第77話　甘い記憶、苦い記憶② - I Was Cheated on by My Girlfriend but My Devilish Junior Now Yearns for Me

In our basketball club, "Start," I've had some conflicts with a few senior members who accompanied Reina when I first met her at the school festival. The trigger was quite trivial. Word had gotten around that I was dating Reina, a stunning college student, so I often received requests to set up group dates. "Pretty college girls attract other pretty college girls." They kept pressing this simplistic mindset onto me, which was exhausting, so I always refused with a quick reply. Finally, one of the seniors, Rikito-san, lost patience and said to me: "Honestly, that girl is too good for you, Yuta." Rikito-san seemed deeply impressed when he met Reina at the school festival, frequently pestering me to show him her photo. My ego swelled at the thought of dating someone like Reina, so I usually obliged. Looking back, it was reckless of me. "Come on, share a bit. You only managed to date her because we made the opportunity for you, right?" "You have nothing to do with it. If you're desperate to meet someone, why not try picking up girls yourself?" I didn't think my response was overtly problematic. Even though I was annoyed, I tried to choose words that wouldn't cross the line. But apparently, for that senior, it was unacceptable. First, I stopped receiving invitations to the regular weekly drinking parties. I wasn't even invited to the annual group trip. A few weeks later, people started talking behind my back. — Feels like middle school all over again. That's what I thought. I assumed that at a university of a certain caliber, there wouldn't be people like this. But with such a large student body, I guess it's inevitable. Popular clubs tend to only admit new members through application forms and interviews to limit the numbers. When I found this out, I wondered where the casual atmosphere of a club had gone. But in hindsight, it was probably an effective way to filter out those who didn’t fit. The current problem is that someone who doesn't fit is targeting me specifically. Since those around me have matured to some extent, the atmosphere isn't like high school ostracism. Everyone still talks to me normally, and some even say, "Don't let it get to you." The purpose of the basketball club is to play basketball. The enthusiasm may differ, but that core purpose doesn't change. You'd think that's obvious if you mature a bit, but there's a certain type that treats a club as nothing more than a "playground." And those types often have the loudest voices. Within "Start," Rikito-san epitomizes that type. So it's understandable that other members wouldn't take sides in the cold war between me and Rikito-san. I wouldn't directly intervene unless I was very close to someone, either. "Hey, is something up?" "Nothing." I answered Ayaka's question like that. I stubbed out my cigarette in the ashtray, quietly venting my frustration. Club drama can be resolved by simply quitting, if it comes to that. Unlike high school, in college, you can change your environment as much as you want. I don't want to drag others into this situation. "Alright then." Ayaka briefly replied and handed me a lighter. I leaned in and lit a new cigarette. "Thanks." "No problem." I exhaled the gray smoke away from Ayaka. Moments like this release me from stress. I had been smoking rather casually, but lately, I've started relying on it a bit more. "Something really did happen, didn't it?" "Huh?" "You've never chain-smoked before. At least not in front of me." Her words made me feel a bit embarrassed. Despite being a non-smoker, Ayaka would sit with me while I smoked. It was a self-imposed rule to avoid making her wait too long, so I usually limited myself to one cigarette, even if she offered a lighter. "…Sorry, I smoked two." "That's not what matters. I'm saying you must be stressed enough to smoke a second one." "I told you, it's nothing." At that moment, Ayaka pulled the cigarette from my mouth. She moved it closer to me, wearing a gentle smile. "Want me to put a burn on you?" "Your face doesn't match your words at all!" I protested while stepping back, and Ayaka snorted in amusement. Her actions caught me off guard. If I asked for help, Ayaka would likely support me. But she would respect and watch over me if I chose not to say anything. We’d spent a lot of time together, but my understanding of her had been off. Suggesting something like branding as a joke... well, it must be a joke, after all. "Toudou-kun told me." "What?" "You're having issues, aren't you? Why didn't you say anything?" I suddenly fell silent. …Toudou, that guy. If Ayaka had been informed by him, I could understand why she was being a bit forceful. "If it were that someone in my family was going through hard times or something, all I could do is offer comfort. If I didn't know the situation, I wouldn't have asked you so directly, like earlier." "Ah… That's how you are, Ayaka." "What do you mean by 'how I am'?" Ayaka pursed her lips and handed the cigarette back to me. "I mean you're incredibly considerate of others." "…It's not really consideration. Toudou-kun said I could help, so I'm talking to you." Ayaka narrowed her eyes. Avoiding her gaze, which seemed to see through me, I took another drag from the cigarette. It was already halfway down by now. "It's honestly not a big deal. If it doesn't improve soon, I’ll just quit." Being a university student, there's no reason to stay in a stressful community. Joining a new club at this time could be a hassle. Unexpectedly, it seems my opportunity to play basketball will disappear. "I thought you liked that club quite a bit." "Even so, it's no use. It's better to quit than to fight with unreasonable people." I inhaled deeply, trying to sever any lingering attachment to basketball. "And besides, even if I quit, I have Reina. I can just think of it as extra time to spend with her, a lucky break." "What is that supposed to mean?" For the first time, Ayaka frowned. "Reina has her own good points, I’m sure. But there were things you liked about the club too, right? That's why you stayed all this time." "That’s—" The memories come easily. The exhilaration of dodging a defender in a one-on-one and making the net sway with my shot. The scene where I successfully pulled off a challenging double clutch and shared a high-five with Toudou. As I bit my lower lip, Ayaka continued. "Having two enjoyable things is great. It's a waste to give up on one. You should be more greedy." I tried not to think about it. My enjoyable moments aren't so cheap as to be taken by Rikito-san. "Thanks to someone, I've learned to be greedy." "You, huh?" "Yes. I had to choose between keeping up appearances and—" Ayaka paused, blinking, before closing her mouth. "Well, I shouldn't say more." "What is that supposed to mean?" I chuckled wryly. I was about to lift the cigarette to my mouth but stopped. "Chase two hares, catch neither, right?" "Then make a third hare." The wind blew, gently stirring Ayaka's hair. Feeling the chill as winter approached, I looked up at the clear blue sky. ...I never thought of it that way. "Hey Ayaka." "What?" "Can I lean on you?" Ayaka smiled slightly and gave my shoulder a light pat. I extinguished my half-finished cigarette in the ashtray. Though it felt a bit wasteful, I felt guilty for keeping Ayaka here any longer. "Do you smoke in front of your girlfriend?" "No, I try not to." "...I see." Ayaka replied shortly and stepped out of the smoking area. As I started to follow her, Ayaka turned back to me. "Then I'll go check out your club." "Wait, you don't need me?" "Having you there while things are tense will just be a distraction." "Isn't that a bit harsh?" I couldn't help but chuckle, and Ayaka's expression softened too. —There are still moments that remain unchanged. Even as the environment around us shifts, these moments persist. Ayaka walked alone over the red leaves scattered on the ground.