Chapter 48 - The Girl Wants to Be M*rdered

〈 Chapter 48 〉 48. 17(?) * * * ** I don't want a lot for Christmas 난 크리스마스에 많은 걸 바라지 않아요. There's just one thing I need 내가 원하는 건 딱 한 가지죠. I don't care about the presents underneath the Christmas tree 크리스마스 트리 아래에 있는 선물 따윈 관심 없어요. I just want you for my own more than you could ever know 난 단지 당신이 내 것이었으면 좋겠어요, 당신이 아는 것 이상으로요. Make my wish come true... 내 소원을 이뤄주세요... All I want for Christmas is you... 내가 크리스마스에 원하는 건 당신뿐이에요... 《All I Want For Christmas Is You ­ Mariah Carey》 ** A letter, written in neat and clean handwriting—as if to convey the writer's heart. It was a letter that would have normally brought a smile and admiration to its reader, now sadly smeared with ink from drops of some liquid. Drip, drip. The once crisp letter was soaked here and there, swollen with the absorbed moisture. Words that must have been written with utmost care, had been washed away by something that poured down like rain, leaving them unrecognizable. It was indeed a heart-wrenching sight. In its tragically ruined state, the letter vividly portrayed the emotions of its author during those brief moments of writing—eliciting tears from anyone who read it. Family, friends, everyone. Even so, she placed the wrecked letter into her most cherished envelope with care, showing her distinctive nature. Always wanting to use the best things for others rather than herself. No matter the circumstances, she tried not to inconvenience anyone or be rude. Her actions were always for others. Such was her nature. Yes—even till the end, she was a good child who was loved by everyone and loved all in return. Her letter trailed down to the very bottom. At the place where the letter concluded, there was a single line miraculously untouched by tears. No fear of her impending death. No grudges against those who drove her to this point. Neither gratitude nor love for family and friends who had cared for her, Just a sentence that filled the reader with despair. [—I'm truly sorry, Yeri. I'm sorry. Please, forgive someone like me.］ An apology asking for forgiveness from a friend who had spoken harsh words to her. That was the only thing left. Indeed. She went to her end without any salvation. Quietly and alone. In the empty classroom, fighting against the terror of death. ** Clatter, clack. In the teachers' lounge, a place that might evoke nostalgia or memories for some. With all the students gone and the daytime clamor also silent, only the rhythmic tapping of computer keyboards could be heard in this quiet space. Except for one voice. "—Teacher Yeri, isn't it about time you go home?" "........Yes?" The joyful noise that almost resembled a song was interrupted by the arrival of an unexpected guest. A female teacher entered as the door clicked open. She offered a concerned suggestion to her colleague, Teacher Yeri, who was sitting there, organizing materials late into the night. At the sound of her name, Yeri flinched slightly. Seeing this, the incoming teacher sighed softly. She felt like she was taking care of a troublesome student again, muttering such words to herself as she walked over to Yeri, who remained seated. It had gradually become her little hobby to assist her colleague who seemed to always be lacking leisure, as if being chased by something—a hobby nobody else knew of. Though a few in the teachers' lounge might have already noticed. Sure enough, as she visited the classroom just in case, she found her colleague who had not yet left work. "...Oh, it's already that late..." "Tomorrow's Christmas, right? Stop working and get some rest! Go have a good time!" ".........." "...Teacher?" What is the privilege of being a teacher or civil servant? The answer varies by person, but she thought that leaving work on time was the most beautiful right of all. Besides, tomorrow was Christmas and it was precious time to be cherished. Why her charming colleague, who should have many admirers, was still here puzzled her. The person in question turned cold as soon as Christmas was mentioned, paradoxically enough. As if she had forgotten tomorrow was Christmas. As if she had heard something she shouldn't have. "...Are you feeling unwell?" "...No, I'm fine, Teacher Se-hee." Had she touched a nerve? Se-hee thought for a moment, but as Yeri slowly organized her things to prepare to leave, Se-hee also looked forward to the joyous night awaiting her, exiting the teachers' lounge. Assuming everything would be fine. With that mindset, Se-hee walked to her parked car. "........." Behind her. Failing to notice Yeri, who was staring blankly into the empty space. ** Slowly, Yeri walked along the snow-blanketed street. On Christmas Eve, as the stars began to twinkle above the trees. It was neither a silent nor a holy night. Amidst the glowing lights of shop signs and dazzling neon, Yeri moved through the bustling crowd, their faces filled with hope, veering into a narrow, dark alley where no one else dared venture. She pulled out a slender cigarette, but couldn't bring herself to light it, resting her back against the cold, unforgiving wall instead. Click, click. The lighter emitted small sparks in vain. "........." She exhaled. The white breath from her lips rose slowly towards the sky, gradually fading away and disappearing within seconds. Yet, Yeri continued this meaningless action, watching the wisps disperse into the air. She thought it would float endlessly, pure and white like clouds in the sky, but it scattered easily with a mere gust of wind. Born and vanished. Created and discarded. "—Look at this, Yuna!" "Wow, it's so shiny!" "........" The youthful voices pulled her out of her reverie, drawing her unfocused gaze toward the alley entrance she had come through. There, illuminated by a shop’s glass windows, two small girls held hands, admiring the display together. They weren’t students she taught, but just about that age. The children, with adorable mittened hands, reached toward the items from outside the glass, sharing little conversations. Their faces so close together they could be touching, their dialogue captured the untarnished innocence unique to children. Just like how Yeri and— "......." Yeri stared at the scene, entranced. Quietly, unseen, in the darkened alley. Had they picked something? Or did they simply want to enter the warm shop? Exchanging warmth through gloves, they cheerfully entered the store. Through the frosted windows, blurred, she could make out the girls ordering something from the kind shopkeeper. The sight was so bright that Yeri turned her gaze slightly away. And moments later, the children emerged from the shop smiling, looking a bit different than before. Just then, a crisp, refreshing winter breeze swept through. The blue and pink scarves they wore fluttered beautifully in the wind. Right before her eyes. —Thud. "...Haa... haa..." The unlit cigarette fell from her lips to the ground. Yeri exhaled a ragged breath, clutching her chest with her right hand. Countless wrinkles formed on her neatly pressed shirt, and her flawless, unstained outfit creaked under the strain. Her breathing came in short gasps, but the freezing air inside her mouth produced no visible breath now. Despite the passage of a few minutes, Yeri's breathing showed no signs of calming. In fact, it became quicker and more erratic. "...Ha, haa, ha, haa, haa." Lying on the ground in a heap, unable even to sit, she lay on the cold, snow-covered ground, trembling violently. As numbness crept in, her lips and eyelids twitched faintly. Anyone could see how dire the situation was, but as she turned paler, Yeri made no call for help, instead slowly wrapping her left hand around her own neck. As if urging herself to die. Pushing through her rebellious limbs, she moved with determination. Her steadily dilating pupils captured the distant image of the two fluttering scarves. "...Haha." A bitter, hollow laugh echoed through the deserted alley. ** Make my wish come true... 내 소원을 이뤄주세요.. All I want for Christmas is you... 내가 크리스마스에 원하는 건 당신뿐이에요... ** * * *