Infinite Regressor, Chapter 468 - I’m an Infinite Regressor, But I’ve Got Stories to Tell

6. "Sis? Why do you look like that?" "Wait. Sis... are you crying right now?" "Oh. Well, no. At least explain why you're crying." "It's okay. It's okay, sis. Don't cry. Why are you crying, you fool? Don't cry." "...Sis." That night, Cheon Yo-hwa experienced heartbreak. 7. The word ‘unrequited love’ was truly inaccurate. When one says ‘pair,’ it sounds as if a partner perfectly matching oneself is assumed. A best friend or partner. Even if it's not now, it carries a nuance that implies there might be hope someday. Reality was different. Wouldn’t it be more accurate to call it ‘one-sided love’ or love shattered in pieces - ‘fragmented love’? "Ah, Go Yo-il!" "Oh. Welcome, Sect Leader." The feeling of her heart being split in two. "Wow. Perhaps it's because you've ascended to a high position; your face seems to almost shine with brilliance these days." "Haha. It's all thanks to you, Go Yo-il!" Even when she smiled, it didn’t feel like a smile, and even when she thought, it didn’t feel like she was thinking. The term ‘unrequited love’ couldn't fully capture this feeling. "I’ve heard everything from Ji-won. You’re planning something interesting over at Stanford, right?" "Ah, yes, that’s correct." "Well, well. So, Yo-il oppa, it turns out that the reason you won over a lady like me to this position was to make use of our sect's assets?" "Yes, I won’t deny it. I desperately need your help, Sect Leader. A novice like me can't accomplish such a task alone." "Oh dear. It would be a bit difficult for us to go all the way to California for this project. But we owe you so much, we can’t turn you down. Really, it feels like I’ve been hoodwinked, you know!" "Haha..." "Oh. I glossed over it, but is it alright if I just call you oppa in private? Yo-il oppa?" "Um, yes. Of course. Feel free to call me whatever makes you comfortable, Sect Leader." "Aww, you’re too polite. It’s okay to be casual, oppa!" "Well, that might be a bit..." She wanted to die. Every time Cheon Yo-hwa met Go Yo-il, she was excited. Yet excitement didn't always imply a good phenomenon. Her heart raced uncontrollably against her will, her face flushed, and no matter how much she tried to wear the mask of 'normality' she had crafted all her life, although she was skilled enough to fake it, sometimes her true feelings would spring up, causing her words and sentences to splinter and falter. The hinges of her heart creaked. No one had entered the room. Alone in the room, Cheon Yo-hwa repeatedly grasped the doorknob, opening and closing it, greeting and bidding farewell to the air of someone who would never come there. What remained in Cheon Yo-hwa’s memory after parting with a smile were the awkwardly disjointed words and sentences she uttered during their conversation. "...Sis." No, to be precise, she wasn’t completely alone. In front of her younger sister, Cheon Yo-hwa didn’t have to smile. She didn’t need to smile. "If that was the case, you should have just said so." Her sister seemed to have guessed everything, even without Cheon Yo-hwa having to spill her heart out. For the first time in ages, yet frequently these days, her sister stroked her. "Can’t you give up?" "..." "Should I... make it go away?" "No!" Her voice tore. Without realizing it, Cheon Yo-hwa screamed as if in a fit. "No. Absolutely not. Don't do that." "Why...?" Her sister's voice was calm. "You feel it too, don't you? Ever since father died, our powers as divine beings are growing stronger. If we decide now, we could surely make that person disappear—" "No! I said no!" Who was she shouting at? Cheon Yo-hwa felt as though her heart was being submerged in a hot swamp and was drowning. "They're different! It's not like that. It's not like that. They're... they're different from something like us." "..." "I'm sorry. I thought my feelings would disappear. Just after a few years. I don’t know why they haven’t vanished. Sorry. Father is gone. That person is gone too, so only happiness should remain. Why." She wanted to die. Why did she act coy in front of Go Yo-il every time they met? Why could she only dwell in the air filled with laughter and smiles? Why did she feel so