122 - Dungeon Growth Log

Xia Ge went straight to the clothing shop, knowing without a doubt that this was where Ye Ze had gone missing. However, the place was deserted, the doors shut tight. She glanced up to see that the grim white fangs had vanished from the shop's dark wooden pillars too. "...Huh?" Under the watchful eyes of passersby, Xia Ge kicked open the door and stepped inside, only to find the shop empty. The dungeon that once held captives was now devoid of life. A little beggar who recognized her hurriedly tugged her away. "Why are you kicking the door? They'll call the local keepers on you…" The Keepers were akin to governmental entities, composed of cultivators maintaining peace in the town. Xia Ge asked, "What happened to the people here?" "They closed up shop a few days ago." Having stayed at the ruined temple for a few months, Xia Ge was familiar enough with the little beggar, who laughed as he spoke. Closed up? Her trail suddenly went cold. Xia Ge continued, "Do you know where they went?" The little beggar shook his head: "How would I know?" "…Thanks." Watching the little beggar’s retreating figure, Xia Ge felt a headache coming on. Ye Ze was undoubtedly taken away. His identity must have been discovered by the people at the Ghost Camp. This was no good. But the Old Beggar seemed to know quite a lot about the Ghost Camp. Asking him might yield some useful clues. Xia Ge turned to leave, heading quickly towards the outskirts of the town. As she rounded onto a main road, she noticed several people walking swiftly towards her, then past her, their expressions tinged with unease and dread. Frowning, Xia Ge continued on and walked past a narrow dead-end alley without paying any attention, until a few steps later, she heard lewd laughter from within: "She's a real beauty..." "Haha, she'll fetch quite a bit at the Verdant Dream Pavilion..." "Let me have a feel first..." "Why blindfold her? Let me take it off and see..." "…" Xia Ge's instincts screamed something was wrong, and she halted. Recalling the wary expressions of the passersby just moments ago... I see. She thought of the missing Ye Ze and told herself not to interfere, already burdened enough with him. She had no spare energy to care about the fates of others— Leave it alone, Xia Ge. = = Grey, overcast skies. She couldn't perceive them. Her world was an endless abyss of silence and darkness. Even when the blindfold was removed and her eyelids lifted, there was no explosion of color, only a consuming blackness, obscuring all paths and light. The stench of men permeated the air. "Haha, this little one has tender skin..." "...Let me touch her." Someone's footsteps paused, then hurriedly moved on. Indifferent, detached. This world is so harsh. Who would save her? Probably no one. They drew nearer, ever closer. Faint footsteps outside the alley. Two more people sauntered past. And another... No one stopped. No one would stop. Dirty hands stroked her cheeks. Hot, revolting. Curiously, even though the white blindfold was gone, her open eyes could see nothing but darkness. The beautiful girl lifted her head; the bloodied cloth fell away, revealing her ash-grey eyes, reminiscent of frosted glass. Lifeless, they seemed as if a layer of dust prevented any light from penetrating. "This child is like wood—" "Heh, wood works fine too..." Chu Yi thought. No one will save her. From beginning to end. The only one who can save herself is herself. She lifted her chin, hiding her hands behind her back, presenting an innocent and gentle facade. Yes... everyone loves it that way. They all adore bright smiles from well-behaved children. And she loved being like that too. How wonderful it would be if she always were. The man's desire intensified at her display of innocence, and in his eagerness, he said to his companion, "You wait, I'll go first—" ...She had always been obedient. Why, even when she tried so hard to be good... Did so many people want to hurt her? The sinful hand crept down to her clothing, the man in front attempting to tear her garments while the other watched. Heavy breathing. ——Why hasn't anyone come to save her yet? She really, really wanted to be such a good, good child. Truly. = = Saying leave it alone, leave it alone.... Xia Ge indeed adhered to her own advice, but after walking a few steps, the lack of cries for help from the victim struck her. ——Leave it, Xia Ge! The man who initially spouted vulgar words grunted. The faint scent of blood stealthily