29 - The Victim of the Academy

Chains of Hatred (3) “Ah…” When I regained my senses, I realized I was covering Ariel's eyes. What was I doing? To me, the scene was horrifying, but to Ariel, it was something she had witnessed countless times before. “Sir Johan, I can't see ahead. It used to be blurry before, but... is it already?” It seemed Ariel, with dulled senses, thought that her own eyes had gone blind, instead of realizing my hand was covering them. Her flailing was more like the languid movements of a drunk, and it was pitiful to watch. “Is everyone uninjured? Ah, and about that person...?” “...No one is injured. It's merely a sign of exhaustion.” As I gently calmed the struggling Ariel with light pats, the one who had caused the gruesome sight before us, Tillis, walked over with measured steps. The gentle smile on her lips, her graceful demeanor, her soft-spoken voice; she approached in a manner befitting the title of "Saint." Who could possibly be wary of such an appearance? Who could feel fear? Ariel, held in my arms, was in a state of half-consciousness, unable to be wary of anyone. I narrowly stopped myself from taking a step back. Damn it, I didn't want to encounter her. The mere thought of being acquainted with her made me sick to my stomach. “It's a relief to hear you're safe,” Tillis sighed with relief, her smile broad and warm. It was a smile that seemed full of goodwill. But she had just killed someone. Who could feel reassured seeing someone who could smile so nonchalantly after taking a life? “Lady Ariel, why not close your eyes for a moment? With the Saint here, aren't you safe now? What you need most is rest.” “...Is that alright?” “Yes.” Ariel was surely at her limit. The only reason she kept holding onto her tenuous consciousness was because she couldn’t completely trust me. If I failed, she would have had to step in herself. But now the situation was resolved. “Then just a little... I’ll rest...” At last, Ariel let go of the consciousness she had been bravely clinging to. As she slowly sank into sleep, I placed her down gently and turned to Tillis, who was observing us silently. Tillis, being perceptive, remained quiet until Ariel had completely fallen asleep, allowing me the brief respite to organize my thoughts. Now, what should I do? Tillis initiated the conversation. “May I ask you something, without pressuring you?” “...It's fine. After all, you saved our lives. Please, ask anything.” “Well then,” Tillis smiled and extended her right hand forward. Seeing what she held, I felt the blood in my veins turn to ice. In her hand was Yuna, collapsed. Refusing to surrender easily, Yuna’s condition seemed dire. “Is this someone you know? She appeared suspicious, so I brought her along.” “Yes, she's a friend of mine.” Normally, I would have hesitated to admit knowing her. However, perhaps because I was still quite naive, I couldn't deny it. My unhesitant answer seemed almost foolish. After ignoring everything for a year, it was absurd to find myself caught up over someone I had barely known for days. “Is that so?” Tillis tilted her head slightly, and then quickly asked again. “Are you aware that this person might have killed numerous people? There's probably an enormous amount of blood on her hands.” “Likely. I had a vague idea… but it's impressive you know this.” “Yes, it's an intuition derived from experience. My intuition tells me she’s killed at least a three-digit number of people.” So, what to do now? The scale within her, hidden beneath her gentle smile, was beginning to tip. This was the turning point. A single misplaced word could lead me down the same path as the barbarian who was just blown apart. No, it wouldn't just be me. It's terrifying to think that someone else’s life could hinge on what I say. “How many students in the Cradle do you think haven’t stained their hands with blood at all? Yuna simply took the lead in protecting us.” “Hmm... Is that so?” With the weight of 'just cause,' I balanced her scale of judgement. Indeed, Tillis judges people based on a single criterion. Whether they're good or evil. That's the one and only standard she holds. A monster of an extreme black and white logic. “However, this person was watching the students from afar. Even when she could have helped, she simply observed. Were you aware of that?” “Yes, I was aware.” I tried my best not to utter lies. No amount of acting could deceive someone as seasoned as her. I had to persuade her with truth alone. “...She’s my mentor, after all.” “A mentor?” “Yes, she probably thought I could handle things on my own and was observing.” “Hmm?” Tillis looked between me and Yuna, contemplating. A piece was still missing. I had to fill in that piece. Facing absolute fear, I summoned the courage to take a step forward. “So, please release Yuna. Saint. Otherwise, I won’t let this go easily, either.” I had no weapon and lacked skill, yet I showed resolve to fight. An ineffectual threat. But it was enough to display my raw naivety and courage. Tillis, so clear-cut in her distinction between good and evil, likely made her judgment then. “It seems I made a big mistake. I apologize.” In that moment, her scale of judgment finally tipped. --- Although Tillis now knew my face, I somehow managed to avert the crisis. It was chilling to think she was aware of my existence. As if that wasn't challenging enough… “Puhihi!” With Ariel in front and Yuna behind me, it was cumbersome having to carry both collapsed individuals. The weight left me breathless. Out of respect for their dignity, I won’t say which one was heavier. “That was really dangerous just now, wasn't it?” “Yuna, could you please keep quiet and stay still since I’m having a hard time?” If you keep squirming like that, I won’t be able to breathe. “If the circumstances were right, I could have killed her.” “Oh, sure.” “It’s not like her senses were that superior.” “But you were discovered, right? Isn’t that game over for an assassin once they’re spotted?” “I got caught because I didn’t know. Now that I do, I won’t be found out next time!” “Yeah, sure.” You've got quite the competitive spirit, don't you? Unfortunately, I didn’t think Yuna stood a chance against Tillis. The gap between them was just too vast. Of course, I kept that thought to myself. There's no quicker way to dig your own grave than to tell someone who’s venting that they’re wrong. Maintaining