Chapter 9 First Play (4) - Martial Arts Masochist

First Play (4) “…There, you did well, Cheongwol.” The sound of her name spoken almost like a child’s nickname made her heart flutter. What was this strange sensation she had been feeling since earlier? With just those simple words of praise, her body froze as though struck. They weren’t words that would usually make her happy if said by just anyone. But why did they feel so different in this situation? And, yet again, if it wasn't this peculiar existence called Han Seojin, no one else could have said them to her. Who would actually praise her for allowing herself to be in such a state? He was the first to treat her with such impudence. Even the grandmaster Hyeyul and her own master So Un never treated her in this manner. Caught in this unfamiliar emotion, Cheongwol again mustered her patience. All she needed to do was endure the humiliation—it wasn't that difficult. With a slight concession on her pride, she could move forward. “You’re so pretty. Let’s just endure this a bit more.” “Hoo… hoo…” An uncomfortable tickling sensation wriggled in her chest. Though she disliked it, it was a stimulus she couldn't push away. “Just endure until the candle burns out. Think of it as training,” Han Seojin said, moving the candle behind her where she couldn’t see it. “Got it? Just a bit more. You can do it.” With that, Han Seojin left the basement. -Thunk. “…Hoo… hoo…” Alone, Cheongwol was bewildered. He just left like that? Even so, she couldn't get down from the wooden block, daring not to defy him. It wasn’t just because she didn’t want to lose the bet. ... How much time had passed? Her wrists were starting to ache and her calves were cramping. It felt as if she was really training, as Han Seojin had mentioned. A cycle of pain and doubt. It hurt, and she wanted to give up. She questioned what could possibly get better from enduring this. Yet here she was, continuing on. She didn't know why. -Screeeech. Just when she thought of giving up, the basement door opened again. ...Thunk... thud... He descended the stairs quietly from behind her. Cheongwol felt an inexplicable embarrassment at his return. The sight of herself patiently waiting on the wooden block until he arrived somehow made her feel ashamed. “…You waited well, didn’t you?” Han Seojin whispered as if teasing. “Good girl.” Cheongwol shut her eyes tight. Again, she ignored the flutter in her heart. Surely she wasn’t that starved for praise... so why did she react to every single word? The reality was unbearably humiliating. She endured, convincing herself this was necessary to dispel the dark thoughts—the demonic taint. It wasn’t just to hear worthless praise. She feared this dense demonic taint enough to endure such humiliation. She had thought dreadful things: wishing harm upon her mentor, wanting to cut down Hyeyul’s senior sister. “Ugh…” In fear and guilt, Cheongwol squeezed her eyes shut. Perhaps this was all a punishment for her violent thoughts. While she was steeped in her misery, Han Seojin stood in front of her. “…Looks like you’ve gotten used to it.” He spoke to her, standing steadily on the wooden block. “…Don’t you want to kiss my cheek like that?” His unpleasant words were met with her silence. More than unable to answer, she had nothing to say. Would she ever want to madly kiss his cheek? If she just endured, it would all end. Like training, she was merely seeing it through for now. And once it ended, Han Seojin’s fate would be decided as well. Endure this humiliation just a bit longer until then. Cheongwol glared at him, rushing him to fix the dark taint soon. If not, she didn’t know what she might do. Finding her lack of response dull, Han Seojin vanished behind her once more. Cheongwol pressed her eyes shut, waiting for the candle behind her to go out. Then, something hot enveloped her entire body. -Splash! “Ugh!!” Her whole body heated up. “Mm! Ngh!” Surprised, Cheongwol trembled, instinctively maintaining her balance on the wooden block. If she couldn’t endure this moment, the humiliation so far would be meaningless. What on earth happened? Soon after, her question was answered. Her body was soaked in water. Droplets ran down her face, chest, and legs. Han Seojin had doused her with warm water. As her clothing absorbed the water, it became heavy, pressing on her. Under normal circumstances, she could ignore the weight, but now, it was enough to torment her. “Mm! Ngh!!” Cheongwol protested continuously— -Splash!! Another wave of warm water drenched her body once more. The heat spread tingling sensations all over her skin, raising goosebumps. Shortly after, Han Seojin returned to stand before her. A bucket of water in hand. “Feels warm, doesn’t it?” He softly whispered, brushing away her wet hair with his fingertips. Cheongwol shook her head fiercely, brushing off his touch. “I did it in case you felt cold.” Han Seojin’s smug smile was unbearable. Was all this trouble just to win a bet? For a moment, she even thought of unleashing everything and cutting him down. But before the impulse settled, Han Seojin murmured lasciviously. “Your