915 - I Am This Murim’s Crazy B*tch

The city of Donhua in the lands of Manchuria. Given that the people residing in Manchuria are the Jurchens and nomads, the sight of a city with houses surrounded by thick walls might seem out of place. However, considering that the Jurchens today are a mix of wandering nomads with homes and settled residents who have built houses, it's not so unusual. The land of Manchuria has seen its ownership change hands, having been ruled by the Hans, Dongyi, Mohe, Khitan, and even the Mongols, resulting in a place rich with diverse customs. Thus, Donhua! Except for the windows, the thick earth walls or bricks used to reinforce the exteriors are typical of architecture in cold regions. And the fact that houses there are not large is another characteristic of cold region architecture. Therefore, the house at the corner of Donhua, despite its seemingly bland and unremarkable Jurchen exterior, had nothing remarkable about it from the outside. Yet inside, it was a different story. The walls were lined with golden silk, a high-class Central Plains bed that didn't match a Jurchen house was installed, after breaking entire walls to make one room. The inside was adorned lavishly with porcelain and mother-of-pearl. And then a woman entered the house, frowning at the gaudy display. "You summoned me? But honestly, every time I see it, it's completely tacky. Like a nouveau riche flaunting wealth? Ugh, that's the vibe." Swoosh, an apple suddenly sliced through the air. It was a straight pitch, flying directly at the woman. Thud. The woman struck by the flying apple toppled over. Not just toppled—although it's an apple, when thrown by a martial master, it becomes a terrifying weapon. The woman's neck twisted at an impossible angle, completely leaving her head resting on her back, her body twitching with severe convulsions. It was a gruesome sight, but the young man who had only raised his upper body on the bed merely furrowed his brow. "A monster opening its mouth without permission." He clicked his tongue and added. "Stop feigning and get up. Monster." Feigning? How could one say it's feigning when looking at a person whose neck is twisted backward, head pressing down on their own back? And yet— "Oops." The convulsing body rebounded from the legs to the pelvis, standing up. With the back of her head on her back, she appeared headless at the front. But only for a moment—now, she lifted her twisted head with both hands, adjusting it side to side. Crack, crackle, the sound of bones clicking into place. "Oh. Oh. Oh? Oh~, this is troublesome, you know? Even if I can't die, it hurts." "A monster that doesn't feel pain." "I'm talking about my heart. Devil King." "Call me Devil Emperor, monster." "Wow, calling yourself Devil Emperor, with a 'my lord' too, isn't that embarrassing? It's the kind of delusions children have, right? I am the Gluttonous Devil Emperor. The great Gluttonous Devil Emperor, and my achievement is eating people. Pfft." The young man, the Gluttonous Devil Emperor, reached towards the bedside table. Then the woman shrieked! "Wait! If I die once more, I'll have to report to Master, you know? Would you like to be left without a messenger again? If that's what you want." The woman spread her arms wide. "I'll take another trip as a break and meet Master. Okay, ready to die!" At that, the Heart-Seizing Devil hesitated. "Damn monster." "This monster at least doesn’t eat its own kind, so let's just call it a monster. Anyway." The woman grinned a mischievous smile. "Since you can't kill me anyway, I'm telling you. Master said that human desires stem from what they lack the most. So, the reason Devil Emperor is particularly obsessed with nobility and luxury is that, from the beginning, you're an exceptionally lowly pauper, oh, can you endure this?" The Gluttonous Devil gritted his teeth silently. This monster doesn't die easily or lack immortality, so if he handles her roughly, she will return to her master for repairs. She can use the mystical Heavenly Transmission to leap over ten thousand miles and share messages, so he can't just dispose of her because she's annoying. Once you get used to the convenience of a Heavenly Transmission, you can't go back to relying on slow couriers. Knowing this crafty monster, she deliberately provokes him when her spare life hangs by a thread. "Do you think I don't see through your schemes? Just like that sinister zombie witch subtly encourages your monsters to slack off?" "Heehee, isn't it inappropriate to speak ill of the benefactor of your precious daughter? To eat people and not even know what grace is, yet always saying monster, monster, making the monster feel bad, heehee." The woman smiled with a nasty grin. The Gluttonous Devil was boiling with anger, but he managed to suppress it. It seemed that this monster's provocation had begun crossing the line ever since his daughter was humiliated by the accursed Sword Demon. It seems he's indebted greatly to her Master, so he tolerates her ambiguous stance, barely cooperative attitude, and misbehavior. If it weren’t for that, regardless