spread. Blood?! Before Xia Ge even fully processed it, her instincts had pulled her back to the alley's mouth, at least to call for the Keepers, even though they might not intervene, but... Why was she involving herself in so much trouble! Frustrated! Yet before Xia Ge could finish her internal reprimand, the scene before her strangled all thought in her throat, leaving her speechless— There was fresh blood everywhere. Two men, a blindfolded girl. A sharp, pitch-black dagger. The girl’s pink satin was saturated with blood. One man, head bent and back turned to Xia Ge, had the dagger's black blade protruding from his spine, its blood-drenched tip gleaming in the alley’s darkness, reflecting red. A single deadly strike. The spraying blood stained the girl's clothes; the white bandage fell to the ground. Despite her being covered in blood, those ash-grey eyes, like frosted glass, bore no trace of blood color. Her vacant eyes seemed to gaze at the alley’s entrance, and also at Xia Ge who had arrived too late. Empty. Lifeless. Just like Dou Dou back then, bruised all over and drenched in blood. Those eyes seemed to say. ——Why are you only coming now. Xia Ge felt her heart being gripped by that gaze, squeezed and twisted bit by bit. The other man, with a sharp-featured face, was dumbstruck, never imagining a five-year-old girl could be so deadly. He stammered, “Murder… murder—someone's been killed!” Panicked, he stumbled past Xia Ge, wailing, “Murder!!” Xia Ge casually stretched out a leg, tripping him so hard he bit the dust. Rising with a broken tooth, he clutched his mouth, staring wide-eyed at Xia Ge, who looked at him with a gaze as cold as ice, a faint purple gleam within it. “Shut up and scram!” Intimidated by an instinctual fear, the man jerked and quickly fled in a chaotic retreat. Meanwhile, the girl pulled the black dagger from the man’s chest. Blood spurted out. The girl neither dodged nor flinched; fresh red stains on her pale cheeks and neck. The corpse slowly slid down, the head finally resting on her frail shoulder. The girl faced Xia Ge, her ash-grey eyes, like glass, devoid of light. Stained with fresh blood, her white face and cherry-like lips made it hard to tell if it was the lips or the blood that shone more vividly. An expressionless, numb little face. Drenched in blood. At the dark alley’s mouth, no hint of light. Xia Ge remembered Dou Dou. Different scenes, different ages. Yet always the same, drenched in blood, eyes vacant, faces numb. ——If she’d arrived just a bit sooner. ——If she hadn’t ignored it with such indifference. The silent, dark alley, void of any light. Today, there was no snow. Slowly, the girl lifted her head. Unconcerned with the weight resting on her shoulder, she stood there, black dagger in hand, blood dripping. She murmured, “Mother said there are eight sufferings in life; birth, aging, sickness, death, encountering what one hates, separation from what one loves, not obtaining what one seeks…” The same sweet, shy voice that answered questions before, accompanied by a child's naive yet bewildered innocence. An innocence tinged with blood. Suddenly, Xia Ge felt a chill, penetrating her from the heart, ice-cold. Just like when Dou Dou, drenched in blood, knelt before her, the snow’s timely fall, chillingly white in her eyes. In those times of utter despair. Xia Ge once wished. If only someone could save Dou Dou then. If only someone could save them both. That would have been so good. But... The girl murmured, lightly licking the blood from her lips, as if asking Xia Ge or questioning herself, “So, are you here to save me?” Xia Ge was speechless. With no answer from Xia Ge, the girl didn’t mind, pondering aloud, “If not to save me, then to arrest me?” “…” “Or maybe... just a passerby?” “…Whomever you are, it doesn’t matter.” The girl questioned herself, “No matter why you're here, can you tell me why living is so painful?” Xia Ge remained silent. There was no answer. "Well, it's alright," the girl murmured, casually licking the blood on her lips. It seemed she didn't really expect a response as she softly stated, "...Blood is sweet." She gave a small smile, as if something had clicked for her. "And it’s warm." When hot blood splatters onto you... It doesn’t feel cold anymore. ...So what then? ——For a brief moment. Xia Ge found herself despising the person she’d just been. The detached, indifferent version of herself. An intense, loathing hatred. You never know how much your indifference