Chapter 39 - The Girl Wants to Be M*rdered

〈 Chapter 39 〉 39. 사량 (？？） --- ** Perhaps I have never truly accepted this world. This world is deceitful. What I am experiencing now is nothing more than a fleeting dream. “Wow!! What is this!?” “It’s called an igloo… um, a house made of snow, perhaps?” “Sia, you’re amazing!!” Nation. Castle. Self. Ethnicity. Religion. Knowledge. Beliefs. Language. Values. No matter what exists, the unique essence of ‘one Sia’ will never change over a lifetime. That essence transcended the world and remained with my soul. Thus, it was inevitable. Unless I abandon my slowly built identity from my previous life, I could never blend into this world. If the world denied my essence, then I would deny this world instead. For someone like me, who lived with such a determination, this world was never a place to which I could grow accustomed. “Whoopee! It’s a sled!!” “Kyaaaa!!” “Hold on tight!!” The decision made by the parents of this world, whom I no longer remember, might have been the right one. No matter what happened, I could never regard them as my true parents. Before I abandoned them, they abandoned me. It’s just a dull story. Yeah. How nice it would be if everything ended neatly like that. How wonderful it would be if it marked the end of my new life. But, embarrassingly enough. Even to myself, pathetically enough. I wanted to receive, if just a little, affection from this world— No, from the world I had rejected— “Come on, let’s play with this today!” Even if only a little. Sweep, sweep. “Go in, go in, go in!!” “…This child… has a remarkable talent for curling…!?” “It went in!!! Hehehe!” The meeting place, now covered in pure white snow. The halfway point up the mountain, where the cold wind softly blew. Alice waited for me every day with a bright smile, unmoved by the biting cold. And today was no different. The child with silver-white hair and fair skin, whose appearance even pure-white snow could not fully hide. Such an enchanting appearance made me think, amusingly enough, that Alice could pass for a snow fairy from a fantasy world. Well, it seemed plausible. “Today was fun too.” “It was fun~!!” Though I looked different from others. Though I introduced new knowledge and games of unknown origin. A friend who accepted all of me. That friend was none other than Alice. “Hehe~!!” “Hahaha!!” We wrapped each other in a warm hug, sharing our warmth. Even though thick clothes blocked us from feeling each other's warmth. From deep within my heart, a warmth surged upward, assuring me that our actions were meaningful. Yes. This was it. Just this. This was what I had longed for. Affection(?), love(?), connection(?), attachment(?). What we commonly call love, I wanted to receive that. Abandoned by parents and having no warm neighbors anywhere in sight. Crawling on the ground desperately to avoid being abandoned by them. In this rotten world, for someone like me who had worked so hard, I believed I had the right to at least that much. “Ah. This is really nice.” But I was wrong. Love was not merely an object to be passively received from someone. Yes. I had been thinking about it all wrong from the start. ‘Sia, I missed you!!’ ‘Alice!!’ Comprehending and helping others, yearning for them. ‘Huh? Did you get hurt, Sia!? Let me see!!’ ‘Boohoo... Help... Alice...’ ‘Blow... blow... huh? Why are you smiling, Sia?’ Cherishing someone, valuing them even over your own life. ‘Ta-da!! A heart-shaped stone I found while thinking of you! It’s a present for you!!’ ‘.......’ ‘Huh..? Sia, are you crying?’ ‘No... no, I’m not....’ And genuinely enjoying all of that. No one defines love as simply receiving it. Of course. To be loved, you must love. As the saying goes, love isn't something to be received, but something to give. Autumn and winter. Two seasons that passed faster than ever. The snow falling so heavily that it seemed intent on coloring the entire world in its hue. Tasting that delicate coldness, I prayed. For the affection I received from the child standing like a masterpiece painting before me. Though I may not boast of anything, I wished to return even a fraction of such invaluable affection to this child. So— ‘This hand…’ When Alice gave a small answer to my question about the injury. When she spoke as if it were a joyous occasion, a happy memory, with a voice devoid of any darkness—as she confessed her painful, ugly, unrevealed truth. “…..I see.” I found myself enveloped in dreadful emotions, yet alongside them, a hint of happiness. I realized I could finally reciprocate to this child. Not just receiving, but being able to give. That even someone like me could love. That's what I thought. ** “ㅡWake up......!!” “...Ugh... huh?” ㅡThud. Thud. Thud. I was fast asleep when I heard a desperate knocking on my door. Rolling off the straw mat I’d been lying on, I moved to greet the insistent visitor calling my name. Was it because