Chapter 48 City of Indulgence (2) - Martial Arts Masochist

City of Indulgence (2) SM is often linked with sexual acts, but it does not necessarily presuppose intercourse. It varies from person to person. Some may enjoy sexually tormenting their immobilized partner, while others might prefer the opposite. For them, physical contact might be essential for satisfaction. But for someone like me, I derive a deeper pleasure from the bonding of emotions rather than the merging of bodies. To me, the essence of SM lies in emotional connection. A single act of kneeling, the sound of a whip cutting through the air, the palpable tension between command and submission, these envelop me with sensation. The allure of SM, I believe, lies in the hierarchy of power, the structure of trust, and the solidity of the relationship. From that perspective? The world of courtesans is of no interest to a sadist like me. What is the point of a physical encounter devoid of emotion? Sex without affection is no different than engaging in SM without sentiment. It's simply a hollow gesture, meaningless exertion. I was vehement in my response. "Hey, Ju Hyeong! What do you take me for? I don't go to such places!" "...Is that so?" ...However, it's a suggestion he offered intentionally for my sake, so I inquired politely. "...But are they pretty?" "What?" "..." I gazed into the distance. The weather is nice. What kind of tree is that? Standing so lushly. In any case, I'm not asking out of curiosity, but merely appreciating the gesture from Joo Hyul. "I mean, I've only heard of them, never seen the courtesans myself..." Joo Hyul’s eyes sparkled for a moment. He wrapped an arm around my shoulder and said, "Ha, you rascal... Seo Jin. Why do you think courtesans are famous? Even without the Openness Gate or the Hao Mun, news about courtesans travels for miles." "...Is it that much?" "Courtesans are born to entice men. How beautiful are they? How smooth is their skin? How small are their feet? Not to mention the scent. Right when they're embraced, ah... that’s when a man realizes why he must live as a man. As a man, you ought to know." His words were crude, but somehow they intrigued me. "Hey, I mean... I don't know. It's just a transaction after all." "And what if it's a transaction?" "It's just too empty. Acts devoid of any connection." "Why think there's no connection? There is indeed." "...?" "Cheap courtesans might be as you say. But high-class courtesans, Seo Jin, they console the men who called for them, listen to their weary tales, sympathize, offer comfort, and then give themselves! How can you denounce that as empty?" ...Is that so? Listening, it somehow seems plausible. "Just as out of sight, out of mind, so is closer to sight, closer to heart. In the act of unity between a man and a woman, yin and yang, how could there be no connection?" As Joo Hyul explained, my defenses gradually weakened. "Facing each other up close, sharing conversations, letting hands meet, letting breaths touch, you might experience the greatest love of your life that night." "..." Living a life so distant from courtesans, curiosity began to stir within me. I had heard plenty of mundane sex stories from men who visited courtesans through Gwakdu Ajusshi, but considering the possibility of being involved myself, it stirred something inside. "Uh... Ju Hyeong." "Yeah?" Clearing my throat, I naturally asked, "Courtesans... can you spank them, with something like a switch?" "...Why would you spank courtesans with a switch?" The once amiable Joo Hyul momentarily turned stern. "Oh, no! I heard some madmen do such things and was just curious if the rumors were true. Right? Must have been weird rumors." "Cause a commotion at a courtesan house, and the Hao Mun guys might come for you." Momentarily snapped to clarity by the embarrassment, I told Joo Hyul, "All curiosities are resolved. Like I said, I don't go to such places." "It's not that you don't go, you just haven't been. To say you haven't been, at the very least, you should experience it once." "No thanks. Besides, I don't have money." "I have money, don't I?" Once again, my ears perked up. "...You'll cover it?" "I'm not usually like this, but men support each other, Seo Jin. You need to grow up." I glanced over at Gwakdu Ajusshi, who shrugged indifferently as if to say it was my choice. The decision was entirely up to me. "When do you plan to go, if we do? Not saying I will, just curious..." "Once we arrive at Seongdo, I'll take care of some things, get ready... hmm, perhaps two days after arriving we'll go?" "..." It’s purely curiosity, just curiosity. They keep saying it like this, so I’m simply interested in seeing why they make such a fuss about it myself. I’m not particularly interested. As I hesitated, Joo Hyul, perhaps impatient, spoke up. "Do you think this is an opportunity that comes easily? The courtesan houses in Seongdo are notorious, and guests have to wait several days to get in! I'm an outstanding merchant so I can manage with a little bribe... but you..." "..." "Seo Jin. It's not like we're suggesting immediate intercourse, just an experience. Go, have a drink with them, and if you spot a courtesan you like, take her in. If not, just drink and leave. What's the harm?" I watched Joo Hyul quietly, glanced at Ajusshi again, then propped my chin on my knee and said, "...Let’s go, then, why not!" Oh, he's gone to such