Infinite Regressor, Chapter 420 - I’m an Infinite Regressor, But I’ve Got Stories to Tell

All the plans were perfect. At least, that's how they seemed until I, the Undertaker, got hit. 'Go Yuri. A person who fell into becoming the worst anomaly while trying to save humanity.' 'She is now remembered within my perfect memory as a [human] who crossed billions of lives.' Of course, my memory was on a different level compared to that of others. "Oh my." "Look at this, look at this." The difference in this dimension was evident just by glancing at the Go Yuris who were chatting and testing the limits of onomatopoeia right in front of my eyes. "Now we have truly become one." Go Yuri over there. "But isn't it burdensome for the Undertaker if all of us, representing billions, were to fill the Busan Station Tutorial Dungeon at once?" Go Yuri here as well. "It's a grand human gathering." "Yes. It would be reasonable for only one person to come out at a time while the rest reside in the subconscious world of a dream within a dream." "Then we have to decide who will stay in reality with the Undertaker." "Should we draw straws? Or maybe a tournament?" "Fairness or dopamine." "Truly a difficult issue..." The ultimate Go Yuri chaos party. "Quiet down. You're all giving me a headache." "Yes." "Yes." "Yes." "Yes." The Go Yuris obediently responded. While on the periphery of my vision the Go Yuris engaged in a dice-rolling tournament with billions participating, I calmly surveyed my surroundings. The waiting area of the Busan Station Tutorial Dungeon. 'As expected. I can't see any sign of Dok-seo...' This was the 1,085th iteration. In the previous iteration, I experienced every single life of Go Yuri. Quite literally, I walked a life identical to hers. Now, a personal distinction between Go Yuri and me was meaningless. I was Go Yuri, and Go Yuri was me. In this state, Go Yuri, who had undoubtedly existed in reality, willingly became infected with 'Udumbara.' Udumbara, the world tree that silences the screams of all awakeners. The ability of reincarnation she possessed was also eradicated at that moment, and finally, the reincarnator completed her long journey and sat at the terminal station called 'me.' Go Yuri, a reincarnator who was once known as 'Su-yeon' in her first life, succeeded in discarding the void-touched self that had been corrupted. 'Now, all that's left is to seal myself.' My sealing method was much simpler. 'Once Oh Dok-seo writes the complete chronicle of my life, and I get infected with Udumbara like Go Yuri, everything will be over.' It wasn't just me. 'Ji-won, Yo-hwa, Dang Seo-rin, too. No, I shall bloom Udumbara across this world to infect all awakeners...' 'Even those shrine maidens who have become one with the Alien God will also be infected with Udumbara.' This way, the Alien God, the anomalies derived from the Alien God, and the awakeners imbued with the void called awakening will all be— 'I can reset everything at once.' The issue was Shin Ah-ryeon. The abilities Shin Ah-ryeon possessed fundamentally resonated with Udumbara. If Udumbara were to truly grow immense enough to become a 'world tree,' there lay the risk that Shin Ah-ryeon would equally fall to the level of an Alien God. 'Thus, in each iteration, I infect her with Udumbara little by little. This way, I can minimize the risk.' A grand downfall. During the epic of this downfall, to control any unexpected variables, I, the Undertaker, had to remain until the very end. And beside me, Oh Dok-seo just needed to diligently write the novel, the sealing phrase, to seal me— "...Why is she not in the Tutorial Dungeon?" To reiterate, the most crucial person in my plan, Oh Dok-seo, was nowhere to be seen. 'There must have been some error.' Desperately, I applied a positive twist to my thoughts. 'In the next iteration, perhaps Oh Dok-seo will appear with a ta-da— Yes! Of course.' Next, the 1,086th iteration. Oh Dok-seo still did not appear. "......" Neither the 1,087th iteration nor the 1,088th. Not even the ones after. Even the resilient mentality of a regressor, whose only strength lay in being optimistic about everything, inevitably began progressing through the five stages of grief. "No. It can't be that Oh Dok-seo died. Why would she even die? If she just avoided dangerous places and used her AT Field just in time, she should have been fine!" Denial. "Dok-seo! Wasn't it enough to save Lady Adele and make contact with the Old Man Show, Dok-seo! What trouble have you been stirring before the starting point of the regression?!" Anger. "...Could it be the trick of the All-Game-Merriment's mischief? Surely not. I pummeled it thoroughly until it declared defeat and surrender just in case. But still. If she fell for the whisper of the All-Game-Merriment and decided to become a god of a new world?!" Fear. "Right, our Dok-seo supported Noh Do-hwa, didn't she. I neglected the romance part where the Undertaker flirts with the head of Noh Do-hwa's management, didn't I. Dok-seo, can you hear me? Are you reading my monologue? Ah, you can hear it, right?! The 10th iteration. Fine. I'll dedicate as many as 10 iterations to Noh Do-hwa management head route. Ha! Isn't this the best deal ever? So, Dok-seo. Stop fooling around, just save Lady Adele and come here. Okay? Sorry for always pushing you to write. Our writer. From now