Chapter 37 Tang Soran (3) - Martial Arts Masochist

"Are you planning to stay hidden forever?" Tang So Ran inquired to Cheongwol, who was hiding behind the planked wall. Her emotions were a tangled mix. Was it anger or perhaps excitement? A faint jealousy arose from the realization that someone had been gradually resolving her inner turmoil while she struggled. The thrill of discovering a way out of her inner demons shook Tang So Ran. "S-sir, there's no one else here except me..." Han Seo Jin stammered, overwhelmed. Tang So Ran simply stared at him intently, without a word, and watched him shrink like a wilting flower under her gaze. She found it difficult to comprehend. How could such a man be labeled as the miraculous opportunity that Cheongwol had found? If he truly was the one who resolved Cheongwol’s inner demons, then this fact alone would cause a stir across the martial world. Both the righteous and the evildoers would covet him. But him? Tang So Ran was skeptical. His attire was lowly, his posture hunched, lacking even a trace of martial presence. His eyes, filled with fear, betrayed nothing special about him. Physically, he was just above average, with nothing particularly striking. His face was...common. Frankly, he looked like someone who might have grown up among beggars. If he hadn't introduced himself with the grand name Han Seojin, she might have thought 'Gaedong' would have suited him better. If he had mastered Beggar Sect's techniques, she'd understand, but he seemed far removed from the martial world. This left two possibilities: he was either an incredible master hiding his identity or a completely ordinary person with no martial prowess. Tang So Ran's instincts leaned toward the latter. His eyes gave it away. He couldn't even look at her properly, always averting his gaze. If he was acting, he could compete with the best in the shadow guilds. -Creak... Footsteps slid over the rough, decaying planks. Cautiously, Cheongwol emerged. Her face was cold and rigid, but Tang So Ran quickly detected the defense mechanism within that chill. Hidden beneath her eyes was bewilderment and anxiety; traits she had never shown even in combat. The peculiar sight only heightened Tang So Ran's interest in this man. Was something truly going on, dear Wol? "So, seeing our Wol hiding like this..." Tang So Ran spoke slowly, almost teasingly. “Is it too much to ask if you really wanted to keep this secret?” There was genuine sentiment behind her words. While she understood her relationship with Cheongwol wasn't entirely amiable — as representatives of their sects, they were aware of each other as rivals. Yet, hadn't they shared the common struggle of inner turmoil? Cheongwol must have heard about her own struggles with it. She knew, then, how significant the pain and agony were. Despite this, she kept the method to herself without sharing it. Even though they were rivals, given the proximity of their sects and the numerous exchanges they'd had, shouldn't she have shared this invaluable information, at least as fellow righteous sects? The sorrowful nights of the past year felt a bit more regrettable now. Had she known earlier, she might not have despised her own flaws so much. "If it were me, I would have told you." Tang So Ran could admit it. If the man standing before her truly was the solution to inner turmoil, she would have introduced him to Cheongwol. Even acknowledging her own flaws, she maintained a sense of honor. She stopped probing Cheongwol and shifted her attention to Han Seo Jin, offering a respectful bow. “Please accept my greetings.” Han Seo Jin visibly flustered, responded, "Um, yes?" "I am Tang So Ran of the Tang household. I apologize for making such a request upon first meeting, but I ask earnestly... can you help me free myself from my turmoil?" A tense silence hung in the room. Han Seo Jin hesitated, "I... I think there might be some misunderstanding. Relieving turmoil... how could I..." "I heard everything from outside, sir." "Sir?" Tang So Ran held Han Seo Jin's gaze firmly, repeating her entreaty, "If you find any sympathy for me, please... please help me." **** Where did it all go wrong...? No matter how much I racked my brain, I couldn't figure it out. To be honest, I thought I was showcasing an insane level of survival skill until now. Think about it. I survived witnessing Cheongwol's slaughter scene. I survived when she discovered the basement. Even after bluffing about resolving inner demons and engaging in some real roleplay with Cheongwol, I survived. Cheongwol, who should have collapsed from turmoil during the martial duel, I survived even at that incredibly vulnerable moment. Almost like Bear Grylls, wasn’t I? Despite my fear and anxiety, aside from witnessing the slaughter, I thought I hadn't made any mistakes. Everything seemed to have worked out so well... ...so why am I in this situation? What more should I have done? "If you find any sympathy for me, please... please help me." Tang So Ran’s outstretched hand trembled