Infinite Regressor, Chapter 414 - I’m an Infinite Regressor, But I’ve Got Stories to Tell

The Teleporter. Go Yuri. "……." As I received the business card summarized in just two lines in my mind, countless emotions crossed through me. Of course, besides [Teleportation], it was certain that she harbored innumerable hidden abilities. If the wailing sound of the wind rising from the bottomless pit left in human memory were an awakening—. Then the countless holes pierced in Go Yuri's heart would themselves be clusters of awakening. Yet among them, [Teleportation] was the ability I, Old Man Scho, we all longed for so desperately. Despite searching until the end in vain, the Inuaki Tunnel was procured to establish at least a swift passage for movement. Of all places, it was the Inuaki Tunnel I had taken as my hideout as a returner. It was partly for convenience, but it also reflected my determination to never forget Old Man Schopenhauer's "wish." "...I don't know if it sounds like resentment, but may I say something?" "Oh, I don't mind at all, Doctor." Go Yuri smiled broadly. "For me, engaging in such a straightforward 'conversation' is itself a pleasure. Hehe. I'm not sure if you're able to read my expression, but... I'm quite delighted, you know?" "...Why didn't you save Old Man Schopenhauer?" Those words escaped my lips. "You could have saved him. Truly. Old Man Scho probably couldn't even discern who or what you are. But silently moving Madam Adele to be beside that old man—that should have been a simple task for you, no?" "……." Go Yuri's smiling face calmed down like matcha powder settling. "Why didn't you save him? You could have saved him. That's what you're asking, isn't it?" "Yeah." "Hmm." She appeared somewhat troubled, lost in thought, before displaying an action I had not foreseen. She suddenly began removing her jacket. "……?!" I reacted faster than thunder, turning my head away instantly. I felt no lust whatsoever, to clarify. As I confessed to everyone, as an undertaker, I always, instinctively perceived the appearance of those I interacted with in the iterations where they met their death. In other words, the image of Go Yuri's decapitated head, achieved in the 89th iteration in one swift stroke, was played continuously on the undertaker's private broadcast channel, 24 hours a day. Moreover, it wasn't just visual. The auditory aspects were realized in ultra-high fidelity. It meant her severed head was smilingly saying, "Let's become one," with a grin. It would have been more surprising if lust were involved. "What... Why so suddenly—?" "It's okay." What was okay about this? I was the one feeling far from okay? "Turn around, Doctor." "……." The moment I opened my tightly shut eyes. I could only gaze speechlessly upon a scene I had never anticipated. Even in everyday life, Go Yuri never exposed her bare skin. Even when wearing the green apron labeled 'The Romance of the Three Kingdoms' while serving at the free dining room, her entire body was always covered without a gap with fabric. Thus, in this eternal returner's life, witnessing Go Yuri's bare skin for the first time should have been inevitable—but there wasn't any bare skin. Her back, with protruded spine. So densely covered with black markings, that no skin was visible. [Lee So-young/6/17/13:59] Names. [Kim Ha-neul/11/2/22:45] [Mateusz Kowalski/5/20/23:56] [Park Jin-woo/3/12/08:21] Names. Like epitaphs. [Jeong Da-yeon/1/6/10:18] [Han Yoo-jin/12/14/15:27] [Lee Soo-won/8/22/11:11] [Shin Ye-lim/8/8/19:12] [Kang Tae-hyun/5/20/23:56] [Aisha Khan/7/19/14:44] [Choi Min-seok/9/25/17:03] [Lucia Romero/11/3/18:18] [Tanaka Yuki/12/27/06:40] [Yoo Seo-yeon/7/3/06:35] [Marco Bianchi/2/28/12:00] [Moon Chae-won/10/10/09:09] [Nguyễn Thị Sophia/8/16/20:25] [Cho Eun-bi/12/21/16:45] [Omar El-Said/6/5/00:02] [Jang Eun-seo/7/27/20:40] [Noah Smith/9/1/14:11] [No Hyun-woo/5/13/05:25] [Anastasia Volkova/10/31/03:03] [Yoon Ha-rin/10/31/03:03] Names and dates. Inscribed in letters as small as possible for the human eye to discern. Across her back, arms, waist, throughout her entire body. "I don't have a memory as good as yours, Doctor." Turning her back to me, Go Yuri spoke. "So I wrote down as much as I could remember." "...Dates of death." "Yes. The times when my cherished ones would die. If the butterfly effect manifests strongly, even this doesn't hold much significance." Slowly, she pulled her clothes back up. I watched, speechless, as the cemetery, composed solely of letters, was concealed. "It's a sort of charm. They’re all precious to me, but among them, I especially, especially recall the moment I write their names. I reflect on that life once again." "……." "Then, occasionally, I turn a mirror this way and that—Oh, why did I write this person's