embarrassed, ashamed, and anguished every time she stood in front of him or turned back? "Please, I'm begging you. Yo-hwa, don’t... don’t meddle with her, with Yu Ji-won. Just, don't touch her. You shouldn't. It’s not right." “If it’s made to look like an accident.” “No. I know this, Cheon Yo-hwa. We both know, don’t we?” “...” “She’s a very, very beautiful person. Not like someone like me. Sorry. I didn’t want to say this. I’m sorry.” Her sister hugged her. And with the same face, the same hair, and the same eyes, she murmured. "You were only ever meant to love one person. That’s just how it always was." "..." "Perhaps it was Go Yo-il who chose such a person from the beginning. Among countless choices and candidates... Yes. It's ruthless. Truly." Time was dying. However, only the time within Cheon Yo-hwa was dying. Outwardly, as the newly empowered Sect Leader, she managed the organization efficiently. Her skills blossomed phenomenally. It was as if she was born with an innate instinct for organizational management and resource allocation, seamlessly achieving not only the existing operations of the sect but also the ‘Time Capsule’ quest entrusted by Go Yo-il. "I've assembled all the personnel needed for the operation. So, Yo-il oppa, how exactly do we create this Time Capsule?" "Well. I have this ability to seal time, and that's what I plan to use. Sect Leader, I bet your Outer God is getting stronger, right?" "Oh, yes!" Go Yo-il referred to the deity inhabiting the sisters as an Outer God. Strangely, Go Yo-il possessed more detailed and precise information about the ‘divine being’ than the sisters themselves. It was probably information he had obtained from a reincarnated individual. "Sect Leader, have you been having strange dreams recently?" "Gasp!" “The dreams feel uncannily vivid, almost indistinguishable from reality, and when you wake up, are you able to remember them almost entirely as if they’re lucid dreams?” “Wow...!” Cheon Yo-hwa exaggerated her reaction. Such exaggeration would be imprinted as ‘a natural trait of Cheon Yo-hwa’ to the person opposite her. “How did you know?! I’ve been really troubled by this recently!” “That’s also a power attributed to the Sect Leader. Think of it as a sort of simulation ability.” “Simulation...” “Yes. If provided with enough data, the Sect Leader can run through any scenario as a simulation. Ah, of course, it won’t work for things that are outright impossible. Only feasible scenarios.” “...Is that so.” So was the dream where we kissed last night actually a possible event? In an instant, that rebuttal nearly slipped out, but Cheon Yo-hwa managed to hold it back just in time. It wasn’t particularly difficult. After all, she had become quite accustomed to suppressing things in front of Go Yo-il. “So, you’re using my simulation ability to create a time capsule? Hmm, I can’t quite visualize it yet.” “My time seal. Your simulation. And your sister must create a nightmare creature.” “My sister, too?” “Yes. It’s quite complex... Anyway, focus on cultivating your powers for now. Oh, and of course, I don’t mean to the extent of letting the Outer God corrupt you.” “Hmm. So what’s my role?” Go Yo-il grinned awkwardly. “I’d like you to ‘simulate’ the events between Ji-won and me.” She paused. Cheon Yo-hwa pretended to casually put down her coffee cup. A café run by a fellow believer. Though they had reserved the shop, and they were the only customers, it felt nice to shed the title of Sect Leader for a bit and experience ‘normal’ outings like a date. Naturally, behavior like this couldn’t avoid fostering rumors. Within the church, followers would subscribe and like every move Yo-hwa made on their mental YouTube. In the sect, Go Yo-il was already seen as the sect leader’s consort. It wasn't as though Cheon Yo-hwa was unaware and avoiding those rumors. In reality, it was entirely different. Such tricks were clearly useless in changing the ‘relationship’ between the two. “Presumably, you’ve gathered but... This is the real reason we initially approached you.” Because of love and the inability to love, she discovered the traces of someone she cherished but could never hold dear. "It’s a mission impossible without your collaboration, Sect Leader. It’s a plan only you can help us with in this world.” “...Ah.” “Will you help us?” It was wretched. “Hm, well. Yes!” It was merciless. “It’s a request from you, after all. How could I refuse? Haha, are you really okay with this?” “Pardon?” “Because this means I’ll know all about what happened between you two. You know, this or that. Ah! So embarrassing!” “Eek. Well, it’s a little embarrassing, but that’s okay. I trust you, Sect Leader.” “...” She felt the corners of her mouth tremble slightly. ‘What are you doing, Cheon Yo-hwa?’ Laugh. “Hahaha. Oh, oppa. If you trust people too easily, you might end up regretting that later, you know?” Yeah. Laugh. Laugh it off. It’s what you do best, isn’t it? Smiling. “Oh! But… Umm. Never mind, forget it.” “Yes? What is it?” “It’s nothing! We can just skip it.” “No, please do speak comfortably, Sect Leader. Haven’t we accomplished the most challenging task together?” Hmm? Isn’t there something else you’re even better at than laughing? “Uhh... Sigh. Actually, within the sect, people make weird assumptions about our relationship.” “Yes?” “Well, uh. Oh. Don’t get me wrong? I don’t think that way at all! It’s just, the believers who don’t know any better—those nobodies—are saying it’s weird. Like why are we giving an outsider like you so many privileges?” “...” “Rumors like that circulate sometimes. Seriously, it's like these cockroaches never disappear no matter how you get rid of them. Right?” “No matter what, killing them is...” “No, you need to be decisive about these things, oppa. If I, the Sect Leader, say to ignore it, they should, right? Yet here they are, climbing up and meddling in our business?” “...” Acting. Scheming. You excel at deceiving and manipulating others, don’t you? After all, you managed to fool even father. Indeed, in this, you are far more competent than Yu Ji-won. So enviable! "Haven't you seen enough blood? I believe there might be a more moderate approach." "A more moderate approach..." Steeple your fingers, rest your chin, and act as if you're just pondering—naturally and disinterestedly. Just look at him. He's watching with such a serious expression, isn't he? Is he really worried about the lives of church members who mean nothing to him, even as he believes the world is ending? Why? How foolish. "Well... there's been some chatter about whether you and I might actually be dating... which would explain things to them." How foolish. "Oh, don't worry about it! The elders here have always had plenty to say about my friendships." "Ah..." How foolish. "They all know how pure and devoted you and Ji-won are to each other. I do!" "Ji-won and I aren't that sort of relationship..." "Hehehe. That’s enough. When you go to California, I’ll book first-class tickets and hotels for you two so you can enjoy your journey!" "...." "When you return, I'll clear up any noise in your absence. So don’t worry!" "...." How foolish. "—Sect Leader." "Yes?" "Perhaps... that idea might actually work." "What idea?" "Engagement." "Eek." How foolish. How foolish. How foolish. "Think about it. We won't actually get married; we'll stage an engagement to mask our relationship. That way, there won’t be any objections when using the sect's resources." "Uh, um, well... I’m not particularly against it, but are you okay with that, oppa?" "Yes. As long as we postpone the wedding date, the world will end before the day comes. If merely an engagement can sway the sect's opinion..." "No, not that. What about Ji-won? You have Yu Ji-won, don’t you? Are you okay with being engaged to me?" “Ah.” Go Yo-il smiled. He realized the intent behind her question yet considered it pointless. A vague yet warm smile spread across his face. There was boundless trust there. "It's fine. If it's with Ji-won." "..." "Because I trust her." Half a year later. Cheon Yo-hwa and Go Yo-il became engaged. Some members expressed dissatisfaction over Go Yo-il's status as a prospective husband being too low, but his educational background was respectable enough, and at the very least, complaints weren't openly expressed. "...." Rustle. The engagement document, painstakingly written with each character—bearing both Cheon Yo-hwa's and Go Yo-il's names neatly—crumpled in her hands. "Hahaha." She wanted to die.