on, how about writing just one chapter every ten years?" Bargaining. "......." Acceptance. "Okay." In truth, I already knew. "You did not agree." That Oh Dok-seo might react in this way. As someone who had been helping and watching over her for thousands, even tens of thousands, of years, it was a scenario I could foresee well enough. However, I had not considered this possibility very highly. The reason was simple. "From your perspective, I'm a future being you have never actually met. A character in a novel. Nothing more than an unknown stranger." Oh Dok-seo was different from me. As a transmigrated book character, she had distinct qualities that set her apart from both regressors and reincarnators. "You and I never had any intersection in reality." A regressor lived by repeating their life over and over. Thus, even if others couldn’t remember the regressor, the regressor could remember the bonds and vows they made with others. Reincarnators lived by continually repeating others' lives. Therefore, for reincarnators, the boundary between themselves and others did not exist. You were once me, and I would one day become you. Transmigrators were different. For transmigrators, life was a one-time event. They were themselves, and others were others. "As of now, neither reality nor you and I have built any bonds. In terms of affinity, it's zero. Even with severe overestimation, it's hard to exceed fifty." Read an intriguing novel. Found a mysterious prophetic text. Even so, to risk one's own life for a peculiar 'mister' who would only feature in the lines of text, aiming for an uncertain 'happy ending.' "Is it really possible?" The odds were abnormally low. If my judgment had a loophole: "...It would be that you're far more abnormal than probabilities would suggest, Dok-seo." At some point, Oh Dok-seo and I forged a bond where we wouldn't think twice about risking our lives for each other. Oh Dok-seo couldn't remember that. She only witnessed through sentences intertwined with her writing style that such things had happened. 'With just that.' With only that, Oh Dok-seo decided to bet her life on me. "......." "A curious misstep indeed." One Go Yuri, who had lifted the final victory cup from the largest tournament battle in human history, smiled gently beside me. "Undertaker, you don't trust the memories of ordinary people. Not out of disdain, but because they genuinely can't remember you." "......." "You don't expect the impossible from others. You don't frivolously hope and don't get hurt needlessly." Go Yuri hummed softly. "That attitude is fundamentally why you can blend with others, Undertaker. Therefore, you naturally didn't expect unimaginable achievements from Oh Dok-seo." Go Yuri and I were similar. We both knew the feeling of hurt when others couldn't recognize the 'past life' or 'previous iteration' versions of ourselves. "But it seems Oh Dok-seo was an anomaly, a person our attitude couldn't capture." "...Kids. They never grow or act the way we expect them to." "Exactly." Go Yuri chuckled quietly. "I'm on hard mode. I've lived through time immeasurable. Undertaker, you're on normal mode. You've lived for tens of thousands of years." "Yes." "I wonder how many years Oh Dok-seo will live? Until she reaches the endless June 17th summer's station." Iterations flowed on. With each, Oh Dok-seo's name was the first recorded on the list of deaths I couldn't prevent. 'Dok-seo.' Once, I wished that child wouldn't bear all the burdens. 'You don't have to save me. This uncle would be satisfied just appearing in the lines you read, in the prologue of your story.' Would my voice reach her? And if it did, would she understand? "......." I felt profound ambivalence. I hoped my words left here would eventually be understood by her, if not now, then someday. I believed she would understand. But understanding my words meant she would experience the same wounds as me. I hoped the wound wouldn't be too deep. 'I don't know if I want it to be understood or to remain misunderstood. This is perplexing.' Ultimately, there was only one terminal station of hope: 'I hope you become strong.' To walk strongly. And strength is something one must attain by oneself. The 'prophetic text' or 'strategy guide' Oh Dok-seo would read contained my biography, my experiences, my recorded failures, mistakes, and successes. That was all. The only thing I could pass on to the child named Oh Dok-seo was my life. 'I cannot become strong in your stead.' I tried. Even as Oh Dok-seo repeatedly met her end every June, I couldn't simply watch and hope she would naturally become stronger. 'Could she perhaps newly awaken a time-machine ability?' I tried. 