Chapter 6 First Play - Martial Arts Masochist

I couldn't respond at all. I was too terrified to even register what Cheongwol had said. ...Resolve her inner demons? ...How am I supposed to do that? And why suddenly to me... ‘This is a space for resolving those inner demons!’ Oh. I must have blurted it out. But that was just a casual remark! How on earth do you resolve something like that with this kind of SM scenario? She's someone extreme, trampling over anyone—supporting cast and ordinary folks alike—with those deep and insane demons. How was I supposed to... Doesn't she belong in a mental hospital or something? When I got caught with the love gel and fibbed it was a skincare product, she smeared it on her face and appeared like that. But this wasn't the time to nitpick over that. Cheongwol's eyes were tinged with red, and it was evident something had happened, even without her saying a word. She was angry, frustrated. Quite literally, the storyline of her descent into villainy was unfolding right before my eyes. I seemed to be caught in between. Whether I become just another of her stepping stones or manage to walk away as a survival expert—all depended on me. Swallowing nervously, I rolled my eyes around. "So, uh, lady..." Cheongwol stopped pressing me and abruptly flung open the nearby basement door. "Milady!" There was no time to intervene. She grabbed a candle and descended into the basement with determined steps. -Thud. Thud. Thud. The sound of her footsteps on the wooden stairs was like my own heartbeat. Her urgent movements conveyed her frustration. Cheongwol had come to me as if grasping at straws. ... Oddly, that terrified me even more. Damn, what am I supposed to do here!! As she descended into the basement, I squatted on the floor, furiously pulling at my hair. If I can't resolve her inner demons, will I die here? Should I just close the basement now and make a run for it? Honestly, SM play isn't something enjoyable unless you have a specific inclination...!! Besides, I'm actually a novice myself...! Even before getting caught up in this, I only indulged in fantasies, never considering doing it to a real person. Just because someone has a sadistic streak doesn't mean they're all tough and macho. Can't there be a shy sadist? Why, can't a timid person even have the desire to torment someone? It's not like that... How on earth am I supposed to torment and pain that monster? I'm scared. "..." However, I realized staying still was even more frightening. Today felt much more intense than three days ago. I might truly die today. Cheongwol, having gone down, said not a word. Yet her shout resonated vividly in my mind. Telling me to come down. "...Ha." Slowly, as one being led to the slaughter, I began to descend the wooden stairs. . . . Cheongwol was standing at the basement, the candle placed beside her, lost in thought. Even from behind, her emotions seemed to ripple and reach me. Her subdued breath, tense shoulders, trembling fingertips. Under the flickering light, the instruments hanging on the walls swayed eerily. An intimate setting. A beautiful woman. Had it been with someone else, I might have been overjoyed, thinking a dream had come true by now. But unfortunately, it was indeed that Cheongwol. I sighed. Pull yourself together, seriously. They say even if you're dragged into a tiger’s den, you can survive if you keep your wits about you. ...Honestly, that sounds like a lie, but what choice do I have but to believe it now? It wasn't the time to cower clumsily like a coward. As sharp as Cheongwol became, I too had to be equally keen. In fact, I needed to cloak myself in something mysterious. Last time, I talked my way out of it, so now I had to act. I had to disguise this insane play as something plausible. First of all, why was she here? I delved into my mind for information about Cheongwol. It was said that she had begun her downfall after conflicts with the sect leader. Excessive pressure, heavy responsibility, chains known as expectations. Those are what crushed her. So, could this situation be an extension of that? I recalled the words I had spoken. ‘People go about life tethering themselves unknowingly. Social expectations, responsibilities, or status can all become ropes that bind us. And such constraints, over time, weigh heavily like incessant rain soaking through clothing.’ Yes, those words indeed were aimed at her back then, but now it was clear. That speech definitely shook her. ‘By being controlled, people realize again how insignificant and powerless they are! At that moment, wouldn't they finally be free from the expectations of the world? They’d savor psychological freedom by only revealing their powerless selves to a pre-determined individual!’ ...Cheongwol is someone expected to bring results in the future. If my words that day caused a ripple in her. If that's why she came to me now. ...Shouldn't I act according to those words from that day? I felt like I'd gathered a few hints. Nevertheless, I had to ask. "...Are you here to resolve your inner demons?" "..." Cheongwol nodded faintly, still facing away from me. "Do you remember everything I told you back then?" "...I wouldn't do something like public urination, even if it killed me... but for anything else, I'll comply." Ah. Judging by her attitude, she's already half in rebellious mode. There are far worse things than public urination, and she dares to draw the line there. For a murderous person, she sure is pure. I sighed again. Right. Regardless, all SM play starts with ‘consent.’ No matter how masochistic someone is, you can't force everything upon them. SM does involve perverted acts, but contrary to what people might think, it requires mutual agreement greatly. In most cases, the masochist holds the upper hand. The masochist dictates the extent of what's permissible. If the sadist dictates the limits, they'll find themselves behind bars. For us, it's a sort of agreement too. It's actually favorable for me. It lets me know what I can't exceed to avoid getting killed. Cheongwol said no to the peeing, so I just won’t do it. ...Honestly, I didn’t intend to do it in the first place. I don't want to do any SM play with Cheongwol at all. I'm scared to death, so what could I possibly do? ...But seriously, what do I do here? Exactly what kind of play should I engage in? How should I torment her? How much humiliation should I inflict? How far can this pure and naive woman endure? This won't just end with a snap. I have to continue living my life, and Cheongwol will also carry today's memories with her. If I thoughtlessly spank her butt or fondle her breasts just because I'm told to, I might lose my head. ...But if I resort to something trivial, she'll definitely complain, asking what on earth I'm doing! Man, I'll end up with the inner demons myself. I decided to ask. "You said public urination is a no-go... Back then, I mentioned that entrusting everything to the other party is the core of this treatment, didn’t I?" "What’s not allowed is simply not allowed. You said yourself that shackles and ropes are included in this activity. Do it with those." "Milady—" "—Sect leader. I didn't come here to answer questions. I came to resolve my inner demons. Don't waste my time with foolish questions. I'm not entirely trusting of you." Look at this attitude, seriously. You crazy girl, if you're going to engage in SM play, put in some effort. She just wants to resist everything. Well, she probably doesn't even know. She doesn’t understand the structure of this play or what roles are required. ...Fine. This isn’t working as it is. Even if it's an imitation, I have to have the initiative. If I crawl on my knees, I'm nothing more than a servant trying to please the lady, right? "You didn't come to answer questions, huh." I turned my body around. As frightened as I was, losing my dignity meant losing my life too. A play where the masochist holds the reins? What kind of sense does that make? I felt like I was about to lose my mind from fear, but I had to muster courage if I wanted to seek a path to survival. I went back up the stairs and closed the basement door that I had left open on the off chance of escaping. -Bang! Then, I slowly descended the stairs again. ...Thud.... Thud.... Thud.... It was an effort to establish a new atmosphere. Whether it would work, I didn't know, but it couldn’t be like before. That pitiful image had to vanish. Please let this work. Cheongwol had turned to face me at some point. She frowned as if trying to read my intentions. Seeing the closed basement door and my much more relaxed demeanor, she seemed more alert, placing her hand on her sword. "...What are you—" "—Be quiet." I commanded her in a high-handed manner. And please, don’t kill me. "..." Cheongwol made a sound as though she was startled by my change in stance, unable to form words. No one must have ever treated her like this. Especially not a man. When you forget that she’s a warrior, it’s natural that I’d be physically larger. Humans are animals at the end of the day, and you can’t ignore the intimidation of size. She barely reached my chin. I picked up a cloth that was hanging on the wall. When in haste, sometimes you need to take the long way around. Step by step, bit by bit. You don’t seize control all at once but make them hand it over willingly. Let's start with the lowest level. I approached the stiffly-standing Cheongwol and moved to wrap the cloth around her mouth. -Clack! She tried to push my hand away. Despite the shock of her touch, I calmly asked again. "Didn’t you come here because you wanted to? I don’t have to do this." "...Er. Sect leader, your tone is—" "—My tone is what? If you don't like it, you can leave." And please, just leave on your own. I’m not bluffing. "..." We remained at a standoff for quite a while. I was looking down at her, and she was looking up at me. Silence stretched between us, the tension in the air palpable. I couldn't falter here. Losing my nerve would be the end. "..." "..." Carefully, I reached out my hand again. This time, she didn't stop me. Or rather, her resistance seemed weaker than before. I couldn’t be sure if this signified permission. So I intentionally moved slower, wrapping the cloth around her mouth. Fast movements provoke resistance; slow ones offer a choice. I was continuously providing her with choices. Cheongwol’s eyes glistened with sharp suspicion and defiance, yet she had come here willingly. Maybe that's why she eventually shifted her gaze away, and her hand that had been pushing my wrist slowly lowered. In a whisper, I spoke to her. "If you didn’t come to answer my questions." And I added one more line. "...Then you won't need that useless, wicked mouth, will you?" For a moment, her shoulders slightly tensed. Her small breath paused and then continued again. "..." "..." But, she remained unmoving. Her reluctance was evident, yet she didn’t outright reject it. Even while carrying it out, I couldn't quite believe it. I expected her to kick me away at any moment. ... Did that Cheongwol truly allow this? Was she that desperate? ... Was she? "... It doesn't matter. The important thing is that I’ve taken the first step in this minefield."