Chapter 46 - The Girl Wants to Be M*rdered

**Chapter 46: The Gospel** * * * ** Giving love to someone. It’s akin to nurturing a temperamental plant. If, on a whim, you overwater it one day, the petals wither and the roots rot. If you then water it too sparingly out of frustration, the stem won’t grow, and the leaves will wilt. And in the end, tragically, everything perishes. Therefore, giving love should be undertaken with the mindset that it’s synonymous with assuming the responsibility for a life. One should always etch those words deep in the heart. Too strong a grip when cracking an egg can damage not only the shell but its tender insides as well. On the other hand, if you're too gentle, you won’t even make a crack in the shell. The oft-used word, "moderately". The heavy significance it carries is something we must ponder over once more. Yes. Just like now. “—Sia, sister…!!” “...Al...ice…” Dawn descends upon the dense forest where not even an inch ahead is visible. Following the crunching, dry, parched sob as a guidepost, I pushed through the undergrowth, moving forward. Calling her name softly prompts a moan-like response. Despite the thorns raking my clothes, as if warning me away, I steered toward where Sia was. At the time, it seemed the internal injury was more severe than anticipated. Three days have passed since that day, yet my vision remained unsteady, and the dizziness caused my steps to falter. It hurts. I'm weary, wanting to rest. Gravity felt unusually heavy, pulling me down, but such forces couldn’t tie me down. I shook my head vigorously to clear my mind, closed my ineffective eyes, and relied on sound, moving forward step by step. Even if my legs give way and I collapse. Even if my body doesn’t obey my words. If I can't use my legs, then with my single arm. Continuously, forward. Over there. Before me, she was there. Just like I used to be before. A child whose every belief had collapsed. I couldn’t bring myself not to go to her. For helping them was the purpose and destiny bestowed upon me. "Sister, it's been a while." ".....Ah...Ahhh...!" "...Since last I saw you, you've become quite the crybaby, Sia sis." "—It's really been a while." Tightly. I threw myself and hugged her. ** Even in that place where the soft moonlight failed to fulfill its duty. The child, seemingly struggling even to hold herself up, walked alone through the dark forest despite her state. She rejected even my help, refusing to flee from all the painful memories to start anew with happier days. '...Please...sister...!' '.......' Alice coldly slipped from my embrace. To reach out her hand to someone else, to hold another’s hand, Alice, with fluttering empty sleeves, staggered yet moved forward. Even if offering a hand were to mean there would be no hand for her, anywhere. Even if such goodwill turned into a grave wound, as it did this time. The child would never stop. 'Please...sister....!!' Because that’s who Alice was. “.......” Snap, the branch in my hand broke helplessly. I gripped harder until no sound came from my clenched hand anymore. Crunch, crunch. Seconds passed, and I bit my lip hard, scattering the completely crumbled branch below. The particles, carried by the wind, slowly dispersed in the air. Yes. The world was cruel. To the child especially, even more so. Despite being tripped by stones and sometimes banging her head against unseen trees, Alice continued resolutely toward the person who was calling her name with apologies from ahead. Calling each other's names desperately without knowing where the other was. Relying on sound, they moved bodies they couldn’t quite control. When they fell while walking, they got back up. Once utterly exhausted, they crawled, moving on. The distance between them shrank, as did the pain they endured. But as they neared each other, why did the tender bodies collect more unbearable, painful wounds that etched themselves deeper? The world seemed to exist solely to torment Alice. If there were a deity, surely it would be a malevolent god. Otherwise, would a devil disguised as a god wave mockingly at the child from the other side of the world? Despairing at such overwhelming malice and the absurdity of the world targeting one person, my heart burned black as I watched from afar. Even as I watched that pitiful scene, I couldn’t help but lower the hand that I had once reached toward Alice. Of course, I wanted to stop her. Immediately, I wished to halt her. But if I approached the child now, I’d certainly hold her wounded hands and attempt to flee far away. In harsh reality, I might exploit the kindness the child showed me, binding her so she couldn’t go anywhere. Hence, I had to lower the arm I had extended. After releasing her from the strong embrace and moving her near the human sprawled like a corpse, I had no further choices left. I could only watch from afar, helpless to do anything else. I lacked the right to stop the child’s resolve. Akin to one who wounded her in exchange for salvation, the right to halt her actions existed nowhere for me. Thus, even if I wished to stop the child’s actions. Even if I wished to take Alice, who devoted herself by sacrificing her own body for others, and flee to a paradise where it was just the two of us. Clinging to such an ugly desire that only a monster might harbor. All I could do was grit my teeth, climb high into a tree, and imprint the child’s image firmly in my eyes. Yes. Truly, a pitifully pathetic sight it was. “...I... I...!!” “...It's okay. Sister. I'll forgive you.” Swaaah, a cold gust of wind rustled the tree. Even as my body swayed atop it, nothing could divert my focus from the child. This moment, my eyes existed solely to see Alice, and my ears solely to hear her words. So don’t get in the way. Or I’ll kill you? —Snap! “......!!!!” I silently warned the beast, its color akin to the worthless weeds scattered throughout this mountain. A twitch of green. A small branch flew silently and embedded itself precisely into the silhouette passing quietly beneath the tree I was perched upon. Pop, a small spatter of blood burst forth. "Hmph—!!?" Though trembling with pain from the branch shallowly lodged in its shoulder, the creature made no sound and began searching desperately for the direction the branch came from. Finally looking upward, the beast met my eyes—silently watching from above—and startled, it quickly retreated. Without a sound, I slowly mouthed a warning to it. 'Get. Out. Of. Here.' “.....!!” —Tap, tap. Despite the warning, sensing that the beast was still reluctant to give up and intent on interrupting Alice’s precious time, I sent a few more branches its way. The branches embedded themselves in places excluding its vital spots like the arms and chest. Did the steadily mounting pain finally subdue its desires? It eventually tucked its tail and fled. Worried that my actions might have disturbed Alice, I anxiously glanced back to where she was. "But... I...!!" “—I’ll forgive it all.” Thankfully, the child seemed unaware of any disturbance. I breathed a sigh of relief, climbed down, and overturned the bloodstained earth to erase the evidence. I hadn’t killed it, simply because I didn’t want to rob Alice of even a brief moment. And because I didn’t wish to dirty the hands that would soon embrace her. If not for that, I might have ended it. “...It hurt, didn’t it?” “No, it didn’t hurt at all.” “...But it did, didn’t it?” “...Umm, a little? Really... just a little.” “...Haha, what’s that supposed to mean...” Dusting off my sullied hands, I began to walk slowly toward where Alice was. Wondering how to seamlessly join the scene that seemed to be drawing to a close. I approached the precious child who awaited me with love. ** Thus, the story concluded with every character shedding blood and tears. Sia, Ellie, and I—all of us. Saving another takes a long time. Everyone, at one point or another, confronts the abyss-like darker side they've kept inside, sometimes clashing because of it. Unforeseen events occurred, radically altering situations for better or worse. However. Bleeding, hurting one another, and witnessing all you’ve trusted in collapse from the ground up. That is life. What always resolved it was love and affection. “—Will you come with me?” “......Yes!!” What is lost can be replenished anew. The moonlight slipping free from the clouds seemed to bless our future. ** Episode 3: Kindred Spirits. The End. Episode 4: Reunion. Coming soon after a short side story. * * *