name again?" She tilted her head. "—sometimes forgetting the reason completely. More frequently than I'd expect." "……." "In those cases, from the next life onward, I don't write that person's name or date of death. It's like tossing the notepad file into the trash bin with a swipe." Words didn't readily come. Regarding the method of escaping from that cemetery of oblivion, I could say for certain unlike anyone else in the world. I knew the side effects of that method more intimately than anyone. "Perfect memory ability." "Yes." "...But having a perfect memory means you have to bury your own senses in the grave as a tribute to remembering others." "Yes." "We each reflect the endpoints we can reach by our respective routes." Go Yuri turned back to face me. Her face still bore a smile. "All abilities are both blessings and curses. But the human heart is fickle, often envying what it lacks." "……." "I pondered a lot too. Take for instance, Doctor, Lee Ha-yul is incredibly important to you, isn't she? But after hundreds of iterations, it reached a point where you no longer remembered Ha-yul." "……." "I imagine you'd find that heart-wrenching." Indeed. "So, Doctor, I hope you'll never consider the abilities you possess as curses." In that moment, I realized. "You deliberately chose not to obtain perfect memory so you could say that to me, didn't you?" "……." Her face bore a slightly surprised expression, followed by a smile. Her gentle gaze lingered on my face. It was a look that said she understood that I had grasped her intent, and was aware that I comprehended her understanding. After releasing a breath I hadn't realized I was holding, Go Yuri murmured quietly. "Schopenhauer can only awaken to the ability to regress after losing his wife." "……." "I tried various methods. At one point, I even attempted to develop a route with Schopenhauer as the 'protagonist' rather than you, Doctor. But crucially, his mentality is weak." The greatest weakness of a returner. "He only awakens as a regressor after losing his wife. Yet, upon losing her, he can't find enough happiness to keep living as a regressor." "...A dilemma of choices indeed." "Yes. It would be convenient if he could easily find new love. Honestly, my father's extreme devotion is a bit troubling." Go Yuri covered her mouth, laughing. "On the other hand, Doctor, you were exceptional." "……." "Your abilities—truthfully speaking—weren't anything extraordinary. You were an F-rank. Oh. Initially, Doctor, you were a completely ordinary person with no abilities at all." "Was I?" "Yes. Yet, your resilience—oh my, your resilience. It was astounding how incredibly strong it was. Honestly, even as more awakened ones started appearing, you always led the reconnaissance of the final defense line." "Hmm." I couldn't relate. It was a 'past unremembered,' after all. However, watching Go Yuri talk about me felt, how should I say, a bit more animated than usual. "You became a cherished member of your family and died once—surprisingly! In the next life, you were still without abilities. Could you believe it?" She seemed somewhat delighted, so there was no choice but to let it be. "I was truly the perfect younger sibling." "You were?" "Yes. And you were the perfect older brother, Doctor. People in the reconnaissance squad were so envious of us, they said. Even now, when you're with Lee Ha-yul or Sim Ah-ryeon or Oh Dok-seo or others, you create an atmosphere so gentle that others envy it. But still, having witnessed us siblings, I think those relationships aren't quite a match." "No, come on. Isn't that quite an exaggeration?" "If you ever realize just how much of a braggart you can be, you'd probably be embarrassed, Doctor." "……." Understanding my own tendency to be a braggart, I quietly sealed my lips. "We were such a loving sibling duo. When I was kidnapped into the void, tortured almost to death by monsters, you were in such agony." "……." "But when you sought out your next life, surprise? There you were, not awakened at all...!" "Hmm." "Could it be—your endearing behavior towards your sister was all an act? A performance? Unbelievable. To think you fooled the eyes of a reincarnator. This wouldn't do. This time, I vowed to become even, even more precious than your past sibling, so you'd fully awaken... ." Amused by something, Go Yuri chuckled to herself. "Perhaps it turned into a challenge." "...Sorry for being so indifferent." "What? No, no. At first, I thought so too. But it wasn't." Go Yuri looked at me. "Doctor. Do you have any guess when and how you had your first awakening?" "No. Not at all." "It was when you heard my story." A story? "I tried for about six times to lay out the strategy for your awakening, but it wouldn't work, so I confessed in a state of giving up. Outed myself as a returnee." "Ah." "My plan was to say to you, 'I’ve never met someone like you. Why won’t you awaken? Was your affection for me a lie?' But as you listened to my story, unexpectedly, you —." 