Chapter 188 - The Outcast Writer of a Martial Arts Visual Novel

Chapter 188 - The Agony of Parting with Love (愛別離苦) - 1 "What are you talking about?" Not able to go together? It may simply mean that we can't set off together, yet the sad expression on Hwarin's face made it clear that it meant something else entirely. "I mean it literally. I have to stay with the Sacheondang Family from now on." "Are you ill? Did you fail to become a Poison Master?" There were points of doubt. No visitors allowed, the attitude of the family doctor, Hwarin's sudden visit, the medicine she had taken in the morning, and her strange demeanor today. Could it be that Hwarin failed the Poison Master experiment? Concerns I had pushed aside suddenly flooded over me. "No. I succeeded." Hwarin slowly shook her head, denying my words. "Is the Dang family refusing to acknowledge you as a Poison Master? Or are they saying if the Young Master dies, you can't leave either?" If that's the truth, I would rush to the head of the Dang family right away. If you guys want, I'll give you a game for the throne. "No." "Then what is it? Why are you doing this?" "……." Hwarin tried to manage her expression, but the force in her eyes as she swallowed her words revealed her struggle. "Talk to me. Hwarin." "There's a problem with controlling the poison." As if confessing a painful truth, Hwarin bowed her head and spoke to me. "The poison? Like before, you can't control it and lose consciousness, or it causes you pain?" "There are no health issues. But when it's not the usual times, there is a problem with controlling the poison." "Not the usual times?" As I looked at Hwarin with a bewildered expression, she stood up, put some distance between us, and raised her hand to gather the poison energy, demonstrating the process. "Yeah. The Poison Sect's qi is so abundant that even I can't control it, and when my emotions become too intense, the poison leaks out." Hwarin added that the poison could naturally appear, just like cold sweat when one is extremely nervous or tears when sad. "You've not fully become a Poison Master?" But your skin is clear. "Right. My condition is what the Sacheondang Family considers the stage of a complete Poison Master. Like the creatures possessed with a Poison Sect, unaffected by the internal poison, yet capable of wielding it, and if there is a physical anomaly, poison naturally exudes from the body." "Are you saying that state is genuinely considered a complete Poison Master?" Hearing Hwarin’s words, it seemed less like she had become a complete Poison Master and more like she had turned into a human spirit creature carrying lethal poison. Could that really be considered a complete Poison Master? I asked incredulously. "If I had taken my time and absorbed only the poison essence of the Millennium Ego, there would have been no problem. The issue is that things moved too quickly, and I had to absorb the poison essence from two spirits." With an expression that swallowed sorrow, Hwarin consoled me, saying that even this much was a miracle. Hwarin. The one who should be consoled isn't me. Right. For an average person, consuming even a small amount of this deadly essence would be lethal; surviving two indeed is a miracle. Everyone would cheer on this bittersweet success. Yet, I know. ‘It's my fault. Once again, my lack of renown was the issue.’ The fact that there wouldn't have been a problem with just one Millennium Ego's poison essence means that if I had enough renown, even two would have been possible. Is it my responsibility that Hwarin can't return to Daeseogak? 一 See you again, Yoon Ho oppa. The moment Sohee had promised to reunite and left fluttered past my eyes. Was I bound to part ways again without promise this time? "…Is it my fault?" I muttered in frustration without realizing it. I thought I could save Hwarin. I thought I had saved her. But in this state, even if it’s different from the original work's ending, if she cannot touch others, wouldn't it just be another bad ending? In a large city like Yichang, famous even within the Sacheondang Family, shouldn't I have the power to save at least one woman of sorrowful fate? Just how much renown is needed to save their destinies? It wouldn’t be so frustrating if there was a visible metric to it. "Yoon Ho. That's not it." Hwarin sharply countered my muttering with a firm face. "No. If I had tried harder..." What choices should I have made for Hwarin to experience a happy ending? Many assumptions flashed by, yet none could conclusively answer. Hwarin opened her mouth to my indignant face. "Why are you blaming yourself? Yoon Ho, you did your best. My daily life has no issues. Now I can walk through the market without a mask and even buy food on the street." "But Hwarin..." Humans are beings who experience joy, anger, sorrow, and pleasure. Sometimes we feel overwhelming happiness, other times uncontrollable anger, and despite denial, feelings of love and joy arise. Can we really say that being able to converse with people bare-faced is truly living life properly? "I know you're worried, but there is a way. There's a martial arts in the Dang family's secret library created just for Poison Masters." "Martial arts designed for Poison Masters?" "Yes. No matter how intense my emotions get, as long as the achievement of the martial art deepens, there won't be a problem. That's why, after three days of learning its basics and taking the medicine the family doctor provided, I could have fun with you." "So it's okay then?" Was the medicine from the family doctor for that particular reason? If there are medicine and martial arts, there should be no issues with daily life, and there would be no problem leaving for Yichang. Reading my