slightly. Her desperation poured through. It was understandable. If you found a clue for resolving inner turmoil, anyone suffering from it would be desperate. …but hell, I don't know anything about resolving turmoil! I just bluffed Cheongwol...! Not to mention, it just somehow worked since Cheongwol turned out to be a masochist! No matter what Tang So Ran said, her words sounded to me like "Please do SM play with me too." Faced with such a suffocating proposal, I was too stunned to even whimper. Especially given that the person in question was Tang So Ran. The eldest daughter of the Tang household! The precious jewel of the Tang family! A major ally of the protagonist! While I got somewhat entangled with Cheongwol due to unfortunate proximity... ...who could have imagined getting involved with Tang So Ran? Most normal people wouldn't even have a chance to speak with someone of her status before they died. It's like the rarity of someone having a conversation with an heiress of a major corporation. Well, it's not entirely impossible to have had a conversation with her, but I've never heard of anyone approaching with an offer of SM play. "Sir...?" Tang So Ran asked, her wide eyes fixed on me. "Uh... well..." I stammered, unsure of her interpretation of my hesitation. "...I will ensure that you are properly rewarded. You will be recognized as a benefactor to our Tang family. Even if our family doesn't, I, Tang So Ran, will consider you a benefactor." Benefactor my foot! The moment I engage in SM with you, I'd become your sworn enemy! Especially considering Tang Jeokcheon, Tang So Ran's father. He's nothing short of a doting father. Upon Tang So Ran's murder at Cheongwol's hands, Tang Jeokcheon seeks vengeance with tears of blood and ends up dying battling Cheongwol, depicted as even poisoning himself to ensure mutual destruction. And to do SM with such a man's daughter? Are you insane? Facing off against a poison expert like the Tang family, you'd probably die from a mere norovirus infection! Cheongwol's voice whispered from behind. "...Please, stop troubling the chamber owner. As he said, he knows nothing about dispelling inner demons." "Wola, we both know that's a lie." "Why are you assuming it's a lie—" "Then what happened with your inner turmoil?" Cheongwol's eyes flickered slightly. "We had a martial duel. Don't try to hide it from me," Tang So Ran continued. "..." Cheongwol remained silent. "The inner turmoil within you shrank, and peculiarly, you became closer to this man. Is it all just a coincidence?" Tang So Ran bit her lip, her suppressed emotions whispering. "...I normally wouldn't act this way, but I'm desperate too." "..." Cheongwol, again, couldn't muster a response. Tang So Ran tried to persuade me, stepping closer to grab my wrist. "Sir..." But before she could, Cheongwol seized me by the collar, pulling me back. Tang So Ran's hand sliced through empty air. Cheongwol stepped forward, putting herself between us. "...Senior Tang. Please, let it go." And just then, I noticed it—a strange emotion flickered across Tang So Ran's eyes. ...Huh? That inexplicable expression left me sensing something vague. It was a look that a main cast member in a protagonist's story should never wear—a look filled with desire. "...Wola, you should stop too." "...What?" "Because when you act like this... it's harder for me to give up." **** A tingling sensation crawled up Tang So Ran's fingertips. She knew she should suppress it, but her heart wouldn't cooperate. Tang So Ran was well aware of Cheongwol's unique qualities. Beyond being a competitor, could she find someone else she respected as much as Cheongwol? Tang So Ran could grasp whatever she desired, whereas Cheongwol, despite her inner strength and captivating beauty, chose austerity—abstaining from any personal indulgence, avoiding even the finest ornaments, consuming bland monk's meals, and sustaining a life absent of pleasure, maintaining her integrity. For someone like Cheongwol to keep something hidden... How taxing must it be to avoid sharing even that? As far as Tang So Ran knew, it was Cheongwol’s only desire. It surely wasn't about romantic feelings. As a nun of the Emei Sect, such desires should be unthinkable. Could it be that their relationship was more like close friends? Their relationship was still too unclear to judge. Whatever it was, one thing was certain—having this man around made him appear even more special. Tang So Ran didn't trust her own judgment. She trusted Cheongwol's judgment more. If someone as reserved as Cheongwol found him exceptional, there must be something to it. The more defensively Cheongwol behaved, the more hope grew that perhaps resolving the inner turmoil was possible. Unquenchable curiosity began to stir. **** What astounding news! Wi Chang could hardly believe his ears. A chill ran through his entire being. Could this be what it's like to strike a jackpot of gold? The idea of resolving inner turmoil was even more valuable than any artifact in the central