly hides its teeth. “Hmm? It’s calm, isn't it? What is this? Has it been around humans?” Qing strokes the tiger’s lush fur. **Terms Translated Not in Above List:** - **Hong River (홍강)**: Literal translation as a geographical reference. - **Herb Gatherer (약초캐러 나온 아낙):** Translated to "a woman out gathering herbs" based on context as this involves Qing's disguise in the narrative. - **Scholar (학자)**: This term in context refers to Qing’s background and the scholarly opinions she trusts. - **Steel Breastplate (강철 가슴 싸개)**: A descriptive phrase referring to a piece of armor for protective context, based on Qing's narrative perspective. The piece contains some wordplay around Qing's underestimation of dangers such as the "rainforest" and "tigers," which by the narrative context, seem like natural obstacles meant to challenge a protagonist. Despite these, Qing’s extraordinary skills allow her to triumph over said challenges, which is humorously depicted through her battles with fruit, geographic conditions, and a tiger. The tiger's fur felt stiff yet somewhat soft? "However, as the saying goes, you shouldn't let a beast that bites people live," mused Qing, looking down at the tiger. With a hint of killing intent seeping out, the tiger immediately whined, rolling onto its back as it had when it was a cub. Qing shook her head. After thinking it through, wasn’t she the one intruding into the tiger's territory rather than a place where humans lived? Qing licked her lips and continued her way through the forest. Ximen Qing versus the rainforest, Ximen Qing claims total victory! While people usually cannot conquer nature, it also depends on who each opponent is. By this point, even Mother Nature seemed to have met her match. How could she compete with a human being who doesn’t tire, regulates their body temperature impeccably, resists poison, and exhibits remarkable strength? Yet, the rainforest wasn't going to simply capitulate without a fight. Enter the rainforest's ultimate technique: Confounding Directions! The dense canopy of trees shrouds the sunlight from reaching the ground, and everywhere is thick with foliage and undergrowth. It’s a natural maze where visibility is limited to less than a single pace. Naturally, Qing climbed trees from time to time, checking the sun's position to orient herself. Without focusing on a compass constantly, however, no one can walk a perfectly straight path in the mountains. Thus, she ended up losing and correcting her direction intermittently each time she took to the trees. Moreover, with Dochasan’s southern heights towering and the jungle growing denser, her path inevitably veered more and more northward. So, although Qing originally intended to go due west... She found herself gradually heading northwest. Ultimately, Ximen Qing versus the rainforest resulted in a draw, not a loss for the latter. After all, even if her course was slightly diverted, Qing was still heading westward. Nonetheless, to keep even a master at the Creation-Transformation[Harmony] Realm from walking straight, this is truly the terror of the rainforest. --- The terrain of Dochasan is shaped like the character "子 (자)", enclosing Geumpyung County from the north, east, and south. As such, there are two approaches to enter Geumpyung County. One path leads through the western gap without mountains. The other route follows a gentle valley descending from the northern ridge. If one intends to head to Geumpyung County from Yunnan, they must inevitably pass through Gaegu County and cross Dochasan. With the journey amounting to 200 ri, who would prolong it by an unnecessary additional 700 ri detour? Thus, anyone aiming to intercept someone traveling to Geumpyung County would have only one obvious ambush point. The northern side of Dochasan! At this moment, along the steep mountain path leading to Geumpyung County, a group had been camping for almost two weeks. Living off the mountains, they ate, slept, and relieved themselves, driven by a somewhat foolish determination. While the northern side of Dochasan might have slightly lesser density of jungle, it’s still an awfully inhospitable place with damp ground swarming with bugs. Clap! "Ugh, these damned mosquitoes, I just want to set this entire mountainside on fire. Wouldn't that kill them all?" "I wouldn't ask for anything else but to change my shoes. They’re so worn out and soggy, feels like my feet are rotting." "How long do we have to keep doing this shit? Is that Heavenly Sword Maiden even coming? Or did those Blood Cult bastards trick us?" "What? You’re doubting