923 - I Am This Murim’s Crazy B*tch

With her body burdened by fatigue and newfound fullness, the drowsiness that had been creeping up on her vanished in an instant. It was the sense of urgency that caused her heart to plummet. As long as the secret manual was in my hands, or more precisely, as long as the manual wasn't hidden in Chun Cupman's mountain hut, those after it would inevitably seek me out. But is this really a genuine secret manual? After witnessing something distasteful, I feigned interest in things I cared nothing about, and it seems I am in for a future predicament because of it. All of this for a secret manual I never even desired. Despite holding this manual, I feel uncertain about its authenticity, which only makes the situation more frustrating. Even before Qing became a formidable fiend, she was known for her thievery of martial arts techniques. Her methods were notoriously insidious, and her offenses particularly heinous because the victims often didn't even realize they'd been robbed. Should one obtain a proper manual, it immediately registers into a mysterious phenomenon known as the Preliminary Registration. Once that occurs, it's possible to mentally carve the manual's contents directly into one's brain—such a feat could only be described as a tangible form of mnemonic learning! This process also served to distinguish a genuine manual from a fake one. A true manual, when touched, causes a corner of your vision to shimmer like a defect in the eye, seeking your attention as if crying, "Look here!" demanding you heed the martial arts window. Some even suggested that this martial arts window was not merely a convenient cosmic mystery but actually the manifestation of the mystical art, the Formless Martial Arts, often abbreviated to Wuxi. There were claims that it allowed for an intuitive understanding of the essence of martial arts, yet Qing never lent her ear to such theories. Simply because there were too many strange occurrences already. What about the ability to comprehend every language in the world, execute them effortlessly, and the surprisingly favored brush script that Qing suspects stemmed from Hangeulization? Upon mastering martial techniques, one becomes stronger, senses sharpened, and the mental arts accumulate internal energy in leaps and bounds—this mysterious potential for growth is indeed wondrous. Naturally, merely contemplating it brought forth no concrete conclusions, or worse, deeply unsettling ones, thus making it an unhealthy curiosity detrimental to one's mental wellbeing. Hence, Qing preferred not to dwell on it. Either way, despite holding the Xuanwumu manual—or perhaps due to it—there was no reaction whatsoever from the martial arts window, or Wuxi. This could mean the manual is fake, incomplete, or possibly due to the claims made by the fleeing Demonic Marauder who shouted that Xuanwumu was a jinx and not martial arts, but sorcery, making it unusable? Given the situation, I might as well have been better off had I been able to learn from the Xuanwumu. Instead, now I'm being pursued because of an unusable manual. This feels just like a gemstone merchant suffering a two-million-won loss, just endless losses. Qing flips through the manual with a troubled heart. "[...And thus, the adept shall achieve greatness, becoming the Northern True Martial Heavenly Emperor, soaring across the lands... Even without a Blue Dragon, or Vermilion Bird, or White Tiger, without the Xuanwu... Water's absence would see the world and all things within cease to exist. Xuanwumu is the finest martial vein among the Four Guardian Beasts and surpasses all worldly studies in excellence...]" "[...Training first requires affinity with water, to rid oneself of fear and suffering caused by water. The initial step is to drink water through the nose, to be rid of pain and feeling any fear of water entering the nose...]" But wait? This training method seems a bit off. "[...Repeat, initially using lukewarm water, gradually moving to hot and cold water, then to the point where you can even drink marinated horse water rapidly... this process should also be practiced with eyes and ears...]" Horse-marinated water? Isn't that like drinking Mala soup through the nose? Until one can gulp it down effortlessly? Eyes? Ears? "[...Those familiar with water fear not entering it, hence the need to familiarize oneself by drenching in water immaculately, thereafter being suspended from a rock thrown into water... and finally, to repeatedly experience submerging and surfacing on a waterwheel, so comfortably it becomes possible to dine and sleep peacefully throughout...]" Hmm. "[...Having befriended the water spirit(水氣) in this process, now is the time to separate and feel the water spirit from the world's essence, cultivated through currents. By diving into rough streams and experiencing the flow with one’s body... through immersing in freezing waters to feel the cooling effects of the water spirit... entering hot waters to become aware of the thermal effects...]" Suddenly, I feel a bit sorry for Kim Heo-jung. It would be completely understandable that his personality could turn out odd when subjected to this—no reasonable person could endure such madness without losing their mind. Qing closes the book and looks again at the title. Is this truly the Xuanwumu training method, or is it a comprehensive guide to water torture? At that moment, memories of torture flood Qing's mind. Memories from Shintu (신투) lessons of being stretched on iron racks until limbs were elongated unnaturally, or tied down and wrenched until joints were bent, with excruciating pain bordering infinity, passed down from former to future Shintu in a hateful cycle... uh, no, Could