could plunge someone who had hope into profound despair. What truly chills the heart isn’t adversity. It’s the apathy of others. Just a little bit of help could have changed this outcome. Clearly... Xia Ge stepped forward, moving the corpse off the girl and kicking it aside. The heavy body thudded on the ground, a sound echoing in the heart. Causing it to tremble. Patiently, Xia Ge cleaned the blood off the girl’s face, speaking softly. “You’re mistaken.” “Blood isn’t sweet.” The girl didn’t avoid her touch like before. The black dagger, just pulled from a man's chest, still rested sharply against Xia Ge’s chest. Sharp and perilous. It felt as if she could meet the same fate as the previous man at any moment. Yet Xia Ge wasn’t afraid. She just felt an aching sadness. Profound sadness. The same kind she’d felt three years ago, when Dou Dou had given her a bun despite being covered in blood. “Blood is bitter,” Xia Ge heard herself say. “Not only bitter, but filthy.” The black dagger remained poised against her chest, the girl’s voice calm and devoid of the gentleness and shyness from the other day when she was drawing eyes. Now, like an exposed beast, she showed her little fangs, “It’s sweet.” You're lying. Ignoring the dagger upon her chest, Xia Ge gently brushed aside the girl’s blood-matted hair. She didn’t mind the blade nestling into her clothes or the dangerous point against her chest. Bowing her head, Xia Ge softly kissed the girl’s forehead, cleansing it bit by bit of the bloodstains. Then whispered gently. “I tasted it.” “This blood is very bitter.” The warmth of her lips, soft and tender. The girl’s hand trembled slightly. ...So gentle. No one had ever been so gentle to her. Her mother only called her a wretch, and the maids only obeyed her with fear. No one had ever dared to be so gentle with her. Dared to be gentle. ...A little sweet. It seemed this was sweeter than the blood. ——But she didn’t come to save her, so why be so gentle? “You’re lying to me,” the girl said, her heart stirring with unease though her voice remained calm, the dagger tip pressing a bit further in, “Blood is sweet.” Beyond the alley lay chaos. The man who had fled seemed to be calling for others. If the Keepers arrived, the child would surely face judgment. Killing was against the Keeper’s laws. Because of her momentary indifference. She had taken up the dagger. “It’s because life has been too bitter for you, so you think it’s sweet,” Xia Ge grasped her wrist holding the dagger, trying to keep her voice light and gentle, though it slightly trembled. She said, “...I’ve tasted plenty of really sweet things.” “So to me, the blood is quite bitter.” The girl looked up at her. Much like Dou Dou did back then. Equally lost. And it was unsettling. Do all those who couldn’t see look like this? They stubbornly fixate in one direction, as if they can see, though their bodies tremble from the cruel acts committed, their eyes remain steadfast and kind. Chu Yi’s hand holding the dagger quivered as she listened to the incomprehensible response— “Life isn't bitter.” Xia Ge answered her previous question, “Birth, aging, sickness, death, encountering what one hates, separation from what one loves, the inability to obtain what one desires, they’re just life's normalcy.” ...So sweet. Listening to this slightly trembling voice. It felt a bit sweet. Her hand, so warm too. ——But she wasn’t here to save her. She was just like those passersby. Strangers on different paths, irrelevant to her. “...I don’t believe you.” The girl’s voice was young and tender. Her pink silk clothes had been dyed dark red by the man’s warm blood, and as time passed, that warmth began to fade. A breeze swept the alley, bringing an underlying chill to her heart. Scalding hot blood only gave her a momentary warmth. Followed by a piercing coldness. The dagger in her hand wobbled, about to fall. So cold. Why had it become bitter again? Chaos continued outside the alley. Xia Ge’s gaze deepened. This child, covered in blood, couldn’t stay here any longer. If the Keepers found her... She took off her outer garment and wrapped it around the girl. “Let’s avoid those people, shall we?” Xia Ge softened her voice, steadying the girl’s trembling hand on the dagger that was still pointed at her chest. She repeated softly, “Don’t speak, let’s hide from those people, shall we?” Unlike that man, who was so tall, full of unbearable bitterness, this person was smaller, slightly sweet. Soft, warm