lengths. I might as well give in...! **** "Thank... thank you..." The thick scent of blood. The metallic smell lingered in the air. Cheong Wol blinked her eyes as she regained her senses. Around her were the corpses of Green Forest bandits, and there were two women with tattered clothes, tears streaming down their faces. Six, maybe seven. Counting the dead was meaningless, but she completed it unconsciously. It felt as though if she didn't, she'd miss something essential in her humanity. "...I hope I wasn't too late." It was a formal greeting. The women, without uttering a word, nodded in agreement and barely stood up. Their lips quivered as they soon gave in to the tears they'd been holding back. Yet, Cheong Wol was not focused on their tears but on her hands stained with blood. ...Another murder committed since Amisan. These fiends deserved it. The Green Forest bandits who harassed women and plundered the region. In Cheong Wol's view, they were akin to rats or cockroaches—beings that should be crushed on sight. Their deaths serve the greater good of Zhongyuan. Nonetheless, Cheong Wol could not shake the faint guilt she felt. Her training as part of the Amisan left a deep root within her. Non-killing. She violated it once again. Did they have to be killed? Was there not a way to resolve the situation without murder? Cheong Wol knew the answer. Indeed, it might have been resolved without killing. Or perhaps, showing a few as examples could have sufficed. But the fact remains that she wiped them all out simply because she wanted to. Given her face was masked and she wasn't wearing any martial attire, there was no risk of her identity being exposed, so she found it easier to bypass the moral barrier. "Y-you are our savior. May I ask for the lady warrior's name...?" "..." Cheong Wol shook her head briefly. "...I understand it may be hard to gather your feelings, but it's time for you to rise. Lingering here brings nothing good." "L-lady warrior..." "I shall go my way now." "W-wait!" Leaving the women who called after her behind, Cheong Wol moved forward. She did not want to linger at the scene any longer. She detested becoming accustomed to the smell of blood. ... Late at night, Cheong Wol sat alone by a fire, lost in thought. The persistent smell of blood. The eyes of the dying Green Forest bandits. The sensation of bones crunching beneath her. And for a fleeting moment, the strange pleasure that arose. Cheong Wol bit her lip. Once again, she had done something she shouldn't have. She felt the dark grip within her stir—the feeling she had momentarily forgotten thanks to Han Seojin. Yet with Han Seojin gone, it rekindled so easily. Like embers thought extinguished that sprung back to life with the drying of Han Seojin’s water and the blowing wind of the Green Forest. "..." Cheong Wol pressed her chest firmly. There's a sense of suffocation. ...What if she never finds Han Seojin? If he never returns to Amisan? Must she live her entire life wrestling with this discomforting sensation? Finding him in this vast Zhongyuan, with no name, status, or background, is like picking up a grain of sand from among countless others. Cheong Wol's gaze darkened gradually. In hindsight, she had underestimated him from the beginning. She thought of him as a mere peasant who wouldn't get far, convinced his lack of martial and innate abilities would eventually bring him back. However, people do leave if they wish to. Han Seojin was no exception. Thus, Cheong Wol remained clueless about why he set out on his journey and where he had gone. It felt like retreating back into the dark cave from her time in the Amisan sect. A feeling of desperation without certainty in anything. "..." Cheong Wol tried to rest but stood up instead. She poured sand over the fire to extinguish it and stomped on it. Then, relying on the moonlight, she began walking again. Upon reflection, it seemed more convenient to search at night. If Han Seojin were on the journey, he'd likely have a fire somewhere. Let's pursue a bit more. Let's follow a little further. Taking action brought her a measure of relief. **** "Wow..." Finally, they arrived at Seongdo, early in the morning. It was her first time leaving Amisan and entering another city, and everything felt bright and new. The air was unlike the familiar mountain temple, filling her with a lively vigor. The city was bustling with people to the point of suffocation. "This is the continent." "What?" "Nothing." Under the fabric awnings, merchants shouted, trading peculiar herbs, simple tools, food, silk, and liquor all around. "Stop gawking, Seo Jin. You're like a country bumpkin." Gwakdu Ajusshi joked while laughing, but I had no intention of stopping my exploration of the surroundings. Endless rows of taverns and inns. Towering buildings stood scattered here and there. Though all seemed unlit at the moment, they would certainly come alive with light at night. As Joo Hyul mentioned, it's indeed a city of indulgence. “Alright, get down. You too, Gwak Hyung.” Joo Hyul halted the carriage and dropped us off. I offered a handshake to Joo Hyul. “Thanks for the comfortable ride, hyungnim.” “It was nothing. We were just on our way. It was fun, Gwak Hyung.” “Thanks to you, we were all happy.” As Joo Hyul smiled, he looked at me and said, “Seo Jin. Then as promised...” “...Uh, yes.” Oh, it's a strange feeling. The courtesan house, of