902 - I Am This Murim’s Crazy B*tch

Swinging a sword atop a horse is indeed a distinct experience, offering a unique feedback that sets it apart. To compare, it doesn't feel like cutting but rather tearing apart. Speaking in terms of sensation, being on horseback provides a much rawer experience. Ah, delightful. “Please, spare me...! Urgh!” But why? Qing falls into contemplation. Considering the added speed of the galloping horse and the inertia from the higher vantage point, shouldn't cuts be smoother? Yet, why does it feel rougher, with the blade snagging on muscles, skin, and crushing bones, resulting in a rapturous destruction that rebounds violently? The feedback that transmits violently through the hand, wrist, forearm, and elbow joint... Wow, it's indescribable. “Split! You, over there, go that way!” “Aaaah!” As the Moonlight Sword descends vertically onto the bandit's skull, it resembles an axe embedded in a log. Ordinarily, it would have sliced through the spine and exited the back, but it halted, lodged at the neck vertebrae. In that moment, a revelation lights up in Qing's mind. Ah, I see now. “Why... why are you only chasing me...?!” The Moonlight Sword traces a diagonal path upward once more. The trajectory of the Sword Qi expands like a broad surface, stretching out like silk unraveling, marking its target with pinpricks at the bandit's location. The blade slips in softly, seizing the target soundlessly. Even after the blade passes through, the bandit takes two more steps, before his upper body slides and spills onto the ground with a thud. Hmm. As expected. Whether it's a sword or a sabre, the fundamental act is slicing. When a real man draws his sword, it must slice - think of it like cutting a radish. To slice a radish, one must either push the kitchen knife outward or pull it inward; in either case, the blade must move. If the blade is merely pressed down with its back, it's not slicing but severing or chopping. Thus, the arts of the sword and sabre involve slicing with the blade. Hence, one hones techniques and footwork designed to slice more efficiently and lethally. Riding high on horseback with straightforward movements, swinging like usual is akin to a forceful axe stroke. Thus, it naturally follows that the feedback feels rougher. Hence, martial arts practiced on horseback must be optimized for cutting through the dynamics of mounted movement. “Gasp, Ugh...!” Did those who devised martial arts consider such details meticulously? Modifying martial arts isn't an easy task… Thus Qing muses while pulling back the reins. The perceptive horse, Lu Bu, understands and matches speed with the fleeing bandit without decreasing its pace. About half a shichen later... “Gasp, Ugh, Gasp, Huff! No more, I can't go any further, just kill me! End it!” The man who had been running ahead of Lu Bu finally collapses onto the ground, panting heavily. An all-out sprint for half a shichen was a commendable effort, however, he seemed to have reached his limits. “Kill me? Sure. Request accepted.” “Gasp, wait, please spare me...!” “Beg for mercy? Accepted.” “Gasp, you're letting me live?” “I'll count to five. If you're caught, you die. If you run, you live. Starting now. One, two—” “Damn it, hell!” The man struggles to his feet and dashes off again. Yet his vigor is nothing like before. To run far, one must maintain a slow and steady pace, for if you rest, even momentarily, your muscles relax, and you lose all your energy. Still, the man runs on. His desperate sprint makes it look as if someone were threatening him with a blade. Because Qing truly is threatening him with one. And eventually... “Urgh, argh, ugh...!” The man abruptly collapses, clutching his calf in agony as he writhes in pain. The extreme exertion exceeding his limits likely caused a muscle cramp or, more severely, a snapped tendon. “Oh dear. It seems you don't really want to live? Shall I count to five again? One, two, three…” “Ahhhh!” At this point, numbers matter little. The bandit can't hear anything over the unbearable pain, the intense pounding of his heart, his laboring lungs, and the relentless demand for breath from his entire body. “...Four. Five.” Ah, unavoidable. I promised to kill him if caught; truly, there's no choice but to deal with this useless wretch for the world. A promise is a promise. Ximen Qing, a man of his word. And shortly afterwards... Qing stretches luxuriously. Behind the face mask, a brighter smile than ever. “Ah, refreshing. My, bandits in the morning? Perhaps today’s my lucky day? I feel a bit lucky?” This is the charm of solo travel. Traveling with friends bundles you into a group, deterring troublemakers from attacking. On a lucky day, everything aligns. Qing's fortune did not end with encountering a group of inferior bandits in the morning. Qing got lucky again. Having done a good deed early in the day and thus feeling peckish, she pulled out jerky to munch on. Suddenly, an inn appeared roadside, out of nowhere, as if it had been waiting. Of course, it's not unusual. In bustling areas, inns frequently appear along pathways, for in an era yet to conquer darkness, a roof over your head is preferable, even if expensive, to the dangers posing during a night stay out in the open. Yet, what a delightful coincidence for the inn to appear when Qing was feeling peckish. Sure, such inns tend to be a bit pricey due to their nature, but Qing's purse was generously filled, leaving her in a state of comfort. --- ### Terms and Translations: 1. **월광검** - Translated as "Moonlight Sword." The term refers to a specific sword technique or the sword itself, often used to depict an elegant, moonlit strike. 