397 Shiori Miyagi - Story About Buying My Classmate Once A Week

Shiori Miyagi Episode 397 "...I don't want to." When I asked if I could choose everything—the clothes she'd wear to university and everything else—the response I got back was a blunt refusal, and I tightened my grip on the hand connected to Miyagi's. "I thought you'd say that." I'd anticipated that Miyagi would say "I don't want to." I think this side of Miyagi is adorable. Whether she was trying on skirts looking annoyed, or eating a croque monsieur looking delighted, she was equally cute, and I wanted to hug her. "That's not what we talked about. You said to tell you about things I like and dislike." "I properly answered that I like having Miyagi wear the clothes I choose." "What else?" When she said that, Miyagi tried to escape by pulling on our connected hands, so I pressed my shoulder against hers. Hand and hand. Shoulder and shoulder. The points of connection increased, and my heart gave a loud thump. "Let's see... I might not have anything I can say right now." "You don't have to force it. Tell me when you find something." "I'll tell you, so you tell me too, Miyagi." "Tell you what?" "Why don't you want me to choose all your clothes?" "It's not that I don't want to... having you choose everything would be impossible." Miyagi muttered under her breath and dropped her gaze to the floor. "Why?" "If that happened, I wouldn't be able to wear anything when you're not around, Sendai-san." "Naked Miyagi might be nice too." "Are you stupid?" "If that happened, you wouldn't go anywhere and you'd wait here wearing nothing, right, Miyagi?" "You're a pervert, Sendai-san. That's not what we're talking about. Besides, the one who should be in this room wearing nothing is you, Sendai-san. You like taking your clothes off." "If I could always be with Miyagi, that would be fine too." "Sendai-san, you always say weird things like that right away. Don't say things that can't happen." Her small voice pushed back against mine. At times like this, Miyagi is practical and doesn't dream. She only sees what can be realized in this world. "...Miyagi, don't you want to always be with me?" My desires spilled out toward Miyagi, who wouldn't stray from reality. "That's impossible." "If it wasn't impossible, you'd be with me?" I spoke in a tone neither strong nor weak, and looked at Miyagi. But her eyes didn't reflect me, and there was no reply. I pulled on our joined hands, turning Miyagi's gaze toward me. She didn't open her mouth. So I opened mine. "I'll always be by your side, Miyagi." I leaned my shoulder in, pressing against Miyagi. "You're full of lies." I heard a voice that could have been genuine or a lie, and replied "It's not a lie." I belong only to Miyagi. There's no way such a me wouldn't be at Miyagi's side. At the same time, the me who wants to say that Miyagi belongs only to me raises her head, and I find myself wishing she would say something like "I'll always be by your side, Sendai-san." I should have been satisfied with just belonging only to Miyagi, but I can't be satisfied with just that anymore.  "...That's impossible." Miyagi, who doesn't believe me, muttered, and I immediately denied it. "It's not impossible." "You have university and part-time work, don't you? Can you ignore all that and always be by my side?" In the not-so-distant past, Miyagi had said something similar to me. The me who couldn't answer immediately back then can't answer immediately today either. Miyagi's words aren't wrong. But they're right and wrong at the same time. I think living means coexisting with the impossible. Even if I declare we'll always be together, it's impossible to stick perfectly together twenty-four hours a day. If people are going to live as people, they have to go to school or work, and even if it's the same school or workplace, there will absolutely be moments when we're apart. So I can't be at "Miyagi's side" "always." Everyone knows that such a thing is impossible. So people have no choice but to acknowledge that what can't be done can't be done, and live by overlapping it with what can be done. "Even when I can't be beside you, I'll be by your side, Miyagi." Even when my body can't be beside her, my feelings can be by her side. "Enough with that. The room-share ends when we graduate university anyway." Miyagi spoke in a flat voice and pushed my shoulder. The distance that had been zero became the distance of one platypus tissue cover, and a rift formed between us. The "being beside you" I spoke of doesn't mean being perfectly beside her