it be that training just sometimes gets a bit harsh? Training comes with its tolls. Eagles? Hawks? Whatever the bird, it shatters its own beak to grow a new one, plucks its talons for new ones, plucks feathers for new feathers (though likely not true). Furthermore, lions supposedly drop their cubs off cliffs (also untrue), originally harsh training and struggle bleed into life—isn't that how it integrates into one's being? Even growing mere muscles requires enduring individual tears and pumping weights, exercising by running or climbing stairs is equally painful. Even more so, how could martial arts not be painful? It might resemble torture, but so what. Did they deliberately make it painful for the disciples' suffering? It must be due to its effectiveness. Pain is the warrior's path! Hmm. Hmm. Indeed. Rather so. Regardless, the treatise on water torture was quite captivating. Ah, there were some notably impressive parts that Qing would like to try if she ever captures a villain. Terms: - "Chun Cupman" (추꼽남) - A fictional character whose name conveys a particularity about the character. - "Kim Heo-jung" (김허중) - Mentioned character whose reaction to the text implies known history in the storyline. - "Northern True Martial Heavenly Emperor" (북극진무현천상무대제) - A title illustrating a significant and powerful martial figure, translated to match grandeur. - References to torture and training methods integrate with Qing's experiences, showing the character’s unusual acceptance and resilience to pain. Context: - The comedic tone permeates throughout, blending absurdism with a critique of mystical martial arts and the unorthodox training methods. - Qing's system mechanism and history offer depth to their skepticism and tolerance toward torturous training, contributing to character development. Having discovered that the true nature of Xuanwumu was not Ice Arts, but rather a technique for manipulating water itself, was valuable information. Especially since the initial thought that fighting on my home turf would be advantageous proved incorrect. Facing someone who uses water in a place like Ziwei Junction, where the mighty water of the Changjiang River flows, means I'll need to engage them in a dry area instead. "Haaaah..." Qing yawns widely, her jaw nearly unhinging. As the shock from the betrayal by Miss Gong Sun-Yoye begins to subside, a wave of fatigue overcomes her once more. So Qing throws herself onto the bed. In times like this, it’s crucial to be meticulous about one’s physical condition. Besides, she had decided to escape into the Central Plains, active at night and resting during the day. This isn't a thought born out of drowsiness; it’s a very wise and strategic decision... Soon, a soft snoring filled the quiet room. ---- In life, even the most serene individuals have moments where anger suddenly flares. Being forcibly awakened shortly after falling asleep is one such moment. Bang, bang, bang! Bang, bang, bang! The harsh pounding on the door. Martial artists tend to be light sleepers, but this pounding on the door was so intense that even the heaviest sleeper wouldn’t stay asleep. Lying on the bed, eyes closed, Qing’s eyebrows twitch. "What the... who..." It feels as though she just closed her eyes and opened them again. The light filtering through her eyelids suggests that the sun is high in the sky. Who on earth wakes someone up when the sun is blazing? Isn't it possible that someone might need to sleep during the day? Qing distinctly recalls hanging a 'Do Not Disturb' sign on the room’s door, so what is this nonsense? Bang, bang, bang! Bang, bang, bang! Bang, bang, bang! The persistent rhythm only adds to her anger... Qing pulls the covers over her head. Since she had only been asleep for a little over an hour, an abrupt awakening would only leave her groggy, with a headache, a sharp temper, and without the will to do anything. So go ahead, keep banging. She decided she'd keep sleeping. Eventually, they'd get tired and leave. If they hurt their arm, that's their fault, and if they break the door, well, they'd have to deal with that... Qing defiantly stayed put, furious. Yet, the knocking not only failed to cease but grew even more insistent and emotional. Bang, bang, bang!! Bang, bang, bang!! Bang, bang, bang!!! "Ah, for crying out loud!" Qing sat up abruptly, her eyes glinting like ax blades in fury. Then came a deep inhalation and an explosive roar filled with wrath! "ERRQHHH!!!!! Hey, you bastards! Shut up with the banging! Let me sleep! PLEASE!!!" The force and volume of her roar were such that it seemed to shake the very walls of the room. Perhaps due to the sheer intensity of her anger, the knocking fell silent. As Qing blew through her nose and was about to lie down again... - "Excuse me, esteemed guest? It seems you should come out. The bannered warriors have ordered us to vacate, and while you might not be aware as someone from the Central Plains, in Manchu lands, defying the Eight Banners is not an option." The urgent voice belonged to the shop assistant. Typically, shop assistants use plaintive tones to cater to guests, but this time there was genuine desperation. Given this... Irritated, Qing flung off the blanket, dusted off her rumpled clothes, and quickly donned her overcoat before twisting her head around to locate a cloth mask tossed in the corner of the bed. She opened the door with some frustration to reveal a warrior clad in armor dyed blue, with iron plates sewn under the fabric. Behind him, half-hidden, was the shop assistant—no, the shopkeeper. The term '점소이' denotes a second-in-command (소) at the store (점), with the owner being '점로대,' the elder (노) head (대) of the store. At least it was the shopkeeper directly coming