my silence, Yuna started whispering into my ear. “Hey, apprentice, try calling me master.” “Did you hit your head or something?” The excuse I used to save Yuna—she must know I only said that to get us out of danger, yet she seemed to be having fun with the idea. “Hey, Johan.” After causing quite a ruckus behind me, Yuna eventually went limp, likely having spent all her energy. Her whispering voice was different from usual, making me tense up. Whenever she adopted this tone, she found a way to exploit my vulnerabilities. What is she going to say this time? “Why didn’t you abandon me? If you think about it logically, wouldn’t that have been the right choice?” “...” Indeed, the smartest choice would have been pretending not to know her. To build a wall between us. Had I done that, Tillis wouldn’t have had any reason to suspect me or interrogate me. I crossed a dangerous bridge. One misstep and both Ariel, who had fainted, and I would have been in danger. Usually, I would have drawn a line and avoided such things. Yet, I didn’t. “...If I were that cold, I wouldn’t have entered the Cradle in the first place.” The misfortune of others isn't my concern. They’re strangers, after all. So, what about Yuna? Could she really be considered a stranger? Regrettably, I’ve found myself daring to think of her as a friend, despite her madness. It's probably because I’ve always been bad at making friends. “I see~” Even though I couldn't see her face, it was obvious Yuna was grinning mischievously. Perhaps I shouldn’t have said that. Then again, maybe it was time to clarify things. “Now you get it, right? I don’t have what it takes to be your apprentice.” With such inadequate emotional control, how could I ever become an assassin? Whether I want to or not is secondary; my very nature doesn’t suit it. “No? Not at all.” But Yuna hummed contently as she spoke. “It’s precisely because you’re like that, you have potential. If you were dry and barren, things would be tough... How do you see me?” “What do you mean?” “I’m not exactly someone who looks cold and ruthless, right?” “...No.” “That’s what matters. Assassins who kill their emotions always stand out. They’re crafted to be seen as disposable to begin with. You could say they’re cost-effective?” “Talking about cost-effectiveness with lives isn’t exactly normal.” “So what? They're strangers anyway.” “...” Yuna chuckled as if it were amusing. Does she take life lightly? No, her nuance was different. This was a jab at me. I had no rebuttal. She was using my own mannerism against me. “I may be a fearsome killer, but at least I never killed anyone without a reason. Those I did kill were mostly... trash.” “I know.” Yuna, or Safe Clown, was somewhat of a dark hero. She accepted jobs not for money, but for the cause behind them. Whether the anger was justified, and whether the person deserved death for their crimes. Discussing whether she had the right to judge was moot, as the Empire's instability was a significant issue. It was no surprise that vigilante groups emerged. I didn’t fully understand Yuna’s deeper workings, but I wasn't naive enough to claim outright that killing was wrong in this perilous world. I’ve killed a few myself, after all. “That’s why there’s no one better suited than you, don’t you think?” “Please consider my social background in that judgment.” “No, I don’t want to.” Her standards were entirely her own. Maybe she just liked me. Thinking about it that way made me a bit embarrassed. “By the way, Johan. I’m curious about something. Can I ask?” “And you’re just now asking permission?” Haven’t we already gone through everything you could say and not say? What could you possibly want to ask that requires permission now? “What is your goal?” It was an esoteric question. “A goal?” “Yeah… like a dream or objective.” “I don’t have anything specific. If I just go on breathing, I'll eventually become the lord of my family's territory. I don't have to think about it. I just need to survive and graduate. Then I can get out of this hell of a capital.” “I see~” Again, Yuna responded with that sly grin. What now? I feel like I was pretty honest there. “Isn’t it odd considering that?” “...?” “You reacted with fear and retreat, much like any ordinary person.” “Would you prefer I fight back and risk dying?” “You did act that way earlier. That woman was the most absurd monster I’ve ever seen. Yet, you went against her to save me.” “...” “Sometimes you seem to act like you’re not afraid of death. It’s a bit… unsettling.” I can’t let my guard down. I don’t know how, but there seems to be no easy opponent around here. Even without doing anything, Lobelia seems to instinctively get closer to my true nature, seeing through things about me that I've never disclosed to anyone. Yes, I'm not afraid of death. That’s because I’ve experienced dying once. I died once and was born again into this world. Knowing what lies beyond death is why I feel that death isn't something terrifying. So, no, I'm not afraid of death. “That's just your misconception. I've always acted consistently,” I clarified. “I see~” It's the fear of saying goodbye that haunts me. All this time, that's the only thing I've truly feared. * * * Elsewhere at the same moment. Koran Lekias, the head of the Imperial Royal Technology Research Department, noticed something peculiar during his investigation of the Ex Machina's machinery. “Hmm, let’s disassemble it.” “...What?!” The researchers reacted with panicked exclamations at Koran Lekias's order. It was a natural reaction. A wrong move could trigger a self-destruct sequence, potentially costing lives and obliterating invaluable technology entirely. Despite the risk to their lives, the sheer prospect of losing such advanced technology was a pressing concern. “There doesn’t seem to be a self-destruct mechanism in its structure. More importantly... Hmm, we'll have to proceed with disassembly to find out.” A keen intuition. Judgment honed from years as a researcher. Trusting in Koran Lekias's insight, the researchers began disassembling the machine. Koran Lekias was right. There was no self-destruct device installed within the machine. The vast machinery revealed its intricate insides, a labyrinth of countless gears and steam engines. “Such a sophisticated device...!” The researchers exclaimed with awe. The investigation had taken a promising turn into uncharted territory.