plains. Despite his years in the shadow guilds gathering information, Wi Chang had never stumbled upon anything of this magnitude. Could it be that the mysterious turmoil sufferer from the Emei Sect was Cheongwol, and the chamber owner here resolved it? Theories led to more theories. Bringing this news to the shadow guilds, if proven true, could catapult Wi Chang to the position of a major leader. With such precious value at stake, Wi Chang couldn't afford to sit idly by when the opportunity had been presented to him. Even a single clue could be a monumental gain. Rather than greedily pursuing more and failing to bring this information back, the cost of not securing it would be far greater. Holding his trembling body in check, Wi Chang quickly turned away. He couldn't even think of alerting his subordinates. Forget the charade of posing as a peddler. His target was clear—to return to the Sichuan branch. **** "I'm suffering too, Wol-ah. You know, don’t you, just how tormenting inner turmoil can be?" “...” "See? That's my plea. After all, shouldn’t Sir’s opinion be what matters more?" Cheongwol could comprehend it too—the loneliness that seeped into the bones, the despair, the endless descent into nightmares. She too had wandered through the suffocating darkness called inner turmoil, which no one else could shoulder for her. It was like traversing an endless tunnel, where every step deepened the despair, the anxiety, the fear, and the dread... There was once a time when she couldn't be free from its grip for even a moment. Cheongwol knew what such pain could do to a person, how it could drive someone to hopeless desperation. When the mind frays, one clutches desperately at any lifeline, seeking salvation, and that urgency can easily steer one to extremes. In that light, she could easily understand Tang So Ran’s actions. ...And Tang So Ran wasn't wrong either. What right did she have to interject between Han Seo Jin and Tang So Ran? Despite it all, an inexplicable feeling of repulsion continuously welled up inside me. Something sharp twisted deep within my chest. "Please, stop making baseless accusations. The chamber owner already said he doesn't know...!" "Really?" Tang So Ran pressed. Cheongwol nodded in affirmation. "Yes, he truly doesn’t know anything about dispelling inner turmoil." "How many more times do I need to say it—" "—Then, is this a secret meeting?" Tang So Ran interjected. Both Cheongwol and Han Seo Jin froze at her words. "Think about it. If Cheongwol, the Millennium Flower of the Emei Sect, came to this shabby leather shop to resolve her turmoil, that would make sense... but if not, then why are you here?" "To get some twine and a leather flask—" "—Which you could have done during the day or requested from outside, yet you chose to come inside the shop this evening, sharing smiles and conversation? Even hiding from me?" Tang So Ran's observations made it clear she had been eavesdropping on them for quite some time. Even Cheongwol hadn't anticipated this turn of events. Had she known, she would've been more cautious. She had been too focused on Han Seo Jin and let her guard down. Tang So Ran continued her interrogation relentlessly. "...Are you two lovers?" At that question, Cheongwol shouted, "There's no way!" After all, she was a nun of the Emei Sect, sworn to celibacy. Her vow was sealed with her Dharma name, and the deep imprint of the ascetic’s tattoo on her arm testified to her lifelong commitment to purity. And yet... lovers? Holding hands, kissing lips, sharing love... that kind of relationship? Involuntarily, Cheongwol imagined herself kissing Han Seo Jin. "Ugh." A strange shiver ran down her spine. It was a frightening thought, one where she stepped over a line she had set for herself. What nonsensical notion did Tang So Ran entertain? How could she... with someone she'd only met recently... But then, why did that unbelievable notion unsettle her so much? "Why would I... with the chamber owner...?" "Then you have no reason to stop me, do you?" Tang So Ran questioned. "I'm asking Sir Seo Jin for help, not you." ...Sir Seo Jin. Why did hearing that make her feel so displeased? Cheongwol couldn’t understand her own feelings. Why was she so bothered by this situation? Yet, she had no grounds to stop it. She understood Tang So Ran's desperation too. But she hated doing nothing, letting it run its course. She sensed that if she did, things might spiral into an irreversible direction. "Sir Seo Jin—" "—Then...!" Cheongwol finally resolved to speak after much internal conflict. It was a poor solution, but it was the only thread she could grasp. "Then..." All eyes turned toward her. After a long hesitation, Cheongwol continued as if exhaling a deep breath. "...Just experience... it once." After all, it didn't matter. If Tang So Ran experienced it just once, she'd likely become mortified and flee. She was raised to be delicate, after all. **** "...Just experience... it once." The words made my mind whirl. Hey, you, why do you get to decide that?!