2. **여포** - Lu Bu: Here refers to the horse, named after the historical Chinese hero, suggesting a strong, reliable steed. 3. **강도** - Bandit: Refers to the group of criminals Qing encounters and deals with. ### Gender Identification and Context: - Qing is identified as female because of transmigrating into the body of the dying princess Yeonsul, consistent with the character's dynamics in the text. - The dynamic of Qing's interaction with the bandit illustrates her willingness to enforce promises, a theme that plays out within the narrative illustrating moral and philosophical undertones reflecting the nature of justice and survival. - The reference to inns along frequently traveled paths contextualizes the historical setting, indicating the practicality and necessity of seeking shelter when traveling alone during uncertain times. "Attendant, prepare the best dishes you have quickly, and make it plentiful. Just three dishes of each." "Certainly, please wait a moment!" It even tastes excellent! The Zhangyu might be slightly tough due to being made from dried meat, but the spicy seasoning is enticing enough to compel ordering a bowl of rice. The steamed freshwater fish isn't entirely free from fishy odors, but the bold spicy seasoning effectively masks any unpleasantness. The spicy meat dumplings are a delicacy I've never tasted, even in Sichuan. The noodles evoke a fiery nostalgia reminiscent of home with a throat-tingling broth, rarely found in Zhongyuan. Even the bok choy egg stir-fry, though a bit limp and lacking in freshness, boasts a spellbinding spiciness that keeps me coming back for more. Indeed, the power of spiciness is quite deceptive. When ingredients are subpar or the cook's skills aren't exceptional, there's no better way to hide the lack of flavor than with spiciness. Given the isolated location, maintaining the freshness of ingredients in this remote inn is naturally challenging, yet the chef's ingenuity transcends these limitations. ...or not! How much poison did they dump in here? While it did taste good. Perhaps it's from the numbing herb family? Or maybe a sleeping agent? Sure enough, the kitchen staff keeps glancing this way nervously. Qing dutifully slams her head onto the table. "Heh heh, the drug finally kicks in, doesn't it? We thought maybe this time it didn't work, given that extraordinary horse. We wondered if you'd slip away." "There will definitely be aftereffects. So, we'll just sell the horse and leave this town. But wow, what a fierce lady, consuming all that poison... even though I used up the rest just in case." "Perhaps she's an adept from the martial world?" "Adept or not, anyone consuming that much arsenic would end up dead, even the Great Sage of the martial world. Let's bury her and disappear quickly." "Before that, let's see the girl's face. You never know, right?" Well, indeed. Why else would innkeepers be among the lowest of the five professions? Being able to shift easily into human trafficking, robbery, or worse, this would be an isolated inn where no one could be the wiser. From her reclined position at the table, Qing's arm suddenly shoots out, clamping onto the attendant's throat. "Guh!" "Wow, something really fortunate is happening today." Qing grins, her lips curling into a satisfied smile. Having had a satisfying encounter in the morning and unexpectedly delightful lunch, now even exercise springs upon her right after finishing. And Qing's luck doesn't stop there. After dismantling and displaying the inn staff turned bandits, she continued her journey for another shichen. This time, her path is blocked by an arrow striking the ground ahead of her. How classic a bandit tactic. Wow, three bouts in a single day! Morning slaughter, meal time slaughter, and then again! And that wasn't all. By evening, Qing arrived in a place called Musun County, settled into an inn, and ordered a feast while waiting. “Are you the owner of that black horse?” “And if so?” “I am Lee Taeryeong.” Experience in the martial world tells us: if someone proudly announces their name, silently count to three. One, two— “Lee Taeryeong!” “Baeksan Twin Killers!” “Oh my God!” Baeksan Twin Killers. According to the renowned nomenclature of the martial world: Baeksan, concerning Mount Baek, Twin, indicating two people together, Killer. Murderer. Clearly the moniker of a wicked Madou. Moreover, if a nickname suggests a nefarious character, it’s definite proof they are vile villains deserving death without questions. “Possessing treasure without the might invites misfortune. This elder intends to relieve you of that burden.” Qing's mouth drops open. What? Is it my birthday today? Why so much excitement? Is this