our sect’s vengeance—" “It’s not like that. Sure, we ought to tear her to shreds, but what if we’re enduring all this hardship for nothing? Honestly, why would such a pampered woman from the righteous sects come all this way? She’s probably dining on something gourmet someplace while we're in this muck." Qing might feel this was quite unjust. Nevertheless, as things stood, the initial fervor Odokmun’s martial artists had against their sect’s archenemy had been soaked into the jungle’s humidity like wet cotton. Of course, how could the leadership be unaware of this sentiment? "When on earth is that damn Heavenly Sword Maiden coming! What's all this mess about!" Hucheonchi, the leader of Odokmun, burst out in anger. Just days ago, after hearing the rumor of some fiend identified as the Heavenly Sword Maiden, he had laughed maniacally, thinking it was time for revenge. However, all the Blood Cult scoundrels could say was that they were still searching. Four days since, with nearly a fortnight into their well-laid ambush, all they had to show were sopping nights drenched in dew. So the commander tried to calm Hucheonchi. “Brother, let’s be patient a little longer. It is said a great man should not consider ten years too long to exact vengeance, so let’s endure this for now and prepare for sweet revenge.” "What, and aren't you angry? Am I the only one frustrated? Our clan members are suffering tremendously, and you think it’s time for idle correctness?” “Of course, I am irritated but merely venting won’t change things. Someone needs to stay composed.” He wasn't wrong. But lines deepened on Hucheonchi’s forehead. Was anyone blaming the commander? He could have just empathized and agreed it was all absurd. Could he not just shut up and rage together? Empathy, damn it! It was too petty to verbalize, so he locked his lips in a scowl, exuding his displeasure. “Let’s offer the fellows a round of drinks today. Given their current plight, even a drink would lift morale, wouldn’t it? While we're at it, I’ll make the rounds and pour myself; let's have all the elders out too." “And if the enemy shows up meanwhile...” "Just a drink, right? Who gets drunk from one? You hold the command post, and I'll take a spin with our elders. Let's go." Saying so, Hucheonchi strode out of the tent. The sect elders followed him, leaving the commander alone in the rear command. The commander sighed deeply. “Where is that woman and what is she up to, ah, if only she’d show up, take care of this swiftly, and let us all return down the mountain." It was a lament out of frustration. Yet, isn’t it said universally, East or West, that one should always be careful with their words in the presence of others? **Terms Translated Not in Above List:** - **Gaegu County (개구현):** Literal translation used for a geographical region to set the narrative's outer boundary. - **Dochasan (도채산):** Retained original Korean name for geographical continuity. - **Geumpyung County (금평현):** Literal translation, retaining the name for spatial and plot relevance. - **Odokmun (오독문):** Kept original for organizational clarity within the story context. - **Odokmun Leader Hucheonchi (오독문주 후천치):** Translated "Leader" to contextualize his role, keeping "Hucheonchi" for a distinct identity. - **Commander (총관):** Contextually referring to a leadership position, translated for role clarity. The narrative employs some humorous interplay between Qing's extraordinary yet unrefined skills and the subtle challenges posed by the rainforest and the tiger. Yet hidden in it are evocative critiques of human overconfidence against nature, tempered with martial prowess. The subplot of Hucheonchi's impatience with his comrades' military exploits further paints a lively scene of tension within the ranks. Such statements might somewhat, no, very much be like raising a certain kind of flag—a reckless one, at that. ---- As Qing continued heading (north)west, her nostrils twitched, twitching repeatedly. Is that... the smell of something delicious? **Terms Translated Not in Above List:** - **Flag Raising (깃발을 세우는):** In the context of narrative tropes, "raising a flag" often signifies an event or statement that foreshadows impending or ironic developments. Retained the metaphorical meaning regarding reckless statements and narrative setup. The passage injects light-hearted irony as Qing's keen sense of smell detects an appealing aroma, offsetting the tension from earlier exchanges with the humorous notion of raising a “flag”—or setting oneself up for unexpected outcomes—a staple in storytelling.