Infinite Regressor, Chapter 477 - I’m an Infinite Regressor, But I’ve Got Stories to Tell

5. Whether delivering pizza or coffee, what moment is the most terrifying for a delivery person? "Yeees. Coffee delivery is here――." It's that moment when you return to find your previously fine friends, some who've mysteriously been shot, others with bashed heads, with blood splattered all over the place, and the ground inexplicably on fire. "……here?" Silence. No one responded to the Undertaker. "?" Holding the carrier jam-packed with coffee in both hands, he tilted his head in confusion. Of course, the fire burning wasn't literal. It was merely a mental image. 'What's going on?' He blinked. Suddenly, the scene in front of him reverted to normal. The grass wasn't burning. There wasn't any murderous tableau of swords clashing and blood spilling—it never existed to begin with. 'Did I just see a hallucination?' If the world were still amidst a bizarre apocalypse, the Undertaker would've promptly wondered, 'Is this an anomaly?' and taken action. However, these were times of peace and prosperity. Even if Cao Mengde were reborn today, it was a world where he might jot "Consultant Genius" in his future aspirations. Though being a professional hunter of anomalies, the Undertaker could only feel uncertain and doubtful. "Uh, so... I brought coffee." "Oh. Uh, thanks, sir." Oh Dok-seo finally responded. "Oh, right. Dok-seo. Here's your espresso." "Yeah......" There wasn't anything unusual about this. After all, it was Oh Dok-seo who had tasked him with the coffee delivery in the first place. "Ah!" "?" But the moment their fingers brushed while passing the espresso, the startled action she demonstrated, as well as the slight blush on her cheeks, was inexplicable. The Undertaker barely managed to prevent the coffee from spilling. "What was that about?" "Um, um……." Oh Dok-seo twisted her body nervously. Watching this unfold right in front of him, the Undertaker couldn't help but think to himself, 'What's this new form of madness?' "Well, you see. I really didn't know until now. That unregistered reader who always commented first whenever I uploaded a new chapter... It was you, wasn't it." "?!" He was taken aback. 'How did she find out?!' In truth, the Undertaker had always felt sorry for the literary girl frequently criticized on SGNet for her inconsistent updates. However, he knew expressing that pity directly would only lead to one predictable outcome: Oh Dok-seo, already mentally fragile, would grow emotionally dependent on him. Thus, the Undertaker… always remained strict with her face-to-face, while online, he acted anonymously, part of a mysterious legion of commenters, always defending the honor of "literary girl"! Let’s mentally list the comments left by his masked persona: -Anon: To be honest, there's no other writer who wraps up stories as deliciously as this person does... lol... -Anon: Sure, her update schedule's erratic, but nobody can fault her writing skills, right?? -Anon: A superstar that both her critics and fans go crazy for? Love it lol -Anon: Literary girl’s akin to a legendary Michelin three-star fine dining restaurant. Only opens when the chef feels like it, adding to its rarity. And so on. He would change IP addresses using admin privileges to post these comments. Even his tone and phrasing varied slightly. Why hide it? Many of the complaints on the forum, like "Why's that literary brat so popular when she's just a chronic absentee updater?” stemmed from...! The Undertaker’s masked antics, indeed……! His steady Three Kingdoms references under his main ID, ensured that during these anonymous acts, avoiding such discussions would allow him to blend seamlessly into the crowd—a piece of advice (feat. Universal Play) that perhaps held some truth. Whether that advice truly existed remains shrouded in mystery. What exactly is the Three Kingdoms to this man, a question that intrigued countless people. He’d planted this massive narrative foreshadowing over 476 episodes. Was it finally reaping results, or had long-established character traits simply collapsed from convenience? Both possibilities remain hidden. Either way, the mask the Undertaker cherished—his anonymous guise—shattered like glass this very moment. 