hands. Even though she wasn’t here to save her. She didn’t want this person to die. ...If only she was here to save her, that would be wonderful. “...Are you here to save me?” the girl timidly asked again in a soft whisper. The clamoring outside the alley drowned Xia Ge’s low response. “Mm.” The girl didn’t respond, but the dagger in her hand slightly lowered, tamely allowing Xia Ge to pick her up. Like a young beast with half-retracted claws. Carefully probing. Xia Ge held the girl gently, employing her ghostly footwork to scale the low wall of the alley. As she landed, she heard, from the opposite side, a mix of panic and assertive male voices, "That's her, that's the little—" "Where's the person?" Xia Ge wanted to cover the girl’s ears, but had no free hand. This child had heard it all. The blood-stained white cloth blindfolding the girl’s eyes remained, the dagger in her hand unconsciously lowered. This person was very sweet. Sweet enough to overlook those small miseries. And so, wanting more. More and more. It didn’t matter if she had to lie. As long as she could get more. She tugged on Xia Ge’s sleeve. Her voice was small and soft, “So bitter.” No, it’s really sweet. This embrace was so tender. A stranger, yet it didn’t matter. Even if she might kill her, that didn’t matter either. As long as it warmed her a bit. Because right now, she felt cold. “It won’t be bitter for long,” Xia Ge reassured her. Exiting the alley, Xia Ge checked the scant copper coins in her pocket, then glanced at the sky. The sun was veiled by clouds, the skies grew somber, hinting at impending rain. Now the question: Should she take care of this poor child first, or quickly return to the ruined temple and ask the Old Beggar about the Ghost Camp's whereabouts to rescue Ye Ze? She’d initially chosen to stay uninvolved to avoid this dilemma—truth be told, she wanted to quickly find Ye Ze, whose fate was unknown. The girl sensed Xia Ge’s hesitance, clinging tightly to her sleeve with one hand and pointing the other wielding a dagger at her chest, her sweet voice questioning softly, “You said you’ve tasted very sweet things, so the blood is bitter.” “Are you lying to me?” ——Once held on to, it mustn't be let go. This sweet person was hers alone. Xia Ge: “…” Three minutes later. Xia Ge, with an empty coin purse in one hand, holding a little girl dressed in new clothes and eating a candied hawthorn with the other, silently pondered the meaning of life. Well, there went her entire savings from the past few months. Truly penniless. Life was so bitter indeed. “It’s sweet,” the little girl mouthed around the hawthorn, her voice soft, “Very sweet.” Quit lying, little trickster; Xia Ge didn’t believe that a former noble girl hadn't ever tasted candied hawthorn. You’re sweet, and she’s bitter. Xia Ge sighed at her new clothes. “Is that so? Why do I feel a bit bitter, then?” System: “…” Xia Ge led the girl just outside the town and gently patted her head. The little girl compliantly allowed herself to be patted. “Alright, I have to go back now.” Xia Ge stated earnestly, “You mustn’t kill again; it’s a crime." The girl’s grip on the sugarcoated hawthorn, now down to one piece, tightened abruptly. "…You’re leaving?" ——No! “Are you going to abandon me?” ——Impossible! Xia Ge stated the reality: “I can’t afford to take you in.” System: “…” With utmost seriousness, the girl hugged Xia Ge's leg. "I'll give you my life; please don’t abandon me." They couldn't be separated. It would be bitter. This person was so sweet. She was hers. They couldn’t part. Not even in death. The little girl, mouth still full of hawthorn, let out muffled words that hardly sounded sincere. Xia Ge: “…” Why would I need your life; it can’t be exchanged for money, what kind of logic is that? ...Just a child. Xia Ge sighed, squatting down. "I’m going to find someone. Following me will be tiring." The girl shook her head, tugging at Xia Ge's sleeve: "I don't need you to take care of me, and I won't feel tired." Xia Ge was speechless. But I'll be exhausted. System: "Host, um, she’s a key part of Ye Ze's harem and an essential plot task, cough cough..." Xia Ge: "Oh." How does that concern me? System: "..." Unyielding. Desperate. Xia Ge patted the girl’s head, "I'm sorry." She planned to face the Ghost Camp alone and rescue the child of destiny. It was best not to involve others. As Xia Ge began to leave, the girl's grip on her sleeve gently loosened. Xia Ge walked a few steps. "...Killing is