Chapter 78 - The Girl Wants to Be M*rdered

Episode 78: Aesop’s Fable *** “Alice, are you awake?” “.........” A soft sigh escapes my lips. I lay in silence, moments passing as an indistinguishable, chilling breath rustles in my ear. It is as if a tiny insect crawls within, creating an unsettling rustle and discomfort. It took me a moment to recognize that the voice belonged to Ellie. Ellie noticed my breathing pattern shift slightly from its regular sleep rhythm and assumed I had awoken, prompting her to speak. Did I sleep well last night? Did I have any frightening dreams? This was the cautious and considerate inquiry I had grown accustomed to over the past two years, gently waking me from sleep. On typical days, I would have rubbed my sleepy eyes and wrapped my arms around Ellie’s body in place of an answer. We would jest about how we each appeared in each other's dreams, dispelling any fear and sharing the amusing coincidence that we were dreaming about one another. On particularly drowsy mornings, I would beg for just a little more sleep, coyly appealing until Ellie would grant me just a few more moments of slumber, and she would gently stroke my hair until I awoke on my own. The small joys nestled within daily life. But. Right now, such normalcy was beyond my reach. Rather than respond to Ellie’s inquiry, I was preoccupied with suppressing something rising from deep within. “.........” Shut up. I said, shut up. Everyone, just be quiet. Ellie’s voice, once refreshing and beautiful like birds chirping. But now, something about her voice felt off, as if devolved into the unpleasant static of a broken cassette tape. It wasn’t just Ellie’s voice, either. ['Let me go! I’ll just kill that jerk and see Aris!'] ['Is this crazy princess serious?! Why the hell is she so strong? Hey, stop moping around and go do something. Anywhere but here!'] The sound of Remi and Sia arguing through the walls. The window rattling endlessly under the wind’s assault. The trickle of water flowing from the upstairs plumbing through the pipes. All of it turned into unpleasant, scratchy noise assaulting my ears. ─Thump! “....I don’t want...!” “─Ah.” I pulled the covers over my head. Unwilling to face this cruel reality, unable to fully accept that I was still alive. I squeezed my eyes shut, covered my ears, and burrowed deeper into the suffocating cocoon of my blanket. The gaze I felt from Ellie, the reputation that could plummet because of this incident, none of it held meaning for me. Not when I seemingly had nothing left. Even with the blanket pulled over my head. “Why....! Why...!” “....Yes. I am here.” Even as I desperately tried to block my ears with the one hand I had left. The bright sunlight pierced through the blanket, through my eyelids, knocking persistently at my retinas. The cacophony around me, mocking my feeble attempts to block it out, assaulted my mind unbidden. Even when I tried to choke off my own breath, my trembling hands failed me, only intensifying the noise battering my unprotected ears. Ultimately, I had to acknowledge that even the seemingly eternal song of the canary has an end. Or perhaps. “.....Alice?” Was the real damage within me all along? Today, my ears were deaf. In the haze of distant memories feeling both like a far-off past and just yesterday, I could only grasp a cold, inorganic sensation, devoid of the warmth that should have been there. Before that, I lost the right to inhale the fragrant scent of blooming flowers, and in the seeming infinity of existence, I must have let other things slip away as well. Losing, and losing again. What more will the world strip away from me tomorrow, or the day after? What will I be forced to give up this time? The relentless ticking of the clock hands pointing to 3 o'clock couldn’t be stopped. Even if I plucked the hands out, or broke its ticking mechanism, it wouldn’t halt this moment in time. No matter how tightly clasped my fingers try to scoop up water from the sea, it could never remain forever within my grasp. The inevitable droplets slipping through my fingers would relentlessly plummet to the floor. With each passing day, living means a little more dying. Even now, while I am alive, I inch towards my end. Truly. That’s the simple truth. “....My heart... it hurts, Ellie... it hurts so much.” “....Is that so.” The ongoing clamor, two people’s insistent noise, refused to relent. As I finally threw off the blanket that had enveloped me, the glaring sunlight asserted its presence even against my closed eyes. That sunlight, insistent that I had not yet perished, felt unbearably cruel at this moment. ─Slide. “......” Looking into Ellie’s face, which seemed on the verge of tears, I slowly rose from the bed. Like stepping on weak ice, gradually melting under the warm sun, soon to vanish completely—I was poised, pondering what I must do in this moment. If the ice beneath me melted away, would my fate be to sink into a dark abyss where no light could reach? Amidst this wave of destiny, all I could do was cling as tightly as I could to anything within my grasp. Though I knew better than anyone else that nothing I grasped could truly save me. I understood that my eventual fate was to be left as nothing but bones, surrounded by sharks on the open sea. The only thing I could do. My sole act of rebellion and resistance. Was to continue that meaningless repetition, over and over. I said it. "...I want to go out." "..........." Empires that once ruled the world never last a thousand years. Plays that feel eternal eventually close their curtains. Let’s go out. Let’s carve out my heart, burn my soul. Let’s put an end to this miserable existence. ─Clutch...! "I want to see Anna sister." ".....Understood." Struggling underwater, grasping for even a straw, I held onto whatever bound me with all my might. The innocent blanket caught in my grip crumpled without any resistance, vanishing into insignificance. Was the crumpled fabric to become my fate? ** Everyone seemed detestable. The arrogant buffoon who abruptly appeared before me and Aris while we were enjoying a rare moment together, arrogantly claiming the right to take Aris away because he supposedly protected her. Or the shameless fool who showed up in front of Aris, her victim, saying she just wanted to apologize when it would’ve been more fitting for her to quietly disappear. All of them, pressing their desires and wishes upon Aris, masking them with sweet words that they were doing it for her. What makes them think they have the right to intrude between me and Aris? Truly. It was unbearable. "....Aris." "...Anna, sister." The door opened, revealing just a sliver the width of two fingers. The high-pitched creaking of the door filled our living room. To most, it was just a faulty hinge creaking, but to me, it sounded like Aris was crying. Aris, saying she’s struggling. Saying she can’t hold on any longer— “─Sister!!” ".....! Aris!?" No. I couldn’t hear anything else. "I missed you so much...!!" "....No, Aris.... If you come to me...." Without slowing down, Aris rushed into Anna’s arms, throwing herself into her embrace. A soft thud erased the sound of Anna Akai’s cries, resonating throughout the living room. Her actions left those watching Aris release a small gasp. "...! Ah!" ".......!" In response to Aris's impulsive action, Sia, who was holding onto me, and the woman observing Aris, flinched and shuffled. Their insufficient demeanor elicited a small sigh from me. But Aris disregarded all eyes upon her, focusing solely on embracing the woman who had once intended her harm. Anna, trembling and unsure, attempted to push Aris away, yet Aris only burrowed deeper the more Anna tried to remove her. Deeper. Even deeper. Like a lost child finding her parents again. Aris rubbed her cheek against Anna’s, burying her face into Anna's chest. Despite losing all memories during that time, Aris finally could savor the embrace of the beloved sister she longed for and remembered. ─Tight...! "I wanted to see you...so much!" "....Ah...Ah...!" However, just as everyone sighed in relief at the seemingly happy scene. My eyes were riveted to the tiny space between Anna’s chest and Aris’s face which no one else noticed. "........" When I saw those teal eyes flickering within, I became certain. I was the only one who truly understood Aris and could make her genuinely happy in this place. "...Indeed." More than anything, this truth cut to the bone. ** * * *