'No, no. This can't be! I even conspired with Universal Play to ensure Dok-seo would never find out!' The Undertaker was a master of imagination. To combat anomalies, it was necessary to squeeze the boundaries of imagination dry. Yet even he couldn't have imagined this: An unearthed bad ending he'd long forgotten, where Yu Ji-won had cut down Go Yo-il, increasing their fate level to 15. Witnessing this, Cheon Yo-hwa, though crushed with inferiority, didn't despair but encapsulated her romantic feelings, despair, and hope in a time capsule marked only as SU—Stanford University. And here they were, where, just fifteen minutes prior to his arrival, the time capsule had been unearthed, Pandora's box opening and drenching allies in bad ending's 'despair,' including the so-often-confident Literary Girl's elusive bad ending, triggered by 'the unveiling of the Undertaker's masquerade.' And now, infected with despair, Oh Dok-seo came to the realization that the mysterious fan had been the Undertaker all along. Truly, even in his wildest dreams, he couldn't have foreseen this...! "Sir, I’ve... actually…" "Uh, uh-huh?" "I’ve, for a long time now, had these feelings—" Thud! A human was sent flying. Swoosh. At least, if there existed a biologist generous enough to classify Oh Dok-seo as a subspecies of human. Witnessing the unexpected spectacle of a person soar through the air like a straw, the Undertaker was taken aback. "I apologize." The culprit was even more astonishing. The one who sent Oh Dok-seo flying—it was Yu Ji-won. Although Yu Ji-won's power as an Outer God had diminished over time, she had always been physically preparing for an apocalypse. Unlike a writer bound to his computer, afflicted with scoliosis, her physical strength was of a different caliber. If she wished, Oh Dok-seo could be treated like a mere baseball. It was the 'if she wished' part that was the shocking revelation. Yu Ji-won was well-known for her diplomacy, avoiding conflict with others. So why did she suddenly use Oh Dok-seo for home run practice? "I don't mind if Matiz shares love with anyone." "What?" "Whether it's Jeong Ye-ji, the esteemed Cheon Yo-hwa, Lee Ha-yul, Noh Do-hwa, Dang Seo-rin, or Sim Ah-ryeon... Even if he starts a family with all of them, I have no particular feelings about it." "What??" "But Dok-seo is a different story." Yu Ji-won maintained a blank expression. "I genuinely believe that Matiz should be with a human, as humans should be with humans." "What are you talking about, Ji-won?" "I'm advising you to avoid tragedy." Yu Ji-won took the Undertaker's hand, and, just like her reader counterpart, he was startled. "Ji-Ji-won?" His voice quivered. While Yu Ji-won's occasional physical contact was common, due to her inability to see faces, she often used touch for recognition. However, this—in public? If it were during the days of middle school unfamiliarity with perfume distinctions, maybe, but now? Why? "Ji-won, I'm sorry, but I'm extremely, very, incredibly confused right now. Can you give me a logical explanation of what's happening?" "It's a very simple matter." Yu Ji-won nodded. "Please tell me you love me." "???" "I already know that Matiz deeply cares for me, willing to risk his life beyond mere lust to genuinely care for me as a person. What you need now is to simply reaffirm this obvious fact. Please." "Ji-won, are you drunk?" "Do you not love me?" "No, no, no. That's, of course――." Thud! A human was sent flying. Swoosh. If there were a generous Confucian scholar willing to classify a natural-born emotionless killer, who’d abandoned parents to die, as human. "Teacher!" "Senior! Run!" The culprits were the Cheon Yo-hwa sisters. If Yu Ji-won had trained her body since middle school, these two had raised their physical stats from birth. Together, they could easily send Yu Ji-won flying. It was an extremely rare scene, and the Undertaker's mental state was equally fragile from witnessing it. "Why are you telling me to run――." "A strange phenomenon is happening!" "What?" "Think of it as a kind of Valentine's Day anomaly! These people aren’t acting normally! Senior!" "They're all trying to confess their feelings to you! Remember the Savior anomaly we dealt with? It’s similar!" "If you accept their confessions, the Valentine's anomaly will solidify, turning the world into an everlasting love-filled chocolate mess!" The Undertaker's wandering mind discovered that even as a ghost, it was possible to think. 