body really is beautiful.” “...” His words momentarily froze her thoughts. Slowly, she looked down at herself. Her soaked clothing clung to her entirely. Faintly visible through the thin fabric was her skin, and with the flickering candlelight creating shadows on it, her curves were accentuated. “Ugh!!! Ngh!!!” Instinctively, Cheongwol struggled. For the first time in her life, a man saw her body so blatantly exposed. -Clatter! Clatter!! The rope strung from the ceiling wobbled dangerously. But, with her restrained body, she couldn’t even escape the handcuffs. Yet throughout it all, Cheongwol instinctively maintained her balance on the wooden block. It’s as if the rules instilled by the Emei Sect were keeping her tethered—the habit not to cross the line engraved in her body. While she fidgeted uncomfortably, Han Seojin's eyes leisurely traced over every inch of her body. "Your hips are wider and more feminine than I thought, and your legs are quite long. Your ankles are slender too. I didn't notice when you were just in your uniform." Cheongwol's mind was boiling. A mix of anger and shame coursed through her entire body. "Huuuh!! Haaaah!!!" Unable to hold back any longer, Cheongwol tugged at the bet. -Creak! The rope twisted, emitting a strange noise as if it were crying out. Seeing this, Han Seojin quickly interjected. "If you stop now..." "...Haaah…! Huuu..." "I won't ever help you again. Ever." What use would the dead have in aiding her? Cheongwol glared at Han Seojin with eyes full of murderous intent. Yet... The fear of the unknown demonic taint stopped her. If he were gone, would there be a way to dispel this taint? She could only acknowledge that what she felt today was so foreign and new. Especially the odd sensation experienced from his singular compliment, she couldn't ignore. -Grind... Cheongwol gritted her teeth to the point of pain. The thought that she might betray her grandmaster and senior with her own hands continued to hold her back. She didn't want to become such a monster. Were this impulse weaker, she might not be struggling as much. But earlier in the mountains, the wild emotion felt was so vivid. Hadn’t she slaughtered bandits not so long ago? Even then, she was certainly dominated by that impulse. Upset with herself, desperate to escape that fear, she ended up here. "Ugh..." In the end, Cheongwol hung her head low, not knowing what to do. "…Huuu… Haaa..." Feeling dizzy with embarrassment, tears began to well up. Even that was enough to fluster her. Since the age of fifteen, she hadn't cried. There hadn’t been a moment when her emotions surged so wildly, and she had held back tears to meet the grandmaster's expectations. It wasn’t that difficult. But now, tears welled up, making her feel like a child again. Thinking back, such helplessness was something she hadn’t felt since she was young. Becoming a strong heroine, that’s likely why she strove for strength—because of the helplessness she felt when her parents were killed by bandits. Now, the feeling of helplessness she had escaped from had captured her once more. While she valiantly held back tears, Han Seojin's gaze lingered on her body. Awkwardly standing on the wooden block, she finally tucked one leg to awkwardly shield herself. At least her skin—she desperately wanted to hide it from his gaze. "..." "..." She felt like a dog needing to urinate, hunched and shivering. Her arms raised high caused her chest to push forward, her legs intertwined. “…Your thighs are beautiful. Firm, aren’t they? Must be from rigorous training.” Han Seojin taunted, whispering mischievously again. Her heart pounded once more. Was it anger, shame, or another emotion altogether? She couldn’t discern. Looking at Han Seojin through her tear-filled eyes, anger towards him became more pronounced but so did the confusion swirling within her. "You knew what you were getting into." Yet, Han Seojin remained unapologetic. “You should have expected at least this much if you knew I could make someone relieve themselves outdoors.” "...Haaa... Huuuh..." "Didn't you expect it might be a bit uncouth? If not, that's your mistake." He wasn’t wrong. She had known, but knowing with the mind and experiencing it with the body were entirely different. For someone like her, unaccustomed to men, the reality of exposing herself so completely was excruciatingly humiliating. "...If you knew, just endure it. Don't be embarrassed. You're too beautiful for that." However, Han Seojin seemed not to grasp her turmoil, continuing with his flattery. By this point, she didn't understand anything anymore. Caught between the slight pleasure from hearing she's beautiful or good and the deeply unsettling feeling of having to hear it from him, her emotions swung back and forth. She just wanted all of this to end quickly. That would be enough. ... Han Seojin maintained silence for a long time thereafter. Cheongwol, hoping for the candle to burn out, kept her balance on trembling legs. But wet bodies naturally grow cold, and soon she found herself shivering violently from either shame or the cold. -Splash! At that