instead of the assistant, showing a measure of respect. "[Have you woken up? I will overlook the rudeness for disturbing your sleep. Our Eight Banners have requisitioned this village, so I advise you to pack and head eastward promptly. If you leave now, you will comfortably reach Boma Village before nightfall.]" Hmm, what language was that? It wasn’t Joseon, nor was it Mongolian. As Qing was perplexed, the shopkeeper behind the warrior spoke in a helpless voice. "Esteemed guest, due to the clan leader's event, the entire village is mobilized, so you'll have to head to Boma Village. You should be able to reach it before sunset, and we will refund your money. Also, since lunch seems unlikely, we'll prepare some rice balls for you." "Shopkeeper, are you being threatened? If these guys are like bandits or something-" "What are you saying? The Banner warriors are our protectors. I'm genuinely sorry, but because of the clan's event, next time you visit, I'll ensure you receive special treatment." It turns out the shopkeeper was more concerned about Qing, who had her rest disrupted, rather than fearing the armored man. He was subtly taking refuge behind him, implying she was indeed seen as a form of protection. There is authentic remorse in his demeanor, devoid of any coercion. Feeling futile resistance brewing, Qing scratched the back of her head. Since it’s a clan matter, should I really interfere with it... "Whatever grand event could evict outsiders like this? If it's good, we should enjoy it together." Though spoken with a sigh, it signaled Qing’s compliance, visibly alleviating the shopkeeper's anxiety. "Oh, it's not that sort of event, um, I really can't say. I'm truly sorry, and I'll especially cater to you next time." "[He has agreed to pack and depart, my lord.]" ### Translation Notes: 1. "Chun Cupman" (추꼽남) - Unique fictional name referring to a specific character. 2. "Ziwei Junction" (자귀현) - Translated as "Ziwei Junction," referring to a strategic geographic point. 3. "Boma Village" (보마촌) - Village name translated directly, implying familiarity in the context. 4. "Eight Banners" (팔기) - An elite historical military force associated with the Manchu. Translation preserved the context. 5. "Joseon" - The historic dynasty of Korea, translated to maintain cultural relevance and context. 6. "Changjiang River" (장강) - Known as the Yangtze River, central to water strategy context. The dialogue and internal monologue convey Qing's sarcastic, practical tone and subtle acceptance amidst surreal situations, maintaining narrative style consistent with previous sections. "[Hmm, still, since you are a guest on our Jurchen land, you might find out what's happening later, so let’s not leave you too disappointed,]” he said. Ah, so this is the language of the Jurchen, Qing realized. She then began to gather her belongings. In truth, there wasn’t much to pack since she had immediately laid down after skimming through the water torture—no, the secret manual. There wasn’t any cumbersome packing needed. With her baggage slung over her shoulder, Qing descended the stairs, only to witness a scene of pandemonium on the ground floor. People, adorned in clothes of every color, were bustling about, sweeping and organizing, laying things down, pasting others; it was quite the chaos. Feigning interest and leaning against the stairwell, Qing dragged her feet, biding time. Because, well, she was promised rice balls... Even if she were to arrive before dinner, she needed something to eat for breakfast—or lunch at least... So she loitered there, spending time idly. “Hmm? You seem like someone from the Central Plains, am I right?” A man approached Qing, striking up a conversation. He seemed familiar in his golden silk attire—wait, wasn’t that a uniform of the Brocade Guard? “Oh, do I stick out?” “Well, any woman donning the Heavenly Flower style and carrying a sword is inevitably a martial artist.” The man waved his hand in front of his face. The Heavenly Flower style, an imitation of the Heavenly Sword Flower, was in vogue, a must-have for female martial artists and had even become trendy among ordinary women who admired lady warriors. “So, what sect and name do you belong to? When did you arrive here, and where are you headed?” As was their wont, the Brocade Guard was demanding personal information. But really, addressing me so informally—he doesn’t look much older than me. Still, such attitude from an official of the Central Plains wasn’t anything new. If I resisted too much, he’d probably retaliate, calling me impudent. Moreover, it’s not like I have anything to hide, right? “I’m Ximen Qing from the Divine Maiden Sect, are you aware I hold the rank of Censor? Should I show you my official badge?” At this, the Brocade Guard’s eyes widened in surprise. But only for a moment, before immediately snapping into a formal, upright stance, declaring loudly. "My apologies, Lord Officer!" ### Translation Notes: 1. **Jurchen (여진족)** - Refers to the historical ethnic group from Manchuria. Translated as "Jurchen" to maintain historical context. 2. **Brocade Guard (금의위)** - Historically elite unit in China, translated to match historical recognition. 3. **Heavenly Flower Style (천화양)** - Referring to a popular style among female martial artists influenced by the title of Heavenly Sword Flower. 4. **Censor (감찰어사)** - A government position responsible for supervision and inspection, retaining the official tone of Qing's response. The passage retains the comedic undertone of Qing’s interactions and perceptions, reflecting a nuanced interplay of societal norms and martial hierarchy. The use of language and titles contributes to the cultural context of a historical martial arts scenario.