35 Me - My Little Sister Is Only Ever Cold to Me, Yet Recently She’s Been Strangely Clingy

Chapter 35: Me After finishing my housework, taking a bath, drying my hair, washing my face, and moisturizing, all that's left is to go to bed. On Friday nights like these, I'm always enveloped in a sense of accomplishment and relief from having made it through the week. Tomorrow is the day I get to watch Ren's basketball game. I'm really looking forward to it, and I'm thrilled she invited me. But I'm just as nervous. I feel restless, unable to calm down. It seems like I might have trouble falling asleep tonight. The game itself doesn't start until the afternoon, so it's not a problem if I don't sleep right away. Unlike me, however, Ren has to be at the venue from the morning in order to participate in the opening ceremony. Since we can't go to the venue together, I double-check the start time and location that Ren told me. It's at the city sports gymnasium's Court A at two in the afternoon. I conveyed this to Yuka-chan as well, butI have to make sure I don't get it wrong. Actually, Ren hasn't come over to my room today, which is unusual. I wonder if she went to bed early since she has to wake up early tomorrow. I understand that she might want to spend the night before the match alone, but an inexplicable loneliness creeps up on me. Not so long ago, it was rare for us to even to exchange words, let alone sleep together. Yet before I knew it, a new normal was established where having Ren by my side was just expected. I felt both happy and a little frightened by it. When the day comes that Ren leaves me, will I be able to see her off with a smile? Will I be able to properly let go as her older sister? For instance, what if Ren finds a partner and decides to live with them? A haze of uncertainty clouds my heart. Hastily, I shake it away. I seem to be overly nervous, even though Ren is the one who has to play in the match. I try my best to regain my cheerfulness. Since Ren was kind enough to invite me, I have to cheer her on with my whole heart. While giving myself this pep talk, a knock sounds at the door. Desperately suppressing the anticipation that was rising inside me, I walk over to the door. When I pull the doorknob, standing in front of me, as I expected, is Ren. “As always, let’s sleep together.” Ren states this, as if it's the most natural thing in the world, stepping into my room. The two of us sit on the bed, effortlessly familiar with each other's presence, and Ren leans her body into mine. Her warmth faintly touches me. Not satisfied with just that, she tilts further, resting her head on my lap—a position known as a lap pillow. I can see her long legs stretching to the edge of the bed. Ren's silky hair spreads across my lap. She rubs her cheek against my thigh and closes her eyes contentedly. The gesture, much like a kitten, brings a soft smile to my face and fills my heart with contentment. Lately, I've found myself feeling a sense of security when Ren relies on me. But it isn’t the same as the protective instinct of an older sister — it comes from somewhere else entirely. As if to look away from the danger in that feeling, I gently stroke her head, trying to smother it beneath the act of being an older sister. Then, I overwrite it with words. “You're being even more clingy today.” “Not really.” “Tomorrow's your game, after all. Are you too nervous to sleep?” “I'm not nervous. It's just...” Ren continued speaking in the same flat tone as always, with her face buried in my lap and her eyes closed. “I thought I wouldn't be able to sleep if I’m with Onee-chan, so I planned to sleep alone. But because I wasn’t with Onee-chan, I couldn’t sleep.” Her words come forth like an enigmatic riddle. Her cheek against my lap, her breaths, her words—all seem to radiate warmth, a warmth that seems poised to transfer to me. Hastily, I intercept it with words. “Wh-what do you mean?” When I question her, Ren pauses. Then abruptly, she sits up and cups my cheek with her hand. Ren’s sudden beauty strikes me fiercely. “What do you think it means?” Her presence is overwhelming. Even her action resembling a heroine in a shoujo manga seems natural, and everything about her is so strikingly beautiful that even my own heartbeat starts to sound like something from a shoujo manga. And the fact that the person making me feel this way… is my own little sister — it’s enough to make me lose my mind. No, maybe I already have, if I’m burning up this much inside. Ren’s eyes catch mine and won’t let go; I feel like I’m being pulled in. My reason is telling me to run away. Somehow, I manage to squeeze out a reply. “I don’t know.” Not content with my answer, Ren continues to gaze into my eyes. Her intensity seems to consume all my senses besides my sight. Her scent, her touch—compelling me to reach out for more of Ren. But just before that desire takes form, Ren pulls away from me. “I see, that’s true.” Her departing words carry a hint of loneliness, prompting me to instinctively reach out. It's then that I realize Ren’s gaze, fixed on me, still holds a fervent heat. That intensely beautiful gaze meets mine and delivers a message. “Look at me tomorrow, okay? Look only at me.”