all things. It’s not like I genuinely want to go. Really, I’m purely going because Joo Hyul hyung insisted. I’ll just drink and leave. “Meet here the day after tomorrow. Let’s meet around You Shi (from 5 PM to 7 PM).” Waving, Joo Hyul set off with the carriage, leaving. I watched him depart and muttered under my breath. “...Indeed, one must have skills. Right, Ajusshi?” “...” Ajusshi silently watched Joo Hyul leave, wearing a somewhat stern expression. “...Ajusshi?” “Hmm?” “Why the serious look?” “Hmm. It’s nothing. You're right. A man ought to have such skills.” Scratching his chin, Gwakdu Ajusshi continued. “Listen, Seo Jin. Now that we're in Seongdo, remember to be cautious of Hao Mun.” “That's random. Why would I have anything to do with Hao Mun?” “You said you caught Cheong Wol's attention, remember? That’s reason enough.” “...Hey, that’s why I ran away. Don't worry too much.” “...” Yet, the more I looked at Ajusshi’s hardened expression, the more it bothered me, so I promised not to take any risks. “I’ll be careful. I’ll just stick close to you.” Out popped another lecture. “How does a rascal like you plan to live alone again?” “What do you want from me exactly? Stick around, or take care of myself?” “That’s why I said you should’ve joined Gae Bang when I offered!” “How many times do I have to say I don't want to be involved with the martial world! I detest beggars even more. They’re useless. I’d rather live a life like Joo Hyung’s.” Gwakdu Ajusshi let out a grunt, then turned around. “Fine. Let's just go find the Sichaon Branch Leader.” Even among branch leaders, there are differences in hierarchy. The Sichaon Branch Leader outranked Ajusshi, who was the Amisan Branch Leader. “Where is he?” “Not sure. Probably sprawled out somewhere along the roadside. Once we talk to the Branch Leader, we can start looking for a new place you could settle.” **** “Phew…” By noon, Cheong Wol had set foot in Seongdo. Every direction she turned, people were everywhere. The noise of the market, merchants shouting, the clatter of cart wheels, and the air mingled with unfamiliar scents and dust. If he were here, she’d need to find Han Seojin amidst this crowd. The thought was overwhelming. Cheong Wol moved forward. No one seemed to pay her any mind. Even if they looked at her with some suspicion, they soon turned away indifferently. From her attire alone, it was clear she was a martial artist, but Seongdo was known for its abundance of martial artists. Among so many noteworthy figures, no one was particularly curious about one more. If she were to remove her mask and switch to her Amisan martial attire, she'd quickly be swarmed by the crowd. She was well-known in Seongdo from her previous visits, especially since she recently defeated Dok Bong, which likely elevated her status in the city. Cheong Wol didn’t desire any of that. If, by any chance, Han Seojin hadn’t simply moved on to another task but had actually fled from her, revealing her identity would be a grave mistake. ...That wouldn’t be the case, right? Cheong Wol constantly reassured herself. No, Han Seojin didn’t run away from her. Why, he had opened up to her so completely. Didn’t Han Seojin genuinely care for her? He even tried to dissuade her from the duel... embraced her when she cried, listened to her worries, and when she revealed her ugly truths, he did not condemn her. So it should be fine. It's just a lingering unease, because their final moments together were under such circumstances. Thoughts of a different outcome often nagged her, especially considering the chaos of the Tang family incident. Where should she start? As Cheong Wol ventured deeper into Seongdo, she pondered how to find him, assuming he was indeed in this vast city. In the throng of countless people, she detected a group that couldn’t avert their gazes from her. The beggars of Gae Bang. Sensitive to news, they probably wondered about the face beneath her mask. ...Approaching Gae Bang outright and asking? That wouldn’t be wise. She had learned that from her experience on Amisan. “...” Come to think of it, Han Seojin would have come here with a Gae Bang beggar from Amisan. Perhaps they were still together. To find Han Seojin, she should focus on finding beggars. But that alone wouldn’t be enough. What else could she do? While walking, Cheong Wol realized she was hungry. She had been on the move towards Seongdo without rest since yesterday. She found a nearby inn and quietly took a seat. A waiter hurried over and politely bowed to her. Cheong Wol whispered her request. “A bowl of grain rice and tofu, please...” “...?” Then she noticed a dumpling stall. Unknowingly, she asked, “...What kind of dumplings are those?” She asked cautiously. “Meat dumplings!” Cheong Wol’s eyebrows twitched slightly, a brief hesitation. Her body instinctively recalled the taste of Han Seojin’s dumplings from that day—after escaping from the basement in tears, how delicious they were. How warm they were. ... The fond memory brought an involuntary, gentle smile to her face. Perhaps the waiter caught a glimpse of her expression through the mask, as his mouth fell open in surprise. Composing her smile, Cheong Wol spoke again. “...I’ll have three meat dumplings, please.” “Yes, yes! Absolutely!” “Oh, and…” Cheong Wol called out to the waiter who was about to leave. She asked, “...If I wanted to find someone, how might I do that?”