Infinite Regressor, Chapter 481 - I’m an Infinite Regressor, But I’ve Got Stories to Tell

Suddenly, memories beyond human capacity surged in like a tidal wave, and Undertaker's head exploded――. Nothing like that happened. In this day and age, an explosive ending indeed would have been the worst possible. “Aaaaaagh!” However, while not the absolute worst, Undertaker currently found himself experiencing an agonizing near-worst. “Gaaaaah! Aaaaaagh!” “M-Mister! Are you okay?! Why are you screaming like someone who’s having an awl stabbed between their bones while it's scratching the nerves between their joints?!” “Sim….” “Sim?” “Sim Ah-ryeooon…!” He streamed a liquid akin to tears of blood, minus the blood itself. Incidentally, the missing blood seemed to be spewing from his mouth instead. “To Ah-ryeon! I said! I love you!” “…….” “The memories of whispering that I love her! The memories of us fleeing to protect our loveeee! Gaaahhh! Aaaaaagh!” Watching him writhing on the floor, Cheon Yo-hwa was impressed. Impressed at whom? None other than herself. A foolishness capable of withering a love of a thousand years. Despite witnessing such desperate, insect-like thrashing up close, the sentiment that arose in her heart was simply... 'Cute.' Perhaps it was just a matter of arithmetic. A thousand years? Her love regenerated over tens of thousands of years with ease. Smiling brightly, she squatted down, resting her elbows on her knees, propping her chin with her hands, gazing at him like a sunflower, she said, “Wow! Sim Ah-ryeon's boyfriend!” “Aaaagh!” “Account owner of Villain Old Man Goryeo!” “Nghaaagh!” “Eh, in other words...! Wow, look, [Sim Ah-ryeon's husband walking]... That's what it sounds like...!?” “Wha! Whaaat! Waaaaaaah...!” “A foolish man, yet still loved…….” “…….” “Mister, um.” The mood rapidly darkened. Cheon Yo-hwa, decided it was time to lay it all out, even intending to confess. One might wonder about the appropriateness of proposing amid such absurd chaos, but her instincts guided her otherwise. Life is all about timing. As far as she saw, the world around him was like a dating sim. At least, it seemed like such a boundary enveloped Undertaker. Otherwise, how could she have lost to Yu Ji-won? Power? Wealth? She overwhelmingly dominated those realms. Yet, despite this, the poor victim of domestic abuse, a teenage serial killer, ended the duel with just one innocent click, saying, "Did you meet Mr. Matiz before me?" This served as proof that in this world, victory was determined by how early one forged a bond with Undertaker. Cheon Yo-hwa had no intention of ignoring such a life lesson. Especially when the revelation taught by her previous life, even destroying the universe, was nearly impossible to overlook. 'Right now, he... just received the memories of bad endings, so it's as if his personality has been updated.' 'In other words, the affinity we've built so far is less important than the affinity we will build from now on!' This was the grand conspiracy devised by the genius tactician Cheon Yo-hwa from her previous life. She was late. Thus, she sought to ‘forcibly’ bring everyone back to the same starting line! Here, it was crucial that the authority to manipulate Pandora's box was in her possession. For Undertaker to retrieve his memories, he 'must' be near the owner of the time capsule, Cheon Yo-hwa. Just like now! Ah, it's farewell to the days of merely laughing off like a cheetah――. Cheon Yo-hwa finally showed the smile of a racing dog. With no one around, who could dare stop her from confessing and, while at it, accelerating the momentum of advancing things further? Well, there were quite a few likely to intervene. But this time, it was their turn to taste the humiliation of the cheetah. “I’ve always, since a long time ago, been...” And so, she attempted to unleash the imperial-level killer spell, 'I loved you.' But the ambitious incantation failed midway. The reason was simple. The opponent had suddenly extended his palm, covering her lips with it. “……?” Cheon Yo-hwa blinked. She could accurately empathize with the feeling of a combining robot or magical girl being interrupted in transformations. It left her baffled. “Yo-hwa.” More bewildering was his following action. “I know what you’re trying to say.” “…….” “The memories I just recalled. They might be reality, or they could be simulations created by illusions.” “…….” “Either way, it feels too early for me to accept your feelings as I am now.” It felt as if Cheon Yo-hwa’s heart plummeted. ‘No, no way.’ Truthfully, she had only consciously spun it in a happy circuit all this time. Technically speaking, even if she escaped the cheetah's position, it didn’t guarantee victory. Another possibility was present. ‘Am I getting rejected?’ Yes. Even by inheriting all the bad endings, Undertaker might choose someone else over her. That was indeed a possibility. ‘No, no!’ ‘After everything I’ve done, sacrificing everything to battle my way here!’ Her pupils quivered uncontrollably. She wanted to scream, but her mouth was blocked by his palm, leaving her voiceless. “To just tell you to wait is reckless and inconsiderate, shooting off without thought. You’re smart, Yo-hwa. You have a habit of always considering the worst possibilities.” “…….” “So that you won’t doubt my words.” Undertaker's face inched closer. Naturally, his lips followed suit. The lips drew nearer, and then even nearer, until a shallow sound was made as they met something. His own hand that blocked her mouth. ‘Ah.’ She didn’t feel the contact of lips. Only the vibration conveyed through his hand transmitting the kiss. “…….” Unwittingly, Cheon Yo-hwa closed her eyes. Among the 'bad endings' that the time capsule had preserved for him, there was also a route where he had ended up with Cheon Yo-hwa. Naturally, countless kisses had been exchanged in those memories. Those memories fumbled around, feeling for the lips hidden behind the palm of his hand. If she dared to glance up slightly, she could feel his breath right in front of her. As the delicate, brief if short-lived and eternal if endless, hand-kiss concluded, he pulled away. “I’m sorry. Even though we came on this trip together, this teacher needs some time alone in the room to sort through these memories. Is that alright with you?” “……Yes.” Cheon Yo-hwa replied. Of course, to truly reflect the truth, that sentence demanded revision. Cheon Yo-hwa hadn’t so much “answered” with agency or initiative; the response had simply flowed out automatically. And as she was speaking, she gazed up at Undertaker, half in a daze, like someone who had melted into a blissful warmth from lingering too long in a warm bath, mouth slightly agape. “Well... I’m actually really good at waiting, you know.” Have you ever felt your own tongue scorching hot inside your mouth? That was exactly how Cheon Yo-hwa felt. Seeing her expression, Undertaker gave a soft smile. “Though not fully organized, everything you packed into the time capsule to show me are precious memories and mementos to me.” “Oh….” “All those things we couldn’t manage to gather or retrieve, you gathered and brought them back. Thank you so much, Yo-hwa.” “No…. It was just my own ambition.” “Even when it comes to benefiting someone with good intentions, that’s a hard thing to do, yet you’ve helped me out of your own ambition. Meeting you has been a blessing in my life.” “…….” Cheon Yo-hwa blushed fiercely. For once, her brain’s ever-active gears seemed to be on a strike. They exchanged a few more words, but she couldn’t quite recall them afterward. Only long after he had departed from the room did Cheon Yo-hwa feel as if her internal cooling fan finally started whirring to life again. Staring endlessly at the ceiling, she suddenly murmured at the realization: ‘……What monster did I end up awakening?’ That monster. It harbored experiences of living alongside twisted, contorted souls like Yu Ji-won, Jeong Ye-ji, Sim Ah-ryeon, Oh Dok-seo, Noh Do-hwa, and others, until death took them. The entrance of the most fearsome ‘experienced newcomer’ was upon them. 10. “Ah, ahh! Guildmaster!" A chance encounter in the hotel corridor. “I just got out of the shower! And I thought I heard someone calling out somewhere not too long ago. Was that you, Guildmaster? In my room… huh?” “I’m glad you’re alive. Ah-ryeon.” “Huh?” A hug. “Let’s get a puppy when we return from this trip, shall we?” “Huh….” A pat on her head. “Were you hurt?” “No! Not hurt at all!” “I’m sorry.” “Hahehehe…. N-no, it’s actually good. Now I’ve experienced what it feels like to truly face death, right? There was even someone cutting off their ears to experience something similar. Being choked by you, Guildmaster, actually felt pretty nice, you know….” “You’ll get along well with Do-hwa, it seems.” “Huh? B-but isn't Noh Do-hwa the one who tightens things rather than chokes?” “To observe the abyss, you must also permit the abyss to observe you. That’s the balance of this world.” “Whoa…! I suddenly feel a surge of inspiration! I could write a dubious short story about a character eerily similar to Noh Do-hwa, named Ye Do-hwa, for SG-net… ah. It’s gone now.” “Sometimes, I wonder if Do-hwa was the most lenient ruler in human history, allowing the broadest freedom of expression.” Lively chatter. “By the way, this Guildmaster plans to stay cooped up in the room for a few days to sort things out in my head. Will you be patient with that?” “Sure! I’ll wait!” Undertaker had effortlessly crossed the reinforced barrier named ‘Sim Ah-ryeon,’ who had ‘just taken a bath’ ‘dressed in a swimsuit’. He sat alone on the floor of the guest room. His poised sitting posture, cross-legged, exuded the aura of a master entering closed-door meditation! “Obsession.” He occasionally muttered to himself. With no observers, it was to keep himself calm and entirely focused on the inner contemplation. “What is obsession?” Current within him was a confluence of countless subconscious streams twining together. If examined solely by memories―. He had just shared a lifelong proposal with Noh Do-hwa, wearing a wedding dress. He had just strangled Sim Ah-ryeon to death, who was on the brink of annihilation by Go Yuri. He had just been murdered by Go Yuri, abandoned when a Saintess who’d promised to buy ice cream with time stopped never returned. Just now, just now, just now, just now……. ‘Among these, what defines me?’ Memories intermingled in disarray. If likened to a stream, his mind closely resembled a turbid mire. ‘I am all these things.’ If someone possessed a stat window ability to view Undertaker’s mind now, they would be astounded. [Affinity-Noh Do-hwa: MAX], [Affinity-Sim Ah-ryeon: MAX], [Affinity-Jeong Ye-ji: MAX], [Affinity-Oh Dok-seo: MAX], etc., sentiments had crossed the peak for all members involved. Usually, such an occurrence was impossible. No matter the proclamations of equal love across all, how could one’s heart not sway with time and circumstance? Nonetheless, the peculiar event transpired. Undertaker was a romanticist of unparalleled passion. Whenever he loved, he did so with unfaltering sincerity, dedicating himself entirely to whoever stood before him, even amid innumerable bad endings! When all the separate bad endings were woven together… the result was a love for each main character reaching a sublime pinnacle! “What is obsession?” He reversed the direction of the inner question, opting to swim amidst the muddy floodwaters. In doing so. “When will I become obsessed?” He began to imagine. Imagination and memory were intrinsically alike. Thus, Undertaker excelled in imagination as he did in memory, and his envisioning nearly rivaled reality in its vividness. ‘If. If, for instance, Ye-ji dated someone other than me?’ To be so obsessed with memories that it felt like... just a day ago. Would hearing the news of someone else dating really have cast Undertaker's heart into darkness? Not at all. He would have felt nothing but joy, wholeheartedly supporting and blessing a colleague he cherished finding a worthy partner. But now? “…….” After absorbing all those memories where they delighted in time stopped, embarrassed but overjoyed, struggled to prepare snacks for the first time in his life, and shared intimate moments on the beach together? ‘Unacceptable….’ Now he was Undertaker. ‘I can’t... I don’t think I can accept that.’ Something squirmed within his heart. ‘Being excluded from Ye-ji’s life?’ ‘Not being able to meet whenever I want, but only occasionally, if at all?’ ‘Not knowing what kind of food Ye-ji likes, what movies she enjoys, or where she wants to travel anymore?’ It stirred more violently within him. ‘No.’ A resounding and overwhelming darkness! ‘I refuse. I’d rather die. Seriously. I would rather die.’ ‘She is necessary to my life just as much as I am to hers. Is there any room for doubt in that?’ ‘Even if doubt arises, the mouth that utters it won’t be mine nor Ye-ji's. What does it matter then?’ The darkness raged wildly in his heart. ‘It doesn’t matter. Whatever exists, I will erase it.’ ‘Even the end of the world can’t stand above the importance of Ye-ji alone.’ The Saintess wasn't the only person held dear. Undertaker, sitting cross-legged, devoted himself to imagining a scenario where the members with whom he shared love during bad endings promised themselves to someone else eternally. If this solitary contemplative method needed a name, it could be called ‘Distributive Mind Method (心法)’, or perhaps ‘NTR Mind Method’. Immersing in the distributive mind method allowed him to imagine each member’s particular case in turn. ‘No, that won’t do.’ ‘Absolutely not.’ ‘No matter what!’ ‘It can’t be tolerated.’ Only then did Undertaker finally confront the darkness residing within him. “……I see.” He opened his eyes after a full day and night, muttering to himself. “It seems Seo Gyu was right. Love comes hand in hand with obsession. I, too, acted as if I were divinely detached, yet didn’t realize such intense obsession lay within me.” A realization so misinterpreted that, should Seo Gyu hear it, he might exclaim, ‘Me?’ in disbelief, even from across the Pacific. But alas, Seo Gyu wasn’t anywhere near the United States. The masterminds executed plans loftily but were bound to fail at the end. “I can never give up……!” Undertaker stood. Typically, in a one-to-many (1:多) relationship, it was usual for the many (多) to cling to the one (1). Otherwise, one-to-many relationships simply wouldn't form. Yet perhaps, for the first time in history, a miracle unfolded here. “Not a single one!” Obsession’s grand reversal and reciprocal passion. In an equation of ‘1:多’, even the 1 harbors the same level of obsession towards the 多, each and every individual… creating the very definition of madness! Responsibility for bringing this monster into existence might be laid on Oh Dok-seo, Infinite Metagame, Cheon Yo-hwa (the elder sister), or Go Yuri, but it mattered little. For they'd likely respond with, "We didn’t anticipate this..." endlessly. Oh, what lamentable grief. Characters who zealously obsess over love have often been dubbed ‘obsessive men’. But branding the creature born here today merely as an obsessive man would dishonor obsessive men across every dimension. Therefore. ‘I’ll live for all of you now.’ Not an obsessive madman but ‘just a truly obsessed man’. And so he set forth.