'A Valentine's anomaly? But it's not even February? And what’s this love-filled chocolate nonsense?' Grab. Grab. Both his hands were held by Cheon Yo-hwa. It wasn't just a hold. The Cheon Yo-hwa sisters, like seasoned ballet dancers, ran in perfect synchronization, pulling the Undertaker along. "So!" "Right now, you have to trust us—the only ones unaffected by the Valentine's anomaly! Senior!" "We'll get the clergy to block them. Meanwhile, we'll take refuge in the hotel and devise a plan to defeat the anomaly—" That's when it happened. "Guild Maaaaster! T-these people have regained their old memories!!" An explosive shout echoed. Everyone paused, frozen in their tracks. All eyes turned towards the source. There stood the green-haired former Saintess, Sim Ah-ryeon. A figure so perplexing, no biologist, Confucian scholar, sociologist, lawyer, or mathematician would confidently declare her 'human'—a challenge to humanity and civilization itself. Proudly, she continued her bold declaration. "Uh... Ah-ryeon? Memories, you say...?" "No, you mustn’t, senior!" "Teacher! Don't pay attention! It's an anomaly, you'll be hypnotized!" The Cheon Yo-hwa sisters hurriedly covered the Undertaker's left and right ears. But did you know? Human hearing is surprisingly well developed. Such flimsy barriers can't block the plainly declared 'enemy of humanity's' overpowering shout. "Bad endings! T-the endings that not even the Guild Master remembers! They were all forgotten under Udumbara's curse, but the memories were in this box!" Indeed, Sim Ah-ryeon excelled at concise summaries, consistent with her reputation as a popular writer, even overshadowing the literary girl on SGNet. "What the hell have you...?" "Stop her! Stop those peasants!" Upon the Cheon Yo-hwa sisters' command, the nearby clergy rushed forward, but Sim Ah-ryeon deftly dodged them. It wasn’t because her agility had reached its peak. Ranked by physical ability among allies, she’d be in a bottom race with Oh Dok-seo, but of course not. Her clothes and body were simply slick with oil, so no matter how hard they tried to catch her, she slipped right through like a fish. "N-no way...!" "Gross! So gross!" Amidst the surrounding shock, Sim Ah-ryeon continued shouting. "But in those bad endings, I got with the Guild Master in every one! So now they all think she belongs to him!" "Aaaah!" Cheon Yo-hwa screamed. "Are, are you insane? You? Truly mad?! We just promised to keep our secrets 10 minutes ago! How can you break a promise in just 10 minutes, no matter how lacking in conscience?!" "Huh? I didn’t break the promise." "What?" "You all agreed to it." ◇ If in a situation where the ‘secret’ is not disclosed, Go Yo-il falls in love with someone, everyone will readily accept it. "So, so... if the secret is revealed..." Sim Ah-ryeon spoke up. "That would mean there's no need to readily accept it, right?" "..." Indeed. Sim Ah-ryeon conducted her thought experiment with utmost honesty. Seeing the Cheon Yo-hwa sisters trying to kidnap the Undertaker was troubling, and she judged that their physical odds were dwindling. Thus... ‘If the Guildmaster accepts the Cheon Yo-hwa sisters' confession now, wouldn't it mean we don’t have to comply later if I spill the secret now?’ She arrived at this miraculous conclusion. "Crazy." Cheon Yo-hwa groaned. She had known Sim Ah-ryeon wasn’t quite human, but she hadn’t anticipated this level. Yes. From the start, Sim Ah-ryeon had absolutely no intention—truly, not even a speck—of accepting her loss. There was a limit to breaking clichés. In a typical romantic comedy uproar, any gentleman agreements among the involved parties were strictly adhered to. They'd usually go through scenes like "Even if we end up with someone else, we'll understand, right?" "Yeah, aside from love, we’re friends after all!" No matter how painful the hurt of unrequited love, even though it’s tough to truly let go, they'd recall their past gentleman's agreement and reluctantly, but nobly, let go of their feelings... a kind of... A truly beautiful tradition and culture (albeit one that could cause grief among the losing side's supporters) long existed in romantic comedies. But Sim Ah-ryeon couldn’t care less about that. For a world still grappling with accepting the existence of Sim Ah-ryeon, its traditions, cultures, and romantic comedies were rather immature. Gentleman's agreements could go hang. If things seemed unfavorable, she’d abandon them faster than an ancestor fleeing Hanyang. The result was record-breaking: a 15-minute-old agreement shattered, setting a new Guinness record mark in the annals of romantic comedy. The Cheon Yo-hwa sisters gnashed their teeth. "You vile!" "If we'd known it would come to this, we should have just kidnapped the Teacher from the start, even if it meant losing Ye-ji..." 'What is this.' The Undertaker was utterly horrified!