of being a hall master, he would have sliced that sneaky woman long ago. "Enough. Where's the princess? Is the Sword Demon not yet?" Then the woman continued to mutter to herself. "Oh. Wait a moment. Sayun, can you hear me? If you can, shake a carrot?" "No carrot? So, what's there? Something, beef jerky? Wow, tiger beef jerky? Delicious, ah, there’s none though…" "Yes, yes. I'm never doing well. Still, I get by because of our youngest. So, how about the Sword Demon? Did he catch the princess?" "Oh, I see. Well, that's not what matters. So, heh, I want to see it too. Yes. But, that's okay, ah! Hehe, I'll do that." The woman, who had been muttering to herself as if possessed by a ghost, dropped the radiant smile she wore. Instead, a sneering, displeased face settled in. The woman spoke. "Devil King, the Sword Demon says. Ahem, ahem, personally, an important matter has arisen, and regretfully, you'll need to take care of the princess yourself." --- **New Terms Translated and Explanation:** - Devil King (마군) -> Devil King; translated here as it matches the intent of the haughty title usage and hierarchical context within the sect-like organization, fits with typical martial arts novel terminology. - Sword Demon(검마) -> Sword Demon; matches the martial context, as "검마" typically implies a demonic sword master. - Gluttonous Devil Emperor(식심마황) -> Gluttonous Devil Emperor; title appropriate for a martial setting, suggests one who devours hearts, likely a moniker for a profound villainous character. - Heavenly Transmission(천음통) -> Heavenly Transmission; chosen to emphasize the mystical aspect of seamless communication over vast distances. - Zombie witch (강시쟁이년) -> Zombie witch; rooted in Chinese folklore with "강시" often being Jiangshi, implying something undead, retained here for cultural context. - Nouvea riche(졸부) -> Nouveau riche; a direct translation that suits the context of the described gaudy wealth. No changes are suggested for current terms, but an additional context might be required to fully grasp the stature and role of the characters within their respective hierarchies, especially understanding martial terms and the cultural backdrop in which these exist. The Gluttonous Devil Emperor gritted his teeth. "You monster brat, acting so brashly towards me, yet so respectful to that Sword Demon?" "Oh, is that what frustrates you? But while the monster brat lacks manners, Sayun's close sister is quite polite, you know?" "Ridiculous. You think that guy treats even monsters like you well? You're mistaken. He doesn't care about anyone but himself, a selfish, indifferent man. Pretending to be kind only because it's convenient." "Even pretending to be kind is something, isn't it? Can't the Devil Emperor pretend to be kind?" "Why should I? Only those who lack strength try to deceive with feigned kindness. A true strong person doesn't need to care about what others think." "Oh? But isn’t the Devil Emperor mindful of the hall lord?" At this, the Gluttonous Devil Emperor's temple pulsed with a vein threatening to pop. An ominous tone laced with venom escaped his lips. "Monster brat. The only reason I keep you alive is because you're convenient—" "By the way, the Sword Demon mentioned his personally important matter is seeking martial arts from the Heavenly Sword Flower. Apparently, the Heavenly Sword Flower is heading to Jangbaek Mountain?" The woman cut off the Gluttonous Devil Emperor mid-sentence. "Are you going to seek revenge on that Heavenly Sword Flower you hate or follow the hall lord's orders to deal with the princess?" The Gluttonous Devil Emperor clenched his teeth tightly. --- The White Tiger was the lord of Mount Tiger Peak. Of course, the White Tiger didn’t realize it was called the mountain lord, nor was it aware that its territory was known as Mount Tiger Peak by prey. What mattered to the beast was that its territory covered the nearby mountains, and that the prey living in packs below were quite vicious. Thus, the White Tiger rarely descended into the den of prey unless it was extremely hungry. This was because if you waited near the bare area without trees at the mountain base, isolated prey often passed by. Just as it was now. The White Tiger’s eyes gleamed brilliantly from atop the tree. Prey ascending from below. Three fierce, two-legged creatures and one delicious four-legged creature. The White Tiger's gaze fixed on the four-legged creature. The two-legged ones were many and good for filling the belly, but their innards tasted too wild. However, the four-legged creature's innards were marvelous enough to make its tail stand on end. The clever White Tiger slowly lowered its body. Letting the two-legged ones breed and feasting on the four-legged one, the White Tiger drooled heavily in anticipation. As the prey approached. The White Tiger leaped down with graceful movements, letting out a loud breath with its mouth wide open. And as usual, the two-legged ones would flee in terror, and the four-legged one would freeze in fright… or so it thought. Of course, in this world, not everything proceeds according to the