'Could I unfold the ultimate skill of somehow severing time with the blade given by Noh Do-hwa's manager, which transcends dark space...?' I tried. "......." For hundreds, thousands of years, as Go Yuri watched silently beside me, smiling faintly, I struggled to gain new scars to help the child. And then, I realized. "Damn. This isn't going to work, is it?" I laid down my cane-sword. Iteration 1,183. Exactly one hundred iterations had passed since I lived Go Yuri's life. A regressor still hadn't gained the ability to shift time further backward. Could-be-is. Won't-happen-won't. No matter how desperately I tried, I lacked the 'talent.' "I told you, Undertaker." Go Yuri whispered gently. "You critically lack the talent for wounds. No matter how much you're wounded, you never give up." "...I thought that was my strength." "Every strength has its embedded weakness." She giggled. "What started as merely losing a regressor comrade named Emit Schopenhauer now includes cyclically losing the transmigrator Oh Dok-seo 'before the regression.'" "......." "But from Oh Dok-seo's perspective, it's the opposite. She's aiming for victory in a world without the Undertaker. Hmm. On second thought, it might not be easy difficulty." It might be similar to the difficulty I faced, Go Yuri breathed out quietly. "Ah. I might have witnessed an entirely new possibility." "What is it?" "Like this, the Undertaker continues to search for someone to seal him. Oh Dok-seo failed, so next one. Then the next. Then the next. But each time, others struggle to save the Undertaker—resulting in all of them perishing before reaching June 17th." "......." "So, even as you regress, the people around you will dwindle. It starts with Oh Dok-seo. Then someone else. And then another. Until eventually... you regress, and no one is left! Goodness. A conclusion where only one regressor remains in the world, the result of everyone struggling to save that one person!" "......." "But Noh Do-hwa will remain." Go Yuri smiled brightly. "Because she will never die trying to save you. She will keep living, solely to kill you in a world where you are alone." "Indeed." I gave a wry smile. "That's truly the perfect bad ending." "The demise of all for one person. It's romantic. Hmm, I don't think it's bad. If that's the conclusion of humanity, I can accept it." Go Yuri gazed far into the sunset. "Now you understand my gamble. Undertaker, I bet on your success in a situation similar to what you're facing now." "Is that so." "Yes. Thanks to your competence, and because you didn't give up, I didn’t fail—and here we are, able to talk." Go Yuri’s eyes turned to me. "What about Oh Dok-seo?" "......." "Will Oh Dok-seo be as competent as you? Will she be as relentless?" The world had perished. Again. "About entrusting the grand finale of this life to Oh Dok-seo, do you have any regrets?" "Hmm." Go Yuri’s words were correct. Finally, I understood how wholeheartedly she entrusted her ending to me. "I don't regret it." "Why?" "No one has read my life as closely as that child. Everything I could give and couldn't give depends on her. Even if Dok-seo fails, well... from my perspective, I might feel sorry, but I won’t blame or regret it." "Absolutely?" "Absolutely." I lived earnestly. I strove. I never gave up. "Just waiting." To wait. Waiting for someone. For a regressor like me, who had lived longer than anyone else, it was an unfamiliar experience. A regressor was always the one others waited for, and they never waited for anyone else. Simply because they knew what events would unfold. Who would be where and when. Where someone would survive. Who would die if you didn't go. A regressor was a kind of omniscient being. They were always urging themselves onward, to quickly reach those who were waiting for their arrival. Unless you were a failed regressor like the old man, Show, who brashly declared, "If you don't do it, I'll just leave, good luck." 'But... I see.' Now I understand. "Waiting isn’t so bad after all." "Ahaha. Isn’t it?" "Yes." How did the regressor named Emit Schopenhauer feel as he took his life over a thousand times? Was it stubbornness? Pride? Guilt for finding peace before his comrades? Love for his wife? Despair? There must have been many reasons, but one of them, I finally guessed, must have been 'faith in me,' 'support,' 'waiting.' "Even if I had given up, old man Show would have understood. Though we never had the chance to say it." "Yes." "But if there were some miraculous way for him to receive my resignation word, old man Show would have felt... sorry for me." "Yes." "We're all in the same boat." "That's what it means to be human." I waited. At the end of the world, a world without you, I waited for you. I waited. And I kept waiting. "......." "Look at that." One day. "Yu Ji-won has died." "Indeed." "It's odd. Even if it means reunion, the pledge not to die before seeing Matiz again was the most unshakeable vow buried in Yu Ji-won's heart." "......." Something had changed. "Yes, it’s confirmed. Yo-hwa has died. Hmm-. And no voids manifested at Baekhwa High School." "What in the world?" "It means the void that was supposed to manifest at Baekhwa High School was triggered somewhere else earlier. But it didn't go as planned, and the party perished together." "......." "But Undertaker, didn't you notice something else strange?" "What?" "Jeong Yeji's telepathy." "......." "The messages from the constellations. You're not hearing them, right?" The world continued its cycle of destruction. Countless people died, and you were among those predestined deaths. The altered dynamics of the world you had changed were so different from the history of regression I knew that even with all my experience and 'regressor's knowledge,' I was helpless. As a result, the situation worsened. But. "She's coming." This was also part of the waiting process. "Step by step." Though unseen and unheard. "Here." As I had done for Go Yuri. Oh Dok-seo. When I looked back, the child was drawing near to my wait.