a lucky day? Even without anyone bringing me Seolleongtang? And shortly after. The notorious Baeksan Twin Killers ceased to exist, their infamy erased. Perhaps due to the pre-dinner exercise, dinner went down deliciously smooth. After what seemed like an extraordinary day, Qing headed out to procure mountain snacks, only for a sneaky hand to make its way toward her well-endowed purse. She swiftly clamped down on the thief's wrist and turned her head to inspect them, scanning over their head. Looking is prudent, as pickpockets often are minors, and Qing tends to spare those who are young. Above the thief's head, numbers visible only to Qing. Fully grown. Evil karma, human scum approved. Snap. The bone fractures audibly. “Aagh!” Followed by a grating sound of bone grinding. “Grr...!” The pickpocket collapses, foaming at the mouth. Unable to endure living pain of bone being crushed alive, shockingly pitiful. Leaving the incapacitated pickpocket behind, Qing hums as she wanders through the market. Wow, really, what's today all about? So amusing all day! Being rewarded for kind living? Really, if only every day were like today. Now that I think about it, Lu Bu might be a lucky charm. Excluding that pickpocket, aren't all evil people caught today thanks to Lu Bu? Qing's steps grow endlessly lighthearted. ---- ### Translations and Terms: 1. **장육(Zhangyu)** - Certain preparation of meat resembling jerky. It’s assumed to be tough and chewy but well-flavored. 2. **점소이** - "Attendant": Refers to the person serving at an inn, often seen as a shady profession within the narrative. 3. **마비산** - Translated as "numbing herb," often used in context with poisons or anesthetics. 4. **이태령(Lee Taeryeong)** - Translated literally to encompass a proper name, Lee Taeryeong. 5. **하오下五** - "Lowest of five professions": Referencing a societal view where certain professions are considered dishonorable. 6. **백산쌍살(Baeksan Twin Killers)** - Represented as notorious bandit figures known for violent exploits, using creative translation to convey menace. 7. **마두(Madou)** - Madou, mad demon, inferring to villainy and wickedness in martial arts context. 8. **Musun현(Musun County)** - Represents a location where Qing encounters the Baeksan Twin Killers. Assumes historical or fictional significance within the text. ### Context and Additional Notes: - **Lee Taeryeong and Baeksan Twin Killers** align with the martial world’s narrative, signifying foes Qing encounters. It's expressed with monikers indicating infamy. - **Poison Theme**: Qing’s food poisoning is a ruse by marauders, showcasing her ability to deceive them conversely. - **Character Identification**: Qing remains addressed using female pronouns, in line with her identity post-transmigration. - **Lucky Encounters**: Reflects themes of fortune and moral justice interwoven in martial narratives. If there are any terms needing adjustment or addition, please specify adjustments or insights, particularly regarding new contexts or conceptual nuances. Consequently, it was only natural for Qing to secure a room at the illustrious Yobin Inn. Furthermore, another notable guest had also taken up residence at this same establishment. "Master of Swords? Until now, I took pride in believing my appetite had no rival under the heavens, but truly, what a vast world it is." "Do you have a bottomless pit in your stomach? How is there even space? Unbelievable." Gangtalma couldn't take his eyes off Qing's meal. This is because, in this ancient era of the Yiwon division of Zhongyuan, witnessing a spectacle akin to a modern "mukbang" was an overwhelmingly captivating event for those wearied by the monotony of their times. --- ### Terms and Translations: 1. **검마님(Master of Swords)** - A respectful title that suggests an expert in swordsmanship with possibly supernatural or highly skilled attributes. 2. **강탈마(Gangtalma)** - This name likely refers to a significant character or antagonist with martial prowess, characterized by strength or cunning. Beyond the translation itself, this name implies a formidable presence, possibly an epithet. 3. **먹방(Mukbang)** - Directly translated from Korean, referring to a "broadcast eating" show where individuals eat large quantities of food, usually as a form of entertainment. In this context, it's used humorously to compare Qing’s eating to a captivating spectacle for ancient onlookers. 4. **요빈객잔(Yobin Inn)** - The inn where Qing and the swordsman stay. In this context, it's representative of a pivotal location for cultural and narrative interactions. ### Contextual and Additional Notes: - **Cultural Influence**: Associating the modern concept of a mukbang with ancient settings creates a playful break from traditional narratives, emphasizing Qing's notable appetite or dining style as both shocking and entertaining. - **Gangtalma and Terms of Address**: Reflects a potential martial identity with likely respectful or fearsome implications. It could be part of the broader narrative involving characters of significant clout or threat. - The depiction of Qing's eating habits through another's observation further expands her character, introducing humor and cultural critique.