expectations of a mere beast. "Hmm? What's this, another tiger? Why are there so many tigers?" "Can't wild boars or Sarongs show up instead? Tiger meat isn't tasty." "Ah, Sarongs, they were quite delicious indeed." bWpnL1VNWWVlR0h2N0IyVWd5ZUJTL3dYeTNMdUZMY2tBbDRJUTA3dTBqU0tVeUxlbTZ0YVl1SU5HSDNUSC9Fcw - Pururuk. The prey nonchalantly emitted a cry. The White Tiger was dumbfounded. It sometimes encountered such behavior from two-legged prey, but never had the four-legged ones disregarded it. That’s because the quadruped, Red Hare, had no fear of mere tigers. Having been trained as a warhorse, its original timid nature was reprogrammed, and among them, Red Hare was exceptionally clever. Much higher in rank than a tiger, to Red Hare, being in its master’s presence meant it shared the same prestige. The pride-stricken White Tiger roared out, a unique low-frequency growl of a predator. Grrr...! The sight of a large tiger, baring its yellow teeth and growling, would indeed terrify ordinary folk into wetting themselves, surely? However, Qing was a master. Even as a novice, she had never feared a mere tiger— "Shall I handle it? Or would you like to, Elder?" "The blade gets dirty. Cleaning off the grizzle takes forever." "Well, can't be helped, then. Hmm," Dong...! Along with the sound, the ringing of a great temple bell was heard. It was the last sound the tiger lived to hear. And then? The tiger died leaving its pelt, and even in death its meat was left behind. Given the nearby shifting agricultural villagers were severely hungry, they were capturing any tigers they saw and turning them in. However, tiger meat isn’t tasty... The starving villagers ate heartily, and its pelt became the cassock of the venerable Tripitaka Master, draped over his shoulders. "[I am the Great Tiger King, Ximen Qing! The tears of you pitiful creatures have called upon me, and I will feed you in proportion to those tears! All you spirits of the world, follow this Tripitaka Master!]" The Lion-furred yokai king, veiled in secrecy, would raise its blade high, and all other yokai would rush out, chanting her praises and following in her wake. "[Hooray! Long live the Great Tiger King!]” “[Sauce Master! Sauce Master!]” “[All you bastards, I'm gonna kill you!]" It would’ve been less confusing if it were just one of “Tiger King” or “Tripitaka.” This was, after all, Ximen Qing. Why? Because this was the answer from the sage of Fengchengli. ‘[May I humbly request that perhaps you would also take it upon yourself to discipline the corrupt officials in this locality?]’ In fact, the local officials and clerks, honestly speaking, were more beneficial to the court dead than alive. The very power the court currently found most troublesome and aimed to subdue were these local aristocrats, the clerks. The court was most wary of the middlemen and clerks who had gained power while the court’s grip weakened due to a previous Japanese invasion. That’s why, currently, people often turned a blind eye when landlords were beaten to death by tenant farmers. But the issue lay with the local officials. --- **New Terms Translated and Explanation:** - White Tiger (대호) -> White Tiger; translated to fit with the cultural context and significance of tigers in martial settings and legend. - Red Hare (여포) -> Red Hare; a famous warhorse linked to Lu Bu, reflects cleverness and its fearlessness depicted in the text. - Tripitaka Master (삼장 법사) -> Tripitaka Master; referring to the Buddhist monk Xuanzang from the "Journey to the West," emphasizes a role of leadership and wisdom. - Lion-furred yokai (사자 모피를 두른 요괴) -> Lion-furred yokai; yokai indicates a supernatural or spiritual being, matches main characters' contexts. - Sage of Fengchengli (풍청리 선비) -> Sage of Fengchengli; kept as it blends well into wuxia', giving cultural and contextual flavor. The above translations retain the nuances related to cultural and mythological references, focusing on preserving essence over word-for-word accuracy. According to the national law, such offenses should be met with severe punishment, but such penalties have their advantages. Most of the local officials were sent after purchasing their positions through bribery, seeking to retrieve their investment by becoming more tyrannical. In other words, if a local official dies early, their position can be sold again for a profit! For those powerful figures within the court, this is rather welcome news. But then again? In Joseon, ever since the war, there is still a shortage of people, where even one person is precious. Thus, any movement must be substantial. A rebellion in one district could be completely scorched for the sake of sending a message, but wiping out several districts, especially those at the borders, is a troublesome burden. So what happens then? "[Acknowledged.]" This is why a specter is wandering throughout Joseon. A specter named Ximen Qing. To hunt the corrupt officials of Joseon—that is, those greedy officials and landlords sucking the lifeblood of the populace—the specter has made a pact with the people. Corrupt officials indeed... (the text is abridged).