anticipation, Hwarin glanced at me slightly pleased but then confessed with a sorrowful face. "Yeah, if I master the martial arts for Poison Masters, I'll be okay. So, Yoon Ho... Let's break up." "What are you talking about? Isn't it fine if you master the martial arts?!" Hwarin's declaration of parting stabbed my heart painfully like a dagger of despair following a small glimmer of hope. "The accomplishment of my martial arts and the effect of the medicine are not yet perfect. Therefore, I must remain with the Sacheondang Family." "We'll only be apart for a short time." I could understand taking a break from each other for a while. We're not parting ways because we dislike each other, so why propose a separation? As I was about to speak, Hwarin cut me off and continued. "While I master the martial arts. I cannot be with Yoon Ho. Next to Yoon Ho, I shouldn't... shouldn't be joyful, or sad, or happy, or angry." Hwarin turned her head away, avoiding my gaze. "Why are you making a big deal out of a brief separation?" "It's not brief. To achieve it, it will take far, far... too long." "How long will it take?" Could it be decades? A lifetime might not even suffice. If so, I could understand Hwarin's despair. "10 years..." "Excuse me?" "It could take up to 10 years..." ********************* 'As expected, he's shocked.' Dang Hwarin looked at Kang Yoon Ho's surprised face. It was as she had predicted. No matter how much love there was between lovers, 10 years was an excessively cruel amount of time. 'Surely, most people marry by the age of 25.' In a world where marrying in the late teens to early twenties is the norm, Yoon Ho and Dang Hwarin are both 21, soon to turn 22. Although the aging process is slower for martial artists due to their internal energy cultivation, just three more years would label them as old bachelors and spinsters. 'Yoon Ho will continue to rise.' He is the kind of man who would succeed anywhere. On top of that, he has the fame of being the head of the Yichang Daeseogak and the author of Dangga Pungun's supreme brush. Despite being disqualified for marriage by virtue of his black hair as a man from Joseon, soon even that will no longer be a disqualification. To hold on to a man who can find an excellent match for almost a decade. By the time he's 32, he would be of the age to have three children. Could she keep holding on to Yoon Ho as his fame grew day by day? As for herself, with no certainty of when she could return to the world, Dang Hwarin wasn't confident. Dang Hwarin couldn’t face how Kang Yoon Ho might be looking at her now. She sat down on the floor, looked up at the night sky through the large window, and began to speak. "Yoon Ho. You know, I never wanted to be a member of the Sacheondang Family or become a poison master or any such thing. I just, just... wanted a friend." She had wanted a friend. Someone she could open up to. The stars twinkled faintly in the sky she gazed upon. Whether reaching for a star or the hand of a friend, both seemed equally unattainable. Who would approach her when even her reflection made her flinch? She couldn’t believe only happy things would happen to her. But a miracle came at the most desperate time. "It seems like heaven is angry at my greediness." Dang Hwarin hunched over in grief as she once did, embracing her knees. A man who came like a miracle. Why is he helping me so much? Even when pushed away, he takes my hand again. With him, she felt like an ordinary person. From a naive young lady of the Seng Family ignorant of the world to becoming a celebrated Poison Master of the Dang Family, Yoon Ho risked everything to help her. She had wanted a friend. Somehow, someone precious and irreplaceable had appeared in her life. "Do you really need a full 10 years to achieve mastery of the martial arts?" Dang Hwarin flinched at the voice of the most precious person coming from beyond her bent head. "It could be one year, or three. And it could stretch up to 10 years." "I see..." A daunting duration. Dang Hwarin felt tormented by Kang Yoon Ho's silence. "I wanted to have someone precious. Now, that's impossible." The toxic energy within her body was unprecedented in the Dang Family. A short term is just a hope; it's prudent to prepare for a 10-year duration. 'I have nothing to give Yoon Ho.' Holding on to him for what could be ten years is a sin. Just because Yoon Ho always took her hand, she cannot cling to him out of gratitude for his kindness and love, offering him nothing in return. She must let go. She doesn’t want to. Why should she? When he's so precious. When she loves him so much. Dang Hwarin imagined Kang Yoon Ho’s wedding. The fact that her place wasn't hers burned more painfully than any poison. However, she couldn't forgive herself for standing in the way of his future. That's why today she had her last outing. Fine clothes, beautiful objects, delicious food. That's all the pathetic woman in her could give. "Yoon Ho. Forget someone like me and... find a better woman..." Dang Hwarin spoke as if expelling a pain greater than her body being consumed by poison. The Agony of Parting with Love (愛別離苦). Even if parting with a loved one hurts more than anything, it's her turn to step aside for their future. This time she had to let go of the hand she always held. "Good grief. This foolish girl." However, the man's hand did not know how to let go. "What?" Dang Hwarin, startled, looked up at Kang Yoon Ho. "I thought you were sick with some terminal illness and I'd never see you again. Are you really going to cry over something so trivial?" Kang Yoon Ho said, smiling as if to reassure her as he again reached out to the girl sunken in despair. "Get up." As always, he extended his hand to Dang Hwarin.