9 I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not remembering. Sorry for not remembering you. 10 "You started crying." "……." "Ahaha. You were so bewildered, huh? You held onto me, apologizing over and over, saying you were really sorry. This brother, the one who stood firm even as citizens perished when the defense lines fell—why was he suddenly acting this way?" At that moment. "Embarrassing as it is to admit, I shed tears too." "……." "Oh, I realized then. I wanted to hear an apology." Go Yuri extended her hand. Her palm gently caressed the head of the returner. "The human heart is truly sly, isn't it? It's perfectly reasonable that everyone wouldn't remember me. And here I was wanting an apology for forgetting a life not even in this world, but this is such a mess." "……." "I didn't have [Perfect Memory Ability] from the start. It was simply that my memory improved a little. You were always good with memories anyway. To be honest, it's hard to evaluate it as a meaningful awakened ability. Hmm, FFF-rank." Still. "I think perhaps, I wanted to be a little spoiled by you, Doctor." There could have been several reasons. I treated precious family members as capsule draws in the quest for an SSS-grade ability user. Beyond that, I distributed happiness and suffering like a lab mouse to maximize the awakening level. A criminal act that would horrify my first-life self. An egregious crime that would elicit the question, "How can you still call yourself human?" Before completely despising myself, while the remnants of my first life's self still lingered as vestigial organs, now was the time. "I thought perhaps it might be okay if it’s the Doctor—" I took a gamble. "No more reincarnations. Although, truthfully, I kept reincarnating. I decided it would be the end of using my reincarnation to awaken people." This is my final life. "I decided to make this person, this man, my final destination." The route is fixed. The butterfly effect is suppressed. People to save and those to discard are selected. Among them are countless S-rank ability users. Discarded. The "undertaker" is set at the center of the route. Simultaneously calculating the paths of billions, crafting the "optimal route." It must be crafted. It can be crafted. Adjust Uehara Shino’s position. Instead of appearing in the previous Seongsan Ilchulbong tutorial dungeon, adjust her to appear in Busan Station tutorial dungeon. Change the location of the saint Jeong Yeji. To prevent her from being caught when the void manifests in Seoul, certain groundwork is necessary, which in turn causes the paths of three S-rank awakened ones to clash. Ignore it. Push through. "It was tough." The reincarnator realizes that the resource they thought was infinitely theirs—time—was actually the most lacking. "I was happy." Even while using teleportation to somehow craft the optimized paths and best routes, inevitably, "abandoned" schedules emerge. The farther from the Korean Peninsula, the more intense the effect. It could not be helped. The undertaker in the center of the route lacked the ability to teleport. Discard. Discard. Discard. Discard. As completion neared, it bizarrely appeared to be a world where "most ability users were concentrated on the Korean Peninsula" when viewed from afar. But the opposite was true. It was a world where "most ability users outside the Korean Peninsula were discarded." For instance—as routes changed, the location of Leviathan's emergence varied. It was fixed to a middle school girl living in a slum of Seoul on the Korean Peninsula. A world of the best. A calculation of the worst. A possible world existing for just one person, where the best and worst coexist. "I'm sorry, but this was my best." Go Yuri reached out her hand. "Doctor. You may not remember, but long ago, truly in the distant past, we made a promise." “…What kind of promise?” "I asked you." Can you save me? "You answered." Absolutely. No matter what, I will. "Now, I'll ask one last time." To renew our old promise. "Will you save this world and me?" Without hesitation, the returner took the reincarnator’s hand, enveloping the intertwined hands with their other hand. Humans have two hands. They could layer two hearts upon one promise. "Absolutely." "……." "No matter what, I will." A smile slipped from the reincarnator’s lips. "Let’s become one, Guild Master." The next moment, when he opened his eyes. Finally, the returner could recall everything about the events that transpired in the first iteration. - Reincarnator. End. ---TL NOTE: Damn.---