moment, warm water was suddenly poured over her again. As the cold skin met the water, she shivered without realizing it. “Ugh! Uuuuh… huh…” She had hated his actions so deeply, but now, oddly, they felt warm and sweet. Her body craved warmth. It was shameful and vulgar, yet undeniably pleasant sensations spread through her body as if she were dipping into a hot bath. “Feels nice, doesn’t it?” Han Seojin asked as if he could see straight through her. Cheongwol shook her head. She didn't want to admit it. The low and vulgar desire to wait for the next splash of water—she forcibly pushed it deep inside herself. At that moment, realizing this desire in herself, disgust resurfaced, bringing tears to her eyes. Just barely, she swallowed her tears, clenching her teeth. Yet again, her body grew cold. Amid the mix of cold and desire, her shivering intensified. -Splash! Without fail, whenever she wavered, Han Seojin poured warm water over her again. With each dousing, her figure became more explicitly revealed. Even while clothed, she felt utterly naked. The curves of her breasts and waist, her hips and thighs—every part she wanted to hide was laid bare. Even when she looked down at herself, she appeared more seductive than usual. “Your butt looks like a peach.” And withstanding every bit of shame, his praise followed suit. Through his words, she started to learn more about herself. For the first time, truly understanding how attractive she was through a male gaze. Phrases like 'well done' and 'you're pretty.' Such words, overflowing in a dizzying way, were ones she never heard in the Emei Sect. Whether out of shame or the compliments, her heart's pounding felt as if it would burst soon. Repeatedly, the act continued. Cheongwol was no longer certain of the emotions she felt. Each time warm water was poured over her body, an involuntary, delicate sigh escaped her lips. She could do nothing but shiver. Clinging to a desperate belief that she must resolve the demonic taint, she couldn’t step away from that little piece of wood. She was never one to live in submission to anyone. Like the grandmaster, she aspired to be a strong and dignified heroine, and the grandmaster held such hopes for her as well. But what of her current state? Her body was being toyed with by a single man, and yet she could only shiver powerlessly without resistance. It was her body, but no longer something she could control at will. She had completely lost her agency over herself. She couldn’t decide anything. “Huuu… Haaa… Hic…” ...Simultaneously, there was nothing she needed to decide. The lifelong pressure to grow stronger, the obsession to be more perfect than anyone else; in this moment, they weren’t hers. This shameful predicament offered a contrasting sense of freedom, as if everything could be let go. Perhaps she already had. Who could call this pathetic and humble self the Cheongwol of the Emei Sect? Who could exalt someone like her as the beacon of righteousness, the Millennium Flower of the Emei Sect? “Hic… Hicc…” ...And then, finally. Very slightly. Very softly. Very faintly... ...a sense of liberation lifted its head from within her chest. An illicit act brought with it a sense of freedom... and a shallow betrayal. A small revenge against the grandmaster who had urged her to maintain purity. ‘Moon-ah. You need to do better. You are the future of the Emei Sect.’ ‘Lady Cheongwol! I had faith in you!’ ‘Isn’t it natural for Sister Cheongwol?’ ‘Surely, you're a beacon of the righteous sect. An incredible talent indeed.’ Those countless expectations and responsibilities that had weighed her down melted away in this very moment. "...You look like a vulgar courtesan, Cheongwol." And now, the void was filled by Han Seojin's mockery and scorn. Vulgar courtesan, indeed. Despite the chastity mark engraved visibly on her arm. ...However, rather than brood under such detestable and shameful words, she felt oddly relieved. The weighty and heated tears of defeated pride rolled down her cheeks. She could no longer hold them back. -Drip... Drop... It felt like releasing the hefty burden she had been forcibly holding onto for a long time. Now, she couldn’t even wipe away those tears; she had no choices left. She was utterly powerless, and perhaps that's why she felt so unburdened. “Hic... Hicc...” Tears poured more harshly. Something was breaking inside her. It rose endlessly. Between those cracks, new emotions trickled in. Not knowing if they were from wretchedness, freedom, or dangerous pleasure scared her. **** "...You look like a vulgar courtesan, Cheongwol." A risky insult I threw her way. It seemed like she was enduring too well, so it felt necessary. Then in that instant. "Hicc... Hicc..." Oh? I was busily pouring pleasantly warm water over Cheongwol as if in servitude when her reaction made me freeze. Cheongwol began to tremble intensely. Even the sound of her breathing changed noticeably. ...Could she be crying? No, this isn’t painful... To be honest, she should just feel good because the water's warm... I covertly leaned in to take a peek at her... ...Damn it. She’s really crying.