Chapter 76 - The Girl Wants to Be M*rdered

**Chapter 76: Return to the Heavens** * * * ** It was a day of relentless snowfall. Between the dark grey clouds, pure white feathers floated, unmarred by any speck of dirt. The first snow of the year. Feeling the chilling cold, I made my way toward the entrance of the Museion, where Remi resided. My feet dragged heavily across the ground with a listless shuffle. My steps were so slow and lethargic. ─Thud, thud. "I thought I said only two should accompany me." "...I apologize." "No, it's my fault." As I walked, I spoke to the two escorts beside me. I had been clear with them that I wanted to minimize the number of escorts following me, not wanting to needlessly agitate Remi. I was in the capital of the empire, after all; there shouldn't be any direct threats against me. A large procession of guards would only discomfort everyone, not just Remi. Initially, I had considered going alone but allowed two guards, thinking of them as a compromise. However, I hadn't expected them to defy orders and secretly follow me like this. Their faces bore the marks of guilt and reflection. Yes. For them, who valued honor and loyalty above all, failing to respect my wishes would weigh heavily on their conscience. But my safety, the most important value to them, led them to make this tough decision. Remi, the victim of my actions. Even though I said it was alright, they likely feared my sister might attack me as she did once before. Or perhaps, they worried I might fall into despair and end up offering my neck to Remi myself. Whatever the case. All of this was an extension of the consequences of my actions. All of this happened because people couldn't trust me enough. Therefore— "Let's go." ""Yes, ma'am."" I had no right to punish them. In fact, my mistakes were greater since I caused them concern and trouble. As always, that's how it's been. ─Swish. The falling snow grew heavier instead of letting up over time. What started as a gentle sprinkle now spread wildly, like a horse's mane. On the streets blanketed by the year's first snowfall, children packed snow into balls and ran off somewhere, while shopkeepers began setting up awnings in front of their stores. Unperturbed faces of workers, indifferent to the falling snow, carried armloads of coal, busy rushing down the streets. Not a single person among the countless people paused in their tracks. What drives them to move? For what purpose do they live each day? Will there ever be a day when I can understand the hearts of those finding a middle ground between joy and tedium as they live out their daily lives? "...Phew." Though the sun had long since risen, the streets showed no sign of brightening as I strolled, trying to gather my thoughts on what to say when I met Remi. Have you been well? Are you hurt or ill in any way? Everyone in the family is worried about you. I pondered these words over tenderly, though I knew I could never speak them in front of Remi. Molding them like wet snow, tenderly. But the chance that this ball of snow would ever reach Remi seemed impossible. 'Why… why…!!' '…...' 'Why did you kill Aris... What did she do wrong?! How could you...!!!' The vision of Remi cursing me for all eternity, demanding what face I had to appear before her and telling me to never show up in front of her again, was so vividly imprinted in my mind that it felt as if she were actually standing before me. A bitter smile played on my lips as I faced the grim future that lay ahead, one where I couldn't even cry or laugh. Yet, like those around me, I continued walking forward. Even if what awaited was only a cruel fate. Condemned prisoners aren't allowed to stop their walk to the gallows. "Cold." I quickened my pace. In the background of the jingle of someone’s small bell resounding through the market street, my steps finally quickened, matched to the rhythm. Somewhere—jingle, step faster. "Wow, Your Royal Highness?!" "........." Even amid the startled voice of the escort, I didn't slow my pace. No matter how fast I ran, avoiding the snow that poured from the sky was impossible. And yet, the heavier I pushed forward, the more the snow piled on my shoulders, intensifying. In a futile chase where no pursuers existed, with only a fleeing individual, the absurd escape did not cease. Where am I walking to? From what am I fleeing? "....Ah." Yes. The Museion. I was on my way to see Remi. When my steps—seemingly as though fleeing from something—found their true direction towards my destination. When fresh snow filled and layered upon the trails that melted into tears beneath, painting the streets white once more. My footsteps resumed their regular pace. At the same time, the halted ambient noise returned to my ears. And then— ["...! Aris, thank you!! Hehe!"] ["...Yes."] Ahead, I heard a familiar voice. ** At first, I thought I was mistaken. I presumed I misheard someone else whose voice bore a resemblance. If not that, perhaps my yet-unsettled mind conjured a hallucination. Even now, closing my eyes sometimes vividly resurrected past sounds and memories. Memories returned, painfully vivid: Aris and Remi playing in the garden, Aris running to me with open arms as I quietly read from afar. The bright, lively sounds of Remi, forever lost to me. The laughter of Aris, which I buried with my own hands. I thought these precious memories had resurfaced just to torment me. Yes. That’s what I thought. "....Cough, wheeze! Wh-what...!" "...Aris!? What's wrong?" "......Ah?" But it wasn’t just a haunting memory. The closer I got to the source of the sound, the more distinct it became. It was an unfamiliar, strained voice, as if Aris was gasping painfully. The escort walking beside me guessed out loud, speculating that the voice might actually belong to Remi. And in the distance, I could see Remi and a small figure beside her, clutching Remi's clothing, trembling. Someone I knew—someone who should not be there. Impossible. Yet, in a trembling voice, I spoke. ".........Ah... Aah..." "...Aris?" A tentative question. The fragmented pieces of my call captured everyone's attention. There was Remi, looking at me in shock as if witnessing something forbidden. Beside her stood two women with black hair, also peering my way in surprise. Their gazes were fixed on me, yet my attention focused solely on the child there. A small child. ".....Ah?" It was unmistakable. There was no way I could fail to recognize her. She looked different, yes. She had grown so much over two years. Silver hair spilled out of the black hood that couldn't hide it all. As she slowly turned, her deep teal eyes—a blend of forest and sea—met mine. Aris Archaia. Aris, my sister who was supposed to be dead. Faced with this impossible sight, I found myself frozen, unable to speak or move. How on earth? Why was Aris with Remi? The clear reality I held began to crumble under the weight of the evidence before me. My thoughts spun wildly, like a long worm crawling into my ears, twisting and squeezing my brain. I forgot to breathe, consumed by the apparition in front of me. Was that the issue? Did I think the changed present could bury the past that had already happened? The deeds I committed remained unchanged. "...No...!" Aris' small mouth opened, and as it did, I was painfully reminded of what I, consumed by ugly jealousy, had done to her. The sticky sensation creeping up my fingertips. The dreadful feeling of a sharp blade piercing soft skin again and again. The murderer facing the one they had killed. If that were the case, where was I? Surely. Without a doubt, it was hell. "—Nooooooooooooooo!!!!!" ** * * *