I moved quickly? A few pieces of straw fell to the floor. Ugh, I'll have to clean that up later. Yes~ I’m coming, I’m coming. Despite my words, the knocking only grew stronger. “Hahn!! Wake up, quickly!!” “…Oh… Lumiere?” Upon hearing the voice, I immediately recognized the caller. After all, in this small barn where I stayed, there wasn't really anyone who’d come looking for me, and the voice calling my name was one I was quite familiar with. Lumiere. Yet that only piqued my curiosity further. Her voice was urgent and frantic. It was so chaotic that it didn't seem like the usually calm and composed Lumiere at all. “…Did something happen?” I quickly tidied up my messy hair, threw on some presentable clothes, and headed to the door to meet her. I had no idea what was going on, but Lumiere, despite my reassurances that I was coming, continued to call my name, insisting I open the door. Ugh... I’m coming out now, I’m coming out. In less than a minute, the barn door swung open. —Click. “Slow!!” The sound of the locked door opening was much quieter and more anticlimactic compared to the ruckus caused by the knocking. Simultaneously, Lumiere, who seemed to be catching her breath as if impatiently waiting, burst through the barn door. I was startled by her sweaty appearance, but she wasted no time in speaking. And what she said was enough to send my mind spiraling. “Hahn, you need to leave this village, fast!!” “…Huh?” “No time for questions!! Don’t even think about packing anything, just get out quickly!!” …..Huh? I stammered, unable to grasp the situation. With a resolute grip, Lumiere took hold of my collar. My still-weak body, barely awake, was dragged out by her firm grip. I wanted to resolve this with a rational conversation, but Lumiere dismissed my opinions with her fiercely bloodshot eyes. I was too scared to resist. Eep... Despite my inquiries about the situation, Lumiere only issued curt orders without giving any answers. What’s going on? Leave the village. Why? You don’t need to know the reason. What am I supposed to do...? Just run away as fast as you can. It was like talking to a wall. Well… more like a wall, but ahem. There was a lack of explanation, and nothing in her words provided any hint of what was happening in the village. Yet, because Lumiere was the closest person I could call a friend here, I hurriedly left my hideout without even packing simple belongings. After all, I didn’t think she would do anything to harm me. She was the only person in this village I relied on. It was that kind of trust that made it possible. ** Tap, tap, run. Early morning before the sun had even risen. The sound of my and Lumiere’s footsteps echoed in the empty village. “…..Why is no one around? Where did everyone go?” “........” Even though it was the busiest time when people should be bustling about, the empty street felt like an ominous prelude to what was to come. Like yesterday, when countless eyes stared coldly at me. No, an even stronger and overwhelming sense of unease gripped me. The sensation of something rising in my chest was so intense that even as I ran quickly alongside Lumiere, I asked her for the reason behind all this. At the very least, she could tell me the reason and explain the situation. “…..Sigh.” Though her tightly sealed lips showed no inclination to open, my continuous whining eventually made her give in. Just because there’s a goalkeeper doesn’t mean the ball won’t get in the goal. “So, what’s happening? At least tell me the reason—” Not missing that moment, I seized the chance and pried in. An attempt that might be called an effort, if you will. Her answer, however, defied all my expectations. “—Witch trial.” “What?” “More like a hunt.” What kind of hunt? A simple word mumbled from my mouth. Even though I heard it with my own ears, my brain couldn’t fully process it. What does a trial and hunt have to do with the current situation? And what do they mean by witch? Is it the witch I’m thinking of? Does it have anything to do with me? I struggled to understand the word I heard, but still, I could only stand there blankly in confusion. “Listen carefully, Hahn. The villagers suspect you of being a 'witch'.” “They… suspect me…?” A witch…. …Who? …Me? “I’ve got a rough solution, so Hahn. You should—” The more I listened to Lumiere, the more dizzy I felt. My breath grew short, and the edges of my vision seemed to darken. What on earth was she talking about? What happened to me? Even as Lumiere continued to speak urgently and dispassionately, my dull mind couldn’t comprehend it all. But one thing I understood. This situation was very bad. A catastrophic, life-defining disaster. A dreadful death I had experienced in my first life. And now, something equally horrendous was about to occur in my second life. And then. “Now, you need to run—” Just as it— “—Found her. The witch is here!!!” “”......!!”” Right now, it had arrived. ** ---