wrong, right?" the girl suddenly spoke, her vacant eyes somewhere distant. Xia Ge froze momentarily, then nodded, but realizing the girl couldn’t see, she said, "Mm, it’s wrong." Her voice distant. Chu Yi pondered. Just three steps, huh. "Was I wrong to kill earlier?" she tilted her head, an innocent curiosity reminiscent of a child, "Am I guilty?" Xia Ge's mind flashed back to everything earlier. A blood-soaked child, a numb expression. The more innocent they seem. The more cruel what they endured appears. Xia Ge: "..." At a loss for words. This child reminded her of Dou Dou. The same despair, the same helplessness. Back then, Dou Dou faced bullying, unable to choose anything but passive suffering. This child, however, chose to pick up the knife. In the face of excessive defense, roles can easily reverse in an instant. People often focus on the undue harm to the aggressor, overlooking the victim's despair and fear. ——Though he intended to harm you, you've already killed him, haven't you? People would say. You've killed him, regardless of the reason. Thus, you’re guilty. The girl took a step towards Xia Ge, her cherry lips parting to ask again, "Was I wrong?" Each word, like cold rain, struck her. Hit her heart even colder. It was as if thorns lashed at that moment of indifference. After a while, Xia Ge heard herself say, "You weren't wrong." The girl drew another step closer, asking, "Am I guilty?" One step away, two people with just one step between them. Xia Ge finally sighed, turning to crouch and embrace the child just a step away, her slightly tender voice gentle, "You’re not guilty." The fault wasn't in this child who chose to wield a knife, but in that fleeting moment when she chose to be indifferent. "But if you leave," the girl’s voice was innocent, "I'll kill many more people." "I won't listen, I'll commit many crimes." "I’ll always be a bad child." ——Because only by doing so can she survive. Otherwise, she’d be blinded, sold, bullied, defiled, and eventually die silently in some dark corner. Not even her death would matter. Xia Ge stood firm, unmoving. "If I continue to kill like earlier." "When that time comes, will living itself be wrong?" She asked. With a child's innocence. After a long time, Xia Ge heard her own strained voice. "Living isn't wrong for anyone." Even the most savage criminals. They have the right to live. "You’re especially not wrong." When no one aids, the hopeless may choose the knife. Xia Ge suddenly recalled a phrase she’d once read in another world. ——The world is what’s wrong, not me. A bare reflection. "But I want to be a good child."——If a good child doesn’t die, that is. She looked up, as if asking Xia Ge, or maybe asking herself, "How can I be a good child?" "Can you tell me?" How could she become a good child who could survive? Clad in blood-stained silk, the girl held a single candy hawthorn with her right hand and hid her left behind her back. Her blood-smeared, pale face, voice naive and sweet, those apricot eyes clouded in a mist of grey glass, shimmered with rainwater. A blinding flash of lightning tore through the somber sky, followed by the rumble of thunder and gentle rain falling. The rain mingled with the girl's senses; she couldn’t tell what the person was doing. The person didn’t answer her. In the darkness, even hearing was muted by the rainfall. ——Will she leave? Panic, unease, yet there was belief. ——She won’t leave. This person wouldn’t simply leave. She thought, yet her grip on the hilt of the Meteor Dagger tightened. If this person refused. Then... ——The Buddha said, humans endure eight sufferings. Birth, aging, sickness, death, meeting what they hate, separation from loved ones, unfulfilled desires. Xia Ge mused. Perhaps she was about to face the suffering of raising a child. Xia Ge turned, taking hold of the girl’s hand holding the candied hawthorn, and sighed, "Before I tell you..." "…First, put down the knife in your left hand." The girl smiled the moment Xia Ge took her hand, then obediently sheathed the dagger hidden behind her back. Xia Ge thought, oh well. If she abandoned this child now. Then how would she differ from the self she hated—the one who chose indifference? She might be powerless. But she would try. Author's note: Actually, Chu Yi became a yandere the moment she lost her sight. Yet, she was always a good child before that. = = The line "The world is wrong, not me" is from Tokyo Ghoul. It struck a chord with me, not original, just noting it√ = =