without separation for twenty-four hours. It means maximizing the time when we can do that and making it happen. It also means filling the time when we can't be beside each other with feelings. Miyagi should understand that too, yet she tries to veer off to the side. "Miyagi, you said you'd always celebrate my birthday. Was that a lie?" "It's not a lie. You said we could celebrate birthdays even without the room-share, Sendai-san." Miyagi tries to escape from my words like a frightened stray cat. I've seen her retreating back many times before, but today I don't want to see it. So the me who wants to make every version of Miyagi mine alone voices words to capture her. "We can celebrate birthdays even without the room-share, but let's continue the room-share and celebrate. Miyagi, celebrate my birthday by my side forever. I'll celebrate your birthday by your side forever." "Why? That's different from our promise. The room-share is only until university graduation, right?" "That's true. But we can also make a new promise." Inside Miyagi lurks feelings she won't show me, and they're carefully tucked away. I don't intend to expose them, but I want to grasp a fragment of them, know Miyagi better, and have her become my Miyagi alone. But if I want to touch even slightly the secrets that are cautiously stored away, I have to offer up what I've similarly buried deep within myself. "Miyagi, listen to what I'm about to say without running away. I'll say this many times from now on, but this is the first time I'm saying it to you." "...I don't want to." Leaving behind a small voice, Miyagi pulled away from me. The space between us became enough for about three platypuses, and I gripped her hand tightly. "Sendai-san, let go." Without looking at me, Miyagi spoke, and I touched her ear. I stroked the plumeria earring and quietly said "Listen," then took a breath. Then exhaled. And inhaled again. My eyes met Miyagi's, and I conveyed what needed to be conveyed. "Sendai Hazuki loves Miyagi Shiori. I don't need anything else." Miyagi looked at me as if she'd forgotten how to breathe. She just kept looking, her expression unchanged. "Miyagi. I've always wanted to tell you what I like. The thing I've liked has been you all along, Miyagi. That's why I want to always be by your side, and I've decided to always celebrate your birthday by your side. Even when I can't be beside you, I want to be beside you, and I want to always be together. I like you that much, Miyagi, and I want you to like me just as much. And I want you to live with me forever." I released all at once what had been inside my heart, locked away for a long time without letting it out, and touched Miyagi's cheek. She didn't move. Forgetting even to blink, she looked at me. If I hadn't said it, we could have continued our lukewarm relationship with everything left ambiguous. I could have remained "the person living in Miyagi's precious things." But that alone was no longer enough for me. Even if the lukewarm water turned to ice water, I found myself wanting to make Miyagi mine alone. Do I regret it—? I don't know if I do or don't. The sound of my heartbeat is loud. My throat is parched and aching. The silence weighs down on my shoulders. I want her to say something, and I don't want her to. Miyagi blinked. Her lips parted, and a hoarse voice came out. "That's—" My body moved reflexively. I stole Miyagi's words with my lips. I swallowed the continuation of her interrupted words and pulled my lips away. "Don't answer now. If you do, you'll definitely say that's impossible, and that you don't like me. So you don't have to answer now. Just put it on hold." I said it all in one breath, then inhaled. My throat was still parched, painful enough that I had the illusion it had been scorched. "...How long is 'on hold'?" Along with a toneless voice, Miyagi's hand escaped from mine. "Until university graduation. When that day comes, you confess to me, Miyagi." "Why have you decided that I'm the one confessing?" Miyagi spoke in a voice neither low nor high, looking at me with displeasure. "Because I've decided to make you say you like me on graduation day." "...What if I don't say it?" "So that doesn't happen, I'll tell you I like you over and over from now on. Even if you say you don't want me to, I'll say it." "You don't have to say it." Miyagi said curtly and moved away from me. So I moved closer by more than the distance she'd put between us. "Hey, Miyagi. Today, tomorrow, the day after—I'll always love you." I whispered softly in her ear and kissed her displeased lips.